A letter to Gul

Dt:22 November 2016

Dear Gul,

Sub: The sheer blindness that you and the CV's have recently been prey to.

I thought you were an expert at creating jodi's that bring magic on screen. It's like you just blend in the right characters with the right emotions and voila you have the perfect onscreen couple. Then why now, in Ishqbaaz are you so blind? I mean it's right there for the whole world to see! Even someone as dense as me who wouldn't see two people as a couple even if they were making out butt naked in front of me can see what a beautiful couple these two make. Then why, I humbly ask, cant you? You, who gave us the famous-Maan and Geet, Azad and Zoya and Arnav and Khushi, how you of all people, may I ask, not see this!!!??

From what he's been blabbering on and on from the first day he got here, all he wants to do is make the current object of his obsession really happy. He wants to be the only reason for her happiness. He wants to take care of her and spend the rest of his life making her happy. And then a lot more on happiness, mentions love once or twice back to happiness and then more about happiness and basically to conclude happiness.

And she-she wants to becomes sampoorna-complete with the object of her obsession. She wants them to be linked together, that by becoming one, they complete each other thereby attaining the pinnacle of their powers. All this poor girl desires is the world to take them their name in unison(that's not too much for a girl to ask ..!!)

Well so basically coming to my point, he wants to make the apple of his eye or should I say the ponytail to his eye happy and she wants to become sampoorna with hers. Well Gul, to say I am disappointed that you have not seen how lovely a couple these two make would be an understatement. Why put them together and you (not to mention a bunch of very frustrated viewers) get -sampoorna happiness(complete happiness).If I might say so myself, him all over that picture of that Champa riding, paani throwing girl (that one really did give me michmichis) is just utterly ridiculous. Why that paani throwing girls' picture I ask, when in her case you have it in all sizes, shapes and poses complete with framework and all? I mean he can have a gala time fawning over it running his hands up and down and the man get a variety of options too (adhering strictly to the principles of consumerism).He gets to drool all over her pictures and she is happy as he is showing her his ultimate devotion. Well this is a clear case of him making her happy. Now she wants them to sleep on the bed together for um achieving sampoorn-ess (huh?) and from, if I may, deduce from whatever he was blabbering today about taking that pani throwing girl(what is it with him and the paani throwing girl anyways, not like she ever threw any on him! That should be his first indication by the way, that they don't belong together.) being in his arms, on his bed and in his room(again the michmichi feels) he clearly would be up for the lets sleep on the bed together to achieve sampoor-ness idea!!So here we have him and her achieving sampoor-ness thereby making her happy and thereby him getting what he wants-her happiness. Might I also take this opportunity to say that while that paani throwing girl has always managed to throw only a glass of water (and in one exceptional case a bucket) which has by the way never been aimed at his direction she on the other hand openly welcomes one with a bathtub which might I add includes her and is completed with roses sprinkled on top. Come on what more could a guy ask for!!!??Not only does he get to be completely submerged in water (which is more than what I can say for that paani throwing girl) she gets to do both his and her snaan by her bakt jana which um I'm sure is a process in achieving sampoorness. Now these, my dear Gul, are just the tip of the ice burg examples of how amazing a couple these two would make. I'm sure that it was just an oversight on your part and that now that it has been brought to your kind attention, you would certainly look into the matter thereby leaving that Mr. Prince William can go to hell and take his middle class wife with him while I follow paani throwing girl with my puppy dog eyes and not say a word and Ms.Paani throwing girl herself (the hell) alone. Oh and before I forget he and she after all the sleeping in the bed and snaaning and achieving sampoorness can be known for janam janam as ROKSH (considering all the michmichi feelings I had throughout todays episode and the way these two make me feel.)

Ever yours

A frustrated viewer who wishes murder was legal