Colours of my Life (AK): The End (Pg 33) - Page 23

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Part 10 C – Confessions

It was a bright sunny afternoon when I stood on my toes and rang the door bell hesitating for a brief second, as I smoothly wiped my hands by the folds of my skirt and suppressed the urge to walk out. I was here and this meeting was inevitable, I reminded myself, I'd to meet up with his mother – something I should have done long back.

The door opened and I held my breath, as I took in sight of a very beautiful lady. She looked no more than fifty with her light brown hair tied elegantly behind in a French plait, and her hazel brown eyes that smiled down upon me, as she took in my sight. All the anxiety that was bordering me instantly vanished.

She pushed the door open, and smiled brightly at me, "Kripa!" she beamed, "What a pleasant surprise!" She hugged me warmly and I felt a bit uneasy, guilty for not meeting her earlier, as she pulled back and looked at me again. Pushing the door shut, she grabbed my wrist and we walked in the living room.

A cool mantle piece stood elegantly besides the fire place, a patio overlooking the deck, a chandelier hung loose from the high ceiling and all around I caught sight of little pots with plants. She really loved gardening, like mom, was my first thought and I wondered for a billionth time as she held my hand, whether we got along real well and how I should play along with her. Pretend I'd my memory and be nice to her or to stick with the truth.

Before I could decide she turned around, "I'll grab you some coffee." she said brightly to me, "Why don't you take a seat? I'll be right back" She walked back to the kitchen - no longer in my vision, so instead I looked around the room. Taking in notice, the things I hadn't seen earlier, the old Persian rug draped elegantly on the floor, a small cozy bar by to the left, a family portrait stood above the fireplace.

I'm not entirely sure when I made the decision to stand up, but before I knew it I was standing by the fireplace lifting one of the frames with two boys grinning like devils at the camera with mud smeared all over their shirt and shorts, while a football stood in the center. The taller one looked no older than seven. Angad. I couldn't help but grin, as I noticed the window between his teeth. He'd just lost two of his front teeth. While, Mahen, appeared about five beside him and they both were pushing the other off the picture.

Yet another frame held a beautiful young girl who smiled down at the picture, she looked like a doll, I decided. Aaliyah. In another stood Naina Khanna with her both hands casually hung around the two boys that stood in front of her, while Dilip Khanna had his arms casually draped around her waist and one arm extending to their daughter. They were all smiling down in the picture making the picture perfect family. Would Angad and I have had the same? How many kids would we have? Three? Four? Five?

"Beautiful, Isn't it?"

I turned around. Naina Khanna had returned back in the room with a tray firmly held in her hand and she was smiling at me, as she placed the tray down. I wondered for how long she had been standing there watching me.

"Yes," I admitted getting the cup from her hand, "The pictures are wonderful."

"Would you like to see some more?" she asked me, her gaze still studying me. My hand tightened around the cup, as I wondered whether she could make out my thoughts.

"Yes." I nodded clipping my voice, "That would be nice."

……….

For the next few minutes we didn't speak much, except when Naina Khanna filled me in on some of the pictures and the events associated with them. It was wonderful to sit with her and listen to her talk. She was a wonderful person. The type to give anyone space when they wanted to, the type you looked forward to hang out with, the type to listen to your problems and the type to give you wonderful advice. She was polite, warm, beautiful with a lovely smile that could light the entire room.

We continued flipping through the photo albums for a long time my eyes looking for Angad in each picture and surprisingly even his family. It wasn't just about him, I realized, it was about every person he was associated with.

When I asked her whether I could keep a particular picture she didn't a word, except nod at me and I carefully placed the picture in my purse. By the time I turned around I realized she'd put all the albums aside.

She'd finally turned to face me, "How are you Kripa?" she asked me lightly sipping on her coffee, as if she were waiting to introduce an important subject.

"I'm okay." I said with a faint smile. For some reason a lie didn't suffice, so I stuck with the truth. Either way I don't think I would be able to lie to her something prevented me, "Thanks for sharing the pictures with me. I really enjoyed that!"

"I knew you would." She said finishing her coffee, and then she didn't say a word for a long time. I just sat there staring at my coffee and looking out the window. The sky had turned darker and a low grumble could be heard any minute now. It would rain tonight, I mused.

Finally after a very long time, I heard her clear her throat, "Would you mind if I ask you a question Kripa?"

"No." I shook my head, "Not at all."

"Are you certain you have your memory back?"

……….

I narrated to her everything, about my meeting with Lucy at the office and everything Lucy had informed to me about Angad and my relationship.

We'd met for the first time in college on a cold night, Lucy had said and then we'd briefly dated each other for a short while before separating. It was Angad's decision, Lucy had informed me proudly and a little too loudly, looking satisfied.

Then she'd looked disturbed when she'd narrated to me the details surrounding our marriage. Apparently we'd met again two years later when our parents had decided to get us married and Angad had been pressurized to marry me, even though he didn't want to. The marriage had hardly lasted for a year.

"Don't mind my words." Lucy had pointedly remarked back at the office, "But Angad desperately wanted to get out of the marriage and he was so fed up with you that he'd filled the divorce papers immediately, then you begged him not to divorce you, but he still did." She'd sighed dramatically, "Good Lord! You were a pain in the ass, Sharma!"

Yet I hadn't believed a word she'd said, until I'd seen the divorce papers and Angad's signature on them. Though I'd still asked in hope the reason we still stayed together, but then her hateful words about 'pitying' had been so disturbing I'd walked out.

As I finished narrating everything for the first time since that night I realized Lucy had painted a terrible picture of both me and Angad something I hadn't realized earlier.

Naina Khanna was silent for a few seconds and the various emotions that I'd seen seconds earlier on her face had vanished to be replaced with a frown.

"She told you all that?" She asked me finally clearing her throat.

"Yes."

"And you believed her?"

"Yes."

She sighed and cleared her throat, "I don't think that was a wise move, Kripa. Based on her story you'd the right to –" She hesitated for a brief second, "I daresay you should have confronted Angad about your past. Now I don't blame you, since I do realize you dislike confrontations, though by believing Lucy you haven't given Angad the benefit of a doubt."

"I don't understand" I said looking at her, "I saw the divorce papers and even if I'd confronted Angad about our past. Would it have saved our marriage?"

"You would never find the answer to that, unless you did it, Kripa." She looked at me, "I'll clear up a few things for you though Lucy and Angad were never in love. Yes your marriage had been an arranged one and a divorce was about to take place – he'd signed the papers, and you were yet to sign them, but after your accident, as far as I can see your relationship evolved much deeper and unless I'm very much mistaken you fell in love with him ag….." She stopped for a second when she caught the look on my face, "Please don't deny it Kripa. I saw you, as we went through those pictures earlier."

"But does that matter?"

"It matters, Kripa" She said holding my hand and smiling with warmth, "When two people are in love with each other as much as you and Angad I simply don't see any reason why they should be separating."

"But" I said, "I think he was just being nice to me that night, since he understood my feelings."

She looked at me in disbelief and then to my surprise she inclined her head to the side, and burst out laughing, "He is a nice kid Kripa, but he is not 'that' nice. And are we talking about a sacrifice here on Angad's part?" She chuckled a bit more, "Believe me, Kripa, if he had it in his hand he wouldn't have let you out of the house that night. The only reason he did is because for some unfathomable reason he foolishly believed you and agreed to your happiness that night, Kripa."

"Are you suggesting he loves me?"

She bit her lip suppressing the smile and nodded.

"Are you certain?"

She burst out laughing again, "Oh YES, I'm very certain." She sipped lightly from her cup, "I met him the other night and he looks terrible Kripa."

"What do I do now?"

"Why, you love him, he loves you…. is there anything more I can recommend?" She titled her head looking amused, "Go talk to him, Kripa."

"I can't." I told her realizing Angad's attitude to me earlier today, "He has been very distant to me lately. I'm certain he has fallen out of love."

She chuckled, "Love never gets old, Kripa. No matter how distant he is with you Kripa. I want you to talk to him and to tell him the truth." She gave me a warm smile, "If that boy doesn't learn you are in love with him by the end of tonight, then I myself will do the good deed tomorrow morning."

I hesitated. It all sounded too good to be true, "Can I get some more time? I don't think I'm ready yet." I don't think I'll ever be ready.

"You're ready, Kripa" she said patting my shoulder, "Confrontations are good."

"But I don't know anything about our past…"

"Well, then he will provide you the answers."

I grinned at her and gave her what I considered to be a good excuse, "I've heard distance makes the heart grow fonder."

She grinned back, "No, you've enough love to last a lifetime." She pressed my hand encouraging me, "Talk to him, Kripa."

………

I walked to our apartment that night to grab a few things of mine. It was a nice excuse to sit and have a chat with Angad. I'd carefully written down all the things I would say to him and I had kept the paper folded in my pocket.

I pressed lightly on the doorbell stepping back. For a brief second I wondered how I looked since I'd taken the effort to apply faint makeup tonight, light mascara, slight blush and a little lip gloss and eye liner. I'd tied my hair up in a lose pony tail.

I was wearing a loose skirt with a very floral design, a black tank top, a loose jacket and a big cowboy type hat which didn't exactly go along with my attire, but which, I was in the mood for wearing and it didn't matter if anyone classified me weird for that. I was weird.

The door opened and he looked faintly annoyed before he caught me standing in front of him. The annoyance instantly disappeared and he stepped back opening the door for me.

"Sorry, I should have called" I said to him the minute I walked in, I tried to decipher his thoughts and absently tripped on one of the shoes. Great.

Before I could fall straight on my face and break my crooked nose he caught me quickly and helped me find my balance.

"Thanks." I said to him quietly, as he stepped back, "I didn't realize you would be busy. I'll be quick."

I shouldn't have said all that. But let's just say the minute I saw him I felt like turning around in the opposite direction and running. Like really run. Naina Khanna had been right, I realised releasing my breath, I really did hate confrontations. No amount of logic, persuasion, thought or anything would be able to make me say a word.

He nodded and disappeared in the kitchen. I looked on at his back for a few more seconds opening my mouth and then shutting it, finally I made my way to the bedroom. Tomorrow, I promised myself, I would call him and tell him everything on the phone. That would be a lot better.

Yet unmistakably I knew I wouldn't be able to tell him a word. I still needed time, I realised, a lot more time. No letters, emails, phone conversation would be able to make me say the truth.

Defeated I took out a small bag peeled it open and rushed to the closet. I began to remove every single outfit of mine and place it in the bag. When was I going to be able to get over this ridiculous fear for confrontations?

Never.

………

I could hear Maula mere Maula blast from the radio a few minutes later, as I was packing. And I despised it. Don't get me wrong I don't hate the song. In fact I'm one of those few, who can profuse their love for the song. I loved the song. But at the moment I despised it. Since the timing was ridiculous.

Thanks to the song, I could totally picture my husband standing in one corner of an alley wearing a white shirt, a white pant, a white coat looking all handsome, sad with the wind blowing on his hair. I could totally picture myself on the opposite end of the alley wearing a white shirt, a white pant, my hair loose blowing lightly in the wind looking all sad.

Does that ring a bell?

I'm very much influenced by movies and television shows and I could totally picture that happening. In fact I knew it would happen. Because I-Kripa-Sharma-am-twenty-six-year-old-an-editor-of-a-very-re putated-magazine-am-a-chicken. Tok-tok-tok-ock-ock-ock.
Now I just needed to flap my hands.

That's when I saw it.

It was moving right beside me on the wall. Hideous in color, wagging its tail pointedly, looking at me in attack mode.

A lizard.

Did I ever mention the second on my list of fears?

The next second I ran straight out of the room into Angad.

"What happened Kripa??" He looked tensed, as he looked at me, "What's wrong?"

"ANGAD!" I shook him lightly in panic, "Let's go!" A lizard in the other room. A lizard. I grabbed his hand and even though he protested I made him stand on the couch beside me and we both looked down. Well it was mainly me and he was just following my action.

"What exactly are we looking at?" He asked me a second later following my gaze.

"shhhh!" I yelled at him like a true wife protecting her husband, "It will hear us. And it will kill us!"

Let's just that's when my overactive imagination kicked into a start. And I started to picture the lizard biting me as well. My imagination convinced me it was true. I panicked grabbing his hand for support. That was how it all tumbled out.

………

IAMGOINGTODIEANGADISWEARITBITMEANDIAMGOINGTODIEIDONTWANTODIE ANGADIDONTWANTTODIEILOVEYOUSOMUCH

I blabbered. And there was no stop to my rambling now.

I doubt he understood a word of mine, until finally my speed decreased, "I never wanted to divorce you. That frog faced Lucy convinced me you wanted a divorce so I decided to divorce you for your happiness. The truth is that I love you, Angad Khanna. I have always loved you. Ever since I opened my eyes and I spotted you in the room with Mahen that night I fell in love with you!" I cried out.

I stopped shaking still keeping my eyes glued on the door. What if the lizard slipped from under it? After all we'd to be prepared!

"There are so many things I want to do with you, Angad. I want to have four kids with you." I cheerfully remarked, "I have decided the names for the first one as well. If we have a son we'll name him Ayan or Aryan. If we have a daughter we will name her Priya or Bhavana. But that won't be possible now since I'm going to die. That stupid lizard bit me. I'm going to die Angad. Can you believe it I'm going to die? And I don't want to die. I want to be with you this time for-"

Before I could say a word more he grabbed me and kissed me hard on the lips. "shhh!" He said looking at me and pulling me closer, "You're crazy Kripa!"

"Angad!" I protested weakly pulling out, "You're going to be infected."

"No." He protested tightening his grip on my hand, "I'm here, Kripa." He looked dead serious holding me, "I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

"But-"

"You're not going to die, Kripa." He said calmly holding my hand, "The lizards here don't bite. And they aren't scary at all. They are disgusting. But they don't hurt you at all."

Did that surprise me? No, not at all. I always knew that. Except sometimes logic and knowledge didn't help you in overcoming your ridiculous fears and notions and from embarassing yourself.

"Now do you love me, Kripa?"

He lifted my chin.

I met his eyes, "Yes. But-"

"You moron!" He yelled, "All this time I went nuts thinking where I went wrong. But instead it turns out you love me and you hid it from me!"

He had this Hmph look. He was angry. Very angry.

"AND you didn't get your memory back at all! You lied to me about everything didn't you Kripa?"

"But it was for your happiness." I protested weakly.

"Do you know where my happiness lies Kripa?"

I shook my head, "No."

"With you."

………

It felt like a dream. A wonderful dream. We were together at last. The past two weeks we had stayed apart had been a nightmare. If only I had confronted him that night was my first thought, if only I had spoken the truth. Sometimes I wondered whether honesty was outrageously underrated.

"So did you miss me?" He asked me with a smile when we were sitting up outside on the patio looking at the sky.

"No." I grinned, "Of course not. I was busy trying to plan out a strategy to cross Shahid Kapoor's path and make him fall in love with me."

He grinned back, "Right." He sat up, "Need any help on your strategy?"

"No." I chuckled heartily shaking my head, "It's your turn now. Did you miss me?"

"Yes." He smiled, "A lot."

"Can I ask you a question Angad?"

"Yes."

"Tell me everything. Why were we planning to divorce?"

He sat up rubbing his brow looking a bit tensed and then he spoke.

We met for the first time on a late college night. Angad didn't speak much about that night, except that it was a very beautiful night, he said, since he had met me. We dated for about six months and fell madly in love, but decided to separate since he had to move out to Boston to start his practice. Two years passed by and we met again. This time at a family function, he was dating Lucy at that time, but our parents adamantly arranged our marriage.

Thinking back now he said we both refused to acknowledge our love. He confessed that although he was still very much in love with me, he didn't say a word since he feared I'd moved on and he didn't want to pressurize me into loving him. We got married and then settled in New York.

He said that I remained very much distant for him and I'd changed very much from the girl I was two years back. At times he wondered whether I was trying to run out of the marriage. Hardly a year later he confessed to me that the marriage was not working out and I suggested the possibility of a divorce. He agreed to it and signed the papers, but before I could sign the divorce papers that night I met up with a terrible accident. The doctors informed him that I'd lost my memory and he decided to help me out till I got my memory back, but he wasn't at all prepared for falling in love with me again, he finished with a gentle smile.

"I don't understand." I said quietly to him, "I mean we clearly loved each other very much right? Then what happened? I just can't believe that I didn't love you anymore after those two years. How is that possible? How can I not love you? You're the most handsome, sweetest, kind, amazing guy, I know."

He gave me a sweet smile biting his lip, "I would like to remind you that the next time you think of crossing Shahid Kapoor's path." Then he thought back over my words turning serious, "I'm not certain about that, Kripa" He confessed to me, "At times I did believe you loved me very much. I could simply tell. But then that was quite contradictory to your behavior."

"You mentioned you were dating Lucy right? Was I aware of that Angad?"

"Yes."

"Do you think there is a distinct possibility that I might have believed you were in love with Lucy?"

"That could be true. But then it would make our whole marriage seem so ridiculous. That would mean we both loved each other, yet we both never confessed it"

"Like now."

"Hey!!" He yelled grabbing my hand, "I confessed to you that night Kripa, but you were the one who didn't and for that I just remembered you deserve to be punished."

I grinned at him, "What kind of punishment do I get?"

"Tickles."

"Tickles?"

"On the tummy"

"Noooo" I screamed chuckling, as I made a mad dash towards the door, but he caught me eventually and we tumbled down on the floor laughing crazily.

………


A month later, I'd my memory back. And it was fine, like Angad had said, we'd worked it all out. And he still loved me and I still loved him and nothing mattered more than that. Yes we both had been idiotic in the past and hadn't made the right confessions, but it was all okay now.

Humming an out of date tune to myself, which sounded familiar, yet I couldn't place the title to it, I gripped the tomatoes in one hand and the cucumbers in the other, as I spread a chopping board on the countertop and proceeded to chop them very finely, in those chef like ways.

Smiling to myself, as I chopped the cucumbers very prettily, I laid them out on the dish, and then proceeded on to chop the tomatoes. The radio blasted behind me and I could hear the distant voice of Carrie Underwood ring in my ear, as I set the plate to the side and grabbed on to the onions.

It was a late cozy Saturday night, and I was preparing a late night meal for my husband – it felt nice to finally say that. Perhaps we could sit in front of the television watch some nice romantic movie, while having our dinner and stay late night partying over my pregnancy, or we could have our dinner and head out for a long drive, I mused, as I set the onions on the dish. Satisfied with the decorative pretty outlook, I hummed to myself, as I peeled off the skin of the chocolate wrappers and tossed one into my mouth.

"Angad, when did you come?" I asked, as I was pleasantly surprised to find my husband stand by the door frame with his eyes on me, leaning back and watching me.

"When you were busy debating, whether to chop the tomatoes or to make them in your lotus like way" He says smiling, as I walk forward to get my kiss, "How're you doing choco gurl?"

"Good," I replied with a smile, lifting the jar with peanuts in one hand, and the dishes in the other, "Can you please grab the glasses and the wine?"

He smiled, "You're awfully in a good mood today"

"I am"

"May I know why?"

"Sure, thing." I said lifting the vessel off, "I'm pregnant"

The wine he was sipping on spilled on his shirt, as he blinked and looked at me, "What did you just say?"

"I said, I'm pregnant" I smiled, as I held his hand, while he grinned, and pulled me in his arms, and kissed me hard, "I love you" he said, raining me with kisses as I laughed.

A moment later, he sighed and wrapped his arms around my waist, "I love you too" I replied, kissing his cheek.

"Are you happy?"

"Of course" he replied grinning, as he pulled me closer, "You've made me the happiest man on earth."

"Will you stop watching me now?"

He frowned, "Why?"

"Because, you're making me very nervous"

He grinned, "Excellent" he replied, nuzzling with my hair, "I love watching you get nervous"

I blushed, as I fidgeted with my hands, "You're awful" I said hitting his shoulder, "This time I'm for sure giving you a divorce"

"Do you think I'm going to let you off so easily?"

"Maybe I'll annoy you so much that you will be forced to let me go" I teased him.

"But I'll love you still"

"Even, if I'm annoying?"

"Even, if you're annoying"

"Even, if I'm stupid?"

"Yes, even if you're stupid"

"You're not supposed to say that, you're supposed to be like, Kripa you're not stupid, luuuuve"

He grinned, "Alright, Kripa luuuuve" as he held my hand, "You're not stupid. There. Is that better?"

"Yeah" I said with a smile raining a series of kisses on his face, "I love you so damn much hubby dearest"

………..

I hope you guyz enjoyed the last part. I will be eagerly waiting for your comments. I'll post the Epilogue next week. It will be their first meeting and hopefully the confusion over the Prologue will be cleared then.

Great ending. Now we know everything that happened. The part with the lizard and Kripa was funny. Good thing the lizard came or she might not have said anythig to Angad.

😃

awesome ending!! it was too cute!!
that stupid lucy!!! i hope she died and went to hell!!
and thank godd kripa talked to naina and some answers and misunderstandings out of the way or she would have suffered very very much!!
and awww she was soo cute when she was afraid of the lizard and soo dam hilarious!! afraid that it was gonna bite her and infect her!! boy is she crazy!! ahahaha! but in that way she confessed her love! soo cute!!
and angad is adorable!! 😃
and she is pregnant! how cool!! and awesome!!
finally a perfect ending for the world's most perfect couple!! 😃
loved it! and enjoyed this fan fic very much!!!! 😃

hey great ending..clad they sorted everything out 👏

loved kripa and naina's discussion. it was awesome. i'm glad that she went to talk to naina or else she would have never confronted angad. naina is a gr8 mother for sure....only bcoz of naina angad and kripa r togeather. or else both of them would have never confessed to each other.

gosh!!! that idiot lucy lied to kripa. wonder wht happened wid her... but i'm glad that kripa told the story to naina about wht lucy told her....that helped a lot.

aww..kripa was really nervous to talk to angad....but i loved the confrontation. thanx to the lizard after naina, the lizard was the one who forced kripa to blurt out everything.

oh,the part was really funny.....wen in hurry she said that she already decided the name of her son and daughter. i found that funny and cute. i was cracking up while reading the whole scene.

aww...the last part was really cute wen she said that she was pregnant....and angad being shocked.

thanx for an awesome and a long part.



~Sana~

Okay, here's my comment for everything that I missed. Good luck tryna figure em out😆😆😆

I love you. Yes Sonali,I do love you, but just repeating Kripa's words here ;] haha

That was cute. She loves him. Damn. She bought tickets to a movie and he had to go because something came up. Don't flirt with the plumber?! ROFL! I love this guy so much.

OH! And men's aftershave?! LMAO! That was adorable. I remember how there was this perfume I kept staring at forever deciding if I should put it on or not [I was like 7] and then as soon as I picked it up my eyes caught the "men" part on it and I nearly dropped the bottle. Lolz

Husband was compelled to marry you and love someone else? Wh-what? Leave him?! No Kripa no! Grr man.

He loves you dammit!

Yea, a calm Angad at a time like this = creepy.

Oh mann I love the pulse beating in the jaw. Oh damnn. You writers really know how to make us readers go sawwwwwwwwwwwwooooon. Lol.

Divorce. Damn. Very random.

Damnn. Don't hug him. RAWR. Don't kiss her cheek. That just makes it harder for me if not for them. Lol.

Argh. Damn that girl for lying!

He loves you girl, you ain't gonna find a guy like him again. You're the most foolish girl ever for even thinking of him not loving you. UGH

Her rescuing Angad? God I found that amusing amidst all the seriousness!

Count the remaining hairs of the bald announcer's head. LMAO!

He moved on? No friggin way. I ain't believin that!

Aww a 7 year old Angad who's missing 2 middle teeth, and is playing football, all muddy. Cute!!!

I knew Naina was suspicious about her memory! Especially after the pictures and all!

Grr Lucy's such a ******!!!!

Fallen out of love? Haha, oh Kripa. Lol.

Oh godd. I love her attire. I want a cowboy hat too! Lol. :P

Ahhahahahaha! LMAO I love how the whole lizard thing lead her to say all that! Rofl.

HAHA! She knew that stuff about the lizards? AAHHAAHHAHA!

She's so cute. Lol!

Rawr they are so damn adorable! Lol I loved the ending man, only you could've gone through the twists and turns and given us such a beautiful, smooth ending!

I loved the story, it was absolutely wonderful! And I'm damn serious here!

Love you,

Madzz

P.S- My comments are sorta jumbled so you prolly have no idea what I'm talking about when 😳

😛 😛 😛 AWSUMMMMM partttttttttttt :D....that was toooooooooooooooo cute....aww m happpy misunderstandins got cleared 😃 Cant wait for epilogue and hope u have a new ff soon 😃


Sakshi

grt part...loved it...please post the epi. soon...waiting 4 it 😃

mindblowing ening just loved it but it was unexpectingly quick wow theres gonna be a epilogue too great cant wait for it really excitng fascinating and unique fic great job