Who is right or wrong here? I posted this in another topic but I thought I should make another topic for my views on who is right vs who is wrong.
I dont think anyone is wrong here, we all speak from what we see Sai go through and our personal experiences as well.
Sai is an 18 year old who has been through SO much. She's faced harrassment, the death of her world (her aba), the anticipation of her dreams coming true or now, etc. When she first appeared in her sasural, she was quite and timid yet spoke up when needed w/o yelling, however, as time passed by, they started to get cruel and cruel w her ..taking enjoyment from her pain. As an 18 yr old and as a human, you are bound to react after having to hear something everyday that gives you pain. She is not in the position to understand what Virat or anyone says. Shivani bua stood w her and gave her the gloves for her pain ...one can see she was staring at the gloves and told aai about it too and showed it to her well. As a result, she has a connection and attachment for shivani bua. she will save her from everything bc shivani bua is showing her love and care. Which any human needs esp someone who has been through so much. Because the gharwala yells at her so much and keeps taunting her, shes reacting like a child - speaking back in the same tone to get them to stop. What she doesn't realize is that this will not work, but how can she realize this? She hasn't been exposed to such understanding and realization. This is where Virat is wrong. Sai needs a mentor, a guide - not even him can help bc it's about his family so ofc she will think he is biased. This is WHY she doesn't listen to him. Had Sai had a mentor and experiences, she will learn herself. How matured were we when we were 18? heck, i was not matured. I have learned a lot after college and my experiences at work. I can now say at 29, im a different woman than at 18. If someone asked me to get married at 18, I def would have reacted just like Sai at any point if someone messed w me. I was the same way. I had zero skills on how to use tact. Experiences and life has taught me what Virat is trying to teach Sai now. It is important to speak up, it is, but there's away and if that way is w pyaar se, then use that first. Then if it gets to much, use your voice. But don't get into yeling mode the moment someone starts w you. What he doesnt realize is that she DOES do this and he enters the convo half way ...the entire house blames her and then taunts him as a result. He doesnt like the insults hurled at her so he thinks IF she stayed quiet then it would stop and she can focus on her studies and maybe him! Will that really stop the problem? NO!
She needs to speak up and he has said she can and should to but tareeka galat hain ...again, she's just 18. She will learn as she gets new experiences.. At 18, i was onl concerned w school and ghar ka kaam to help mom ..not using tact to tlk to people. I was taught to respect elders (which Sai does) but i never faced a family like the chavans ...if we ever did, im sure we either would have moved out or done exactly what she is doing ..reacting.
Virat is right and wrong here. She does need to calm down and always not be in the angry young woman mode but at the same time, "kuch zyada hi umeed karli hain sai se". He can't expect her to know and follow everything in a few months time. She will learn but give her space and love, then she will learn. Make her understand ina diff way w/o involving family. For once, dont ask her to adjust and maybe ask your family to understand and have a convo. He wants her to understand bc he knows he can only make her understand bc the elders wont change their ways..if they never have before, they wont now. How can Sai understand what took him years to learn as well? How can he compare her w others to make her understand? What is he expecting from an 18 yr to manage and handle everything? Did he do that when he was 18? Did he manage home and police duties...no he was studying. There are some major unrealistic expectations on his side w his vaada and then wanting Sai to also be a wife bc he wants a marital relationship. He is ready for it but she is focused on work and ghar.
There's so much going on in both of their connected world and individual world which makes it hard for us to blame only one person. Both are right in their perspective and also wrong when it comes to their methods of dealing w others. It's actually as simple as that.
Mannat Har Khushi Paane Ki
