agree to disagree

IKRS Wednesday 24^th February 2016 ep 172 My Take ~ agree to disagree

Marriage is not about a formal declaration that allows one to share the same bed . It's a serious business of spending your life with another person. It's sharing your own space with another person. It's about handing over your life to another and accepting theirs in return. It's about both dissent and consent and when neither can be reached ,marriage is also about indentifying a the middle path that considers and accommodates the needs of both involved . It's a bond where two individuals educate themselves about each other's strengths and weaknesses. It's a bond where adaptability with each other and situations of common interests happens. Lastly marriage is about a nifty handling of your life partner and his families , physical social and emotional needs.. Have to say that the final challenge may be a bit more poignant in a love marriage as we see in the lives ofviplav and Dhani..

First dissension or consent or middle path? Dhani's thoughtful suggestion that its best the news about their marriage should be kept low key due the fact that it coincides with shalu's current proposal , hence its best that he stays at his house and she at hers. The idea seems hard to swallow for Viplav for he begins to feel insecure as her husband especially before her folks when she returns. They'll think he's not man enough to tell his family about their marriage! He tries to convince her, she can't really leave as his house is now after marrying him this morning! her home as much its his! Viplav needs to be sensitive to the fact that Dhani as a woman relates to shalu.. and her being a widow if anything untoward happens to shalu's proposal. Dhani apparently is still in her I am a widow mode. Viplav would not stand for it and vehemently drums it into her again .Look missy you're not a widow any more ! we got married today! it is a fact she isn't going to refute but anticipates any way she he'll come visit her at the ashram.. because now she is his wife! Gently she moulds him like putty to live separately till the dust settles down. Like his father, here Viplavtoo gives into his wife's persuasion as he's her loving ,understanding husband who sees a point in what she decides.. that neither of them ,especially him will make a song or dance about their marriage for shalu's sake! But after a time lapse of twenty days he will be shouting from the roof tops that he a married man now! As it is, it's going to be hard for him to stay away from him! just this time and never again he vows! . As his wife , Dhani is pleased and so is he! that they consented on the way forward in this sticky situation. Dhani consoles him , remember it's a matter of a few days then they'll be together forever.. he'll just have to trust her.. than a word of advice to keep his anger curbed.. The crucial thing about this scene is that just one of them , hates the idea of being just married! and keeping mum about it and worse still live separately and make known to the world that they are single! and all this for the sake of his family! It's like Dhani has walked into a tailor made situation which asks her to bequeath that which is hers! The right to being a married woman now! Also that he will have to trust her good will and her love for both him and his family.

Too early for things to be uncovered.. whilst Dhani talks to Viplav outside. Her ex MIL comes to the main door of the house , but both Dhani and her miss each other as the time is not right. Shalu's MIL is stopped from staying at a hotel and invited by kanak to stay at AN for two days ,as she waits for her son..

And then the married couple reluctantly parts, their fingers entwined ,refusing to let go.. one final plea .look after yourself ,for me.. I love you, don't want you goo plead his eyes, "cant leave without you.. if living is without you".. she looks over her shoulder at him, remember only a matter of few days ,then together we will be..forever.. farewell my love..and Dhani slips away... #Household or bedlam? Viplav sits as a family man .. hears the same old screaming shrill of his mother shrieking her lungs out at his sister, poking fun and abusing her obesity. Same old obsession of his mother with getting her sister married off..such boredom.. his mother notices his somber mood and wonders why is he so down? when he should be happy that evil eye has been averted from this house besides its good news for shalu.. yes he was morose ,had loads of reasons, he got married today his mother hates his wife calls her a witch.. besides not happy ,had to separate from his wife , due to her concern for this family! what can he do? She begged him with a wife's prerogative, not to be angry..

Shalu offers him a plate of jalebi! the gods are so great, they remind me of my marriage , my union with my beloved! They give me the opportunity to share sweets with my family! Taste the sweet news of my marriage which I cannot bring upon my lips! but in my shalu's proposal celebration! I eat a jalebi and feed a jalebi to my whole family! especially my dear dear mother . due to whose hatred of Dhani, became the catalyst for me and Dhani united now forever and more! Viplav smirks inwardly at the sweet way the gods work! Dhani was so right! I shouldn't be angry, as Dhani is with me, despite my dear mother's futile efforts, muses Viplav, as he licks off the syrup off his finger tip.. kanak suddenly chokes!!! over the jalebi

Weighed down by spiritual unrest regards the disclosure of her marriage.. Dhani on her way home.. comes across Maata.. she is the one who can help her sort out her problem.. she stands before Maata, next to a married woman dressed in her red sari.. holding a plate with vermillion on it.. Dhani looks at herself , being a married woman.. still dressed as a widow! On her arm she holds the red bridal chunni from Maata's temple and the red bangles Viplav gave her after they got married, she peels of her bindi.. than with all three symbols and articles of a married woman.. as a widow Dhani approaches the altar ,puts them before Maata and asks for strength, to live like a widow till both her and Viplav can announce their wedding.. she is confused about what to do..? help me! as I don't want to be found guilty of hiding such a sacred truth of actually being a married one ,but only assuming as seen in the appearance of a widow in a white sari ! the wind suddenly blows a bit on sindoor from the married woman standing next to her , on the corner of Dhani's white sari's pallu.. Dhani ties the blown vermillion in a knot... and her eyes gleam with spiritual joy as she grasps Maata's message .. till her and Viplav don't announce their marriage to both families, she will continue to be seen in a white sari as a widow, the color of viplav's love is white...

A mothers concern, since her daughter is long gone ,Dulari's restlessness and Dhani's absence from the ashram makes her anxious and louder. Dhani returns, her head well covered , so as to conceal a huge reality of her marriage. Rightfully she is questioned, as to her whereabouts? whether all was sorted between her and Viplav guilt sets into her and makes her wary as she recalls the most important ceremony of her life! she feels like a proper liar.. although in some way she does speak the truth.. yes all is sorted between her and Viplav.. however both her and viplav have decided that I remain the way I am ,till he doesn't pacify his mother for our marriage.. it may take some time ,as shalu too has had a proposal which is under consideration. so we have both decided that we won't be bringing the topic of our marriage as yet.. Dhani's statement seems plausible .. but dulari is suspicious.. but Inderani pacifies her, main thing is the misunderstandings between Viplav and Dhani have been cleared, and soon all will be well too..but Dhani too ,slips away in guilt up to her room

Its night time.. Dhani stands before the mirror and slowly takes off her pallu and feels the vermilion in her hair parting.. being a married woman a widow stands in the reflection.. what pining for my love is this? Dhani muses sadly.. with such love he put the vermillion in her hair parting and the managalsutra around her neck.. they remind me of you my love..dhani hoods her eyes shyly.. her longing to preen her elf for him, makes her peel oof a bindi.. and pastes it on the mirror.. surely I can stand before it at an angle and she does just for him.. and pretends he watches her beautifying herself for him.. it is such a lovely feeling that she smiles .. and what's more she can see him over her shoulder watching her in the reflection , surely she is hallucinating but she sees him circling his finger and in shock she turns he is there in person! There is no point in talking to him he incorrigible! Viplav and his outrageous ways protests Dhani! Viplav woos her big time.. she ditched him ! he missed her! so he's come to see her! A nd with a twinkle in his eyes he reminds her, look baby! we got married today! and guess what tonight's our special night! you and me! on our wedding night! He dares her and she plays dumb and he says, don't you know what happens on the first night of marriage ? Dhani in pure innocence says ,whattt? Vilplav goes, on the first night, a wife makes a glass of saffron milk for her loving husband! and Dhani don't you pretty little head , I have the saffon right here with me !so go on then get cracking! While I make myself comfortable and Viplav unrolls a quilt on the floor and grabs some pillows and flops down on the make shift! bed! All geared up for consummation night! Dhani is flabbergasted at him and leans over him protesting you have to leave! to which he says, me not leaving till you don't fulfill me needs! he pulls her over his chest! moves her hair back from her face, and cheekily looks up at her face and drawls, I've noticed ever since we got married you find excuses to meet me..humm.. tell me then what's up? Dhani looks down angrily at him.. you must be out of your mind! what rubbish and he warns her, me not budging from here till you don't fulfill my wish.. what wish? he teases.. Saffron milk.. what else? But she lingers on stubbornly and he says , now I am not leaving for sure , let all the women of the ashram come and see what's going on! Dhani gives in and ensures , will you leave then? and he goes nooohh..with a naughty smile.. and Dhani goes to the door and he yells, only get the milk . I have the saffron right here with me!

Time to face the truth..dhani opens the door and before her stands her mother!who can see the vermillion in her daughters hair parting... who was she talking to in there? Dulari comes in much to Dhani's horror but thank heavens he has gone! A tad disappointed Dhani is actually, to see him gone. But he stands outside pasted against the window , chuckling at seeing Dhani being told off for being messy her room, her quilt on the floor.. Dhani got away with this one, but not with the vermillion.. dulari yells at her why has she got vermillion in her parting! Dhani lies .. she went to the temple with survarna, there while pressing her forehead she must have caught some.. dulari yells ,you should have taken it off!what are people likely to say if they see a widow with that in her parting? Here let me wipe it off! But Dhani stops her mother immediately don't ! when I bath tomorrow it will wash off .. dulari studies her daughters face for answers.. her face painfully puzzled.. does she as a mother sense her daughter is a married woman already ? Dhani looks every so guilty and dulari comes over to her tenderly and says its fine.. you are already betrothed to Viplav..if his dad hadn't died the vermilion would have shone in your parting like now.. Dhani looks searchingly in her mothers eyes..does mai know? could she tell by the way I reacted when she was going to wipe it off?but dulari prefers to believe that Dhani isn't married.. and she cries, I too don't want to wipe off your vermillion , but till your marriage doesn't take place.. I have to check you ..dont' I ? Dhani hugs her mother, reassures her ,not to worry ,as all will be well.. dulari replies.. yes when you get married to bachwa ji.. and live happily with him all the days of your life! So Dhani in actual fact gets her mother's blessings.. such is the wonder of Maata.. to me this has to be the finest scene in the episode.. the dramatic irony is very moving..its like both the mothers, goddess and biological agree that till their marriage is not announced.. Dhani will dress as a widow..Once her mother leaves she asks her mother for forgiveness in her thoughts, she muses it's for Viplav's family she is living a lie.. but now no one can separate viplav and her...

Viplav beams back into Dhani's room again.. she shares she had to lie to her mother today.. Viplav seeing her upset says come on then don't lie to her lets go down and tell her the truth!

To me as I mentioned the best scene between dulari and dhani..generally I feel pleased today as more was shown about dhani's feelings.. the scene with viplav and jalebi was great ..loved his expressions,thanks mum..but little do you know.. didnt quite get the safforn milk snigger... glass of milk related to suhag raat ,I UNDERSTAND.. but saffron..? its apparently good for the digestive system😆😆.. why on earth would viplav need it..?? hamlet53, 25.2.16

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Wonderful take, dear Hammie. Very apt description of the newly weds. The Dhani-Dulari scene was also nicely narrated by you, and gave it a new angle for all of us to look at.

Some thoughts for today:

This hidey-hidey business of the marriage, me does not like one bit. In fact, it is totally contrary to who Viplav and Dhani are. Dhani is all about truth, and Viplav cannot hide anything even if he wants to. Both have a naivete and openness about life, about relationships, about the world, and now suddenly to hide one of the biggest things in their life is tantamount to living a life of self-denial.

Dhani has major issues of internalized oppression connected to her person, her gender, and her widowhood. To continue as a widow, even though she is now a married woman would underscore the oppressive messages of unacceptability and inauspiciousness, without giving her a chance to outgrow them, and develop her personality.

I was a little alarmed to hear day before yesterday's "das din" change to "bees din" as the time frame to hide the marriage in yesterday's episode. 20 days, that too in serial time --a lot can and will happen. I wish Vip would fly off to Boston and take Dhani with him. That would be the obvious solution to the excessive numbers of MILs jumping out of every corner, and making Ayodhya Nivas into a haunted house. Ghoulish, eh??

Wonderful take Hammie as always!!👏..loved reading it.looking forward to see major turns in d story..wish Cvs handle dis well..nd show ViDha as stronger..hope for d best...Thank u dear..Take care😊

thanks Hammie for this wonderful take..actually i had loved only the first 3 mins of yesterday's epi..and did not find the rest part very interesting..but i loved reading ur take..U write so well 👏(ismein naya kya hai😆)..After the precap I am excited for today's episode

Res,,,,


Thank you Hammie for holding .


One of the best Scene admired today is Marraige ceremony is one of the pavithra bandhan in girls life , dhaani received with the blessings of Lord Goddess durga, however her pain is unable to share the good news and to recieve blessings from her mother , which usually they would do , (Dullari and Dhaani will get comfort in each others arms and consoles them )

, A son is seeing from outside and the situation is to hide her identity again (She received the identity however that is too be again hidden in the form of his sister ) . One with pain standing infront of her mother and another son who is standing away from mother in law (Mother ) with the pain .

So both the souls are longing to receive the blessings from elders ,

This scene also potrays . Viplov will be always be the shoulder for Dhaani at any situation

However a mother sensed about her daugthers nature and attitude , and asked to wipe the sindhoor . (So she is the person to ask her wipe her memories which she has for viplov), due to upcoming emerging past . and goddess in the form of Suvarna is saving her again (Becuase once up a on atime , who gave the life to her (Dhaani gave life to her - a color)


SO it is the time for Suvarna to show her grattitude in dhaanis life (Because she is the daughter in law of Ayodhya nivas (DT) .)

Hammie hammie hammie .
Wonderful take as usual dear.with its cute little title.
I love d beginning of ur takes.all of them.its amazing how you connect them.
doc sahiba too wants to know d truth behind d saffron . lol. Is it for digestive or energy purpose? Only those who follow d rituals can tell.

Hey Hammie,


It is said that marriages are made in heaven yet it is one of the most challenging relationship to withhold and by that I mean in its composition, its understanding , its compromise , its friendship , its love and so much more. Unlike any other relation commitment required is seamless and it should be entered only in great seriousness.

Viplav & Dhani after taking their vows head to AN to announce their wedding when they are confronted with their first test. Shallu's wedding may get jeopardized with our announcement says Dhani so maybe we should wait. Viplav sees no issue in telling everybody what is true and Dhani thinks that the timing is not right . For Viplav it is the matter of vanity , what will others think that he is afraid or this is a mistake and for Dhani it is her deep sensitivity to others and understanding of what a women goes thru if her wedding gets broken. "Its the matter of a few days Viplav . Lets keep it a secret " Viplav has promised to honor and cherish her gives in reluctantly . They Agree to disagree.

For me this was the best scene of the day as it was a follow up of what i was saying yesterday about the contrasting nature of these two. One who is bold enough to uphold the decision made and stand by it and the other constantly adjusting the barometer and balance each action. Further for Dhani her misfortune of being a widow is so ingrained in her soul that she sees her entire being as a figure in white. Viplav corrects her often and rightly so . Being a widow was an event and not an identity . And if I were to take sides in this conversation as to who is right and who is not it will be a very difficult choice .

Will I side with Viplav ? Who rightly says lets tell everyone the truth . its not a crime . Infact if you hide it , it does seem that way . They love each other he has always been open about it. And the one reason I may decide to stand in his corner is that for any change to happen in society one has to take unpopular steps if anyone likes it or not . Sounds selfish yes but the mold has to be broken of trying to fit into everyone's expectations. You cannot please every body .

And will I side with Dhani ? As a young girl she has faced so much . Harshness from family , society and knows how the real world works . For a man it maybe easy to walk in and announce a conquest but its the women who has to face the consequences. Further as you say ' marriage is nifty handling of your life partner and his families , physical , social and emotional needs " the burden of which falls primarily on the women. Starting on a wrong foot is not advisable . And yes in her good nature she is thinking about the family she will be joining. So maybe a 20 day period of secrecy is not a bad idea. I may decide to side with her.


Between all this we are getting some good romance scenes. Viplav is desperately in love and has no problem in expressing it . Sisters marriage is just a small hiccup and what is it compared to the havoc his mom has been creating . Each and every time their love for each other has increased so why get angry. Dulaari continues to live in fear as a daughters mother I can understand why so . Good she has Badi amma for support.

I have been enjoying the post marriage episodes and not because of a shirtless Viplav or a coy Dhani which of course is eye candy but the fact that the love story has moved to the next level. The characters will have to mature and take a stance eventually and there is more turmoil ahead. Will there be more negativity - absolutely and what remains to be seen how the two will handle it. Will Viplav continue to have his head buried in the sand and will Dhani ever stop being a door mat.

Lets see. you may have read about Dakst leaving the show which i think takes away an interesting story line . So Shambhu's death and he DT's son may never come back .

And thanks for the PM . looking forward to read earlier write-ups.

Take care and talk to you soon.

^^ totally Superlike your post.

Of course it is to prolong the show and the need to keep the girl in white.

And you are right about her failing courage and comfort with her white status that she lets others walk over .

Anyways it's a show we don't have control over so why fume.

Well said Dolly.