Part 44 – Trial of Love
Akshat groaned and slammed his laptop shut, annoyed. He could feel Karan snickering at him at his miserable state. That damned punk! It had been three months since Guddan disappeared and he couldn’t even get a single clue about her whereabouts. He actually had Karan tailed on more than a few occasions but in the end, he always outsmarted him. Heck, he had all the lines in Jindal mansion tapped in case Guddan ever called but to no avail.
And one day, he caught his mother smiling over the phone and snatched it but the person on the other side didn’t even breathe a word! It must have been Guddan because it was a private no. that could not be traced. Just great!
Deciding that sitting idle in the room will do him no good, Akshat stepped into the balcony where he and Guddan had shared many a moments. He sighed. If only she would have given him a chance!
It was when he was mulling over his bad luck, the main door was thrown open. He strained his neck to seethe visitor but couldn’t. But his eyes managed to notice how his three bahus who had been rushing about till now stopped dead in their tracks and had their eyes transfixed at the door.
G-Guddan?!
With a strong feeling building in his gut, Akshat rushed down the stairs and joined the trio in the hall.
“Guddan beta!”
Akshat couldn’t believe his eyes as he saw his mother rush past him and envelope the familiar woman in her frail old arms.
“Dadi,kesi hain aap?” Guddan smiled hugging her back.
The corner of his lips perked up of their own accord as he relished that smile and that voice he had been yearning for the past three months. He clenched his chest as the bahus greeted Guddan and she returned their gesture with same intensity.
He thought that she had walked out on him never to return. That sinking feeling he battled with each day was all for naught, for she had returned.
Once Guddan was done, her eyes instinctively went searching for that one person and their eyes met. Akshat was smiling at her as relief swept over him. She looked different. With her hair tied in high pony, adorned in a beautiful knee length floral dress, Akshat couldn’t help but gawk at her.
Snapping out of his daze, he steeled his nerves and was approaching her when Durga’s voice interrupted him.
“Who is this?” Durga focussed her eyes behind Guddan as the person chuckled and stepped beside Guddan to come into the view.
“I thought my self-respect will still have to take more severe blows!” The man smiled.
Akshat stopped few steps away as he looked at the man dressed in a casual white T shirt and blue jeans.
“Arre,I forgot!” Guddan slapped her forehead and signaled to the man, “This is Vi…”
“ ‘The Viraj Kapoor!’” Lakshmi squealed like fan girl.
Dadi looked puzzled at the man when a light bulb lit up in Saru’s head and she clicked her fingers in realization, “If he isn’t saasu maa’s co-actor from her show ‘It’s complicated’?!”
“That will be me!”, Viraj agreed half amused.
While Akshat got confused. Show? Co-actor?
“I have watched your performance and I really like your character of Arnav”, Durga joined in the conversation putting her two cents.
“I am honoured to know that!” Viraj bowed making all the woman in the room smile.
“Now wait a second Viraj! You can’t do that!” Guddan punched his shoulder, chiding him.
“Ouch!What did I do?” Viraj feigned pain as he massaged his shoulder.
“You have not yet stepped into the house properly and you are already flirting with my bahu?!” Guddan narrowed her eyes at him.
“Bahu?!” A wide eyed Viraj turned to the women in question and looked over them in amazement. “Your being a saas in this age is a wonder enough, now you have three bahus that look nothing but your big sisters! I am really envious of the lucky men who have these gorgeous women as their wives!”
Guddan couldn’t help but shake her head at Viraj’s what he calls as ‘Aadat’. Viraj is a natural flirt and a born charmer. Every line he speaks is nothing short of a pick-up line.
“You can postpone your sweet talks for later! Let me introduce you to everyone” And with that Guddan introduced Viraj to Dadi as he touched her feet and she blessed him.Then he greeted the trio by folding his hands and finally came Akshat’s turn.
“Who might he be?” Viraj pointed to Akshat as the smile on Guddan’s face suddenly changed.
“He is Mr. Akshat Jindal….my husband…”
“Oh! So he is your hus…..” The smile from Viraj’s lips totally disappeared and the hand he had forwarded for handshake stopped midway.
As Akshat tilted his head confused, Viraj regained his composure and switched back to his charmer mode. “A plea-pleasure to meet you, Mr. Jindal”.
Akshat nodded with a small smile of his own and looked back at Guddan hopefully, who tore her gaze away before he could let out another word.
“Dadi,who kya hai na…for the next few days we will be shooting in Indore so I thought that Viraj should stay with us…” Guddan trailed trying to ignore someone’s gaze pricking the back of her neck.
“Ofcourse beta! You don’t have to ask for permission. This is your house and he is your friend. He is most welcome to stay”.
Guddan smiled in response and lead Viraj to a guestroom whilst Akshat decided to wait till she was alone.
He had questions but no answers. Shooting? Next few days?! What exactly was happening?!
During lunch, as everyone settled down, Akshat glanced at Guddan every other second trying to come up with something to talk about but was failing miserably. Everyone at the table was going on about some show, Viraj’s character, Guddan’s acting and what not.From what Akshat could gather, Guddan had been shooting for a TV show for the past three months and Viraj was currently acting opposite her.
“So…Mr. Jindal, how did you like Guddan’s acting in the show?” Viraj popped the question at Akshat out of the blue.
The table went silent as everyone exchanged glances while Akshat coughed trying to come up with something. He possibly couldn’t tell Viraj that he had no clue about Guddan’s acting venture despite being her husband. He possibly couldn’t make a spectacle out of their relationship by telling him that everyone in the house was aware except him. He already had a mess to clear and so had no intentions of making the situation worse.
“That…actually…..” Akshat fumbled for words when Guddan pitched in for him.
“He….is not really interested in these things. He rarely watches television so…”
Akshat turned to Guddan thankfully but she just brushed him off. He couldn’t even complain. She was angry. She had all the rights to be.
“Ok…but still you’d think that he’ll just try to watch a few episodes because it’s his wife’s first venture…” Viraj shrugged and started eating while Akshat stole a glance at Guddan who was fiddling with her spoon in a trance.
‘I am sorry Guddan for being a failure as a husband. I am so sorry..’ Akshat extended his hand to console her but couldn’t go further and pulled them back.
He had to apologise first. Everything else could be dealt with later.
Throughout the day Akshat tried to catch Guddan alone but she managed to evade him. Day changed to night and soon everyone went to bed except for Guddan who was strolling around the gardens with Viraj. But Akshat patiently waited and when Viraj finally turned in for the night, Akshat waited with abated breath as Guddan ascended the stairs and then…
She passed right by their room!
Shocked, Akshat hurried out of his room and catching Guddan’s wrist, stopped her.
“Where are you going?!”He asked perplexed.
“Hum….sone jaa rahe hain”, Guddan replied, pointing to the other room.
“But our room…” Akshat had started when he realized what exactly had happened three months back.
“We-e need to talk Guddan..”
“Can we do that tomorrow? I-I am tired”, Guddan replied as she started to caress her arms uneasily.
Akshat nodded half-heartedly as she turned around to leave.
“That’s your biggest problem dude! You think too much! She had so simply confessed to you. You had to do the same but nhi, you had to overthink!”
At that moment Karan’s words rung in his ears and he caught her wrist yet again, “Nhi Guddan….we need to talk right away. It’s very urgent”.
Guddan breathed in deeply and as she opened her eyes, Akshat dropped to the floor on his knees.
“Ye aap kya…”
“I am sorry Guddan. I am very sorry. I never intended to hurt you, trust me when I say that. I was very confused and overwhelmed by my own emotions that I couldn’t properly respond to your feelings. You tried to reach out to me but I pushed you away. I was in denial of the things you made me feel. Whatever I said that day were just some words spoken out of desperation and nothing more. I didn’t mean any of that. And before I could reach back to you, you’d already left. And that Karan refused to tell me anything about you. Every day for the past three months I have done nothing but figure out ways to bring you back into my life.I-I may have loved Antara but the truth is that I lo…”
“Ruk jaiye!” Guddan interrupted him suddenly as she had her eyes clenched shut.
“Why did you stop me?” Akshat asked perplexed as he got back to his feet.
Guddan opened her eyes and looked back at him with determination, “Because you don’t need to apologise. It was never your fault to begin with. You were just being honest about your feelings when I was simply trying to smother you with them…”
“Nhi Guddan, aisa nh…”
“Let me speak- I am not angry in the least with you. I’ve made peace with the truth.And you didn’t really speak all that much that day- just a few lines showing me the reality while I overreacted like a child”, Guddan smiled slightly as Akshat started shaking his head.
“I left not because I was angry but because I was offered a role in a show. I just needed to organize my thoughts so you don’t have to blame yourself because I am not angry with you. At All”
“Then why are you going to sleep in another room?” Akshat asked fisting his fingers.
“Abhi kaha toh maine- I’ve made peace with the truth. You are my husband and this here is my family, nothing will ever change that. But now I’ve opened my eyes to my responsibilities too”
“Responsibilities?!” Akshat repeated after her confused.
“Haan…as your wife, it is my responsibility to respect your thoughts and choices. You made your choice that day so how can I burden you?!”
“Youare not understanding at all, damn it!” Akshat shouted clutching his hair exasperated.
“Whatever I said that day wasn’t the truth! Jitna ye sach hai ki hum dono pati-patni hai,utna hi ye bhi sach hai ki main tumse pyaar karta hu!”
“Nhi,you don’t love me. You are just forcing yourself to return my feelings out of goodwill. You don’t have to anymore because I’ve come to realize that I misunderstood my feelings as love”
“W-what?” Akshat stumbled a step back, shocked.
“Haan,you were the first man in my love and husband to top it off. Uske baad aapka acha behaviour aur…we’d spent so much time together that I developed a habit of you. And my stupid naïve heart named that habit as love. But I’m clear now!” Guddan smiled while Akshat felt his heart clench.
“Clear now?! Are you kidding me!” Enraged Akshat pulled Guddan closer by pressing her arms, “And you say you are not angry?This indifference…this nonchalance…it’s not my Guddan…it’s not! You are punishing me, right?! I mean…you sound so…sincere that it’s unnerving. You seem so distant. And what you’re calling as realization is not realization but denial!You are fooling yourself to protect your heart!”
“Nhi….It is realization only”, Guddan replied softly as she pushed his arms off her and backed away from him.
“You don’t have to beat yourself anymore. It’s all in the past. Good night”.
And with that Guddan turned away from him and walked into her room.
“Who are you messing with?! Are my words the reason you’ve closed your heart, Guddan? Is my foolishness the reason you refused to accept my love even when I’ve said it out aloud?! No….I won’t let my mistakes smear your innocent heart with pain. This mask of indifference…I’ll break through it and get my feelings across. Galti maine ki hai toh uska solution bhi karunga. I won’t let my love go away from me, this time. That’s a promise, Guddan. I love you, Guddan. I love you”, Akshat clenched his teeth in a resolve.
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