FF Apni preet se mujhe rang de - Page 51

Chapter 30

Gulaal and kesar reached home...gulaal went in her room she was in deep thought she quickly closed her door and windows and sat thinking about kesar and her relationship... Gulaal kept conflicting with her feelings one thought in particular way kept running in her mind she felt a a strange tingling a odd stiiring

in herself?.

She said to herself "yeh kaise ahsaas hai?kya ho raha hai mujhe?.mere aur kesar k bech mein kya ho raha hai"

And then all the moment she spent with kesar snapped in her mind simultaneously...she remebered the frnship she felt for him wen they spend their lovely evening in the street she remebered the sense of being protected she felt wen he hugged her outside the reception she remembered the affection she felt for him wen he send those whilte lilies she remebered the compassion she felt for him in the dance class she remembered the gratitude she felt wen he returned her necklace and gave her his first cheque she remembered the warmth she felt wen he hugged her in the kitchen she remembered the burning desire the raw emotions the sensation wen he tocuhed her in her room she remembered the attraction she felt wen she nursed him she remembered her fear of losing him in the yacht

All these days the current of her feeling were so quiet and so mute that she didn't realize its depth until now they stirred immensely

She said to herself in nervousness "nahi...kuch nahi mere aur kesar k beech...kuch nahi ho sakta hum dunno k beech...meine kesar se deeyarvatto sirf vasant k sapne k liye k hai...yeh shaadi koi maayne nahi rakhti mere liye meine apne aap se vada kiya hai kabhi is rishte mein nahi bandhugi phir ab kyu..nahi rokkna hai mujhe...yeh sab thek nahi ho raha".

She struggled with her own feelings her own inner turnmoil..she decided to remain distant from kesar...but she was suspicious...never before she had suspected her own abilities but now she was fearful...her untamed emotions struggled within her heart..gulaal sat all the day in the darkness in turmoil and then she step out of her room...and she heard the stifled sobs and she followed the direction...gulaal saw talli was crying bitterly

Gulaal came in her room and fearfully asked "kya hua talli kyu ro rahi hai ho?"

Talli saw gulaal and shattered before her she said "gulaal kesar ne aisa kyu kiya"

Gulaal eyes widened and asked "kya kiya kesar ne"

Talli said "gulaal tumhe pata hai meine uske bday k liye kitne tayyari k thi meine jab use bday wish kiya tab bhi usne dhang se accept nahi kiya aur phir meine uske liye party bhi rakhi thi woo mujhe beech mein hi chod kar chala gaya"

And she cried

Gulaal asked "tumne kal uski liye party rakhi thi"?then she remebered talli had asked her to come to the party but it slipped her mind now gulaal was feeling guilty

Gulaal asked "kya tum kal busy thi"

Talli said while crying "nahi gulaal kal meine poora din kesar ka intzaar kiya aur usne aisa kiya mere saath mein kitna pyaar karti hun usese aur woo"

Gulaal embraced her...she remembered kesar had lied her that talli was busy...she was in deep thought

Gulaal looked at talli and said "koi baat nahi sab thek ho jayega"

Talli said "nahi gulaal kuch thek nahi hoga..aisa hi chalta raha to mein kesar k dil mein kabhi jagah nahi bana paungi"

Gulaal looked at her and said "tum log ek dusare ko pasand karte ho bas ehsaas hona baaki hai...talli mujhe lagta hai tum kesar k responsibilties lena shuru kardo...uske har choti badi jarurat ka khayal rakho...dheeme dheeme use tumahri aadat pad jaayegi aur phir wo khud tumhari importance reliaze karega"

Talli asked "sach mein"

Gulaal said sadly haan...talli hugged her but gulaal was sad gulaal was giving her right to her...she was grief-sticken

Next day gulaal left early in the morning kesar looked for gulaal and called her she said she is busy at work and will be late...talli served him breakfast and then kesar left with talli...gulaal made herself busy in the work...it was her strategy to control her emotions; to secure her promise by avoiding kesar

It continued for days...gulaal left the house before he wake and came late at night...seeing him only at dinner along with everyone and then quietly retire to her room..with an excuse of being tired.

Gulaal let talli do kesar's work serve him breakfast luch and dinner.and spend more time with him...initially kesar didn't relaized it but gradually he was getting hint...he was sensing her cold behaviour...he began to feel a change , gradual and perceptible and sure in gulaal...he was intensely hurt and disappointed..He was siezed with the sort of restlessness andd he decided to talk to her

It was night gulaal was cleaning dining table...all of sudden she realized kesar was standing behind her

Kesar said "mujhe tumse baat karni hai"

Gulaal glanced at him and noticed the intensity of his voice

Gulaal looked back and asked nervously "kya baat karni hai"

Kesar came near and looking straight into her eyes he asked "gulaal kya tum mujhse naaraz ho"

Gulaal was surprised and said "mein tumse naaraz kyu hogi"

Kesr hold her hand and asked "to phir aisa kyu kar rahi ho...kyu kuch din se itna alag behave kar rahi ho?mere jaagne se pehle ghar se chali jaati ho mere phone ko bhi reply nahi karti...raat mein bhi der se aati ho?aur mujhse baat bhi nahi karti?..

He paused and asked "tum door rehne k koshish kyu kar rahi ho?aisa kyu kar rahi ho gulaal kya kiya hai meine"

With vulnerability in his eyes he said "y r u doing this me?"

Gulaal looked at him deep down she was hurted with her own behaviour she knew she was cold but at this time avoiding him was the best

Gulaal removed her hand said aisa kuch nahi tum bekar hi soch rahe ho"

Gulaal said bas kaam ka pressure jyada hai aur kuch nahi

Kesar looked at her and said "koi baat nahi gulaal nahi batana to mat batao par tumhara yeh behaviour pata nahi kyu mujhe takleef de raha hai?

With wet eyes he said "its hurting me"

And then he left

Gulaal looked at him and remained silent..she had hurted him she was also vulnerable

Next day gulaal was in kitchen she was preparing breakfast and served everyone...rewa asked "bhabhi aaj kaam par nahi jaana"

Gulaal said "aaj ghar par hun kaam nahi hai"

kesar was quietly watching her gulaal was still avoiding his eyes and him

after the breakfast was over kesar said "gulaal agar aaj ghar par ho to mera wardrobe arrange kardena mera almirah poori tarah se mess hai plz arrange kar dena"

gulaal noded her head and kesar left for work

in the evening he returned and saw talli was sitting inside his room arranging his wardrobe

kesar was frustrated he asked "talli tum yanah kyu aayi ho"

talli looked at him and said "tumahari almirah aarange kar rahi thi"

kesar asked in anger par meine gulaal se kaha tha..tum kyu kar rahi hai ho

talli said haan par "gulaal ne mujhe kaha to"

kesar looked at her and said "talli tumhe pata hai meri privacy mein koi dhakal de mujhe bikul acha nahi lagta...so plz don't do it"

and then he left the room in anger

he went in the kitchen gulaal was working in the kitchen

kesar looked at her and said "tumhe agar almirah arrange nahi karti thi to mujhse kah deti mein kar leta par tumhe talli ko kyu kaha"

gulaal looked at him and said "kesar mein kitchen ka kaam kar rahi thi isliye talli se kah diya"

kesar said "koi jarurat nahi kissi aur se mera kaam karwaau...mein khud kar sakta hun"

gulaal said "par kesar talli parayi thodha naa hi aur phir kya problem hai meine kiya yaa talli ne kiya"

kesar looked back and said "problem hai gulaal...talli gulaal nahi hai"

gulaal looked at him and he left in anger and she kept thinking what kesar meant wen he said "talli gulaal nahi hai"

next day she was sitting in her hospital in deep thought she saw dr dushyant coming...dr dushyant was leaving for the medical camp in nearby village...gulaal volunteered to come...she then informed panba that she was leaving for three days and asked someone to send her luggage in the hospital...she thought by doing this she may come out of her inner-turmoil by creating the distances between her and kesar she will lessen the feeling towards him.and she left...for the health camp

kesar came in the night and looked for gulaal as he was rude to her previous day

he asked rewa "gulaal kanha hai"

rewa said "bhabhi medical camp mein teen din k liye gayi hain"

kesar was shocked to hear it "teen din aur usne mujhe kuch nahi bataya"

rewa said "achanak se jaana pada...wo hospital se hi nikal gaayi"

kesar looked at her in disbelief and asked "kanha gayi hai"

rewa said "pata nahi medical camp kanha lagega unhe bhi nahi malum"

kesar was shocked he said "pata bhi nahi kanha gaayi to jaane kyu diya?kanha hogi ache se pahunch gayi hogi k nahi"

kesar took ot the cell to dialled her number

rewa said "koi fayda nahi hai kesar unka cell nahi laga raha?.out of coverage area hai"

kesar was shocked numbed.

he resltessly went in his room and took out her pics and said "kyu gulaal kyu kiya tumne aisa?.kyu khud ko kitna door kar liya hai?mujhe batana bhi jaruri nahi samjha?mujhe kuch samaj nahi aa raha?mein ab teen din?kaise"

and a pain tore at his heart...he was in tears.those were the days of despair and pain so profound that made him powerless...he remained alone trying kiil time and overcome his lonilness he often sat on the edge of the second terrace of his house that had no boundary wall...staring endlessly at her photograph trying to grasp what was going on his mind trying to understand y he was hurt so much he hated himself being so helpless but the fire she had kindled in him was so powerful to quench...he was in absolute pain

gulaal was no exception all the colors drained from her face...kesar's thought never left her mind..how much she tried to supress it...it resurfaced with more intensity...the period of separation was unbearable..her heart swelled with pain..she was miserable...despite of her strong will how hopeless her attachment was with kesar...besides now that he had told her how much her cold attitude hurted him.. her sorrow had no limit...she cried oftenly looking at the moon and the sketch kesar had drawn

after three days...gulaal returned home...kesar was standing alone in the terrace and saw gulaal coming out of the car

gulaal looked upward and their eyes met..kesar's eyes sparkled he quickly ran down the stairs and gulaal rushed in the home

they ran for each other they came towards each other and stood a long minute facing each other over all they didn't said anything but they have reached the point where they were equally weak they both looked each other with the increased breath In the eyes there arouse a longing and tenderness love so deep that the sight of it can soften the hardest and sternest substance of nature

Chapter 31

Kesar wanted to hug her..had he hugged her she would have melted right away but they'd ended up in tears clinging to
each other like the lost souls they were...kesar was about to say something but then panba and other family member came and greeted gulaal.gulaal walked towards the family member leaving kesar.

After spending few minutes with the family gulaal went in her room...she was unpacking her luggage

Kesar came in her room

Gulaal looked at kesar for a sec and then resumed her work

Kesar said "gulaal tum kanha chali gayi thi"

Gulaal replied "medical camp laga hua tha dr dushyant aur meine apne hospital k taraf se attend karne gaye the"

Kesar said "par tumne bataya bhi nahi"

Gulaal replied coldly "mein doctor hun kesar achanak kaam se bahar jaana padta hai..mein haar baar to nahi bata sakti"

Kesar paused for a sec and said "tumhara cellphone bhi nahi lag raha tha"

Gulaal said "haan woo out of coverage area tha"

Then kesar said hesistatedly "meine tumhe bahoot miss kiya...did u missed me?"

Gulaal didn't said anything she looked at him and turned her face and said "sirf teen din k liye hi to gayi thi teen din mein kyu miss karungi?kya farq padta hai"

Kesar was hurt to hear it he said "haan sirf teen din the..kya farq padta hai un teen din mein 72 hrs , 4320 min ya 259200 seconds the...kya farq padta hai dil 1 min mein 72 baar dhakta hai...aur kya far padta hai k har dhadkan k saath meine sirf tumhe yaad kiya...kya farq padta hai gulaal"

And then he left the place

Gulaal was in tears she said "yeh baat mujhse jyaada aur kaun jaan sakta hai"and she was shattered

Kesar was in his office he was very upset about her behaviour he was puzzled frustrated irritated at the same time...he was not able to understand y gulaal was behaving in this manner...kesar was enraged and decided to talk to her

He left the office...yogesh came and asked kesar kanha jaa raha ho

Kesar said "yogeshbha aap office ka kaam sambhal lena mein gulaal se milne jaa raha hai"

"Gulaal is waqt hospital mein hogi" he thought and then he drove to hospital

He reached the hospital and headed towards her cabin

In between he heard the dr dushyat talking to someone over gulaal and he stopped andstood outside dushyant's cabin

Doctor dushyant was having a heated argument with his close friend

Dr dushyant friend said "bas dushyant tu gulaal ko bhul jaa aur kisi achi ladki se shaadi karle...tujhe pata hai aunty aur uncle ko kitne fikr rehti hai teri..ek se ek rishte laaye hai tere liye aur tune sabko manaa kar diya..bas dushyant ab apni zindagi mein aage badh"

Dushyant said "yeh mumkeen nahi hai

His friend said "mumkeen hai tu gulaal ko bhul jaa"

Duhsyant said in the raise voice "kaise bhul jao batao mujhe pechle panch saal se mein usese pyaar karta aa raha hun mein sirf use chaha hai...college se uske alawa aur kisi k baare mein nahi socha kaise bhul jao use"

Kesar was shocked to hear it

He said "meine usko bhulne k koshish ki thi jab uski jindagi mein vasant tha...apne dil ko samjha liya tha meine phir jab vasant nahi tha to socha shayyad bhagwaan ne mujhe apne pyaar ko waapas paane ka ek mauka diya hai...mein to usese apni shaadi k baat bhi karne waala tha...par phir kesar aa gaya aur mere sapne phir tut gaye"

His friend said "haan isliye kah raha hun uska intzaar karna bekar hai...woo kisi aur k patni hai ab...kesar aur gulaal k shaadi ho chuki hai tu samjhata kyu nahi hai"

Dushyant replied "kaise shaadi..woo bhi koi shaadi hui...jabardasti gulaal k maang mein sindoor bhar diya to ho gayi shaadi jabardasti k rishte shaadi nahi kehlaate."

Kesar was listening the whole conversation a anger was creeping in him

Dushyant continued aur phir kesar uski koi umar thi shaadi karni k..are woo to bacha hai..just a kid...woo kya shaadi ko samajhega...gulaal ne khud kaha tha yeh shaadi us par thopi gaayi hai...to tum hi batao mein kyu nahi uska intzaar karu?kyu nahi?

Kesar heard it and left the place in anger...he was shocked and blank he didn't know how to react...thorughout the day he kept thinking about the conversation..

He came home late night...gulaal was waiting for him...gulaal knew kesar didn't had his breakfast...

Kesar looked at her and quietly started walking away

Gulaal looked at him and stopped him "kesar dinner karlo"

Kesar looked at her and said "mujhe bhuk nahi hai"

Gulaal said "karlo kesar meine bhi kuch nahi khaya hai..dinner saath lete hai"

Kesar didn't said anything and quielty sat for dinner

Gulaal served him...gulaal was having her dinner but kesar didn't eat he was lost in his thought

Gulaal looked at him and asked "kya hua kesar khaa kyu nahi rahe..kuch soch rahe ho"

Kesar looked at her and said "nahi kuch nahi"

Kesar then said in low voice "tum doctor dushyant ko pehle se jaanti ho"

Gulaal asked "dr dushyant k baare mein kyu puch rahe ho"

Kesar said "bas aisi hi woo aaj yuhi mil gaye the...tum unhe pehle se jaant ho"

Gulaal smiled and said "haan hum ek hi college mein padhe hain woo ek saal senior the mujhse...bahoot ache insaan hain.infact unhone hi mujhe modi hospital mein job dilvaayi thi"

Kesar looked at her and asked "bahoot ache se jaant ho unhe"

Gulaal said woo mere senior hi nahi mere guru jaise hai bahoot kuch seekha hai unse meine bahoot respect karti hun unki...he is very nice

Kesar took a deep breath and said "dr dushyant shaadi kyu nahi ki abhi tak"

Gulaal said "pata nahi kyu nahi ki...infact hospital mein bhi sab yahi kete hai..k woo shaadi kyu nahi kar rahe...waise mujhe lagta hai woo kisi ko pasand karte hai"

Kesar remained silent

Gulaal said "doctor duhsyant to itne ache insaan hai k unse koi bhi ladki shaadi k liye turant tayyar ho jaye...har woo quality jo ek ladki apne jeevansaathi mein chahiti hai woo sab hai unme hai...sach mein unhe koi manaa nahi kar sakta hai...he is a perfect man"

Kesar couldn't not take it any more...his anger reached the highest point?he was holding a glass he grasped it so tightly that it broke and blood came out of his hand

Gulaal looked at it and was terrified and said "yeh kya kiya kesar...kitna khoon bah raha hai"

And she took his hand in her hand and tooke her to her bedroom she took out the first aid box and nursed him...while putting the bandage "khoon kaise nikala"

Kesar said "kuch nahi glass thodi zor se pakkad liya tha toot gaya"

Gulaal said "jarurat kya thi itni jor se pakkadne k?..tum bhi naa bacho jaise harkat karte ho"

Kesar lost his control...he grabbed her hand and said in raise voice "y do u think I m a kid?"

Gulaal was surprised by his reaction she said "kesar"

But kesar was still in anger he continued "tumhe mein bacha nazar aata hun"

Gulaal said in frightened whisper "nahi mera woo matlab nahi tha"

Kesar grabbed he with arms and said "just look at me mein 21 saal ka hun apni saari responsibilty nibhana aata hai mujhe...apne saare faisle khud karta hun...so don't u dare give me that treatment"

And he left her in anger...leaving gulaal puzzled and heartbroken