Ishqbaaz FF: Consequences. Chapter 15 on Page 39 (02/08/17) - Page 24

nd tnx 4 including my eid ka chand,acp😭😳 😃 missing dat guy so very much😭

i knw u r busy wid ur xam bt plz update soonish😭 i cant wait 2 c hw shiv 'll react 2 anikara😆

tnx 4 da pm😃

For the past few days all he had done was sit in a chair by his pool, wrapped in a blanket as he stared at the eery stillness of the water.

Memories. Chasing Om around it as children until finally one of them caught the other and pushed them into it, always jumping in straight afterwards because that's what brothers did. Well, until Rudra was old enough to swim and then he and Om would just team up to throw him in together.

It had been a place special to them all. Not only did they have fun times, but Shivaay could not count how many times he and his brothers had gathered by the poolside and just talked. Shivaay had always thought of himself as a stoic man, a man who didn't really have much to say and who didn't particularly want to discuss his feelings. A man's man.

But he wasn't.

Over the past two years he had discovered that not only did he want to talk, he needed to. He had so much to say and nobody to say it to. He had become the recluse he had believed he was, unable to put the burden of his misery on Rudra's shoulders. Rudra was too young, too immature. Could never handle his darkness the way Omkara could.

And those memories, those happy warm and comfortable memories with his brothers fought with newer ones which elicited an entirely different set of feelings. Memories of striding through the water and pulling Anika to him, threatening her with words he knew he would never follow through with. Fighting with her, talking with her, eating with her, dancing with her, sleeping beside her, holding her close.

Letting himself teeter on the edge of such a tempting oblivion.

But he had not fallen. Had not surrendered to oblivion. He had fought with himself, silenced his heart and done his duty.

And it had all come to naught.

He had lost Omkara. He had lost Anika.

And they had found each other.

Shivaay felt... he didn't know what he felt. Did he have any right to feel betrayed? He didn't think so. Not really. He rejected Anika, did nothing to bring Omkara home. That they had helped each other? Why should that have sent him hurtling even further down a pit of despair he was certain he had already hit the bottom of long ago.

He was hurt, but he wasn't sure if he should be.

Had he expected Anika to just wait for him? No. No. But he certainly had not expected her to move on and fall in love with his brother. His Om.

And Om? Om knew. Om knew what Shivaay felt for Anika. How could he have gone after his Anika and taken her away?

'No. No Shivaay. You pushed Anika away. Om didn't take anything from you. You threw it away. You broke it. Omkara found it and fixed it.' He cursed himself for what seemed to be the thousandth time. He knew this was all his fault. Everything.

Omkara.

Shivaay closed his eyes and felt a stray tear slip through the closed lids and scratch a trail down his cheek.

Omkara had never seen the world the way Shivaay had. He saw the shades of grey and he ran out and grabbed whatever he could. Craved every experience and wanted to live a life he would never come to regret.

Shivaay himself had made sure that nothing stifled or prevented this side of Omkara's nature. It was why he had not searched for Omkara after he left, believing his brother would come back to him in his own time.

Of course he would.

It was Omkara.

Had Omkara fallen in love with Anika while Shivaay himself had been falling for her? No. Certainly not. No, Shivaay reasoned, Omkara had cared for Anika as a friend. Cared for her because he saw that Shivaay cared for her. He had cared for her because it was his nature to care. Omkara had cared for Anika because he saw straight through to the pure heart and the golden soul within, things Shivaay himself had seen and ignored because as exquisite a package as she may have been, the label attached to her was not good enough for everyone else.

What did he care about labels now? Why had her Naam, her Khoon, her Khandaan once seemed so important to him? Why had her lack of them caused him to overlook everything else? Why had it mattered so much to him and not at all to his brother? Omkara, as much a part of Shivaay as Shivaay's own soul was, had been able to easily push aside the same upbringing and values that had been drilled into Shivaay so firmly that they had destroyed his life.

Shivaay doubted whether those values had ever even so much as sown a seed in Omkara's mind.

Anika's naam was what she made of it. It stood for her strength, her independence, her beauty which ran as deep as her khoon. When Shivaay bled, didn't he bleed the same red as her? Had marrying a woman as blue-blooded as himself made either of them happy? Had the boost to their businesses been worth the lifetime of misery the two of them had endured within their pathetically short sham of a marriage? Had the wedding made either of their khandaans happy? Would the union even be remembered in the grand history of either the Oberoi or Kapoor Khandaans?

No. No. No. No. No.

But Shivaay had listened to his head and not his heart and he had made his choice.

Anika had not wanted his name and she had not wanted his money. She had wanted him. As he was and for what he was. She had seen in him the same potential for joy that he had seen in her.

Shivaay knew it now, realised that it had been as clear as the water in front of him, but he had let his prejudices cloud his vision.

He had denied that someone like that could exist and that he could possibly love her.

But he had.

He had loved Anika so much that it hurt. Had loved the good he saw in her and the good she had made him believe in. She had blown through his life with her charm and her laughter and her challenges and her love... Anika had changed the way he saw the world.

But even she had not been able to change the way he lived in it.

Shivaay's heart kicked in his chest.

He felt a spark run down his arms and straight to his fingertips which tingled for a moment and then felt numb.

He couldn't breathe. His heart was racing.

He hadn't... he hadn't felt this in years.

Couldn't possibly be feeling it now.

No.

No. No. No.

Everything he knew told him that this wasn't possible.

But Shivaay's world had changed.

He no longer ignored his heart in favour of his mind.

And his heart? It knew.

She was home.

Chapter Fourteen- Omkara & Shivaay

please no sacrifice or death of one bro drama

i want annikara to stay ...he deserves her more

amazing update dear

i loved it very much

plzzz do continue soon

Just when I had decided to not comment or post much till my exams got over, you write this! My heart literally races with your story telling!! I have enough of it already with the unpredictacble story telling in the show and now you are keeping me on the edge as well!! Not fair!! (And I am sorry, that I already broke my promise of not cribbing!)

It was beautiful, the way you wrote about his memories by the pool, both with Om and Ani. Somehow, I want to strangle him for his past mistakes and hug him because I feel so bad for him at the same time!! And his heart still beats for her and he feels her presence, after all this time...(I am reminded of Severus Snape)

And the update, Shivaay, I can't even imagine the pain. I can't bring myself to stand in his place and look at things around. It's too painful, agonizing, too too heart breaking. You have brought me at crossroads. Even though I know that I have no right to ask you this being a reader and that you have all the right to choose any course of the story I must ask you this. Please please please don't kill one of the brothers or the woman in between to bring the story to an end. Please don't kill them.

Waiting for update.

Love.

So,this was simply brilliant as always! The exquisite pain you have brought out here made my heart stop I think. The image of Shivay sitting beside the pool, thinking of all that he had and all that he lost and all that he could have had...

You have excellently described simply how broken this man is due to the wrong choices he made, his mistaken priorities which most certainly have not stood the test of time. And the fact that he is now on the verge of meeting Om and Anika... that is truly the most pathetic and the most joyous reunion that could happen.

Oh the pain of it all!

Loved it! And thank you so much for updating!

You don't know how emotionally invested I am in this story of yours. ❤️