||Bon Voyage OS Competition|| Results : P 16 - Page 9

Bolna mahi bolna

This for me was a sweet and short OS, the length here adds to it I believe. A simple story from Maan's prospect whose obviously fallen for his wife, she who tends to get along with others fine but just shy around him. His feelings are natural but then again Geets feeling even though weren't established reaches to me in the same manner. Its a girl thing😉😆

I'm glad she spoke to him, although its a few words she's finally said something and obviously he's pleased about, which in turn makes me happy😆 I think the undercurrent emotions of mutual understanding between the two, leaves me feeling warm and nice


Lovely OS and nicely written.

Thank you

Serendipity

Two words: Beautiful and intellectual writing (ok maybe 3😆)
But seriously it seems you have worked endlessly to put this one together, every metaphor or simile was so beautifully put together 👏

Two faves:

<font face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="2"><font face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="2"><font face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="2">As he enters his room loneliness stealthily comes to him and very surreptitiously whispers in his ears, "Just a few days reprieve it is,and goes on to settle itself in another corner.

</font></font>As he drives to Delhi, a bird of Hope has found its nest inside his chest and perches there refusing to fly away.</font>

I loved both equally, loved the contrast where he began with his luggage of loneliness and ended with an air of hope. Intelligently written, seriously. It felt like an English assignment where i was ALMOST forced to annotate each writing technique, keyword almost. I did love English but not so much😆

Honestly, i felt its a bit too well written, don't get me wrong but had i been half asleep, usually thats when i do all my writing (midnight when the moons high and all normal creatures are sleeping 😆) i would have been felt in a confused state, as a reader i understand very few people appreciate such writing. but then again i may be wrong. I loved the flow of the past and present, the dragon tattoo😃 and harry potter tattoo - i don't know something about the two left me in smiles. Such simple and beautiful characters. I had a feeling Maan being such a nice guy plus the band fading sentence gave me a hint he'll marry that girl, sorry don't have a clue how to pronounce her name let alone spell it

But alls well that ends well, finally their together. Also had a hunch Geet fancied Maan like he did. Ok maybe wrong word, fancy sounds so incorrect for their love story, it takes from it rather than adding to it since its so beautifully written. Again i'll end with intelligent writing that requires both the mind and soul

Beautifully writing and absolutely amazing OS

Thank you

Plus i think i know who the writer is, if the hint is anything to go by. I must say you're binding me to you (well atleast your writing) with a thicker tie with each story 😉

Dilwale dulhaniye le jayenge... lekin kaha?

I had a feeling this one would be cute and sweet, maybe the title had something to do with it 😉😆 Geet the dreamer and Maan the biker, don't know what to say about this common yet usual couple.

First thing, you should NEVER hitchhike from a stranger, well someone hasn't been taught that lesson i believe 😆 yes the possibility of finding love sure seems lovely but the reality of being misused is high, sorry if i managed to kill your story 😳 but if you've read Simon Armitage's Hitchhiker you'd know what i'm referring to. No not my usual reading believe me but was required as part of my English exam 😉😆

Anyway back to the story, Geet's such a dreamer wanting to visit Taj Mahal. Some fantasies just don't rest but im glad her's didn't for she met her match, her true prince charming in the landmark of love, well so i been told so or atleast read so 😆

The fact that she slept on the bike is usual for me, how is that possible but i did love the story

The romantic fan in me was having gala of a time, love at first sight seems to be probable reality here, aaah if only that was possible 😆

Thank you for an awesome story and making fantasies a reality.
You've written it very nicely 😃

Through thee eyes

As soon as i read the title, i was like noway man. Shakespeare's might be the man of words but his the man of my dreams, oh no not any romantic inclination😳 but he literally puts me to sleep😆, 19th century English isn't my thing what so ever🤢

But boy im a glad you've used normal English😃 OK i loved this guide and tourist couple. Maans a well-reputed lawyer who has had his fair share of highs and lows, and in the mist of every-day life seems to have forgotten the beauty of his city. But sometime someone like Geet is required to reinforce that feeling one feels at the very beginning. That love one feels for his hometown, seriously when you fly off (figuratively speaking ofcourse) you actually realise how much you love your town or city. Not just because of the memories it harbours but because of the natural beauty. I love our town hall, its roman architecture is fantastic, the four pillared front is beautiful. They're actually remodelling it to a super attraction centre, It'll have cinema and all, so excited for 2017 well kinda 😕

I loved Geet here, she's such a ? hmm lost for words but very rarely you come across people that make you love in love with something again, the ones that appreciate every facet of life and thats Geet. Her admiration and non-complainable attitude is stark difference than people of todays time, even i find myself complaining about weather, crowds 😳 and Maan well his a patient man

The ending is quite ambiguous whether that's intentional or not, im not sure but I'd like to know whether the tourist and guide strangers formed a couple, they sure found friendship but doesn't most love stories begin with friendship😉


Such a beautifully told tale, amazingly put together.
Thank you very much

Remember Me

I do apologise but i had to give this a miss, i can't have myself reading something that messes with my mind. I hate horror and spooky isn't my thing. I found myself reading the first para and then gave up

As it is my sisters have left me alone with my parents, the last thing i wanted was to highjack my parents bedroom while they cruise😳 through Swansea😭.

So I'm sorry and good luck for the competition

p.s. if im not mistaken i'd assumed your the same writer of another OS (celebratory thread) where Geet was a ghost and ended up killing Vicky (i think). That story alone took days to die down, you can tell i'm a big scaredy-cat 😆 but i have no shame in saying it 😃

I'm sorry its taking me sometime to read, i'm not exactly a slow reader but quite busy atm
I'll finish ASAP


Veil (sorry if that's not what you go by) would you like me to vote here once down or will you create a separate poll of any kind

Plus i love your (whatever you call it), Frozen is amazing 😃 and that dialogue was easily the best quote ever 😉😃

Through thee eyes- its really beautiful os really loved it

Carpe Diem - awesome story beautifully written dont know why but it remind me the movie 'zindage na milegi dobara' liked the meaning of the words

Carpe Diem

What a wonderful journey, one where she rediscovers herself, were theres no inhibition and the start of a new learning curve. From strangers to something beyond, well thats what their comfort suggested but then again not everything leads one way. Some things are nice just the way it is

I've always wanted to go diving, seems like after this it has to be sooner, i liked all the characters here. Maan the cool collected type of guy, yep he has a cocky attitude but when did that ever hurt anything. Geet needed an escape, she's obviously worked till her socks and needed a break and well deserved so

BTW not funny when the leukemia bit had me stressed and then her laughing didn't help what so ever, a huge part of me was like yep shes ill but then thank you for making it all happy dappy. Richa (i think i made that up, im real bad with names sorry) but was a lovely girl, amazing personality

loved the story, reminded me of something but cant really put my finger to it

But beautifully written and amazing concept N thank you for letting us know what Carpe Diem is orelse i would have spent the next few minutes finding out what it is 😆 What was it 'Live a little' was it, see i told you horrible memory esp today with it being sooo hot (no not used to it)

THANK YOU