Disclaimer: This is to just evoke fun and laughter. I respect masseuses a lot because they have power to put me into sleep just within minutes with the magic of their hands. And I love Pheobe Buffay and her ministrations while massaging. This story is inspired a bit from the episode where she gives back massage to Monika and the sounds she makes 🤣
Characters will be objectified deliberately to evoke laughter.
CN Living room:
Virat is coming down to living room, more than before but only if he finds time after his never ending physio therapy sessions with the wife.
To everyone's surprise, his body started aching in every other part after the actual fractured hand has undergone physiotherapy. He complained of pain in the other hand, then back, then legs! And today everyohne is eager to see which body part has started to ache. BK is sure that something is brewing between the patient and his therapist but his perennial bad mood against them kept her from prodding more.
"Virat.", BK greeted him that morning "How is your pain Beta. I hope you have no further side effects, again today.", she questioned him with slight hint of sarcasm.
Virat got it right away that he was caught by his Kaku. If not for this kingly treatment he is receiving at home now a days, he clearly knows his Kaku would have not allowed these physio therapy session anymore than required or sent him to actual physiotherapist outside CN. He recalled his anger and asked her back, though with a slight quiver in his voice.
"Why kaku? you dont want me to recover fully?. You are the one who suggested this in house physio. Now I am having all these side effects in my body. Only she knows what is happening. So what should I do? You can call another physiotherapist if you want?" he offered, by mistake.
Sai came down just then casting a naughty look at her husband.
"Virat sir! I will come back from college and we will start our next session with you back. You said it is aching more on the side now", she asked clearly flirting with him.
Virat immediately looked at BK to see her response, who as he predicted rolled her eyes.
"Dear Doctor Sahiba! Thanks for your services. You are introducing new pains in him now. What are these side effects.? Are you fooling us?", she demanded.
Sai looked at Virat with "hand caught in cookie jar look" on both their faces. She immediately countered with an audible tremble in her voice "Kaku, the original pain in the hand is gone. Ask him?"., she said pointing out to her husband to which he parroted "Yes yes. But...", he tried to find the right excuses.
"But... what?", seethed BK
"But, it is normal that muscles move and disturb the neighboring muscles so he might have side effects", said Sai covering for her husband and praying Bappa not to punish her in her exams for these blatant lies.
When both were lost in their own dreams of next physio session over the left over body parts that will be having potential side effects, Pakhi hissed from behind.
"Dont worry Sai. Your services are no more needed. I asked your Dada to call one of the famous physio therapists to get an opinion on these side effects. So he might be coming in an hour or so", she said clearly flying high for dousing Sai's plans.
"I am fineee!. I dont want any other physiotherapist", retorted Virat. "You don't have to take decisions for me"
"Not me Virat. your Jeeva thinks you need second opinion", said Pakhi alerting Samrat who is making his own plans to seduce his wife. "How about physio therapy to Pakhi in my hands.. for that first I need to make sure she trips and falls....just a little ..", he was thinking silently when Pakhi's voice bullied him out of his mind.
"Yes Patralekha, I already called him", he reported to her. "See!he is here", he pointed to the physiotherapist Dr. Chanchad and welcomed him into the house.
Virat and Sai looked at each other, life drained from their faces. They are only this close to take their physio therapy session into fruition and Dr. Chanchad and Pakhi might ruin their plans. Moreover, Sai is in ever pleasing mode with all family members including Pakhi to his discomfort. She will be ready to do their bidding much to his disgust.
"Mr. Salunkhe, how are you? You said your brother needs some checking?", asked Dr. Chanchad looking around to spot the patient.
Virat was about to leave the place, when Pakhi pointed him to the doctor. Sai explained Dr. Chanchad how she helped him with his arm pain elaborating on the techniques used in technical terms. When she stopped, Pakhi started.
"Doctor, this MBBS student here says that there are side effects to this treatment and hence the patient keeps getting pain in other areas. Can you enlighten us on such side effects." , she said trying to pour all the decency she ever had into her words.
To Sai's and Virat's relief, Dr. Chanchad said "there might be occasional spasms here and there after physiotherapy treatment. So to relieve such discomfort, one can go for regular massages, like we get in SPAs" he suggested.
Virat eyed Sai, Pakhi eyed Virat and Samrat eyed Pakhi on that piece of information.
Just when the doctor left, Virat felt sudden pain in his back! "Ouch Kaku, I think my back is again aching. Not sure for how long...", he whined looking at Sai.
"Virat! Till now you were fine, the doctor also said you are fine. How come you got the back ache suddenly", prodded BK having enough of his tantrums now.
"OK so now I cannot say about my pain openly in this house", bickered Virat "Thats why I wanted to go away", he started.
"OK OK", said BK calming herself down and berating her fate to see a day where she had to beg her children instead of commanding them "Lets find a nice massage person and ask them to come home", she said.
"Badi mami! The person who does massages is called a Masseuse. And you dont have to look outside.", she said unable to control her eagerness in putting her plan into action. "I am a certified masseuse", she declared out of the blue.
"Kyaaa?!!", everyone reacted in chorus.
"This is a news to me Patralekha", jumped Samrat at his wife's unique skill. "When did you learn?", he asked enthusiastically.
"Woh, when I went to a yoga retreat....", she started making everyone shudder for a second. "Few years back when I was in college", she said trying to make the environment more conducive.
"But why do you train to be masseuse Pakhi didi?" asked Sai "Did you plan to open a SPA or something? Then why didnt you open ...", Sai tried to ask logical questions to which Pakhi interrupted.
"Why would I open a SPA? I learnt it because I enjoyed massages", she said outlandishly.
"Oh!! so you learnt massages so you could massage yourself?" Sai asked hiding her laugh.
"I leant it so I can massage...", she spoke while glancing a hopeful Samrat who made her nervous so she said "So that I can massage my parents and elders and ...."
"Wah. This is called Shahannu kuli Maratha girl. They use all their skills for their family.", BK said proudly.
"Patralekha! you are really God sent DIL for me. My knees were hurting from last week and I was massaging myself for quite sometime now. I am sure you know how to do it better. Can you do this service for your Badi mami.", she asked rather casually and joked. "Dont worry, your Badi mami will pay back you with lots of gifts!"
Pakhi was dumbstruck but faked with her sweetest smile. "Badi mami! But I dont know how to massage knees", she said trying to avoid the unexpected requests.
"Head then?" asked sonali "I love head massages Patralekha! It helps with my hair too! The parlour ladies take thousands of rupees for an hour. When we have certified masseuse at home, why should we waste our money, dhan, daulat. Ho vahini?, suggested Sonali asking BK for support.
"Yes yes", BK said. "Patralekha can do it"
"No Sonali mami, head massage is a different territory. I learnt to do only back massages.",Pakhi corrected. "And it is not advisable to touch any other part other than you specialization", she said trying to make sense.
Sonali easily sensed the motive behind her plan so she played with her a little more.
"Wow then you should try it on Ashwini Vahini. Poor thing she always complains about back ache. afterall she is the one who works a lot in this house.", she suggested rather enthusiastically. "You will massage Virat's Aai right Patralekha?", she added the much needed push.
"Ofcourse ofcourse! I will but first we need to give massage to the people who are in need", she said looking at Virat.
"I dont need any massage, my back is fine", barked Virat and ran to his room without turning back.
Disappointed but not discouraged Pakhi approached BK.
"Badi mami, I am very good at giving back massages.", she reasoned.
"And I am very good at breaking bones", sai said with full intention but mellowed down a bit and said "My dad sent me to Karate classes during holiday breaks. When you said about you masseuse training I remembered by those classes.", she said rubbing her wrists and stretching her arms.
"Sai, do you think I didnt understand your words", Pakhi taunted sarcastically "Like Badi mami, I think about the well being of all my family members. Just like I will do back massage for Ashwini Mami, I will do it for her son, she said. And for your information, I will do it on clothes. So don't worry", she proclaimed.
"This is good!", backed up BK to Sai's surprise. "Hey jungli mulgi you always see Pakhi with wrong lens. She is such a caring soul just like me!", she said to which Sonali smacked her forehead with a loud snap. "What happened Sonali, you dont agree with me?", BK asked responding to her snap.
"Ho na Vahini. You are a genius. You know how to put people in wrong places..", she spoke the truth later correcting "I meant you show people their right place when they are wrong", she said pointing to Sai but looking at Pakhi.
"Ok then...Patralekha...you", she was about to give her blessings to Pakhi when Sai interrupted.
"Kaku, I dont want to put my husband's back at risk without knowing Pakhi didi's proficiency. Just like I had attended workshop for physiotherapy, let Pakhi didi prove her mettle by doing a small workshop at home. Let her give massages to few of us first and then we can decide.", she suggested. to which Samrat immediately bellowed "Yes Sai is right" multiple times like a maniac till BK had to agree to make him stop!
"Patralekha, I dont want to put you through the test. But just to stop this jungli mulgi from humiliating you, you have to prove your worth by giving some massages.", BK requested.
"Ofcourse Badi mami, any means to achieve my goal", she blabbered her thoughts out and then corrected "I meant anything for my family..Virat's health is our goal", she said biting her tongue which keeps slipping all the time.
From that day onwards, everyone had good time having back massages from Pakhi. First was BK's turn, then Ashwini's and then Sonali's. Mansi felt bad seeing her DIL giving so many massages so she sacrificed her spot for her son hoping that a massage can turn miracle in his life. Ashwini did not like to get it done from Pakhi, but any kind of massage feels good so she succumbed. BK and Sonali didnt want to let go of the massages, so they went for 3-4 rounds a day. Samrat was eagerly waiting for his turn, which appeared to be distant looking at the way the older ladies were in the loop.
Then the day finally arrived when all the ladies certified Pakhi as a good masseuse who can help Virat recover. But Sai said she needs to pass the final exam by giving her a massage so she will evaluate whether Pakhi is applying good amount of pressure at the right spots or not. "afterall it is the matter of my husband's falaudi body which I dont want to compromise on", she boasted shyly. "Kyun Pakhi didi, will you be able to pass my test.?", she challenged flicking her eyebrows.
Knowing that she already has BK's blessings, Pakhi taunted casually "Ofcourse Sai, I will let you get the pleasure of my massage. And free Virat's pains forever. He was getting all these side effects because of an untrained physiotherapist.", she mocked.
Hence it happened on that evening, Pakhi entered Sai's bedroom to give her ultimate test! Sai offered her some oil, much to Pakhi's delight! So she wants me to do oil massage! "No clothes", she thought excitedly.
Sai removed her top and lied on her stomach on the bed. She unbuckled her bra so Pakhi has good access to her back. What neither of them noticed is the peeping tom who just entered his room, and seeing the vision unfolding in front of him, silently retreated to his bathroom and peeked through the door. "What the hell!!", he thought clearing the sweat running down his forehead.
"OH God Pakhi didi! you are too good!", started off Sai and the sounds only grew wilder and wilder. "Oos and Aahs are clearly sounding amorous making Pakhi more excited. She put all her might into winning her reward after this final exam. Sai is encouraging too. "Just there. Yes! Little harder." she screamed.
The person in the bathroom is now on the floor but his mind is flying somewhere in the clouds! He is feeling light in the mind and heavy in the body. He decided what to do next....
half an hour later, the most pleasurable massage ended. Sai was about to enter into slumber when Pakhi spat on her back to wake her up. Sai strapped her bra, put her kurta and turned around.
"Pakhi didi! You finished. I wanted one more round", she pouted. "But..."
"Badi mami!". Pakhi ran out of the room "I passed with flying colors! Sai wanted second round from me! Yay yay yay"
Just when the masseuse is out, the peeping tom came out of the bathroom and declared. "Sai, my back hurts and I need the exact same massage..", he ordered.
Sai smiled at him and shyly went to close the door.
Few minutes later, Pakhi fetched BK to convince Virat for the back massage when they were greeted with the same familiar sounds from Sai that Pakhi heard few minutes back. BK was shocked and Pakhi was Confused. Pakhi knocked the door almost bringing it down while BK suggested they should go back.
Virat answered the door fully clad in clothes, much to BK's surprise after hearing such sounds. While she was trying to estimate what was going inside, Pakhi started shooting questions, trying to get a peek inside the bedroom over his shoulder.
"Whats happening Viraaat?!", she questioned with disbelief.
"I was showing Sai how to give back massage to me .", Virat clarified.
"And how are you showing her?", Pakhi questioned rather accusingly.
"with my two hands", Virat showed lifting his oily hands candidly.
"But why Viraaat?. I am the masseuse. I would have ....", Pakhi said covering her mouth. "Viraaat you cheated me again! dhokebaaz", she started hissing to which Virat closed the door and locked it. He made sure he pulled the curtains to cover any keyholes.
Pakhi turned around to see that BK had already left. She came running down to the gathered family in living room.
"Badi mami, did you see whats happening?", Pakhi screamed to the audience.
Everyone is worried seeing Pakhi like that so they all asked BK what happened.
"Virat is giving Sai back massage", BK said sipping the tea.
"Bappa! aapka khoob khoob abaar", said Ashwini rushing to Bappa to offer him Aarthi.
"Dado Sutto! How sexy!", squealed Karishma to which Mohit signaled her to follow him into their bedroom.
"Are deva! Mast a Mast Vahini", Sonali cheered shaking up BK.
Pakhi was confused at their responses so she asked BK again trying to be as clear as she could be.
"Badi mami! What is this happening under this roof. Virat is giving massage to his physiotherapist.", she spoke pleading BK to see the inevitable outcome of this situation.
Samrat smacked his forehead now! "Patralekha! Sai is Virat's wife. Not his physio therapist", he said finally losing all his interest in the massage.
"Samraaaat", nodded disapprovingly at her husband.
CID
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