Originally posted by: CaffeineMuggle
No, no I understand where you are coming from. And as they say, everything single thing you go through in life is largely subjective because no one sees your perspective from your own eyes and the way we look at things, depends all on our experiences, losses and gains. Maybe for some people, what you have said is true. It could be a classic case of the grass is greener on the other side but yes, it does change a lot in you and especially if in babyhood/childhood, it's how the trauma shapes you.
Respect your opinion as well and thanks for indulging me in this conversation ❤️
I read all these responses backwards. So I will do my best to respond to some of your questions here, but I will be happy to chat via PM or if you feel comfortable then by email too.
First off, thank you for sharing, it cannot have been easy to do so and a big virtual hug to you because I can’t give you one in person. I was sort of wondering yesterday after your last PM, but I was busy and could not respond appropriately to it and had left it for the weekend.
It is indeed heartbreaking when you have no real tangible memories to hold on to. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I think as always, as with everything in life, it is about perspective. It is very natural and perfectly normal not to be able to come to peace with not having that love and those memories with your mother. But, what I am going to say will be heavily colored by MY values and beliefs only, so take it as you will. Also, in no way do I mean to minimize your feelings or loss. Please know that, my friend. While I am an avid philosopher, I am also a very real human being with flaws galore, still feeling my way around in the dark.
One of the reasons why I wrote this story was because of my thoughts and beliefs that revolve around the the philosophy of Karma. You and your mother had a karmic debt. I am no expert to tell you what kind and how much. Just as she did to you she also had a similar debt to others around her. Unfortunately, and again I have no knowledge of what circumstances drove her take her own life, but the assumption is a mental anguish so strong, that she could not cope with it. By cutting short her life, her debt remains unpaid. A new cycle of life and death will continue and she will have to repay the debt to you, in another lifetime. They say the best thing you can do for her is to pray for peace and strength. When we say rest Rest in peace we do so, very causally sometimes. But it should not be so. I do wonder though if the best step is to go further and ask for peace and forgive all debts so your loved one is freed from your particular debt. Now, if I was you, I’d say, ummm, no. I want to meet her again, I want to experience that love with her. And that’s fair. It takes lifetimes to arrive at a point of neutrality where you are simply interested in finishing off karmic debts to be liberated from the cycle of life, old age, disease and death.
You may have heard the Hawaiian practice called the ho’oponopono. In its simplest form, it is a prayer of forgiveness and reconciliation, of asking for and giving forgiveness, and for taking full responsibility for our Karmas. Karmas literally mean actions, right? Every action we perform, even me writing this response to you, is karma. My intention behind this karma determines the fruit of the karma, the goal to achieve is zero intent. Impossible one may say, why in the world? Simply because, our intent behind each action determines the consequence to it, or what I call karmic debts towards the person at the receiving end of your action and it’s intent, resulting in a never ending cycle of birth and death. The peace that came to my life when I realized that every so called “wrong” and “hurt” was simply a karmic debt and I was solely responsible for it, is indescribable. I have the power to forgive that debt and finish it. That has empowered me and given me the strength to climb out of my dark hole. Don’t misunderstand me, my friend, it’s a daily struggle and sometimes I try to escape my reality by hiding away in my room and writing, but my consciousness has changed and that is a good enough first step for this lifetime.
I have met people who say, well who cares. I like being born and living a new life again and having purpose, enjoying what I earn and if for that I have a few sorrows to bear then so what, that is life. And to them, I say more power to you.
But there are some like me, who would like to know what is beyond this cycle of life and death, who are no longer willing to go through the rollercoaster of emotions and dualities of life. Who simply want to find eternal peace. The rabbit hole here is, by wishing for eternal peace and acting in that consciousness, are you inheriting karma again 🤔🙂 I will end my sermon here. No one, but you and Pooja will read it. Like I said I am happy to continue this discussion.
lastly, I do not think you are hijacking my thread. My entire purpose was to stimulate these conversations and so, thank you for, 1. Contemplating 2. Sharing your contemplations. ♥️♥️♥️
Edited by mltr16 - 3 years ago
Anupamaa
