One Shot:Singh Is King (A Comedy with Ishqbaaz & IPKKND) Completed - Page 2

Originally posted by: napstermonster

After today's absolutely infuriating, heartbreaking episode, I thought we all could do with a little humor! So in honor of Pritzz, who suggested that we writers try to make everyone feel a little better by posting funny stories, I thought I would bring in Gul's OTHER famous, rich Singh Parivaar. Also-- give Shivaay a reminder that there worse things than marrying a girl without a name--how about if she married someone else, Duffer?! So here it is--Ishqbaaz meets Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon, monster eshstyle! Enjoy! 😆

SINGH IS KING

"Shivaay...?" Mallika had looked for him everywhere, and this was her last stop. The darkened room looked empty at first, but then a flash of white near the window revealed to her what the silence of the room did not-- that he was still in here. Alone, but still here.

"Shivaay, they are all waiting for you downstairs. Anika refuses to start if you are not there. You are the person who helped her find her family after all! If you had not let her get involved unnecessarily in the murder case, her face would not have been plastered everywhere. And because of you, the Singh Raizada family found their long lost daughter! And they have come here, all the way from Luknow, so please come down. Your family is having a hard time with her new family. Her new chachi is making Janvi Aunty upset. Actually, Janvi Aunty is very drunk. She is a die-hard Shivika shipper, and this twist has been hard for her. Every time Manorama Chachi says "Hello Hi Bye Bye" Janvi Aunty doesn't know if someone is coming in or going out of the Mansion. She is mega confused.

I know you weren't there to meet Anika's new family, but don't be worried. She will feel right at home in her new parivaar. Her Mama-ji is as silent as Shakti Uncle, her new Nani-ji is as cool as your old Dadi-ji. Her new older sister Anjali and Sahil is now best friends with --they both have leg issues and they are both their siblings' main reason for living.

Honestly, even Anika's young Bhabi is a sweetheart. She is very cheerful, just like Anika, actually. Could be twins, yaar. But your Dadi is worried that if the Raizadas are here for much longer, Khushi will fall into the pool and drown. Apparently she is very clumsy, and her husband is always carrying her around. Also, those twi have some problem-- Rudra has caught them making out at your poolside four times now. Whenever they see an indoor pool, Akash tells me that uss dono ko kuch kuch hota hai. Very embarrassing. But if you don't come, Anika, cant start the rasams. They want her to go back with them since after this her brother might have to leave for 7/8/9/11/21/44 days to an unspecified location."

There was no answer from the silent man staring outside his darkened window, his hands clenched into fists. Mallika approached Shivaay as he stared moodily at the moon, and stood just a few feet away. "Shivaay, come on, you have to come downstairs. Look, Anika might not have her parents anymore, but she has a very loving older brother, so Anika will be fine. And let me tell you, that handsome brother of hers will come up to get you if you don't come downstairs. He will have no problem, he really likes climbing up and down stairs, he told me that is his favorite exercise. He already told Omkara he doesn't like you, you dress better than him. He owns a fashion empire, so he's a little embarrassed by how much better your metro-sexual clothing style is from his boring suits."

Shivaay dramatically turned to face her, his kanji aakhen glittering in the dark. "I don't like that Arnav Singh Raizada either" gritted Shivaay. "Pata nahi, but he reminds me of someone I know. I just cant decide WHO. But he just seems very unnecessarily rude, proud and aggressive to me. And you know, he mumbles his dialogues a lot, and never completes his sentences. I mean, what the hell is "What the...??" What the... WHAT? Why cant he say "Fhat the Wuck", like normal people? And what is WITH his insistence on taking Anika away? She is his long lost sister, but who is he to decide to get her married off like this? Doesn't he know I was going to propose to Anika in another 5000 episodes? I was planning a totally hatke never before seen, hate marriage before love confession, yaar.."

Mallika was really irritated by now.

"Honestly, Shivaay, after everything, you owe Anika. And you cannot expect people like the Raizadas to just carry off their long lost daughter without doing every rasam and puja, fast and mannat known to indian tv serials. Please come down, so Anika can start the roka, after which we will have at least 15 days of random ceremonies that normal people don't do in 15 years."

"I hate the guy she has decided to marry, Mallika" Shivaay whispered, in agony. "I hate him, I even hate his stupid name. I mean, who in this day and age is named after a God? Its so uncool! And that too, he's called Nand Kishore? I mean, Fhat the Wuck, Anika? I hate his spiky hair, his stupid words, his broken Hindi, his horrible accent, I hate his very being. And dimples? Seriously? I hate him..how can I watch while these new found family members marry my Anika to that idiot?"

Mallika was getting angry. On top of having to deal with Shivaay, she was facing a serious problem of her own. For some reason, she was really attracted to that handsome Arnav Singh Raizada. She felt Tanhaiyaan whenever she saw his gorgeous chocolate eyes, she longed to wear a white dress and run in slow motion towards him. It was Strange! Shameful! Confusing! They were both married to other people! Mallika didn't know why she felt like this. She just wanted this Anika-NK marriage over with so she could go home to Siddharth Vikram Rana, and live in peace.

So she now turned towards Shivaay's wardrobe and started to find him something dashing to wear. She said, angrily: "Shivaay, enough. Why are you trying to upset things? Have you forgotten how supportive and kind NK was to Anika, while you were being a schizophrenic weirdo? He was so nice to her while you were constantly bugging her about her low class, aukaat, and calling her a gold digger? And then you were showing up at her house at night, to grab her arms and hands, like she was public property? Or fiddling with her fringe like you are her hair-dresser?

NK is a better guy than you. He was buying her bangles and being her friend, while you were playing around with Anika's feelings, without committing to her. Think, Shivaay--- How many times you did you pull that poor girl close to you, only to dash her hopes? Apparently he is very used to handling girls coming out from such confused "Yeh ho kya raha hai? Farak parta hai ya nahi parta?" type of relationships. He will be fine,bande iss maamle mai experienced hai."

As Shivaay got ready, he had one last objection. Tonight, Anika Singh Raizada was leaving him, forever. She was getting married to that Nand Kishore, the Raizada cousin who had arrived from Australia five years ago on vacation, and then never returned home, for some reason. Shivaay felt devastating grief, but he couldn't do anything about his feelings. He knew, that it was too late to get the girl. He had many chances when she was a single, independent, beautiful, smart woman, constantly falling into his arms, sharing eye-sax while working in his house. But now that she had found her family, she was off limits to him. No brother or family member will tolerate seeing their loved girl treated the way he had treated Anika.

Shivaay dressed, as he cursed himself. He should have married her when she was all alone, and didn't have any better options. Now, Arnav Singh Raizada, his wife Khushi and their entire family apparently recognized him as the "Laad Governer" type, (whatever that meant). They were 100% sure he was not the kind of guy to make their newest family member happy. They had asked Anika to marry NK, and she was tired of Shivaay's bullshit, and had agreed. NK was cute, and she was sick of being a wedding planner for a wedding that had not taken place for months. So she was now using the preparations she had spent all that time and energy on, for herself.

As he walked down the stairs to the grand celebration with Mallika next to him, Shivaay had one final question "Mallika, I am giving Anika up, even though I didn't have to. Ab tragic vannyas track hoga. But--how will I know if Anika will be happy with NK?"

Impatient to get down and ghoor her gorgeous new ASR before she had to return home to her current SVR, Mallika reminded her old SSO -- "Come on, Shivaay! Aren't you the one always talking about LANGUAGE? You know that Anika speaks badly broken English, and Nand Kishore can barely speak one decent Hindi sentence!! It's a match made in heaven!! They will barely understand each other, and what else do they need for a happy marriage?

Yeh shadi bhi takkar ka hai, by God! Ab chalo!"

... finito..