Part 56
she missed a beat. She knew it all the while but it felt so different when he said it.
Geet ' aap ko 18 saal lagyen yeh kahne ko
Maan countered ' tumhen bhi tho itne saal lagyen mujhe sunne main
she made a cute face ' mujhe phelen se hi pata tha. Mujhe Sam ne batya tha.
He looked at her painfully cupping her face in his palms ' couldn't u see it in my eyes all these yrs
probably after years she looked up to look into those dark deep eyes. It held years of longing.. years pain, years of unspoken words, years of bottled emotions. Like a cloud was infront of her all the while she didn't see through, on the other side it.
She never saw the painful truth, his painful lonely world. All she saw was a beautiful lie, the mask he wore. The laughs he had forced, all the fake smiles. As she saw deeper her heart felt heavier burdened. She failed to see all those constant tears he shed, that constant pain.. the shattered pieces left of his heart. She had eluded herself all this years of the pain in his voice. Stabbing pain echoed deep in her heart tears seem to gush but feared to pour.
He searched her eyes helplessly ' itne salon main tumhe ek pal bhi nahi laga?
she was tongue tied hearing that pained tone. She couldn't believe her ears. She couldn't believe he held so much of pain within him. She wanted to scream.. haan laga.. har pal .. har waqt laga
But her silence just proved his efforts were pointless. But then to think of it, he never expected her to reciprocate. He just smiled warmly like always & kissed her.
Another mask hiding the anguish that shattered the remaining pieces of his shattered heart.
Geet closed her eyes as the tears refused to flow. They just were their hurting, dwelling the heaviness. Soaking the lashes in guilt.. Had it been mins earlier she would have not read the sadness that always lingered behind that beautifully conning smile. Now all she could she was years of painful longing. Years of betraying perfect stunning handsome smile. Her heart choked now thinking of the years that passed by not understanding the depth of his pain. She just stood numb as he slowly finished the sweet kiss & slipped gracefully the warmth of his palm away from her cheek. She snugged into it.. not letting him part. His eyes looked at her in concern. His heart missed thousands of beats in respond to her compassion. He searched her blank looking eyes in hope & care. Wondered if she was ok.
Those hazels pulled him into a sweet whirlpool he couldn't understand. All he could do was give in. Surrendering to the warmth. She wanted to love him, hug him, kiss him, tell him so many things suddenly, tell him she didn't mean to hurt him in any way, tell him he meant the world to her. All she could do was flow into the passion. He didn't quite understand.. but it felt very warm.. very overwhelming to his heart.
They had just indulged into a passionate moment when they heard Dev calling geet for something.
For the first time in their close moments she didn't want to let go of him. Her heart ached parting away from his hold. This was not the first time Dev called for her in between their moment. Once in a while there was this odd moment when Dev would call from his room looking for his book.. or milk.. or.. toy.. or dress.. or just a good night kiss. She would be more than happy to oblige. So did Maan. He would sweetly pout & she wouldn't even notice. & today the same moment felt so heart breaking. She felt she would break down in tears. Like it held the impact of all those years.
Maan kissed her sweetly yet again setting her pallu ' jaldi javo, warna tumhra beta ghar sur pe utta lega
she broke out of the trance, looking away. Her heart ached to promise ' main abhi aayen
but she never did anything like that before. She never promised him anything. There was just that endless wait that he endured.
She lazily tied up her hair as she walked towards the door. Every inch of her wanted to go back into his warmth. She smiled weakly as she saw him settling under the spread, pulling the pillow close to him.
She helped Dev with wat he was searching, gave him his milk.
Dev ' mama please dood nahi
she was lost, just said ' umm
Dev was taken a back, his mom would never be ok with not drinking milk ' mama
he shook her
she gave him the glass of milk & a stern look. That was enough he had it like an obedient kid.
After settling him in the bed she ran to her room. There was just new tickle in her stomach. She was so anxious, like a new bride entering her room, only to see Maan in deep sleep. Tears just welled up.
It was usual he would dose off. Mother & son would usually take their own sweet time. Most of the days he would dose off. But today it felt so painful. She wanted to be in his arms. She wanted to be loved. She wanted to feel him like she had never felt him before. How else was she supposed to tell him she cared, she loved him, she knew he loved her.. & pain hit her heard does he know she cared for him too.
How was it important anyway. But her heart screamed after seeing that pain in his eyes to tell him.. or atleast to see in those eyes that understanding. Her heart felt so painfully heavy.
She stood their near his side of the bed just looking at him a sleep. Only the few gray strands near the ears showed all those years that had just passed by. Passed by with out realizing their relation. Without living those moment.. without feeling the happiness that God blessed her with. How ironical was it.. 4 yrs she lived feeling every pain, every ache & 18yrs she didn't even know how happy she was. happiness is never felt!!
She felt so many things with in her. Most salient was pain. She just couldn't take it any more & instantly he woke up.. like he could feel her hurt. She blinked her lashes & pretended to walk towards her end of the bed. He held her wrist ' kya huwa geet
is anything bothering you.
He spoke waking up from his sleep
she just shook her head trying to control her emotions
he smiled sleepily asking her to settle in the bed ' I know u r upset because Dev will be leaving in few days. U only wanted him to go to that college. Hum har weekend jayen ga na ussen milne
he tried reassuring her.. he spoke things abt calling dev, skype.. as he slipped back into deep sleep.
She muffled her cry only to startle him yet again off his sleep.
She immediately pretended to go to the wash room. How could he sense her restlessness even in his deep sleep. how could she just ignore the depth of their relation??
Thanks for the likes & comments
lots of love
muskan
Edited by muskanp - 12 years ago
Hindi TV Shows
Kumkum Bhagya
Financial markets and global economy
Book Talk
Sensational South
435