Posted:
its the fear...it has always been the fear! all these 10 years it the fear that he wont be accepted...first because zeenat said he cant be a businessman next because she betrayed him and proved it, third because all these years nobody bothered to make him feel accepted (he has been eating burnt toast all these years but, nobody made him believe thats its ok to not punish himself) and now zaki told him he cant be with aarzoo because he is married...so nobody ever made him feel right...
except aarzoo who behaved normally around him...she did things which made him feel normal and her abnormal...she wanted to vomit on him just for window seat, she threw her phone on him, she threw imli seeds in office like she owned the place! thats y he never yelled at her weird behaviour...he felt accepted...he could be who he was with her because she was what she was! he let her heal his belt wounds...she trusted him...he trusted it wont go out. he fell in love with the silent accepting...he didnt want to be in any other place..thats y he always wanted her attention. he was never awkward around her...he never needed to go out of his way to prove himself when with her...HE FELL IN LOVE BECAUSE HE LOVED HOW HE WAS WHEN WITH HER...HE FELL IN LOVE WITH HIMSELF...SHE MADE HIM FEEL THAT...thats when he realised he is lonely...he missed himself...all these years he was running from himself...she made him meet himself again...but, after zaki told him he is married the unaccepted truth hit him in head...and he was forced to tell her...
...he was waiting that maybe this time too she will accept him...see through...but, i dont agree that she didnt see through it either...but u know he didnt let her see through because, apart from saying that he is married, he told her that his love was a game...she believed him not because she wanted but, because she remembered what zaki had said...zaki played a big role in making sahir and aarzoo feel unworthy of each other...yet after all this she called him for help...it was reflex, he had always helped her her mind and heart knew it.
the FEAR was EVIDENT when aarzoo was telling zaki and the rest that she will leave the house and sahir overheard it...now whatever he is doing is out of fear that he will lose himself...if she goes away he will be back to being misfit...and LONELY...he just realised but, now because of what he did with aarzoo , he is forcing himself back into his bubble...he doesnt want to go there anymore but, he now believes that if he doesnt then he will harm the one he loves...and he cant see that happenin...back to where we began...sahir once again feels like a waste...except that he doesnt want to ge back there this time...he wants to get out of this...its clear...thats why he begged alvira...he showed what he really felt...its something he hasnt done in 7 years...and alvira didnt embarrass him...she went to aarzoo to stop her...she did what sahir asked for...she did not break his trust...with a lot of determination he came to a point of being vulnerable and asking alvira...AND HE WASNT DISAPPOINTED!
the first bubble has burst...alvira knows his feeling now and willingly!
he was standing at the door pleading with his eyes when alvira was talking to aarzoo...she looked at him and he looked sadly at her wanting her to stay...when she didnt give in he said 'riha karta hu' he meant to free her...he didnt mean she should leave...he meant 'i will not bother you'
and YET, with that he will now blackmail her...simply because he can? NO! he wants her reaction...he wants to know what she is thinking...HE HAS TOO! he has to decide where he should go from here...he hasnt heard her say anything about it yet...she hasnt even questioned him who is his wife n where she is...he wants to know what she has been thinking about his deeds...(i wish he smiles when she says 'should i get u a bigger knife?' ) because that will mean she hasnt changed and he can hope 😊...
ps - haaye! i cant wait to see HC tonight! two long days how i lived! ðŸ˜
Hindi TV Shows
Anupamaa
