Tej, the weakest Oberoi? - Page 3

Originally posted by: YoonHiChala

I disagree. I think Jhanvi is the weakest Oberoi. Tej might be bitter, a hypocrite, spiteful, greedy & a lot of other things but I don't think he is selfish & weak. Though I am in no way condoning his actions, his constant need for his son Omkara to get the upper hand over Shivaay in business is demonstrative of the extent of his love for his son. And his disappointment in his son is justified in his own way because he has dedicated his whole life to this cause, for what he considers is for the betterment of his own son's future. I don't call that a selfish trait because parents can't be expected to have zero expectations from their offspring. I don't think it has anything to do with being envious of Shakti cuz he was always far more accomplished than Shakti.

So, I agree Tej is not weak and he loves Om(though I'm disappointed with Om.. He should have shown some care for Tej) but Tej is selfish - What is with this stupid jealousy and race to the top with Shivaay, wanting more money more shares, more power, having an affair.. Don't say he is doing all this to secure his family's future.. Kuch bhi!! Agar businessman of the year nahi hai toh Tej ke family ke future ko kuch na hoga.. He is selfish for sure...

And as you already know , I also don't agree that his disappointment in Om is justified because Om is an artist and not a businessman - On the other hand he should be Proud of Om that Om is ambitious and followed his dreams.. He can have expectations from Om but he has no right to demean his dreams 😡 I'm actually really PROUD of Om for not buckling down under his father's pressure.. I found an Om characteristic that I like 😊😆

And then she married him willingly. How could she not have known that there was no way on Earth that this man would let her be a working mother, then? I don't feel any sympathy for people who WILLINGLY accept situations despite being fully aware of the negative impacts that could result.
@underlined Speculation😛 😆 Maybe they never discussed it before marriage

As for Jahnvi raising 3 genuinely nice children, disagree again. Did she even have the time to raise any of them? She was too busy drowning herself in alcohol to forget her woes and cope with depression. A CLEAR demonstration of weakness. She is truly selfish that she gave precedence to her straining relationship with Tej & it's after effects rather than focus on her OWN kids. That is selfish-ness cuz the kids had to bear the negative effects of her failing marriage with Tej. When that should have never been the case.

Completely Agree.. Jhanvi is weak and selfish(but more on this later)

Such parents don't deserve any 'credit' at all, not even the slightest.

Finally, you are blaming both parents and not just Jhanvi 😆

I am not saying Tej had no fault in this, he obviously did. He also neglected his children cuz he was too busy setting up Oberoi empire. But again notice that's also BECAUSE of his kids, because he wanted to take no chance and ensure a bright future for his children. Is that such a crime?

Not a crime but if your personal life is failing, you need to delegate/de-prioritize your work life and prioritize your personal life that is your first responsibility

And the only reason he didn't allow Jhanvi to work is because of this, cuz he knew he would be too busy working to allow ample time to his children and he forced her to make the sacrifice. Again, I'm not saying women should always make the sacrifice and that Tej was right here

Glad you agree that this is wrong on soo many levels.. He had no right to 'NOT ALLOW' Jhanvi to work or 'FORCE' her to stay at home.. It should have been a mutual decision..

but see my main point, it's that if Jhanvi was a good parent she wouldn't have neglected her kids like this.

Yeah both were negligent

If your spouse physically/mentally abuses you, you don't let the repurcussions of that impact on your offspring. TejVi are TOTAL failures as parents.

Easy to say but unfortunately, might be difficult to implement if you have no support and you are mentally/emotionally weak

Care to explain how TejVj kids are 'genuinely' nice?😆 Only Rudra can be called that and I might credit this to Shivaay cuz he seems to have taken most care of him. Prinku and Om turned out to be weak just like their mom and who could blame them because kids only learn from what they see.

Again wrong to blame just Jhanvi.. Their personality was impacted by both parents and their messy relationship - their negligence, Jhanvi's drinking and Tej's dominating nature

Jhanvi by never reprimanding her kids for all this just encouraged them to continue like this. Maybe she never said anything cuz she either 1) Didn't notice or didn't care to notice cus she was too busy dealing with own problems or 2)Had no words to say cuz she herself was guilty of the same.

Jhanvi is weak but here is Option 3) Tried doing something, was never heard, was dominated, did not get any support from anyone, needed help and finally gave up 😭


Rudra himself is no outcome of exceptional parenting but he turned out best from TejVi's three kids. This maybe out of his own accord or cuz of spending most of his time with Shivaay bhaiyya

Agreed 😆


Sorry for the long essay and I hope I made some sense. No offence intended and I'd appreciate if no one moral policed me for my opinion, thanks.

Enjoyed the essay.. Made a lot of sense.. None taken and no moral policing from my end thanks 😆

Originally posted by: blackorwhite

So I had to respond to this essay... 😆 Kamzor kadi kaun!! 😉

So, I agree Tej is not weak and he loves Om(though I'm disappointed with Om.. He should have shown some care for Tej) but Tej is selfish - What is with this stupid jealousy and race to the top with Shivaay, wanting more money more shares, more power, having an affair.. Don't say he is doing all this to secure his family's future.. Kuch bhi!! Agar businessman of the year nahi hai toh Tej ke family ke future ko kuch na hoga.. He is selfish for sure...

Arre...but he wants to be ahead in business from Shivaay so that when time comes, Om can be the CEO of Oberoi Group at the end (and not Shivaay). Cuz the person with more shares & higher stock price has the bigger say in the company, i.e. gets to be CEO.

And as you already know , I also don't agree that his disappointment in Om is justified because Om is an artist and not a businessman - On the other hand he should be Proud of Om that Om is ambitious and followed his dreams.. He can have expectations from Om but he has no right to demean his dreams 😡 I'm actually really PROUD of Om for not buckling down under his father's pressure.. I found an Om characteristic that I like 😊😆

Yes, I know this.😛 I didn't justify Tej for demeaning Om, even I don't agree with that. But I think his disappointment is pretty justified.

And then she married him willingly. How could she not have known that there was no way on Earth that this man would let her be a working mother, then? I don't feel any sympathy for people who WILLINGLY accept situations despite being fully aware of the negative impacts that could result.
@underlined Speculation😛 😆 Maybe they never discussed it before marriage

You don't really need to discuss this to suss it out, Tej ka nature/demeanour dekh ke hi pata chal jata hai that he is a male chauvinist and would have issues with his wife working after marriage (especially after having children). I wonder how much Jhanvi really knew Tej if she actually believed that he would let her work.

As for Jahnvi raising 3 genuinely nice children, disagree again. Did she even have the time to raise any of them? She was too busy drowning herself in alcohol to forget her woes and cope with depression. A CLEAR demonstration of weakness. She is truly selfish that she gave precedence to her straining relationship with Tej & it's after effects rather than focus on her OWN kids. That is selfish-ness cuz the kids had to bear the negative effects of her failing marriage with Tej. When that should have never been the case.

Completely Agree.. Jhanvi is weak and selfish(but more on this later)

Such parents don't deserve any 'credit' at all, not even the slightest.

Finally, you are blaming both parents and not just Jhanvi 😆

Yah. 😛 It takes two to tango >>> SSO ka liner.😆

I am not saying Tej had no fault in this, he obviously did. He also neglected his children cuz he was too busy setting up Oberoi empire. But again notice that's also BECAUSE of his kids, because he wanted to take no chance and ensure a bright future for his children. Is that such a crime?

Not a crime but if your personal life is failing, you need to delegate/de-prioritize your work life and prioritize your personal life that is your first responsibility

Agreed. 😆 Such an irony, put in so much hard work in setting up Oberoi empire for kids and then neglected those kids at the same time.😛

And the only reason he didn't allow Jhanvi to work is because of this, cuz he knew he would be too busy working to allow ample time to his children and he forced her to make the sacrifice. Again, I'm not saying women should always make the sacrifice and that Tej was right here

Glad you agree that this is wrong on soo many levels.. He had no right to 'NOT ALLOW' Jhanvi to work or 'FORCE' her to stay at home.. It should have been a mutual decision..

He seems to have always had the upper hand in their relationship...I can sympathise a bit here with Jhanvi.😊

but see my main point, it's that if Jhanvi was a good parent she wouldn't have neglected her kids like this.

Yeah both were negligent

If your spouse physically/mentally abuses you, you don't let the repurcussions of that impact on your offspring. TejVi are TOTAL failures as parents.

Easy to say but unfortunately, might be difficult to implement if you have no support and you are mentally/emotionally weak

Touche.😆 Since I have no personal experience of this, maybe I don't really know how it feels to be in such a position either. Whole family has let down Jhanvi tbh, by not supporting her through this. Her kids were maybe too young...but what was Dadi doing?😕

Care to explain how TejVj kids are 'genuinely' nice?😆 Only Rudra can be called that and I might credit this to Shivaay cuz he seems to have taken most care of him. Prinku and Om turned out to be weak just like their mom and who could blame them because kids only learn from what they see.

Again wrong to blame just Jhanvi.. Their personality was impacted by both parents and their messy relationship - their negligence, Jhanvi's drinking and Tej's dominating nature

But see, I don't see flaws in Om or Prinku's personalities that match Tej ke flaws.😕 That's why blamed Jhanvi, because Om and Prinku seem to be really similar to her in more ways than one. Both are really vulnerable and highly emotional like her too. They share no similarities to Tej...Tej is ruthless, MEAN & overbearing. Unless you mean that their personality was impacted negatively by their parents negligence, I have already mentioned that.

What I meant here was that sometimes kids mimic their parents, this could be with the way they talk, their mannerisms, lifestyle, principles & defense mechanisms etc. Om seems to have completely REJECTED Tej in his entirety (that includes his complete belief system & his materialistic nature). So I don't understand how Om was influenced by Tej in the slightest. Yes, he was deeply impacted by his parents strained relationship and his dad's cheating ways. But after the accident on Prinku's birthday, he subconsciously mimicked Jhanvi ka coping mechanism, ESCAPISM. He started taking drugs and fell into depression. I hope I made some sense here, if not let me know. :)

Prinku has completely lost her confidence after that accident, and has hardened into a shell. She has adopted her mom's defense mechanism too.

Though it is NOT necessary that when kids turn out to be similar/replicas of their parents, it is always the parents' fault (sometimes people just turn out that way without an external role factoring in). But I am saying that this is normal and parents' don't always realise how much their every action can have an impact on their offspring.

See, even Shivaay seems to be really similar to his mom in a lot of ways (just as a contrast).

Jhanvi by never reprimanding her kids for all this just encouraged them to continue like this. Maybe she never said anything cuz she either 1) Didn't notice or didn't care to notice cus she was too busy dealing with own problems or 2)Had no words to say cuz she herself was guilty of the same.

Jhanvi is weak but here is Option 3) Tried doing something, was never heard, was dominated, did not get any support from anyone, needed help and finally gave up 😭

She is an ablaa naari in the true sense. But I never saw her reprimanding Om after taking drugs in the episodes we saw. So sadly I can't give her a benefit of doubt here, I am only making these assumptions on the Jhanvi we have seen on the show. She was too busy making excuses for Om & taking all blame upon herself, only Tej was reprimanding somewhat but not even to Om's face. And don't even mention Shivaay, him slapping himself with Om's hands and taking all the blame upon himself was super cringeworthy to watch. I bashed him then.😆

Rudra himself is no outcome of exceptional parenting but he turned out best from TejVi's three kids. This maybe out of his own accord or cuz of spending most of his time with Shivaay bhaiyya

Agreed 😆


Sorry for the long essay and I hope I made some sense. No offence intended and I'd appreciate if no one moral policed me for my opinion, thanks.

Enjoyed the essay.. Made a lot of sense.. None taken and no moral policing from my end thanks 😆

Thanks! I enjoyed replying to you too.😛

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If were talking about parenting, then special mention about Dadi must be made. Right from the start, I found jarring that she complains to Dadu's spirit that their children were big disappointments.

Originally posted by: AnnzSageflower7

If were talking about parenting, then special mention about Dadi must be made. Right from the start, I found jarring that she complains to Dadu's spirit that their children were big disappointments.

This led me to think that, since she is so proud of her grandkids, she may have had more hand in raising them. But they are dysfunctional too.

Let's just say, that the Oberoi kids are nicer because they had each other to depend on and be there for. But separately, each have complexes of their own.

Jhanvi is a very unhappy woman personally. Broken ambitions and loss of her identity as a working woman can do things to a person. If I (myself) had to quit my job and stay home I'd lose my mind.

Yes Dadi said that they should have made grandkids directly and not kids. Dafuqq. 🤪

Dadi is the worst parent on the show.😛 Have never seen Dadu to make a comment on his parenting skillz.

Oberoi kids are much more united, I think because both senior Oberoi marriages are failures & the family is dysfunctional, these kids ended up turning to each other as each other's support system.

Originally posted by: YoonHiChala

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Very well said agree with you.

Originally posted by: blackorwhite

Arre...but he wants to be ahead in business from Shivaay so that when time comes, Om can be the CEO of Oberoi Group at the end (and not Shivaay). Cuz the person with more shares & higher stock price has the bigger say in the company, i.e. gets to be CEO.

Huh.. Did he say that? Sorry mujhe episode phir dekhna hoga? According to me, he was simply jealous of his nephew and that I think is selfish 😆

No he didn't say it directly, but it was implied many times that he was insecure of Shivaay's success cuz his own sons are least interested in business & thus won't carry his legacy forward. He always compared Shivaay to his sons (especially Om). There was one dialogue I recall when OmRu went to jail that was particularly striking...He said "Shivaay went to Cambridge & my sons went to jail." 😆 First episode itself was the biggest clue. And later on after Om's drug episode too he compared Om with Shivaay. He was (and is going to be) always insecure of Shivaay for this reason. Nothing to do with his own success.😛

Yes, I know this.😛 I didn't justify Tej for demeaning Om, even I don't agree with that. But I think his disappointment is pretty justified.
Haha.. Let's just agree to disagree then.. A parent should be ready to accept their kids dream as their own and give up on their own if after trying for few times, they realize it is not going to work 😆 Dangal mein bhi 1 saal hi manga tha Mr. Phogat ne.. 😊

I'm not saying that parents shouldn't encourage their children to live their own dreams...but what I am saying is that I can understand the reason for Tej's frustration. When you work so hard to build what you consider a secure future for your kids and they reject it, it must be a tad heartbreaking. A relationship between a parent & child should be one of give & take (this applies to all relationships in life in mostly IMO). You can't expect the same person to make all the sacrifices, compromises & giving every time. And vice versa, you can't expect the same person to do all the taking every time. I don't know if it is just me, but I can't outright reject my parents like that...it might be old fashioned thinking on my part. But I find it a tad disrespectful.


Om can easily show a 'little' interest in business & still find ample time to be an artist, right? Just to make his father happy? Why must the parent always bury their dreams to give life to their child's dream? If one person does all the taking & the other person always keeps on giving(compromising), resentment brews & the relationship just falls apart. Being a little more considerate of people around you never hurts. I guess this applies to both Om & Tej.😛 But I see Tej as already having compromised a fair bit, by allowing Om's artist dreams to flourish even though he was never happy about it. Om in return should show (at least pretend to) interest in business to appease his father & still not give up on his own artist career. This is why I don't find Tej selfish...cuz if he was truly selfish he wouldn't have allowed his son's artistic dreams to ever take off.

He seems to have always had the upper hand in their relationship...I can sympathise a bit here with Jhanvi.😊

Yaay.. Finally I made you sympathize with Jhanvi.. Achievement unlocked 🥳🤣

Hurray! 😆

But see, I don't see flaws in Om or Prinku's personalities that match Tej ke flaws.😕

Yaar Prinku samjh nahi aati hai.. But here is my analysis on Om and Tej(some of these might be Oberoi traits) I have not done a PHD on Tej unlike you so I might be off 😆


OMG...you have given me a LONG list.😆 Good work! 👏 You are hellbent on making me dislike Tej. 🤣 Hmrph!! Let's see which ones I agree with.

• Both are stubborn AGREE
  
• Both are short-tempered and enjoy raising their handsAGREE😛
  
• Both are ambitious - different paths & goals but they are passionate about what they are doing/pursuing and will sacrifice anything for it and won't give it up even if they are FORCED ...😲 This is a good one! AGREE
  
• Both of them are selfish 😛 - Me before My Family - Tej does care about his family but he is selfish because he is having an affair even though he knows it affects his family and Om does love Ru and Jhanvi(don't know about Tej😭), but he is selfish as he is ready to leave them in a jiffy Hmm...this is an interesting one. See, I don't think Tej ever realised that having affair with Svet was affecting his family THAT much (by his family I mean his kids. I don't think he cared about Jhanvi). He was in denial. But remember that when he realised how severe the impacts were after Om's suicide attempt, he distanced himself from Svet and paid more attention to Om and his family. And again, indirectly because of Om he went back to her again.
  
• Both are emotionally weak and use escapism(this is not just Jhanvi's characteristic 😆) to shield this weakness - Tej was not strong emotional to handle a weak Jhanvi and that makes him emotionally weak as well and his affair is a form of escapism & Om ke drugs/suicide obviously I don't think he bothered to even care about Jhanvi, forget handling her.🤢 I bet he must have dismissed her alcoholism as a 'phase' that she'd get over soon. I think the affair is a form of rebellion, not escapism.😛 Rebellion against his own wife, who was probably spurning him cuz of her disappointment & heartbreak at being made to do something against her own will. Tej probably had the affair with Svet to remind Jhanvi that she is NOT the only 'option' in his life and it was his own twisted way to maintain their status quo, i.e. Jhanvi sticking to her subordinate position. He took advantage of her weak nature only by doing this cuz he knew she would never leave him. And he was also painfully aware that she loves him so she could never bring herself to leave him (and would be heartbroken if he ever left her). So by having the affair with Svet, he managed to shut her up & also make sure that she starts getting insecure and starts vying for his attention. This would also divert her mind from wanting to work. Here he killed two birds with one stone. Tej Singh Oberoi is such a TRUE meany.😳 Iss liye I was blaming Jhanvi so much, all this would have never happened if she actually bothered to stand up for herself.
  
• Both of not good listeners and think that raising their voice is making their point😆Hahaha. AGREE.
  
• Both have very strong personalities with rigid ideologies - "Sach hi mera jeevan hai" & "NKK" 😡 I dunno about strong personalities..but yes both are extremely rigid. AGREE
  
• Both of them enjoy their confrontations and taunting each other 🤣 Arre but how is this a flaw? 😆 Okay if this is a flaw, we found one more flaw for Annika the taunting specialist.😛
  
• Both give the same dhamki - "Mein ghar chodke jaa raha hai"😛 HAHAHA.😆 AGREE
  
• Both trouble Billu a lot 😭😆 AGREE.
  

So I disagree that Tej is selfish & weak. 😳😆 But agreed with everything else, more or less. I really liked the point about both of them being ambitious...others are all very basic flaws. Not anything striking...hahah. But you made me aware of a lot of their similarities that I didn't care to notice.

Drug addict case is different.. You cannot reprimand them because you are scared you will push them over the edge as you assume they are on the edge since they resorted to drugs.. You really can't scream or slap sense into such emotionally weak people.. But yes, they do need to take some strict action if they catch him in the act again like sending him back to rehab..

I know that. But actively making EXCUSES for them is no solution, it exacerbates the situation further too. By reprimanding, I didn't mean she should yell at him/slap him, but actually sit & talk to him and try and open him up a little about what his issues are...I have experience working with drug abusers & (usually) a lot of these people are just depressed. Simply by talking and taking an actual interest in his life would have done wonders. Disappointment can be expressed calmly too. If you don't actually let the person know that you are actually disappointed, they will never think twice before going back to drugs again. Again, showing disappointment is another sign showing that you care. Sometimes that's all these people need & want. Reassurance. Not excuses about different people reacting differently to certain situations and blah blah.🥱 Just because people react differently to different situations doesn't give anyone the license to just give up and just allow their child to ruin his life. This is not responsible parenting, at all.

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Originally posted by: YoonHiChala

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I don't feel that Tej is the weakest but I feel he is one of the weakest among them all. The reason being he is one of the few who trusts the people they know well. It's like once you have passes their 'trust screening tests' & you pass then they don't doubt on you anymore. Same goes to Shivaay. His deep belief in Tia is bcoz he has passed her through his screening once & she has passed it so why do it again.
I do believe that they lack the basic skills for business. They are extremely rude. They lack charm in their dealings.They need to have a sweet tongue. Exception is if Shivaay uses the charms he used on Anika while inviting her for breakfast then I understand. They might not have shown us this side of his or Tej on the show.
People change over time & success changes them. Whenever I see Tej, I feel he must be a humble person in the beginning but then his success must have gone to his head & he must have become this arrogant brute. His fear oflosing to someone else may be bcoz he must have simply never lost. If you lose atleast once, you will never fear failing again. Same goes for Shivaay but thankfully he has Anika to bring him down.
I do agree that the Oberoi women are far more intelligent than the men. Even Pinky I feel.
Now coming to Svetlana. I feel she is targeting the weak spots in the bond of Oberois. TejVi's relationship. TejOm's relationship, Rudra as a whole, Tej-Shivaay's relationship. I feel more than anything this is the relationship that will cause Oberois a heavy loss. Tej hates Shivaay & he doesn't work really hard to hide it. On the other hand Shivaay answers to it passively. He just makes efforts to do better.Getting more successful is his answer to his Uncle's hatred. If she could actually pit Shivaay against Tej, she can actually destroy them all together. Bcoz their businesses will surely collapse after that.
As for the rest of the family, Pinky will be the first to Sink, bcoz she is the one who trusts them. Rudra might give into the blackmail but he surely won't trust Romi. As for Om, he is giving into Svetlana's manipulation. She wants TejOm to fight & fighting they are. As for Janvi, she has given up, & I get it. She might not be quite hopeful about their relationship when Tej came back to her. Anika might be unthought part of equation for Nafaratbaaz but the girl acts silly sometimes & we have to agree she lacks tact. She can actually create problems for herself.
If only this family, sits in a room & talk together on each other's problems & follow each other's advices no one can really even think to attack them.

Most of your post I agree with👍🏼. And also i agree with Innika's post. And after reading that analysis part about Svetlana my only thought is... phail gaya raita