My Sincerest Apologies For The Delay In the Update. My Boss, Who Has Been Acting Bitchy A.F (due to pregnancy hormones) Had Everyone Work Overtime Last week And The Weekend Too. Also I've Rewritten This Update 4 Times Trying To Get Some Logic Into It. (It Still turned Out Sloppy, I'm Sorry). I'll Be Doing Some Major Editing Once I Get Time, But For Now I Hope This Will Be Ok.
Note: Writing in Bold Italics Is The Flashback. There Is A lot Of Things Not Addressed In The FB But it Will Be In The Next Update. Also Not Proof Read So Mind Grammar And Spelling Errors.
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Shivaay walked over to stand right in front of her, his eyes a strange hard green, his body motionless. She wasn't surprised in the least when he towered over her, his anger almost making her shudder.
"You. Left. Me
It was the last thing she'd expected him to say. "There's nothing left between us. Those are your words if I recall
He had her scrambling backward before she realised it. Her back hit the wall. His mouth on her own, his hand gripping her at the neck as his body pinned her against the wall.
She should have resisted, but how was she supposed to exercise restraint when he was everything she had ever wanted?
When she loved him to the point of making him hate her just so he could be safe from the truth.
"You left me A husky accusation against her ear.
"You didn't want to do what I wanted and you said-"
Shivaay's response was scalpel sharp and as cold. "You forced me to do and say all those things!"
Anika felt her heart turn cold at his words. No, no, he can't know, she begged to whichever God was listening.
"I want you to start explaining. Now!
Se desperately wanted to hold him, to scream at the injustice of what had been done to them both, but instead she tightened her grip on her own wrists until her hands threatened to go numb. "What's there to explain?"
"EXPLAIN TO ME WHY THE HELL YOU DID WHAT YOU DID! WHY DID YOU PURPOSELY INFURIATE ME?" He shouted harshly while pushing her away from him. "YOU INTENTIONALLY SAID ALL THOSE THINGS. INTENTIONALLY MADE SURE I WOULD SAY THOSE THINGS!"
"No. They promised me. They promised me. she whispered stumbling back to hit the wall, but she barely felt the pain because her body was slowly numbing. Her breath caught in her throat, dots swam in front of her eyes.
And Anika realised her heart losing its rhythm with the fear that was overtaking her.
He went very, very still. "What did they promise you?
Something in those words, in the dead rage of his tone, made her eyes shoot to his and she flinched, a sea of viscous anger in his green eyes.
A hand on the back of her neck "That they'll play along?
Her chest still hurt, shards of glass in her veins as he moved his hand to cup her cheek and said. "I don't like you hiding things from me, Anika. Tell me-"
His phoned rang and Anika heard him curse softly as he saw the caller name before he answered. "Yes, I've got her. We're at her old house, don't tel anyone except Rudra and your mom!"
A pause. And then he handed her the phone. Anika took the phoned with shaky hands and placed it to her ear. "Omkara-"
"Mom couldn't see him so broken last night. I'm sorry, bhabi-
"How much doe-?" She asked him, her stomach tight with a raw mix of fear and something she couldn't put a name to.
The phone was snatched out of her hand before she could get an answer. "Om-...She can damn well deal with my anger!"
Anika watched as her phone was flung across the room to smash against the wall. She gasped but it was cut short as she heard "My mom made you leave. Didn't she?"
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A kind of vulnerability swirled in her eyes mixing with fear that made her brown eyes seem black. "How much do you know? She wrapped her arms around herself.
Opening his own arms, because he needed to know she was here, was with him, he said, "Come here.
After a small hesitation, she threw herself into his arms, her head hidden in the crook of his neck and Shivaay felt hot tears sear his skin. "I didn't want to Shivaay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry
The rock that sat on his heart threatened to stop it. Her hand stroked over his stuttering heartbeat. Shivaay gulped and said "She made you leave
"Yes.
He froze, every cell as hard as ice. With that whispered confirmation, he put her gently aside, walked forward and then he began to tear the room apart with methodical precision.
He was aware of Anika standing in the same spot he had left her, teary eyes on him, but she didn't say anything until he'd finished demolishing the living room.
Stepping to window, he stared out. The setting sun a strange symbolism of the darkness that had set in his life.
"You were right, Anika he said, the padding of her feet on the wooden floor, as she crossed to him, hammer blows against his ribs, "About everything. My mot- That woman, you were right about her
Shivaay had almost lost Anika because of his mother. Almost. If his brothers and bade ma hadn't made him see light last night, he would have lost her. Forever.
His mind still didn't want to believe that the woman who had brought him up, had loved him so preciously- was capable of so many disgusting things.
Anika's hand on his back. "How much do you know Shivaay? After last night I was sure you wouldn't come after me she said with a confidence that told him the memory of was crisp, clear.
Shivaay tightened his hand around the window bars, knuckles white, his rage seeking an outlet. He took several deep breaths and then he told her everything.
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Making quick work of the distance between the lounge and his room, Shivaay pushed open the door and walked forward with legs gone suddenly weak.
He made it halfway across the room before his shaky legs gave way and he fell to the ground. He welcomed the pain that shot through his body from the fall, because pain was the only companion he had right now.
He felt suffocated as he thought about what had just happened. Betrayal a sharp piercing ache in his chest. And he let out a soft chuckle at the irony.
Hadn't he once said that she caused his heart to ache? Now he wondered if he'd ever stop feeling this content pulsing pain.
He had wanted to give her the happiness she deserved, the happiness she always had been afraid to feel. He had been more than ecstatic that their relationship was moving forward.
She finally had the rights to him, to his heart and love, he wanted to surprise her with a proper wedding, one where she would take the phera's with him happily and on her own will.
He planned give her his heart after that, give her the words she had challenged him to say.
So many plans, so many plans he had made for her. For them. For their future. And now?
All he was left with was a broken family, a broken marriage and- A broken heart, he thought and once more he felt that clawing ache in his chest.
This time, not out of anger or hurt. But out of fear.
Fear because despite the immense amount of betrayal he was feeling, despite feeling anger at what she had done to his brother and family...He still loves her.
Would he be able to live without her? Now that her very essence and thoughts were buried so deep within his heard and mind, would he be able to let her go?
His heart clenched with fear at the thought of life without her. "Why God?!"
"Shivaay" Tentative hands ran over his bent down head and then a soft flutter before gentle arms pulled him into a hug. "Shh. It's ok. It's ok"
And Shivaay finally let his tears fall. He held onto Jhanvi as though she was a lifeline, his head buried in her shoulder not caring that he was wetting her clothes with his tears.
Her hands never stopped running over his head and back, her motherly affection and warmth slowly soothing his chilled bones.
"I've got you" She whispered in a soft broken voice and Shivaay knew she was crying too.
"Everything she said was true. You do know that right?"
Shivaay's head snapped up to look at the woman who was his other mother and he was met with red puffy eyes and tear stains on her face. "What?! You mean that whatever she did-"
"I'm not talking about tonight" Jhanvi said impatiently. "All these days when she spoke about your mother. Every accusation Anika had put forward, directly or indirectly, had been true. She was only speaking the truth"
"What are you saying?" Shivaay struggled to understand what was happening. "She just ruined my brothers life, our family and you're saying my mo-"
"She loves Omkara and Rudra just as much as you do. And she loves YOU An absolute statement. "Not everything is as it seems, Shivaay"
"Love? He forced himself to say that word. "You don't hurt the ones you love
"Sometimes you're forced to hurt the ones you love in order to protect them
"I don't understand
"She had given you so many hints this week Shivaay, these 3 days even more than usual and you've just been ignoring it" Black erased the brown of Jhanvi's eyes, a rare indication of strong emotion. "If Anika did what she did tonight, then it was only because she was forced into a situation where she had to do it!
Worry tore through his veins,he knew what Jhanvi was saying was true. And his head pounded as he started thinking about everything.
The possibility that maybe something was indeed wrong and the betrayal at her actions earlier on vying with each other
"Anika is not someone who is greedy for money. The only wealth she wants is that of affection and family Jhanvi said gently, her eye tired and sad. "She's pure Shivaay
"What about what she's done to Omkara. And what about her wanting to separate the family" Shivaay asked her and caught the minute change in his bade ma's expression.
"You're forgetting what I just said! She answered slightly exasperated.
"Mom. I've got this"
Shivaay turned to find his brother as the door, he rose and helped Jhanvi up.
"Please do something, because it seems like the business man in him has gone on holiday!" She snapped and Shivaay looked at her shocked.
"It sounds Omkara said once his mother left the room "like she's deliberately putting distance between the two of you. Did you apologise for blaming her with the Prinku and Ranveer matter??"
Shivaay frowned and he felt his head pounded at doing so. "Yes, I apologised. But that isn't-"
"How has she been behaving these past few days?" Omkara looked at his with eyes that seemed to look soul deep.
As confused as Shivaay was about this whole situation, he answered "She's been normal. Well as normal as-
"I want to take a video of you. So that I'll have memories"
"I might not be here tomorrow Shivaay"
Shivaay's blood went cold, as memories flashed in his mind. She had been giving him signs all this time and he had brushed it off. He thought of Jhanvi's words 'Sometimes you're forced to hurt the ones you love in order to protect them'
"What happened Shivaay?! Om shook Shivaay, voice urgent. "Shivaay!"
"S-Sh-Sh He couldn't get the words out. His body seemed frozen, even as his mind whisked through possible scenarios.
Omkara led Shivaay to the bed and pushed him into a sitting position on it. "If you don't tell me, I wont be able to help you, Shivaay". He sighed and said "I want to help Anika bhabi, so tell me"
Anika's name snapped Shivaay out of his frozen state. "Th-"
"BHAIYA!!!"
"Rudra?" Shivaay stared as his younger brother walked into the room. "What are you-"
Rudra waved a hand through the air and Shivaay was a taken aback by the dismissing his brother has just dealt. "Leave that bhaiya. Om, I can't do this anymore. We need to tell him"
Shivaay looked to Omkara who was shaking his head warningly. Shivaay turned to Rudra. "Tell me what?"
Rudra sighed, looked at Omkara and blinked his eyes once before he answered "Bhabi phoned me the other day crying"
"What?" Both Shivaay and Omkara said at once Shivaay's voice being a shout whereas Omkara's sounded thoughtful.
"Well she didn't exactly cry but I could tell that she had been cryi-...Wait!" Rudra was suddenly inches away from Shivaay's face. "Did you make her cry?"
Had Shivaay been a lesser man and had he not been Rudra's elder brother, he would have take a step back by the intimidating tone Rudra had used.
But Shivaay was not a lesser man nor would he take such attitude from his brother.
"It would do you good to remember that I am your elder brother! And after all that she has done tonight, you're still worried about her?"
"So Rudra, what did bhabi phone you for?" Omkara stepped in-between Shivaay and Rudra, nodding at Shivaay to let him handle things.
Why are they behaving so normal? As if the last 2 hours didn't happen? Shivaay thought to himself. Their behaviour was making him suspicious
"Huh? Oh, she wanted to watch some of the security footage on my laptop. So I gave her my password and instructions on how to get the footage she wanted"
Shivaay who had stepped back and was watching the exchange felt warning bells go off in his head. What would she want to watch the security footage for? He thought to himself
"I have an inkling to that" Omkara said and Shivaay realised he had spoken out loud. "Rudra do you remember which footage bhabi wanted to watch?"
"Yes. Evening of June 1st"
June 1st? The night that- Omkara's voice cut his thoughts and Shivaay focused on his brother who was looking at the ipad in his hand with a bone chilling murderous expression.
"Well, Shivaay it looks like Mr Oberoi isn't the only manipulative person in this house Omkara said, white lines bracketed his mouth. "You might not like this Shivaay"
Omkara turned the ipad so Shivaay could see the screen. The person on the screen impossible to miss. His mother. She had been the one who helped Ranveer. "Mom...She can't...She woul-"
"Bhaiya" Rudra's held Shivaay as he staggered back. "Bhaiya careful"
Shivaay shrugged out of Rudra's hold and looked at the ipad again. Pressing replay he watched as his mother stopped the door from closing.
Anika words rang is his ears 'Shivaay I only went to the back garden because I saw Pinky Aunty going there. I didn't leave the door open, I promise'
"Why did chote ma want Anika to be blamed?"
"Maybe because she doesn't like a Anika, Rudra. She always said that Anika was just a gold digger and that she wasn't worthy of Shivaay. No name, no blood, lineage "
"But O', chote ma was so happy when Anika bhabi's mother showed up. Despite the woman being a dancer, chote ma was happy that Anika's mother was here"
"Mmm"
Shivaay listened to their conversation with divided attention, half of it was on his brothers while the other half was on his mother. He couldn't make heads or tails of it all.
If Anika had been right about that one incident. Could she have been telling the truth about everything else? He asked himself, remembering Jhanvi's words again.
"How could I have brushed aside her behaviour. Even bade ma noticed that Anika was being strange. Infact looking back at what she she said to me, I have a feeling that she might have know ln what Anika was going to do"
He turned to his brothers when he got no reply and saw that they were now whispering to each other.
They looked up and Shivaay felt panic once again taking grip of his heart as he took in the tensed expressions on his brothers faces.
Warning bells sounded in his mind and he knew at once, that they too, like their mother, knew something he didn't.
"Bade ma knew what Anika was going to do?" He asked tentatively, gauging their reactions.
Rudra paled and the always calm Omkara gulped. That was all it took. He whispered in surprise "You also knew"
The ipad smashed to the floor and Shivaay felt a small bit of satisfaction at seeing the shattered pieces. Shattered pieces that represents my life, his mind laughed at the resemblance
"Shiv-"
"YOU KNEW WHAT SHE WAS GOING TO DO AND YOU DIDN'T THINK TO STOP HER. DIDN'T THINK TO TELL ME! DOES YOUR LOYALTY LIE ONLY WITH HER NOW?!"
"Bhaiya, please-" Rudra held Shivaay's arm but Shivaay shrugged it off and walked to the door.
Omkara was faster, he stood in front of Shivaay blocking the exit. "No! First listen to us. We have our reasons for not stopping her. Reasons which we cannot tell you"
Shivaay laughed. "It seems like tonight is a night for betrayal"
"Bhaiya don't be like this. Bhabi made us promise her" Rudra said as he came to stand next to Omkara, tears running down his cheeks.
"You can be angry with us later. But now we need to focus on bhabi" Om told Shivaay sternly and Shivaay nodded in defeat.
Anika. What have you done, he thought, God! What have I done.
"Bhaiya" Rudra tentative call brought Shivaay out of his daze.
"Ye-...Umpf"
Rudra was tangled around Shivaay in seconds and Shivaay barely maintained his balance.
"I'm sorry bhaiya. Everything that happened before took a toll on me, I didn't mean to-"
"Shh. I know" Shivaay brought his free hand up to run I over his brothers hair. "I know. Even I'm messed up. Probably more than you though"
"OBro hug without me? Not fair guys"
Shivaay laughed and pulled Omkara into the hug. "Woah. Since when have you become so affectionate?"
"Since he met Chulbul- Ouch" Rudra whined at Omkara who had whacked him on the head. "Fine, Gauri bhabi"
"You're not angry with us anymore?" Om asked
"I've decided to take a rain check on that. And because I know Rudra will end up crying if I stay angry at him"
"Hey! I'm a married man. I don't cry"
"Dumbell Oberoi. It's a fake marriage. Don't get too comfortable"
"Guys, this is getting uncomfortable"
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Chest a painful tightness, she broke the agonizing intimacy of the touching him and took what felt like her first clear breath in hours.
He didn't know everything. He doesn't know. He doesn't know, the words a song on repeat in her mind as she felt a overwhelming sense of relief.
Relief that was short lived as terror crept it's way back into her heart as she realised that he still didn't know about the illegitimacy. Pinky Aunty still had the gauntlet hanging over Shivaay's head.
When she glanced back at him, he was still looking out through the window, his anger an opaque shield. And she knew that this time when she left, she'd have to make sure he wouldn't find her.
"Is She whispered, wanting to make sure. "That all you know?
Shivaay went motionless, and she wanted to call back her words, stifle them as she'd done before, but she needed to know.
He turned to her, eyes of impenetrable green in that beautiful face, but his arm slipped around her waist, his palm warm on her lower back even through her top.
She went to him, because he was hers. And she knew in a while, she'd have to leave again. Because while Shivaay knew what his mother had done, was capable of- He didn't know what had actually caused Anika to leave.
Anika knew that keeping secrets was poisonous, but she would keep this one until she was sure it was the right time.
"I told Khanna to find out who put Nayantara's information in your file he said at last. "I know you said it was mo- that she brought Nayantara home and that she was also involved with Sahil's kidnapping. But I just want proof for when I call her out in front of the family tomorrow
Anika kept a vicious grip on her growing fear. "Shivaay. Tomorrow? No, no. Please
"Why? Why not tomorrow Anika? In fact tomorrow is not soon enough. His hand fisted on her back. "But until I get that email from Khanna, I can't do anything
Anika could feel his pain under all the anger coming off him in waves, she wished she could heal his pain. Wished she could make all this go away as if it were a bad dream.
"I can't be with you Shivaay she whispered, suddenly conscious of how tightly he was holding her.
She would do this for him. He would heal from the betrayal of his mother, but knowing he was illegitimate would leave him with wounds that maybe even time might not heal.
Everyone has to make sacrifices in love, she reminded herself.
And she loved Shivaay with a fierceness so strong, the force of it was terrifying.
It made her consider exactly how much she'd accept, how much she'd forgive, how much she'd sacrifice, how far she'd walk into the abyss for this man who had a claim on her so deep, reason had nothing to do with it.
"Let me go. Please she whispered, heart already twisting with the tumult of her emotions, because the idea of leaving him again caused panic.
His head snapped toward her. His eyes narrowed "Why? Are you afraid of her?
"I can't go back. You don't understand Anika whispered. If she went back, Pinky Aunty would tell Shivaay. She couldn't let that happen
"Then we stay here" An absolute statement, Shivaay being the stubborn man he was. "I also can't be in the same house as her"
She'd never felt so cherished, so wanted, but she allowed herself only a moment to revel in the joy of it. "No. Your family needs you.
Shivaay's hand intertwined with her left hand. "Family is built on the bonds of love. You're family. You come first. You always will
Tears burned at the backs of her eyes. "You are their heart, Shivaay.
Especially now, with Pinky Aunty's truth out, all hell was going to break loose. And for the Oberoi's to stand strong, they would need Shivaay.
"As you're mine. Reaching up to stroke the falling tears from her cheek, he released a breath. "I'm sorry about everything Anika. About last night, all the things I said to you. Everything that m- she's done-
"She loves you, Shivaay
"If she loved me, she wouldn't want to ruin my happiness, she wouldn't have made the person that holds my heart go away from me" He roared making Anika flinch and then he whispered in defeat. "You-and only you- hold my heart
Anika froze as she processed his words. "I-I-You can't. Please. You can't
She watched as his eyes turned dull, as his features turned into something grim. She pushed out of his and walked away, into her room. Anika finally let her tears fall.
You-and only you- hold my heart. You-and only you- hold my heart. You-and only you- hold my heart
"NO" Her strangled cry echoed through the empty room. She couldn't do this anymore, not at the cost of his love. The words she craved for, she finally had them, but...
But, can I be selfish? If I reveal everything to him, won't I be destroying him? For my happiness, can I destroy everything he stands for? She asked herself.
She had always dreamt of Shivaay expressing his love for her, never had she thought that when it happened, it would be in a situation where she's have to distance herself rather than get closer to him.
Life always snatched her happiness, and once again Anika was given proof that she didn't deserve happiness. She didn't deserve love.
Cricket
Anupamaa
