Zara...Please WALK AWAY!!

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SStephy

@SStephy

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 7 years ago

#11

I agree. It's one thing to have different opinions, even regressive ones but another to rage at someone, and that too, with one's wife like this and manhandle her. Honestly, Kabir just came across as hypocritical.. he is angry with Zara for not keeping the rules properly and yet, here he is committing a horrible act.

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ghissapitta

@ghissapitta

Voyager

Posted: 7 years ago

#12

Literally WORD to everything you just said! 👏 I have nothing else to add.

It's always the women who have to change themselves for men, do this do that, make/keep them happy/keep the peace. I am sick and tired of this shit 🤢

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Lakshs

@Lakshs

Explorer

Posted: 7 years ago

#13

I am usually a silent reader and observer. But this post is so true that I had to add my view point and agree to the initial post and many responses in this thread.

Men with this attitude generally don't change. It like trying to straighten a dog's tail. I have seen a handful of men who have changed but still have shades of this kind of behavior that pops up when uncalled for. It is something that needs fixing as a boy.

Such men are immature and this stays for most of their life...an open gate for others to walk in and abuse the wife...

I was married for 18years with a man like this with the hope that he would change- would see, listen, and learn and of course change at least to some extent. The only result that has come out of this sort of a situation is, like you mention, the woman looses herself and self respect. I was sensible enough to get a divorce at least now (the best decision I feel as I see the effects of a better life after coming out), but I know many who stay on...

Why is Indian television ramantacizing abuse? Why is Zara loosing her self respect? Why does a woman have to be the only person, in a marriage between 2 people, take on the responsibility to tolerate, and try to fix and make a marriage work? There are many abused women seeing this and are they being told to wait for a better day? Crap...

Every important advise- a lesson learnt the hard way: Please do not hide things from parents and definitely one or two strong friend/family who are not closely connected with parents. This is where most women go wrong. I am not saying everyone should be involved but women should confide and get help when there are sparks and not wait until they have lost themselves in the fire... friends and other family because, parents sometimes get too emotional and may loose logic...again years of experience in my own case and a few other friends...

The only positive thing I see in Zara's situation is that she has a nice mom-in-law and a FIL who is kind of supportive for now or at least silent. And parents who support her. I hope if she decides to get a divorce, her mom and dad won't shed tears and expect her to try again...like they tried to force her to marry in the first place.

A No Is a completely sentence and abuse is an absolute NO in any situation.

Talking to people and perhaps a counselor is not a crime.

It is also very difficult to emotionally and mentally raise oneself out of this situation...it takes time and a lot of effort.

Edited by Lakshs - 7 years ago

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aqua.m7

@aqua.m7

Dazzler

Posted: 7 years ago

#14

I wish we could hear kabeers thoughts? Does he not feel as if he has done wrong???? Cause Mate you certainly have.

Zara why r u pitting up with this crap! I thought she was going home to teach him a lesson but nooo she' going to figure out another plan to make his dream come true.

I couldn't even enjoy the 'O zalima' song scene cus kabeer was being an arrogant baby. Pick yourself up and say sorry to your wife

Why the hell didn' ayesha say something to him. He might have listened. Where is Shahbaz???

Zara is still trying to show ruks that all is Well, don't cover up for him zara I don't care of ruks wants him. Don't cover up for that he did.😡😡😡

Kabeer sort yourself out! 😡😡😡Go and say sorry to zara. Urghhh don' manhandle, your above all that crap. You've shown us from the beginning that you don' do that that shit. I swear something's up, this is not the kabeer who started to love.😡😡😡

That kabeer respected women and never even touched her. Who is this imposter yaar!!😡😡😡

Why is zara acting like a lost puppy? She should not trying to manaofy him, hold it head up high.

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sajni786

@sajni786

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 7 years ago

#15

Thank you everyone for your thoughtful replies/opinions!

Its a shame that despite so many rape/abuse cases that are happening in India and people are desperately trying to enforce and educate against this and so many pro-women movements are being taken into action, our Indian TV does not seem to understand that romanticizing or even dramatizing such scenes is only adding to the mess!

Like many of you have mentioned, men like Kabir never change. Yes, with massive (and I mean MASSIVE) amount of time and effort given, he might be able to stretch a tad bit of his boundaries, but to expect a 360 degree turn, NOPE, not happening ever.

And I therefore don't understand why Zara should even try to bother changing him. Today's epi proves my point also as the guy apparently did not even realize what he had done during the argument, had no remorse what so ever and was behaving like a 5 yr old kid and Zara dear just scrapes off that event and moves on to help him further. I am like "Wake Up Woman"!!!

Edited by sajni786 - 7 years ago

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kasaf

@kasaf

Navigator

Posted: 7 years ago

#16

Originally posted by: sajni786
Yes and this comes from a woman who has been married for 17yrs now.

I agree a marriage is a constant "Work in Progress" and both parties involved should be equally contributing into this "work".

I have been reading various topics on this forum on how Zara should give Kabir time and space so that he will come around, that Zara should teach him or will teach him etc etc. I was basically in no man's land till today's epi happened and the last frame is where I draw the line!

I ask WHY? Why should Zara even bother to work on this project "Sudharo Kabir". Just coz she is married to him? He is nothing but a walkie talkie 'Disaster Recovery Management' and just coz Zara is married to him does not give her an automatic license to begin working on his recovery. Does anyone realize how emotionally and mentally draining it can get to deal with a person like Kabir for a lifetime?? I mean we are not talking about just a guy who has slight differences in viewpoint. They are rigid, conservative and add to that he apparently does not believe in a healthy argument. He actually is getting physical and no woman should tolerate this behavior even for once neither should be thinking about giving him chances.

I am sorry, but if in a marriage, you are already dealing with emotional and mental torture (which Zara already is - through Ruksaar and Kabir both) and you add physical torture to that, I absolutely do not think its worth even a breath coz trust me when I say this, you end up losing yourself in trying to not only 'sudharo' your partner but make this marriage work!

Getting physical in an argument/disagreement is simply a NO!
I rest my case!!

.

Completely agree with you

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Fantasia.

@Fantasia.

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 7 years ago

#17

Oh i should have posted my thoughts here and not made a seperaye topic .. anyways ..

I whole heartredly agree with abuse is abuse no matter what, but i just need to know your opinion abt zara's behaviour bcz somewhere even after blaming Kabeer i cant help but understand what he went thru .. i am not blinded by his rage bcz i can somewhere see what went wrong ..judt vcz zara is HELPING him doesnt give her the levrage of all of us? She is interfering when there is no need .. or one can do anything he/she wants unless he/she is not physically abusive? Mtlb waise kuch bhi kar lo?

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JazzyM

@JazzyM

Rocker

Posted: 7 years ago

#18

Originally posted by: Fantasia.
Oh i should have posted my thoughts here and not made a seperaye topic .. anyways ..

I whole heartredly agree with abuse is abuse no matter what, but i just need to know your opinion abt zara's behaviour bcz somewhere even after blaming Kabeer i cant help but understand what he went thru .. i am not blinded by his rage bcz i can somewhere see what went wrong ..judt vcz zara is HELPING him doesnt give her the levrage of all of us? She is interfering when there is no need .. or one can do anything he/she wants unless he/she is not physically abusive? Mtlb waise kuch bhi kar lo?

For me it's not siding with Zara. If she is not supposed to interfere, Kabir is not happy with her interference, what would the best way be... talk to her in private or blast her to the sundry. If the situation was reversed, would Kabir agree to be told off in front of everyone? Let's say it's not Zara but his dad who was in disagreement, would Kabir accept being told off by his dad in front of non family members...?

In this case, Zara is new to the family. For any new bride, her pride plays huge part. The so called family members, are not really her family members at present, she needs time to adjsust. Wouldn't it be prudent for Kabir to tell her off (I'm being harsh toward Zara) in private and not to manhandle her?

I don't know but if it's me, a talk privately would have been appreciated. However, even in private, manhandling is not accepted.

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Fantasia.

@Fantasia.

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 7 years ago

#19

Originally posted by: JazzyM

For me it's not siding with Zara. If she is not supposed to interfere, Kabir is not happy with her interference, what would the best way be... talk to her in private or blast her to the sundry. If the situation was reversed, would Kabir agree to be told off in front of everyone? Let's say it's not Zara but his dad who was in disagreement, would Kabir accept being told off by his dad in front of non family members...?

In this case, Zara is new to the family. For any new bride, her pride plays huge part. The so called family members, are not really her family members at present, she needs time to adjsust. Wouldn't it be prudent for Kabir to tell her off (I'm being harsh toward Zara) in private and not to manhandle her?

I don't know but if it's me, a talk privately would have been appreciated. However, even in private, manhandling is not accepted.

Manhandling is a complete NO whether its public or private or whatever.

If you are talking about the post-investor meeting then there was no one around, he blasted at her alone, ofc no one knows the evil sisters were spying but the fight was supposedly alone.

Other than that i have not seen Kabeer blast at Zara in public .. ever .. instead its Zara who told everyone on the dinning table that she wanted to give her mehr's money to Kabeer for his project .. that in my opinon was so so wrong, he had no damn idea what was going on .. and was left stunned and again she has done the same thing of going to the board members without his consent ..

what if Kabeer hogged something like this realted to Zara? What if he disclosed something about her to the entire family? even if he is helping her ..

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maya sethi

@Mayavi-26

Sparkler

Posted: 7 years ago

#20

Bang on post completely needed, 👍🏼 i was always against this idea of cv,s of zara getting attracted towards kabir and forgetting herself and her views. Want her back as she was. If this how goes on for more days I might quit watching this show then.

I know maybe this current track is giving them ratings but it's just not what I'm looking for.

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