Posted:
PART 41:
Dil hai ki maanta nahin.....[/COLOR>
RECAP: He rolled over and too her astonishment buried his head in her lap. He grabbed her thighs and waist with his strong arms and was soon fast asleep in the comfort of her lap.
Kripa was in a predicament, "ab kya karoon main?" He was fast asleep on her lap; he looked so comfortable and at peace there, she did not have the heart to move away from him. She could feel his warmth through her clothes; it was just like old times except that it was usually her on his lap while he was trying to explain or show something to her. Kripa's hand instinctively stroked his hair as he took deep, rhythmic breaths. Her eyes welled up; she could not believe that it was him on her lap- so near yet so distant…..kahan chale gaye the tum itne din Angad? She cried to herself……ab kyun aaye ho meri zindagi mein wapas? Kyun hamesha itna sataate ho mujhey? Aur kya zaroorat thi baarish mein bheegne ki? Kya mujhse milkar itna pareshaan ho gaye the?
As she soaked his warmth in her, she became a little drowsy herself and leaned back on the head board. The 2 sleepless nights caught up with her and before she knew it, she was fast asleep with her head leaned back and arm around Angad's neck. They both had not slept so restfully in ages, as they did for those few hours on his bed.
It was early evening, when she woke up with a startle. For a second, she thought she was in her Patiala home with Angad sleeping on her lap, but once she came back to her senses, she was anxious to get up and leave. Angad stirred a little; she moved his head gently and got up.
"Madam…aapke liye kuch chai wagarah le aaoon?" Ramsingh walked in.
"Nahin Ramsingh…mujhey der ho gayi hai….aap sahib ko time se dawa aur kuch khaane ko de dena….main aapko raat ko phone karke saheb ki tabiyat poonch loongi….koi problem ho tho mujhey phone kar dena," she wrote her number on a pad and gave it to him.
"Waise Mishti madam ka bhi phone aaya tha….wo bhi keh rahi thi ki wo aa sakti hain," Ramsingh answered.
Kripa remembered meeting Mishti at the party; she knew Angad and Mishti were good friends, but for some weird reason felt awkward about someone else taking care of Angad, "haan….waise mujhey kal bhi Mumbai mein kaam hai….main…main kal bhi aa sakti hoon….aap Mishti ko keh dena unhey aane ki zaroorat nahin padhegi."
"Jee madam….main pehle aapko hi phone karoonga," Ramsingh said obediently.
Kripa left with a heavy heart; she hated to leave him in such a state, but had no choice. How she wished she could move the clock back by a few years and then things would be so different- even Durga aunty never questioned Kripa or Mouni about helping Angad when he was sick, she was more than happy that someone else was there to take care of her puttar!
Shabd was home early that evening, "arre Mahi….aaj kahan thi poore din? Dhaabe mein kitni baar phone kiya tumhein….tumhara mobile bhi off tha?" he asked her as she entered the house.
Mahi was a little flustered; she turned red and hesitated, "wo…wo…Mumbai mein kuch bank ka kaam tha…aur phir main apni puraani chawl mein kisi se milne chali gayi….bas aate aate der ho gayi," she lied and felt very guilty about it. To this date, she had never lied about anything to Shabd, but she did not have the courage to tell him where she was all day.
"Very good Mahi….main bahut khush hoon ki tum kaam ke alaawa bhi kuch kar rahi ho….ek din mere saath Mumbai chalna….hum dono khoob ghoom lenge wahan…aur thodi shopping bhi kar lenge…kyun?" he asked
"Haan…zaroor," she agreed hesitantly. Why was Shabd always so nice and understanding she thought? Angad ka thoda gussa bhi aap mein aa jaaye tho shayad main bhi aapko sach bataane ki himmat kar paati…..
"Aa gayi beti?" Dadi walked out of the kitchen, "Shabd bechara kab se pareshaan tha tumhare liye."
"Dadi? Aap kab aayi Mumbai se wapas?" Mahi tried to distract everyone from herself.
"Bas aaj dopahar ko hi aayi thi….ab kaisi hai teri tabiyat?" dadi asked affectionately.
Mahi hugged dadi and became a little tearful, "theek hoon dadi….aapko bahut miss kiya maine."
"Arre …ismein roney ki kya baat hai?" dadi asked, "sirf 3-4 din ke liye hi tho gayi thi."
How could Mahi tell anyone about her mental anguish? They all cared so much for her….how could she betray their trust?
That night, an anxious and guilt-ridden Mahi could not get any sleep. She took out her diary while Shabd was fast asleep and went to the living room. She wrote down all her thoughts and confessed her guilt to the diary:
Na jaane kyun mujhey aisa lag raha hai ki maine aaj ek bahut badhaa paap kiya hai. Aaj pehli baar maine apne pati se itna badha jhooth bola hai. Wo mujhpar kitna vishwaas rakhte hain, phir main kyun aisa kar rahi hoon? Aakhir ek bachpan ke dost ki bimaari mein dekhbaal karna koi paap nahin hai…..phir bhi mere mann mein shayad ek chor hai….mujhey darr hai ki sach bataakar main Shabd ki feelings ko hurt na kar doon. Wo bhi Angad ka itna aadar (respect) karte hain….kahin unhey koi shaq ho gaya tho wo Angad ko kabhie respect nahin kar paayenge.
Udhar Angad ki aisi haalat bhi shayad meri wajah se huyi hai…..tho kaise chhod doon usey akela?
Mujhey kuch din yeh sach aur chupaana hoga….lekin ek din sab kuch Shabd ko sach sach bataa doongi ki Angad ka aur mera ab koi rishta nahin hai…Shabd hi sirf mere sab kuch hain….Angad sirf bachpan ka dost hai….aur kuch nahin…..kya main apne aap se sach bol rahi hoon? Kya abhi bhi mera dil Angad ke liye nahin tadapta? Kya zaroorat thi mujhey aaj uske ghar jaane ki? Kyun main aaj uske saath itni der rahi? Kyun main phir kal jaane ki soch rahi hoon? Haqeeqat tho yeh hai ki main aaj bhi apne aap ko Angad ka hi samajhti hoon….chaahe wo samjhe ya na samjhe…..lekin main Shabd ke saath aisa vishwaas ghaat kabhie nahin kar sakti…..mujhey apne aap ko rokna hi hoga.
She put her diary away as writing her thoughts was confusing her further. She got up and picked her phone. She called Angad's house, "haan Ramsingh," she whispered, "sahib kaise hain? Bukhaar kitna hai? ……Kya?.....Doctor ko bulayaa?......Kuch khaaya sahib ne?......Aisa karo thoda daliya banaa do…..aur dekho cheeni zyaada daalna…..saheb ko waise hi pasand hai…..aur ilaichi zaroor daal dena….theek hai….main kal milti hoon," she shut her eyes and hung up.
NEXT DAY:
"Shabd….aaj aapke saath Mumbai chaloon?" Mahi was ready early next morning.
Shabd could not believe what he had just heard, "sach? Lagta hai maine bhi kuch acche karam kiye honge zindagi mein jo meri biwi aaj mere saath ghoomne chalna chaahti hai! Kya baat hai!" he remarked.
"Lekin aapko tho kaam bhi hoga na?" she probed, "aisa kariye ki mujhey aap wahan kisi mall mein chhod dena….aap apna kaam kar lena aur phir lunch time par hum kahin bahar khaana khaa lenge?"
"Great idea! Chalo….aaj lunch time ka mujhey bahut besabri se intezaar rahega!" he sounded excited.
Shabd had managed to get a used car from work for his commute now, so they left in his car and were in Mumbai in good time that morning. As he had promised, Shabd dropped Mahi at the mall, "main 12 baje tumhein phone karoonga….phir kahin aas paas hi restaurant mein khaa lenge….great!"
Mahi waved bye to him and after she was sure he had gone away, she took a cab to Angad's apartment.
Angad was sitting in bed with a morose expression and TV remote in hand. He was flipping through channels like deck of cards.
Kripa was relieved to see him more lucid than yesterday.
"Kaise ho Angad?" she asked.
He glared at her, "dard bhi khud hi deti hai….aur phir poonchti hai ki haal kaisa hai?" he said sarcastically.
Kripa decided to remain quiet; she knew it was no point arguing with him when he was in a foul mood.
"kuch khaaya?" she asked him
"Mujhey bhookh nahin hai….aur jitni thi tujhey dekhkar sab chali gayi," he pressed the remote buttons furiously.
"Remote par apna gussa kyun nikaal rahe ho?" she rolled her eyes.
"Kyunki ek patthar dil insaan ko kuch kehne ka faayda nahin hai…..kum se kum remote meri baat tho suntaa hai!" he said sardonically.
To his surprise, Kripa took the remote from and turned the TV off. She felt his forehead, "aaj bukhaar kum hai….aisa karo uthkar thoda nahaa dho lo….tabiyat better ho jaayegi."
"Tujhey meri itni fikr kyun hai? Jaa…Shabd ki sewa kar….ab tho wo hi hai na sab kuch?" he snatched the remote back from her.
She swallowed her anger and walked to his closet. She took out some fresh clothes and towel, "yeh lo…..aur nahaa lo…..main tumhare liye kuch khaane ko laati hoon."
Angad staggered towards the bathroom but suddenly felt very dizzy and was almost about to pass out when Kripa caught him from falling. She put her arm around his waist and helped him walk to the bathroom. He was so weak from his illness that he could barely stand upright. She helped him sit down on a stool in the bathroom and filled some warm water in a pan.
She unbuttoned his shirt and took it off. Then she sponged his body with a warm towel. As she rinsed his face and hands with her gentle hands, she noticed that he was sobbing quietly.
"Angad?" she asked softly. He couldn't take it anymore. He hugged her waist tightly and buried his head in it. She felt his warm tears soak her kurta as he sobbed silently. Her eyes filled up too and tears started streaming down her cheeks. She put her arm around his neck and held him close to her body. She could feel his strong back muscles on his bare skin as his chest pressed against her thighs and waist.
He finally spoke, "Kripa…..kahan chali gayi thi mujhey chhod kar…..kitna dhoondha tujhey…..Mumbai ki saari galiyan chaan maari maine…..kyun chali gayi thi?….Main tere bina nahin reh sakta…..main tujhse bahut pyaar karta hoon….I love you Kripa…..I love you……tu hi meri zindagi hai…mujhey aur kuch nahin chaahiye."
Kripa was stunned.
…to be contd…
Dil hai ki maanta nahin.....[/COLOR>
RECAP: He rolled over and too her astonishment buried his head in her lap. He grabbed her thighs and waist with his strong arms and was soon fast asleep in the comfort of her lap.
Kripa was in a predicament, "ab kya karoon main?" He was fast asleep on her lap; he looked so comfortable and at peace there, she did not have the heart to move away from him. She could feel his warmth through her clothes; it was just like old times except that it was usually her on his lap while he was trying to explain or show something to her. Kripa's hand instinctively stroked his hair as he took deep, rhythmic breaths. Her eyes welled up; she could not believe that it was him on her lap- so near yet so distant…..kahan chale gaye the tum itne din Angad? She cried to herself……ab kyun aaye ho meri zindagi mein wapas? Kyun hamesha itna sataate ho mujhey? Aur kya zaroorat thi baarish mein bheegne ki? Kya mujhse milkar itna pareshaan ho gaye the?
As she soaked his warmth in her, she became a little drowsy herself and leaned back on the head board. The 2 sleepless nights caught up with her and before she knew it, she was fast asleep with her head leaned back and arm around Angad's neck. They both had not slept so restfully in ages, as they did for those few hours on his bed.
It was early evening, when she woke up with a startle. For a second, she thought she was in her Patiala home with Angad sleeping on her lap, but once she came back to her senses, she was anxious to get up and leave. Angad stirred a little; she moved his head gently and got up.
"Madam…aapke liye kuch chai wagarah le aaoon?" Ramsingh walked in.
"Nahin Ramsingh…mujhey der ho gayi hai….aap sahib ko time se dawa aur kuch khaane ko de dena….main aapko raat ko phone karke saheb ki tabiyat poonch loongi….koi problem ho tho mujhey phone kar dena," she wrote her number on a pad and gave it to him.
"Waise Mishti madam ka bhi phone aaya tha….wo bhi keh rahi thi ki wo aa sakti hain," Ramsingh answered.
Kripa remembered meeting Mishti at the party; she knew Angad and Mishti were good friends, but for some weird reason felt awkward about someone else taking care of Angad, "haan….waise mujhey kal bhi Mumbai mein kaam hai….main…main kal bhi aa sakti hoon….aap Mishti ko keh dena unhey aane ki zaroorat nahin padhegi."
"Jee madam….main pehle aapko hi phone karoonga," Ramsingh said obediently.
Kripa left with a heavy heart; she hated to leave him in such a state, but had no choice. How she wished she could move the clock back by a few years and then things would be so different- even Durga aunty never questioned Kripa or Mouni about helping Angad when he was sick, she was more than happy that someone else was there to take care of her puttar!
Shabd was home early that evening, "arre Mahi….aaj kahan thi poore din? Dhaabe mein kitni baar phone kiya tumhein….tumhara mobile bhi off tha?" he asked her as she entered the house.
Mahi was a little flustered; she turned red and hesitated, "wo…wo…Mumbai mein kuch bank ka kaam tha…aur phir main apni puraani chawl mein kisi se milne chali gayi….bas aate aate der ho gayi," she lied and felt very guilty about it. To this date, she had never lied about anything to Shabd, but she did not have the courage to tell him where she was all day.
"Very good Mahi….main bahut khush hoon ki tum kaam ke alaawa bhi kuch kar rahi ho….ek din mere saath Mumbai chalna….hum dono khoob ghoom lenge wahan…aur thodi shopping bhi kar lenge…kyun?" he asked
"Haan…zaroor," she agreed hesitantly. Why was Shabd always so nice and understanding she thought? Angad ka thoda gussa bhi aap mein aa jaaye tho shayad main bhi aapko sach bataane ki himmat kar paati…..
"Aa gayi beti?" Dadi walked out of the kitchen, "Shabd bechara kab se pareshaan tha tumhare liye."
"Dadi? Aap kab aayi Mumbai se wapas?" Mahi tried to distract everyone from herself.
"Bas aaj dopahar ko hi aayi thi….ab kaisi hai teri tabiyat?" dadi asked affectionately.
Mahi hugged dadi and became a little tearful, "theek hoon dadi….aapko bahut miss kiya maine."
"Arre …ismein roney ki kya baat hai?" dadi asked, "sirf 3-4 din ke liye hi tho gayi thi."
How could Mahi tell anyone about her mental anguish? They all cared so much for her….how could she betray their trust?
That night, an anxious and guilt-ridden Mahi could not get any sleep. She took out her diary while Shabd was fast asleep and went to the living room. She wrote down all her thoughts and confessed her guilt to the diary:
Na jaane kyun mujhey aisa lag raha hai ki maine aaj ek bahut badhaa paap kiya hai. Aaj pehli baar maine apne pati se itna badha jhooth bola hai. Wo mujhpar kitna vishwaas rakhte hain, phir main kyun aisa kar rahi hoon? Aakhir ek bachpan ke dost ki bimaari mein dekhbaal karna koi paap nahin hai…..phir bhi mere mann mein shayad ek chor hai….mujhey darr hai ki sach bataakar main Shabd ki feelings ko hurt na kar doon. Wo bhi Angad ka itna aadar (respect) karte hain….kahin unhey koi shaq ho gaya tho wo Angad ko kabhie respect nahin kar paayenge.
Udhar Angad ki aisi haalat bhi shayad meri wajah se huyi hai…..tho kaise chhod doon usey akela?
Mujhey kuch din yeh sach aur chupaana hoga….lekin ek din sab kuch Shabd ko sach sach bataa doongi ki Angad ka aur mera ab koi rishta nahin hai…Shabd hi sirf mere sab kuch hain….Angad sirf bachpan ka dost hai….aur kuch nahin…..kya main apne aap se sach bol rahi hoon? Kya abhi bhi mera dil Angad ke liye nahin tadapta? Kya zaroorat thi mujhey aaj uske ghar jaane ki? Kyun main aaj uske saath itni der rahi? Kyun main phir kal jaane ki soch rahi hoon? Haqeeqat tho yeh hai ki main aaj bhi apne aap ko Angad ka hi samajhti hoon….chaahe wo samjhe ya na samjhe…..lekin main Shabd ke saath aisa vishwaas ghaat kabhie nahin kar sakti…..mujhey apne aap ko rokna hi hoga.
She put her diary away as writing her thoughts was confusing her further. She got up and picked her phone. She called Angad's house, "haan Ramsingh," she whispered, "sahib kaise hain? Bukhaar kitna hai? ……Kya?.....Doctor ko bulayaa?......Kuch khaaya sahib ne?......Aisa karo thoda daliya banaa do…..aur dekho cheeni zyaada daalna…..saheb ko waise hi pasand hai…..aur ilaichi zaroor daal dena….theek hai….main kal milti hoon," she shut her eyes and hung up.
NEXT DAY:
"Shabd….aaj aapke saath Mumbai chaloon?" Mahi was ready early next morning.
Shabd could not believe what he had just heard, "sach? Lagta hai maine bhi kuch acche karam kiye honge zindagi mein jo meri biwi aaj mere saath ghoomne chalna chaahti hai! Kya baat hai!" he remarked.
"Lekin aapko tho kaam bhi hoga na?" she probed, "aisa kariye ki mujhey aap wahan kisi mall mein chhod dena….aap apna kaam kar lena aur phir lunch time par hum kahin bahar khaana khaa lenge?"
"Great idea! Chalo….aaj lunch time ka mujhey bahut besabri se intezaar rahega!" he sounded excited.
Shabd had managed to get a used car from work for his commute now, so they left in his car and were in Mumbai in good time that morning. As he had promised, Shabd dropped Mahi at the mall, "main 12 baje tumhein phone karoonga….phir kahin aas paas hi restaurant mein khaa lenge….great!"
Mahi waved bye to him and after she was sure he had gone away, she took a cab to Angad's apartment.
Angad was sitting in bed with a morose expression and TV remote in hand. He was flipping through channels like deck of cards.
Kripa was relieved to see him more lucid than yesterday.
"Kaise ho Angad?" she asked.
He glared at her, "dard bhi khud hi deti hai….aur phir poonchti hai ki haal kaisa hai?" he said sarcastically.
Kripa decided to remain quiet; she knew it was no point arguing with him when he was in a foul mood.
"kuch khaaya?" she asked him
"Mujhey bhookh nahin hai….aur jitni thi tujhey dekhkar sab chali gayi," he pressed the remote buttons furiously.
"Remote par apna gussa kyun nikaal rahe ho?" she rolled her eyes.
"Kyunki ek patthar dil insaan ko kuch kehne ka faayda nahin hai…..kum se kum remote meri baat tho suntaa hai!" he said sardonically.
To his surprise, Kripa took the remote from and turned the TV off. She felt his forehead, "aaj bukhaar kum hai….aisa karo uthkar thoda nahaa dho lo….tabiyat better ho jaayegi."
"Tujhey meri itni fikr kyun hai? Jaa…Shabd ki sewa kar….ab tho wo hi hai na sab kuch?" he snatched the remote back from her.
She swallowed her anger and walked to his closet. She took out some fresh clothes and towel, "yeh lo…..aur nahaa lo…..main tumhare liye kuch khaane ko laati hoon."
Angad staggered towards the bathroom but suddenly felt very dizzy and was almost about to pass out when Kripa caught him from falling. She put her arm around his waist and helped him walk to the bathroom. He was so weak from his illness that he could barely stand upright. She helped him sit down on a stool in the bathroom and filled some warm water in a pan.
She unbuttoned his shirt and took it off. Then she sponged his body with a warm towel. As she rinsed his face and hands with her gentle hands, she noticed that he was sobbing quietly.
"Angad?" she asked softly. He couldn't take it anymore. He hugged her waist tightly and buried his head in it. She felt his warm tears soak her kurta as he sobbed silently. Her eyes filled up too and tears started streaming down her cheeks. She put her arm around his neck and held him close to her body. She could feel his strong back muscles on his bare skin as his chest pressed against her thighs and waist.
He finally spoke, "Kripa…..kahan chali gayi thi mujhey chhod kar…..kitna dhoondha tujhey…..Mumbai ki saari galiyan chaan maari maine…..kyun chali gayi thi?….Main tere bina nahin reh sakta…..main tujhse bahut pyaar karta hoon….I love you Kripa…..I love you……tu hi meri zindagi hai…mujhey aur kuch nahin chaahiye."
Kripa was stunned.
…to be contd…
Book Talk
Cricket
