IshKara TS : Broken Angel *LAST PART* 30/07 Page 6 - Page 5

Last Part

Ishana

I almost tripped while rushing back to my room. My heart was pounding faster than a f*cking train. My heart, the one that beats, the one that has been with me during my fear, the one that experienced the cruelty of this world is the one that matches with his heartbeat.

I shut the door behind me and with a loud thump I hit my back against it, hitting my head hard at the same time. My butts hit the floor and I sat lifelessly against the door. After a long time I let go of my tears. The tears I vowed not to shade when I was in pain. When those evil souls ripped each and everything away from me, I refused to show my weakness to me. But I knew even then they won. They turned this body into a piece of meat in no time and froze my heart forever.

But today Omkara squeezed that frozen heart and broke the icy layer. I know he knows what he is done. Even when I didn't talk to him, he melted that solid layer slowly burning it with his gaze, which only has love.

I want to cry, scream, and break things. I want to harm myself for losing my composer in front of him.

Why oh why he still manages to affect me.

I thought I was dead and ruined for everyone.

I thought I was just cold meat then why it warms me up when he looks at me lovingly?

Why do I feel shy around him when every other man in this world has seen me naked?

I rushed towards the toiled as the bile hit my throat. I gagged few times uncomfortably thinking how I let other men rule my body. And how like a sacrificing lamb I let them touch me.

I watched my disbelieved stated in the mirror. My own reflection haunted me. Terrified Me. I am dirty. This world has made me dirty. Like a manic I started rubbing my clean skin. I could still feel those dirty tongue-doing things to me.

Eww, I started rubbing my skin desperately. I took the towel and dampen it with the water. Then sat on the bath tub and started running the water. I need to clean my self was my only mantra. Everytime I rubbed my wrist, I wince in pain. Those imprints that reflected that once I was tied, mocked me.

I let off a painful growl. I was nothing but a helpless, weak, stupid girl and now I am nothing but a piece of trash.

When my skin couldn't take any more I sunk myself in the tub. The hot water burn my over scrubbed skin. But it was nothing compared to what all they poured on me. I shut my eyes tightly desperately wanting to erase those memories. I dipped my entire face under the water holding my breath. A part of me wanted to drown my self. But another part pulled me up to catch air.

I gulped a huge amount of air and then cried my hurt out.

"To bad precious, but I love you. I loved you every single moment. Then and Now".

"Precious", I laughed a little hearing my new nickname. It was a sad laugh though. I am no body's precious. I can never be. I am not worth that nickname. I am not worth to be loved. Even though I love him, I don't want him to love me. Because all he would get is pain, darkness, ugly nightmares where I wake up screaming. He deserves much better than this.

Even though I remind myself such things, my heart leaps every time I think about his words then and now'. It warms my entire body. My hearts wants go to him and hug him as if it's life dependent on him but my brain scolds her and shows it, the place where it belongs, umm well well it doesn't belong to be precise.

My fingers start to wrinkle due to prolonged position in the water. It reminds me of my current state. Ugly and crumpled.

No matter how much I try to scrub off the dirt, it wont go away. I have become filthy. Everything I touch will become filthy. And I cant let that happen to him.

The more I think about him the more in drown into those two beautiful eyes. It was those eyes, which I started to admire when I was a baby. That time innocently and now with passion, which I thought didn't exists after what I have gone through.

Men were like creatures for me, yet this man was nothing but an angel.

Omkara

I smile at myself. I know I did it. I wanted to see her reaction and she gave me that. I punched the air like a 13 year old and did a little jig. I wanted to tell his brother to stop all her counseling and let me take care of her. The only one she reacted with is me. I also want to tell him how much I love her and since when. I am sure he would understand. After all he likes me a lot and he would be happy to hear that I am going to help his sister to heal. But bfore that I need to make sure this little fire cracker is with me.

Fire Cracker, she truly is. My Fire cracker. I love her.

I know she needs time. But well I am an impatient man her after my confession. When I said I love her I know it has hit the bulls eye. Her body language might have been strong but her eye gave in. I saw the true feelings in those two honey coloured obs.

I give her time to compose. But tonight after dinner I am going to talk to her. I am pretty determined about it. I have to show her how much I mean those three words.

Ishana

I slipped out of the tub and tucked a fluffy warm towel around me. The white colour screamed purity where as I was anything but pure.

I hung my head in defeat, kicking myself several times for being so depressed. It is all because of him. Tonight I am going to make sure he is out of my life for his good. I have had enough. I cant ruin him. I love him a bit too much. He is the only man I have loved and would ever love even in this state.

**

I checked the clock for the last time. My brother must have retired to his room. He has an early morning conference. I purposely skipped the dinner so that I can materialize my plan. My heart said it was wrong and out right cruel. The guy did nothing but to love me, the only person who never saw me as a peace of meat. But my head was adamant. It crushed my heart reminding me the reality of the situation.

I walked towards my closet and grabbed my black satin robe. Putting my arms through the armholes I wore it against my naked skin. The coolness of the fabric hit my burning skin. I was filled with rage. Nothing else. My only mission was to show him who I am. He didn't understand my words so now I want to show the ugly side of me through actions.

I stashed the golden belt loosely so that its good enough to show what I intended to show him.

I went back to my dressing unit and checked my hair. I wore curls. Yes have spent an hour on my make up and hair. And right now with those sexy curls, red pouty lips and smoky eyes, I was looking like perfect plaything. I wore those black killer heals that I was wearing when the accident happened. Men loved me in that shoes. And today I am dressed to kill, kill his love for.

**

I waited for 20 more minutes to pass. Then I peeped outside to check whether my brother was in the radies. Satisfied he wasn't I walked towards Omkara's room with determined steps. Even thought my heart screamed to stop, my brain over ruled my decision to retreat back. My way might not be the best but it will ensure that he is out of my life forever. When he sees me like this he will never turn to me ever again even if I beg him to stay.

Taking a deep breath I hauled near the door, surprised that it wasn't lock. Without thinking twice I entered the room. He was standing near the cupboard changing into his nightware. I was dumb folded at first. He had an amazing body. I felt funny in my tummy seeing them work as he tried to put on a black t-shirt. He froze midway and turned towards me. His eyes widened seeing me standing at his doorstep. He was clearly not expecting me. Good, I wanted to startle him. His eyes held mine for long and never going to other places except my face. I slowly closed the door behind and walked ever so slowly towards him.

I held my stash and he fluttered but continued to watch me. I reduced the gap between us and undid my belt completely.

"You want me like this, don't you? I like it really dirty baby". My breath kissed his chin. I jabbed his skin with my index finger cornering him against the mirror. He watched my finger dig against his muscle leaving behind a crescent mark on his skin.

I have pained my nails red and I know men like it when they saw the contrast against their skin.

Before he could realize I dropped my robe. His breath hissed as he realized my state. He licked his lips nervously clearly unable to comprehend my next move. I could see tiny droplets glittering his forehead.

But his eyes never left mine. Not for once did he broken that contact except when I jabbed him. I have to give that to him. After all he is a man and clearly a red-blooded man. I was talking every ounce of his will power to stop himself from touching me. But I want him to touch me so that I can rub that on his face. I wanted to insult him, scream at him and make him realize that it was just lust nothing else.

But when he didn't move an inch I did the last that that might snap him. I plastered myself with him. Before I could do anything his hand gripped my wrist and suddenly he flipped out position. My back hit the cold mirror making me shiver.

"Trust me Ishana, I want you so bad. And if it were under some other circumstances I would have taken you right here against the wall. Don't underestimate my soft mature towards you firecracker. I will make sure when I take you you remember that for the rest of your life. His breath kissed my lips and I quivered like a virgin. I will ruin you for others precious.

Then he looked towards my wrist and loosens his grip. He adjusted his grip and then kissed my bruise. And I forgot everything. His lips lingered for few seconds saying how sorry he was not able to save me from it.

I closed my eyes unable to take his tenderness. No one has ever touched me so tenderly. No one has ever apologized to me for the pains they have inflicted in me but this guy who gave nothing but love kept on apologizing.

He removed my hair from my nape and kissed on the almost fading bruise. "Give me one chance Ishana, I will make sure you blush seeing any bruises on your body instead of staring at them with disgust".

Then he kissed my cheeks tenderly. "You know what I see now? I see a desperate woman who wants me to hate her. But precious, you will always remain that sweet innocent girl to me despite of what you had to endure. When I see your bruises", he traced them with his coursed fingers and I sighed, "I see a strong woman who never gave up. You are a fighter not a coward. You might not be physically strong as far as they were concerned but they could never destroy you completely and that is the reason you are here showing me the world you lived. I am so proud of you. I know how hard it was for you to look like this", he gestured with his hands, "it is something you will never want to go back to".

I don't know when my eyes started leaking. It was just too overwhelming. His love for me was selfless. He was proud of me despite of knowing what a piece of shit I am. He wants me despite of knowing that I don't own this body anymore. He loves me despite of the stunt I have pulled on him right now.

"I don't want to fix you Ishana. I want to be fixed to you. I want all of you even your ugly side. I not only love that cute little girl untouched girl, but I love this woman in front of me with all her scars and pain. I can't promise you that I will make you forget everything that has happen to you. But I promise you will find me by your side during all your worst days.

Finally my heart won over my head. I wanted to scream and hug him and tell him I love him. I wanted to tell him that I want to hold him and cry my heart out when I have panic attacks. I want to make love to him till I forget my name and forget everything I have been though.

I opened my eyes and saw him staring at me with nothing but love. I opened my mouth to say that I love you when someone opened the door and burst in.

**

"You son of a b*tch, get off her you motherf**ker. How dare you touch her?" my brother screamed at Omkara.

Omkara quickly grabbed his shirt and threw it towards me and then turned and shield me so that my brother doesn't witness my nudity. With shaking hands I fumbled with the tshirt.

My brother rushed towards her and pulled Omkara off me. I don't blame my brother. From the door it must have looked like Omkara was forcing himself on me because his head held my wrist.

Protective instinct took over him as he punched Omkara on his face.

"Stop it Bhaiya", I screamed as both of them rolled on the bed. My brother managed to punch him few more times before Omkara tossed him on the bed. They have reversed their position.

"Listen to me", Omkara tired to make him listen. But instead of listening he punched Omkara at his stomach.

"Nehal, please listen to him. It was not what it seemed like", I cried.

"Stay out of it sis. I have got this".

"You have got nothing Nehal", unable to see Omkara in pain I screamed on my brother. "It's me who is f*cked up not him. If you didn't realize it is his room not mine. I came to his room".

"Ishana!", Omkara warned me clearly not wanting to expose my behavior infront of my brother.

"It was me who came and stood naked infront of him showcasing myself like a Christmas tree. I wanted him to behave like those men. I wanted to rub it on his face later and tell him that he is no different".

Nehal hand stopped in the mid air hearing my words. I felt like a trash making my brother going through this. It wasn't a part of my plan to involve my innocent bro who did nothing but to protect me after I was back from hell.

Then he stared at Omkara who was bleeding from his mouth. It pained me to see him in that state. All he did was to look at me like I am some precious thing close to his heart. Damn I am his heart. The way he was looking at me with hooded gaze I felt like punching my brother for hurting him so much without listening to either of us.

Nehal got up and stood nose to nose with me. He was very angry I could make out but schooled his features immediately when he saw my tears.

"I hope you come out of this baby girl. I am really worried for you. Not all men are monsters. There are men like us who wants to take care of you".

I hugged my brother then like my life depended on it. "I know Nehal. I know", I sobbed.

"Shh! I love you sweetheart. And I have got this", he hugged me tighter. But all I was thinking was Omkara. How his hug is going to feel.

Then he realized me and went towards Omkara who was now standing. "I am sorry brother. I had no idea..."

"It's okey man. No offence taken. And we are in this together. I love your baby sister if you must know".

"Hey! My brother growled".

"Now don't act like an a**hat brother. You know me since we used to share our under-wears. I have told you before that I love her. You didn't seem to mind at all".

"That was then...and now".

"She is the same girl Nehal".

I had no idea that Omkara told my brother about his feelings for me. Nehal never mentioned it to me.

Sighing my brother pulled Omkara into a man to man hug slapping his shoulders soundly. "I know what you are getting into Omkara. My sister isn't the same person anymore".

"She is the same one for me. Umm well hell of a sexier version though".

"You son of a... I love you bro", my brother squeezed him for the last time and then turned towards me.

"He waited for you for his entire like baby girl. Don't hurt him please. If you don't love him, it's your choice but don't hurt him. He is like my second skin".

I could see my brother's eye water and before it spilled he walked out of the room.

I looked at Omkara who continued to bleed. Seeing it blood it pain me as well as made we fill proud of my brother. I was touched by his protective instinct. For once I felt secured in my life. And what can I say about this man. He took every shit my brother threw at him without retaliating once. For me.

I walked towards him and cupped his face. Then kissed on his bruises just like he did on mine.

"I am sorry", I said in a small voice.

He hugged me then. I burst out in tears unable to control anymore. All he did was to hold me tightly until I was exhausted from crying.

He took me in his arms and carried me to the bed. "Lets get some sleep, shall we?"

"I don't want to sleep tonight Omkara. I want to be with you".

"I promise to stay with you whole night precious. There is nothing else to watch other than seeing you sleep peacefully".

"I want to dream".

"Let me help you do that".

"Are you are genie now?"

He smiled at me sweetly. "Your wish is my command"

"I want to sleep in your arms".

"Wish granted". He kissed the tip of my nose.

"Naked", I mumbled against his chest.

"You almost killed me few minutes back fire cracker with your gorgeous body. I had a tough time to ask my junior to behave".

I giggled. God this man is going be to be the death of mine. He cant get more adorable. You call that your junior?

"I love the sound of you giggle. I want it more often. Do you have any other name in your mind?"

Once again I felt shy. "I will think about it". Then I snuggled against his chest.