Posted:
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching. and live like it's heaven on earth.
Mark Twain
Mark Twain
The yearning in her heart:
In the begining I had sympathy for Bhouji, her situation was such that one could not feeling sad at her wasted life. She got married, with starry dreams like any other woman in her postion would and within hours was a widow. She crossed over the threshold of her husband's home and has remained there till this day. She brought up his two younger siblings, while taking over the running of the household. This is really admirable and very noble.
The fact she had a hard core and a pragmatic streak actually suits her, she needed those strengthe to see her through those early dark days. However, somewhere along the way, she either transferred her unrequited feelings for her husband to his younger brother or she developed feelings for him due to the proximity and intimacy of their situation.
Now this is where I have mixed feelings. Like everyone, I am pro-Avita and shooting daggers at anyone daring to even come between them and Bhouji's antics to date has not endeared her to me. On the other hand, especially after last night's episode, my initial feelings have come to the fore again. I feel sad and pity for her. Put yourself in her shoes, she has to stand by silently and watch Avdesh fall for a simple girl, one who seems not very brave or able to whether the intrigue of his life. she knows that she is the better choice, with her by his side he would go far and she would hold the fort. Yet his choice was Arpita and jealousy ate into Bhouji. She has to smile, laugh and be nice (when she can) to Arpita, all the while envy and loss was eating away at her soul. So every now and then, she lets loose and does whatever she can to fight for her love. A love that is hopeless but when has a person ever in love has accepted that the love they hanker for, yearn for and maybe have build dreams around is hopelessly out of their reach? Bhouji is a confident and extremely intelligent woman, it is natural as breathing to fight back for what she wants, to cling and claw at it till it is in her grasp. A part of me thinks, she relishes that challenge and feels very sure of herself. It may be that she thinks let him sow his wild oats, soon enough he will know who he truly belongs to.
Last night, I felt extremely sad for her as she watched Avita dance and enjoy while she stood on the fringes with a fake smile on her face. Her dreams shone in her eyes as she looked at them, the hopes she carefully tends to in her heart was so obvious to me and later on when she watched them talk and hug initmately, her pain was too much as indicated by the way she pulled on a decoration. She is consumed by her one-sided passion for him and it is colouring her finely honed judgement as she is making mistakes one after another (as per my post yesterday).
Any other person, with modicum of survival instinct, may opt to leave the place of their nightmare and hopeless dreams. But she is stuck here at the haveli, she had put so much of herself into the place to make it her home to bring it up to its present glory from the ashes of what it used to be and more she has invested a lot in Avdesh and she is not willing to turn her back on him. Yet. So she stands by and watches, her heart bleeding and yearning for what can never be and when the pain becomes too much she releases it through negative actions.
She is in fact human and very flawed, a fascinating woman who's goodness does shine through every now and then through the murky veil of lust that has her in tight grips. I hope that we will see her more humane side once the track to her downfall starts.
Love's full bloom:
On the other side, after a long time we had a very natural and very real scene. Avita faced with a room decorated for their SR, each faced their regrets and hurts for a special night that was ruined by a desperate woman's farce. Arpi at last showed her hurt over Avdesh's actions on the night of their first SR and Avdesh too showed how much he has grown since then. I found the scene very tender and heart wrenching but also full of love and hope for the future.
But once again I fear they doomed to not have their SR, Bhouji in an effort to get rid of her own personal demons is determined to spoil their night by making sure shikha has an accident. I guess this is what one calls 'killing two birds with one arrow' situation. She hopes Shikha loses the baby and at the same time Avita night is destroyed. I did say she is a very intelligent woman.
So what do you think of it?
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