Amma is getting irritating !! - Page 7

Originally posted by: pallavi25

Benaras is not modern day India...Benaras is an old, traditional, historical city with ancient culture and deep seated traditions. We cannot compare Benaras with Mumbai, Delhi, Bangalore, Kolkata etc.

Sagarika was brought up in a more modern family so obviously she would have trouble adjusting in a traditional Benarasi family, plus she belongs to a different state too so cultural differences are also there.

But nowadays there are many multi-cultural marriages in big cities, yet the family and brides adjust with each other and adopt each other's customs.

Sagarika is trying her best to adjust.

But problem is with Ammaji, she wont adjust with Sags, she wont accept her at all...for the simple reason that shes violently jealous of Sagarika as her fav son Bunty loves Sags.

Originally posted by: pallavi25

Benaras is not modern day India...Benaras is an old, traditional, historical city with ancient culture and deep seated traditions. We cannot compare Benaras with Mumbai, Delhi, Bangalore, Kolkata etc.

Sagarika was brought up in a more modern family so obviously she would have trouble adjusting in a traditional Benarasi family, plus she belongs to a different state too so cultural differences are also there.

But nowadays there are many multi-cultural marriages in big cities, yet the family and brides adjust with each other and adopt each other's customs.

Sagarika is trying her best to adjust.

But problem is with Ammaji, she wont adjust with Sags, she wont accept her at all...for the simple reason that shes violently jealous of Sagarika as her fav son Bunty loves Sags.

Originally posted by: Missesha

Pallavi, you have put it well. The reason why I cannot appreciate this saas-bahu jodi is not because Ammaji has a traditional mind and wants Sags to follow their customs. But because Ammaji just does not want to make any efforts to understand Sags, since she was not her first choice.

I am very sure if Bunty had married Satya, Amma would not have interfered so much in Bunty's life. Rather she would have encouraged the two to spend time together time and again.

The reason why I feel Ammaji / show is backward is because whether in city or in small towns, MILs have started becoming flexible. While Amma is too adamant. No mother likes her son to be unhappy, even if she cares two hoots for her DIL. Here Amma is all about her commands. It's like her command should be everyone's wishes (including Bunty and babuji)

Some members have come up with real nice posts based on their experiences and I am definitely willing to give more time to the show.

Originally posted by: Blukitten

defenitely better than living with a mad MIL who used to sneak into their bedroom at night and taunt her 24/7 🥱 You dont know abt her life so better dont comment I have seen her mental torture from my own eyes...her hubby had called me up and given 3rd grade gaalies to her n her family for no reason I still have that recording.

There's nothing wrong in trial and error.If someone finds the right parther after 10 relationships there's nothing wrong in tht...who gave u right to sit on a moral pedestal and judge others !

MILs are not a baggage neither are DILs maid servants !

brainwashing and trainning DIL was justified when the bride was 14 and the groom was 16 not now when the bride is 25 and groom 28..They are adults so must be treated like adults

Adjustment has to be from the both sides...its wrong to expect an adult person to change completely just coz otherswnat her to...its a marriage not a freaking adoption !!

Joint families can exist if everyone is matured and give everyone their personal space...just because a person is older it dosent mean they are always right !

Amma is actually behaving like a bully...she shld act her age be matured

Originally posted by: pyaaribehna

I don't talk about it from the "moral" point of view. Just be practical and think about it. Abroad a divorce involves loss of money property etc to the husband.

What is more important? The husband's money/property loss or a woman's very existence and happiness? I dont understand how money and property loss is coming here? 😕 Do u mean he has to pay alimony to wife? That is mostly in western countries, in India very few divorced wives ask for alimony. And even if a husband pays alimony what is the problem with that? If hes cheated or mistreated the wife, then he shd pay alimony as compensation as it was HIS fault the marriage broke!

In India I do not know.But the taste it leaves in one's lives is bad.

This serial is set in India, in a small town. Since you dont know what goes on in households in India then I dont know why we are discussing this.

It is easier said than done. Ask the divorcees. How they go about the "next" time. One can easily say ten times one can try to find relationships.

How abt break off a failed marriage first time and then just leave it to Fate? If you are destined to meet someone better then u will...there are many divorcees nowadays of both genders, so its not a big deal to find a match again.

But in real life every broken relationship leaves a mark on the human being.

That is why in olden days people insisted on marrying only once. in our cultures.

In old days, wives were treated even more horribly but they were mostly uneducated and didnt have any other option but to put up with abusive husband and in laws. Most of the girls were married off as teens and had babies before they were 20!

So many complications arise with stepmothers and stepfathers and step brothers etc.

This is more common in western countries where people marry multiple times!

Not just in our culture but in every culture in every part of the world a broken marriage is something that leaves a scar in one's life.

This is not a moral point of view at all. Just practical.

Even in our culture it is accepted if a man "divorces" (mind you not the other way round) his wife and finds another girl. because man is considered "pure" no matter what.

That is the chauvinistic mindset of society which we shd try to change and if we cannot change then we shd ignore such disgusting mentality.

But the abandoned wife has a story and there are people on her side too who are angry with the guy for what he did. even in India even in olden days.

When one marries they expect to live happily ever after . No one goes into marriage thinking if this one does not work out I will try another time.

Im sure most Indian girls get married dreaming of happily ever after but sometimes reality is bitter and cruel and they have to take the step of divorce. Remarriage may or may not happen but that doesnt mean she has to languish and suffer in a horrible marriage!

Of course mad mother in laws and women who treat their DILs like maidservants interfering types those who barge into bedrooms I am not mentioning here.

But this serial is showing exactly that type of MIL so discussing mad MIL is valid here.

If one dares to defy tradition by marrying again then why did they go into a marriage where the MIL barges into bedrooms or throws sharp things at the DIL? These are offences that need to be reported to police. And no MIL should be doing this kind of thing.

In India most marriages are arranged, so how will the girl know beforehand that the MIL will be mad?

Did Sagarika ever suspect that Ammaji will be so psychotic abt her son?

I agree such MIL shd be reported to police but then the marriage breaks anyway because the son usually sides with his mother and breaks relations with wife who called cops on his mom.

I do not still understand how a person who can defy tradition and marry again gets into a marriage where MIL is so nasty as to enter bedrooms at night or throw sharp things at DIL. I am puzzled.

Originally posted by: Blukitten

Pyaribehna you are living in an euthopian idealistic world where a prefect girl meets a prefect boy with a perfect family and live happily ever after.

Sorry to break your bubble life is much more complex than that.

No one gets married with the aim of getting divorced...everyone wants their relationship to last forever.

But people change, their priorities change shit happnes ! In that case its better to seperate n stay happy rather than stay together n be miserable.

Btw I am staying in a western country n unlike the popular belief no body is a serial divorcee...even here ppl want happy family life n their family bonding is much stronger than Indians...

Unlike us they are not hippocrates they dont stay forcefully in an unhappy marriage for the sake of log kya kahenge.

Thats why their marriages are much happier.I know several couples here who are married for 20-30 years...Seriously I hate this ranting our culture is sooo great west is sooo bad ! Even they have "culture" which might be different from ours but its no way worse...there are good n bad in all cultures.We are def not the best !

Now coming to the divorcee stigma...really is that even a valid reason to stay in an abusive marriage ??

"Purity" is bullshit concept...thankfully nowdays mentality is changing so woman can live without this "stigma" it will improve further as the orthodox gen dies off.

Oh and I forgot to add onr very imp point according to Indian culture after the son has got married and has become responsible the parents are supposed to give up their worldly responsibilities and go on vanprastha( forest ashram) or pilgrimage...I am not saying saying tht all old ppl shld move to forest😆 but it symbolises that parents shld stop controlling their children's lives...Everyone conveniently forgets abt this part of our great culture

Originally posted by: pallavi25

I dont understand what ur saying here? Defy tradition and marry again? 😕 This is Sagarika's first marriage and she never suspected Ammaji would be such a terrible MIL.

Which girl would knowingly marry a boy whose mom is so nasty and twisted?

As for my anecdotes, both the girls I mentioned had arranged marriages so obviously they didnt know how the MIL would turn out to be.

Sagu married for Buntea's sake. She is ignorant as to how bad Amma could be . That point is true. Half the girls are not so knowledgible. about in laws in particular and world in general. Here Amma is restricting Buntea and Sagu which is surprsing because Sagu /Buntea married on their own not even arranged. And love you know does not see anything. Sagu what would she know? But yes she had a clue even before in the putting out the Diya incident. and before that the huge garland incident. She knew how they were. didn't she? And she fell in love with Buntea. Let's hope "love conquers" hopefully.