Chapter 24: Reality Check, Equations Changed and the Drawing of New Battle Lines
Shivvay and Annika sat for the longest time, with her just wrapped securely in his arms, while he spoke comforting words to her, begging her to please,please return back to him. Through the haze of her pain, strangely enough, Annika registered the anguish in his voice and his plea for her to return to him. It was as though he was the weak one who needed her strength to hold him together.
The struggle to fight or push him away had long since left her and she had ultimately resigned herself to the fact that he was 'her pain and her comfort' and there was no use hiding it from the man anymore. Fate had entwined their lives and souls together and she assumed the Creator probably had a very twisted sense of humor.
But that did not mean she had resigned herself to her fate, and also to the fact that he had, almost a month ago, taken control of it. Over the past month, she had taken back control of her life slowly and painfully and there was no way she was handing that back to him again.
A month ago, she had been foolish enough to trust Shivvay and had put her faith in the fact that their relationship had reached a level where, if not affection, there was at least basic respect between the two of them. But Shivvay had broken that trust and had wronged her after all that she had done for him and his family.
In the name of the same family, that she helped him protect, he had taken advantage of her when she had been the weakest and most vulnerable and forgiveness, for that act, was not going to come easy.
Earning back her trust was going to be even harder because as much as she loved him, yes loved him she openly admitted it herself now, it would not heal the wound of being humiliated and abused by the man she had held in such high esteem.Confessing ones sins had nothing to do with atoning for them. And Shivvay's atonement had just begun. If there was to be a future, whether marriage or friendship, they would have to put his dreadful actions of the past behind them first.
Annika's only comfort right now was that he had taken the first step of his own accord and that was what was crucial for her to start her healing within.
I had no idea how long I sat with Shivvay holding me securely in his embrace while rocking us back and forth more as a comfort to him than me.
I knew now, what a stuffed toy would have felt in little Shivvay's arms, if he ever had one as a comfort from his nightmares as a child. I was amused that through my pain I was trying to picture a little Shivvay clutching on to a teddy bear as brown as his 'Americano' and rocking back and forth on his bed muttering words of comfort to himself.
Did Pinky aunty ever cuddle or sooth his nightmares, I wondered or did Shivvay never feel confident enough to share them with her. The whole image of the 'perfect golden child' must have been quite a burden for his little shoulders to carry as a little boy.
No wonder he turned out like this, arrogant, distant and so full of himself.
He was hugging on to me as though I was going to somehow vanish into thin air if he did not hold on to me tight enough. I realized that this was the first time he had seen me like this, barring the night I had suffered the nightmare after my fever. But that night I probably had not 'lost it', as they say, as badly as I had done today.
That night I had been delirious with fever while today I had started the conversation in complete control of my senses.
I realized that my reaction and break down must have come as a huge shock to the man who had never seen me this vulnerable before, even going through what I went through seeing the car blow up in front of me on the wedding day. I was hysterical, that day, at the thought of losing my brother, my only relation in the whole wide world, but I had still kept my head and not lost it completely.
Only Sahil, my little tiger, had ever seen me this weak and vulnerable but he was used to it by now and had learned to handle the situation. But in Shivvay's case, this was all a new side to who I was and he was probably shaking from the experience of seeing the always strong Annika shatter and crumble before his eyes.
I was actually a little ashamed that he had seen a part of me I had kept hidden from the world for years now. Shivvay had peered into a corner of my life that had been a well-guarded secret till now and I realized that the equations had changed drastically today.
There would be no going back now from all that we had experienced just in this one evening. All I could do now was lay down new rules and map the future from here on.
"Shivvay", I whispered against his neck as I felt him go still and tighten his hold further.
"Let go Shivvay I need to breathe and I can't do that with you holding me so tight", I complained, my voice muffled against his shoulder.
He loosened his hold a little and looked down at my face, his own face filled with pain and worry.
"You h..h..hate me don't you??!!", he spoke in a voice that cracked a little as his patent stutter returned. "I've ... I've ...lost you forever haven't I ??!!", he continued in the same voice while he shut his eyes to hide the pain I saw in them.
"I have hated you for almost a month now Shivvay", I admitted in a matter-of-fact voice and continued, "did you realize that only today??!!"
He opened his eyes still filled with a little pain and replied, "I know you did Annika but after witnessing today, how deep an impact my actions had made on you, I can only begin to imagine the level of hatred and disgust you feel for me .Until this moment I had not felt the weight of my actions and the depth of my atonement needed for them. If the fear of losing you had not outweighed the long and difficult journey of wining your affection back, I would have given up even before I started, and would have considered the entire effort futile."
His hold tightened a little as if to make a point while he announced in a firm voice, "Just to make myself clear Annika, no matter what I have to do or go through, I am not giving you up without a fight worthy of Shivvay Singh Oberoi. I may have forced you to marry me against your will but I promise you that by the time I am done with my penance, you will accept me back in your life of your own free will, no conditions or strings attached."
And with that he landed a firm kiss on my forehead as though sealing the promise he had just made to me.
I sighed tiredly and replied, "You do not even know me Shivvay and what little you know of me is what I have let you see. How can you be sure that you will want me after I reveal all of my past and my present to you?"
Shivvay gave a sharp look under furrowed brows and replied, "If you are trying to scare me off you are not succeeding at all. You know how I get when I am challenged."
I extracted myself gently from his arms, stood up straightening my appearance and tidying myself, while answering, "I am not scaring anyone off, I am just stating the facts and I think you need a serious reality check Mr. Oberoi"
I stood in front of him, crossed my arms, looked at him dead in the eyes and continued in a very serious tone, "Have you conveniently forgotten that you have promised to marry Ms. Tia Kapoor once I divorce you or is there something I have missed somehow?" I finished with a raised eyebrow.
I was shocked to see Shivvay practically squirming under my gaze and I was incensed that there was more that I was going to find out this evening.
My eyes widened as it slowly dawned on me that Shivvay may have found out the truth about Tia being married after all and that is why he was suddenly so comfortable with his marital status to me. The filthy scheming low life had me play right into his hands!!!!
"You found out the truth about Tia and that is why the sudden change in attitude towards me. I am your runner up since Ms. Universe is now out of the competition. Isn't that so Mr. Oberoi???!!!", I rasped angrily through clenched teeth trying very hard to control my temper.
I was livid at how easy I had been to seduce and how he must be laughing at my eagerness to fall into his arms.
"Annika!! Please.. please ... llisten to mmee", he whispered softly, stuttering in a pleading voice as his eyes started turning into a deep blue and his face softened. As he stretched out his hand and started to reach out to me, I quickly stepped back to avoid being caught in his trap again.
"Oh! No! You don't Mr. Oberoi", I snapped angrily at him, furious at myself for being made a fool of once more.
I stood as far from him as possible and continued in a stern voice, "I am going to take a seat here till I have my questions answered. I expect you to stay where you are and make no move to come close to me. When I am done asking my questions and you are done answering them I am going home. I think I have learned more than I bargained for on my first day with you and am still trying to process most of it right now. Have I made myself clear Mr. Oberoi??" I finished in a sharp voice as I took the chair at my tiny desk and crossed my arms.
Shivvay shook his head in agreement and with apparent worry etched on his face asked in an anxious voice, "Home as in Oberoi mansion, right??!"
I smiled a sick sweet smile as I answered in a silky tone filled with sarcasm, "You are not going to get rid of me that easy Mr. Oberoi, rest assured. In fact I think I am going to prolong your agony of being married to me, now that it seems you have no other commitments to honor in immediate future. You are going to be begging for a divorce by the end of 6 months because I will be married to you but in name only and within the four walls of your Oberoi Mansion. Out here I am Ms. Annika to the world and I am not answerable to you or anyone else for any of my actions."
I heard a sharp intake of breath at my last statement and the blue eyes suddenly turned to a flint grey as he clenched his jaw and threatened in a low voice, "Careful Annika!!! I will keep my promise to give you space and time to decide how you would like to continue our marital relationship from here on but remember I don't share very well, especially when it comes to my prized possessions. I have never claimed to play or fight fair to get what I want and what I want now is you. I will have no qualms about using foul or unfair means if you face me with a contender for your affections. Trust me - I am no gentleman when it comes to getting what I really desire !"
I looked at my husband closely and knew without a shred of doubt that he would truly carry out his threat. I looked down at my hands to avoid his burning gaze and calm my erratic pulse.
This man was so intimidating that I could feel his raw power even with me sitting across the room from him. Being the object of Mr. Shivvay Singh Oberoi's sole obsession and hearts desire was turning out to be a heady experience for a simple uncomplicated girl like me.
I forced my mind to focus away from the man who was proving to be hard to resist, even with him doing absolutely nothing to attract me and back to what I wanted from him, the answers to my many questions.
I took a deep breath, looked up at Shivvay and shrugged my shoulders slightly in pretense to make light of what he said and questioned in a cool calm voice, "About Daksh. How did you know that his claim about what I did was untrue?"
Shivvay narrowed his eyes at my nonchalance to what he had threatened a few seconds ago and replied in his controlled low baritone voice, "It was when Saumya mentioned about you sleeping with her in Daksh's room, the night she thought she had seen an intruder in her room. She said Daksh had slept in her room while you both had slept in his. That was when I realized that the claim about you taking 15 lacs would have been a ploy on his part as well to defame you in my eyes."
I bristled at the answer but knew that Shivvay was being honest because that is what I had expected him to be with me from now on.
I decided to bait him on purpose and questioned in a mocking voice, "Do you not want to know about the 15 Lacs though? Where I got it from?"
Shivvay's expression did not change to anger at my mocking tone and I knew, to my frustration, that he had not risen to my bait. Instead he smiled roguishly as he leaned back on the couch, crossed his ankle over one knee, clasped his hands behind his head and sat in a relaxed pose, as he replied in a lightly teasing tone, "Next question Annika..."
I felt my temper rise at his casual reply but kept a lid on it as I matched his mocking tone and continued, "Ms. Tia Kapoor... tell me more."
I heard from Shivvay how he had asked Rajveer to check the CCTV footage to figure out if the intruder had been Daksh.
He had been worried for my safety because of my 5 am walks and had asked Rajveer to personally follow me to the 'Secret Garden' with two armed security men from tomorrow. He told me that there would be no compromise when it came to that and I would have to learn to live with their presence hovering around me till ACP Randhawa had found enough evidence to charge Daksh.
Then he laughed at how shocked he and OmRu were seeing Tia meeting and greeting her visitor as they had never seen her that passionate before. She had always been nothing but politely formal with Shivvay for all the time that they were engaged.
The boys had been worried after they had watched the footage that he would be devastated by what he had witnessed but were happy to find out that he actually had tears of relief running down his face.
Relief that now he was no longer bound by his promise to Tia and was free to follow what his heart truly desired.
He slowly unclasped his hands from behind his head, uncrossed his ankle and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees as he completed the last part, as if closing the distance between us by that simple action to make his point to me. His eyes zeroed in on my lips as his own curved into a smug smile in remembrance of what we had shared earlier.
I ignored the heat rising to my cheeks and erratically beating heart at his look and decided to distract him by asking him about proof of Daksh being the stalker.
I was stunned to see his sudden transformation from a relaxed charming Shivvay to a tensed and tightly coiled one. I saw him clench his fists as if to control his thoughts and his face turned hard. He frightened me even though I knew his anger was not directed at me.
He looked away from me, stood up abruptly and turned his back to me replying in a voice tight with emotion, "Enough of the 'question session' for today Annika. You must be tired after all that has happened this evening. We will leave that for another day. Now go home and rest."
And before I could answer he had whipped out his phone, turned around and walked past me clicking the lever that slid the wall panel open and walked out. I heard him ask Khanna to bring the car around the front to accompany me home safely and I knew, from past experience, that there would be no more discussion today with Mr. Oberoi.
I was puzzled at Shivvay's behavior at evading the question. What proof had Shivvay found about Daksh that was so difficult to talk about?? Maybe OmRu would know since they were with him watching the CCTV footage. I would ask them once I got home. Humph! Who needed 'Sadu Singh Oberoi' for all the answers when I had OmRu.
As I picked my bag and walked out towards the office door to walk out I found Shivvay's hand at my back. I turned around to look up at his face and surprisingly found it stamped with pain.
Something inside me somehow felt compelled to sooth away that pain and make it better. I never could see Shivvay either upset or worried because it always bothered me too much.
As I involuntarily raised my hand to his cheek to comfort him I found him turn his head to bury his face in my palm. I felt my heart constrict at how emotional he had become all of a sudden and whispered in alarm, "What is it Shivvay??!! What is bothering you??!!"
He just shook his head in negation, his face still in my hand. Then he raised his head from my hand, took it in his and held it to his heart saying earnestly, "Promise me, that no matter how much you hate me right now, till Daksh is no longer a threat to you will stay with me at the Oberoi Mansion."
I pressed my palm to his heart and said with as much sincerity as I could muster, "I promise Shivvay."
Then he smiled as he raised my palm to his lips, kissed it and said, "Now let's get you home before Khanna comes up and takes another video of us both romancing in my office," and with that we started to make our way downstairs through the, now almost empty, office building.
As I walked beside Shivvay I smiled at the thought of how Khanna loved making videos of us when we were least aware of it. I was surprised that the man had not been fired by Shivvay already.
Chapter 25 - Page 79
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Edited by asya34 - 8 years ago
Channel V Dil Dosti Dance
Arjun
