It was really late as the headlights of the Toyota Avalon turned onto a suburban street and moments later a garage door opened smoothly and the car entered inside. It was the only house on the street with all its lights blazing at 3:00 AM in the morning. The driver got down from the car, switched off the ongoing call on his cell phone and entered the house after removing his shoes and replacing them with his house shoes. The soft soles barely made any sound as he entered room after room turning off the lights. Gradually, he made his way upstairs turning off some more lights and shook his head slowly as an exasperated sigh escaped his mouth.
He quietly opened the door to a bedroom and the soft strains of 'Kaise Mujhe Tum Mil Gayi' drifted to his ears from an ipad lying on the bed next to a woman fast asleep lying on her stomach and snoring gently.
Her feet were sticking out of the comforter as usual and were freezing to the touch. He gave another exasperated sigh, rubbed her feet gently to warm them up and tucked them inside the comforter. She complained of hot feet and always stuck them out and ended up feeling cold and sticking her cold feet right between his warm ones when he was fast asleep and jarring him awake. She mumbled in her sleep and turned on her side. The sleep creases on her cheek showed that she had been asleep for a long time. She slept like a child, her face completely smooshed into the pillow, till there were clear imprints on her cheeks, every morning. He grinned as he saw the weird contraption she had ordered online which was supposed to prevent sleep wrinkles, lying face down on its side beside the bed. He had argued with her till he was blue in the face not to purchase the stupid thing, but she'd been mulishly set on getting it. His mind flashed back to the incident.
"Have you seen the google map my face becomes in the morning, with all the lines and grooves standing on the terrain of my face? I have to do something before the whole topography of my face changes permanently Maan"
"Sweetheart, I love each and every wrinkle on your face." He protested.
"Oh yeah? Is that why, whenever you show our wedding photos to people, you call the me from then, your first wife?"
"Honey, you know I am just pulling your leg when I say that right?"
"Hey Mister, stop pulling my leg. No matter how hard you pull, I'm only going to grow horizontally, not vertically. So be a good boy and think of it as my early Valentine's Day Gift."
"Umm, it's only September right now Geet and I don't want to get that for you for Valentine's."
"I am gifting it to myself." She grinned.
"A Valentine's Day gift of all things?" He raised his brow enquiringly.
"Sure. I love me very much."
She looked at him quizzically.
"Hmm, I could order one for you too."
"No!! Absolutely Not!!" He shook his head vehemently.
She shrugged, went right ahead and ordered the damn thing. When it had arrived she excitedly slept on it that night. Half an hour later, the tossing and turning had started. An hour later he heard her mumbling and cursing the owners of the evil, contraption company, to the deepest darkest corners of sleepless hell. She woke up with raccoon eyes and a stiff neck and glared at him, daring him to say something. He just sighed exasperatedly as usual and walked out. His stubborn little wife got right back on that thing the next night, pulled the covers tightly over her head and pretended to be fast asleep by the time he came to bed. He counted his breaths while waiting for the whole previous cycle to repeat. Sometime later, she slowly pulled down the covers off her head and started mumbling and cursing all over again.
When she yelped loudly as she put pressure on her already strained neck muscles, he'd had enough. He got off the bed and pulled her up. The sudden jerk jarred her neck yet again and she squeaked once more. He gave her a narrow eyed glare, which clearly said, 'You deserve it.' He'd pulled the contraption off the bed and dumped it on the floor.
He made her a rice pillow, like his mother-in- law had once shown him and put it under her stiff neck.
She grinned at him foolishly, while he tried to hold on to his irritation. She pulled him on the bed, put the rice pillow on his shoulder and rested her head there.
He gently moved her hair out of the way and started slowly massaging her stiff and sore neck.
"I will return that sleep deprivation contraption tomorrow," she murmured softly.
His hand slowly tightened on her neck.
"Don't you dare. I want you to leave it right where it is. The next time you try to buy stuff like that, stuff that we definitely don't need, I'm going to make you sleep on it."
"Aww, when do I ever buy stuff unnecessarily?" She pouted.
Without a word he walked into the bathroom and brought back a microdermabrasion machine after using which, her face had looked like a pink boiled lobster for one whole week. He had put Lacto-Calamine on her face and fanned it the whole night while she laid her head on his lap and mewled pitifully.
They had been stopped by a cop because her face had been completely covered under a hat and a scarf, in the hot heat of August. He'd grinned and let them go after seeing her face. The cop had patted his back sympathetically in a completely man to man gesture.
She quickly grabbed the machine from him and stuffed it under the pillow, as if that would absolve her guilt.
"Ok, ok. But that was the only other thing..."
Before she could finish he turned right back and started marching towards the bathroom again.
"Oh alright. You win"
"Until the next time." He muttered under his breath.
"At least let me put it in the storage room." She looked at the contraption on the floor.
"Nope, it remains right there."
That was not the only time they'd had a run in with the cops. What was it about her affinity to draw cops or rather trouble, he wondered?
He remembered the first time she had drunk alcohol at a party. It had been a Margarita. She loved the fruity flavor along with the salt that the glass was rimmed with. He caught her happily drowning the second glass and grabbed it away from her. However by then it was too late and she was high on the stuff. She was quiet in the car on the way home from the party. However, as soon as he had parked the car along the busy street outside their apartment she had got out and walked right on the middle of the road and started placing one foot before the other along the center white divider line on the road. She had heard somebody discussing at the party that if a person was caught driving drunk, then the cop made him get out of the car and walk a straight line to see if he could balance himself, so as to check how sober the person was. And this was the theory she had decided she wanted to try out right at that moment. He tried dragging her away but she refused while wildly swinging her arms to balance herself as if she was walking on a tight rope, instead of a wide flat tar road. He was worried about somebody calling the cops. And right on cue, he saw the blue and red lights of the police car flashing and he groaned.
"Is there a problem here?" The young police officer asked him.
And his foolish and very drunk wife opened her mouth.
"Oye chikne Maamu. Jai Hind." She saluted him one finger at a time starting with the middle finger.
"Is she cursing at me?" The officer's eyes narrowed on Maan.
"No sir. She is saluting the handsome officer." He said with gritted teeth.
The officer grinned indulgently and drove away after asking Maan to take his wife home, who he said was very observant even under the influence of alcohol.
And Maan wanted to just let a truck run over her in that moment. Instead he took her home, put her to bed and took sadistic pleasure in seeing her groaning and moaning the next morning with the worst case of hangover.
He knew he was not always the easiest person to live with and sometimes refused to listen, especially if somebody pointed out his faults to him. He went into what she called the stubborn mode. But she knew exactly what buttons to press to get him to listen to her, even though her solutions sometimes killed him with embarrassment.
He remembered the time when he had been setting up his company while still holding down a full 9 to 5 job. His life had been completely imbalanced. He'd had no time for any kind of physical exercise and he had slowly started gaining weight as well as, he had started snoring at night. She had told him time and again that he snored and that he had to fix it by finding time for himself. He had stubbornly refused to believe that he snored and denied it completely while assuring her he was perfectly fine.
One day she had abruptly stopped advising him. He had been pleased at winning the argument and walked into work that day with a smug look on his face.
His workplace at the time had been an open plan office with no enclosed cubicles, and desks at regular intervals.
He settled in at his desk and about half an hour later he was startled to hear a weird sound coming from nearby. He looked around as did his co-workers. The sound stopped abruptly. However, the moment he got involved in his work the sound repeated and this time it went on for a longer time. He looked around only to find his co-workers giving him annoyed looks. He was extremely puzzled. It took several more rings for him to finally figure out that his evil wife had recorded his snoring sound and made it his ring tone and was calling him at regular intervals and cutting off the call before it was picked up.
He had hit the gym on his way home that day.
Now as he looked down at her sleep creased face, he knew for sure she'd be worrying in the morning that those lines would become permanent.
He traced the crease line that ran from her cheek to her temple. He saw a few silver threads weaving through her hair and gently stroked his finger over them. She was turning 40 this year and they'd been married for 18 of those. As quite as she was in her sleep he knew the moment he woke up she would talk his ears off.
She loved sharing her day with him. She would tell him everything that happened. She'd literally relive it with him tomorrow, laughing, being mad, feeling sad and sometimes even crying.
She had been driving him crazy and running rings around him long before that though. It had all started on the day they had met and she had been just 15 at the time and he 20.
He looked at his brat of a wife and felt a zing of irritation along with a wave of love wash over him. He squeezed her nostrils shut until she gasped, grinned down at her and then let go of her nose. She swatted at his hand, mumbled something and went right back to sleep. He looked at the new bruise that was there on her arm beside the older cut that was already healing. She was always covered in bruises over her arms and legs like a child coz she was always in a rush to go meet life. She could not wait for it to come to her. She also never ever remembered how she had gotten a particular bruise. She really was a child in the body of a woman.
He kissed her softly on the forehead and made his way to the adjoining bathroom to shower and change. As he listened to the song playing on the ipad, he felt as if the singer was crooning it to him.
'Kaise mujhe tum mil gayi kismat pe aaye na yakeen,' he hummed under his breath.
Really, how had he ever ended up getting her? For all her whackiness and her outrageous antics he wouldn't exchange her for the world. One thing he could say about his life after marriage and it was that he'd never had a bored day with her around. She'd had a choice of suitors to choose from, but she had chosen him. And since the day she had decided he was the one, she had single handedly devoted herself to him. She had adored him, showered him with laughter, joy and impossibly crazy moments. She had encouraged him every step of the way and had even fought with his mother when his mom had questioned his choice of letting go of a secure job to start a business of his own. She had basically taught him to live in the moment.
His glance passed over the quote she'd framed and put right over the bathroom door.
"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."- Rita Rudner.
No truer words had ever been said.
*************************************************************
The alarm clock on his side of the bed, went off exactly at 6:00 AM as usual. She mumbled and groaned then opened one eye and a soft smile stretched her lips as she felt the heavy weight of the male arm around her waist. She leaned over him and switched off the alarm. Then she snuggled into him and buried her nose deep in his chest and inhaled his scent. She adored that unique scent that belonged to him. It was all male and warm, with a little bit of sweat and citrus lotion that he used, mixed in. It belonged uniquely to him and it was only hers to smell. He was deeply asleep and she wondered what time he'd come in. It had probably been pretty late in the night. She snuggled up to him for a few more minutes then covered him up properly and moved her pillow into his arms. He grabbed it and literally curled around it. She knew in his mind he was instinctively curling up into her. She grinned as she thought back to the last time that they had been to India. It had been for her cousin's wedding, there had been chaos everywhere, the house overflowing with guests and people sleeping wherever they got space to crash. She had been sharing a bed with her mom and sister and her father had insisted that Maan share the bed with him. He had refused promptly and fervently. Her father had looked slightly hurt and she had taken my husband aside and asked him what the problem was. He had replied desperately.
"Geet I am so used to sleeping curled up to you and grabbing umm.. you know, umm...your various body parts in my sleep when I am not even aware of doing it." He said while looking at her chest. He then continued sheepishly, "Now just imagine me sleeping next to your father. Do you still want me to sleep next to your father?"
She had laughed until tears had rolled down her eyes and shared her husband's dilemma with her mom, who had convinced her husband that he was better of sleeping alone on that bed.
That was her husband. He either slept with her, or he slept alone, no matter where he went or what the circumstances.
She picked the hair tie on the bed side table and her gaze fell on the lamp in the shape of a world globe that was sitting there. It was as old as her marriage. She touched it and it turned on. She touched it again and it turned off. They had been married for hardly six months. He was new at his job and the paycheck wasn't the fattest. She had seen the lamp in some movie they had been watching and had loved it and had remarked that she would love to get it if she found one. Now mind you this had been eighteen years ago, long before the days of online selling and finding anything and everything on the internet with the click of a button. She had forgotten about the lamp a few days later, however he had not. He had looked around every store in the city, made some calls, asked friends and he'd finally been able to order it from a mail ordering company that sold it. He had been as excited as a child when the box had come and he had handed it to her with flourish. She had opened the box and tears had flooded her eyes when she looked at it.
"How Maan?" She'd asked.
And all he'd said was, "If all it takes is a little bit of effort on my part to fulfill your dreams than I will put every bit of me into it to complete each of your dreams for you. The globe is just the beginning Geet. I will take you to every place that you want to visit on that globe. It may take me some time, but we are definitely going there. Pick a place Geet and I promise to take you there."
She had laughed and picked Rome and Paris randomly, not even meaning it seriously.
Oh but he'd been serious. And he'd never forgotten. He was fulfilling all her dreams right alongside her. They were going to Paris and Rome two months from now.
She looked at her cellphone and realized that he must have switched off the call after coming home. She looked at the screen saver and smiled. It was a quote from one of her favorite TV series.
Ab zindagi ki har subha tumse shuru hogi
Aur har raat tumpe khatam
The quote was the most romantic thing she'd ever heard and she'd complained to Maan loud and clear as to why he did not say such romantic things to her.
He had looked at her and just rolled his eyes.
"You mean to say somebody actually said such a cheesy dialogue? Even for the world of Indian soaps that is a little too greasy isn't it?"
She had smiled secretly coz she knew that even if he never ever said such a dialogue to her, he went out of his way to prove the dialogue to her every time he went somewhere and rushed home late in the night.
Sleeping all alone by herself freaked her out and so if he was out of town, he usually made sure he was home within the same night, no matter how late it was. However if he could not make it back, he always called her before going to bed and left the call on. His breathing as he slept and the occasional snore reassured and comforted her as nothing else did and she did not feel so lonely all by herself in the big house.
She drew her forefinger gently along the dark circles beneath his eyes. These meant more to her than any romantic dialogue in the world. These had been formed coz after an extremely exhausting day attending different meetings, he had started back late in the night to be home with her. What she had was real and tangible and not a line fed to string along the emotions of the viewer on a television set.
She felt absolutely blessed to have such a wonderful man as her life partner. He was no larger then life hero. He was a simple man with his own set of faults and quirks. But he was definitely the one and only hero of her life.
He had his own faults off course. He loved that stupid car of his to death. And she said to death coz she really had homicidal tendencies as far as that travelling box on four wheels was concerned.
She especially remembered the first time they had gotten a new car. He wouldn't allow her to lean against it ever. He went, "The polish will wear off, if you lean like that against it."
In her mind she'd been counting. Tick, Tick 1, Tick, Tick 2, Tick, Tick 3. By the time he did it for the 5th time she was ROYALLY PISSED OFF. It might also have been that pmsing that day, she didn't quiet remember.
She had gone inside the house and the first thing that came in her hand was a nice big bottle of honey. The next thing he knew, she snatched the car key from him and poured the whole bottle all over the car which was inside the garage.
Then she told him, "I've heard that honey is good for facials, so I've decided to give "the car" one."
She had refused to hand over the key for the whole day so that he could take it outside and wash it off.
They were both very much human with their own set of idiosyncrasies.
He was her rock. He gave her mental space as wide as the earth to grow and explore herself. He held her so close physically that not even a breath of air could pass between them. He had wanted her to be independent of everything, including himself, so that she could always fend for herself in life. He had made a slave out of her with his endless and constant devotion. He was her guru who had taught her everything from car driving to banking, to helping her with her homework. I she was the kite that soared in the sky it was only because he was the string that held her grounded.
Individually they were two imperfect pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, but together they were picture perfect.
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