My Fanfic-Uncontrollable Emotionspt14pg18

drymaple thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#1

Here goes my fanfic...plz comment even if you don't like it😭

its a bit long though...excitement mein bahaut likh dala😳 😆

Uncontrollable Emotions

The morning was kissing the curtains that stopped it from entering the room, where Naina was sleeping peacefully beneath several folds of soft cotton. Her long hair made a mess of her pillow, her slim frame curved into a bow…she slept like a child...silent and deep, she made practically no sound at all. It looked like she was deeply engrossed in a dream, which had captured her senses completely.

"I don't know what to say…I am lost Naina…I can't come out of my guilt"

Naina stood silently looking down, trying to find something to look at, trying to figure out how to react to all this. "He names it as guilt???!!" she thought…fighting back a tear.

"But I can't hold it back anymore…even though it is not correct…"

Naina sensed his coming near to her…she took a step back…

"No…don't." he said coming nearer till he reached a distance where she could feel his breathing. He held her face in both hands and softly forced her to look at him…which she couldn't…she closed her eyes …afraid to look at the person…she loved so much.

One large drop of tear rolled down her cheek…He whispered to her closed eyes "you look beautiful when you cry…" and kissed the eye which had shed that pretty tear.

"After so many days …I can gather the strength to tell you this…Naina Singh ahluwalia…I am proud to say that I am in---- " which was cut short by a loud knock at the door…

Naina's heart that was beating fast…stopped suddenly when she realized what was happening…she broke away from him.

He was shaken, first the academy and now his fate is stopping him from doing what he always wanted to do. He glanced at Naina who was looking away from him.

"Come in"

Maj. Nair entered the room…with a faint amusement on his face. He looked at Naina and to Him and said, "Congratulations Capt Shekhawat, You have been promoted. The Army is thankful to you…because of you Navin Singh Ahluwalia is proved not only a traitor, but also a murderer and the army regrets that you faced such humiliation because of a false rumour about your love affair and is ready to take back what it said about you. You can collect your promotion order from Brig. Chandok"

"Nooooooooo!!" Naina got up…her hands clutching her head tightly, "NOOO!!" she cried out and ran towards the window…parting the curtains with force. "You can't do this to me…never…"

"Yudi!… Yudi….! Yudi!" Cheered, hundreds of excited people trying to have a glance of their favourite contender.

It was a large boxing ring…in which a very large man was standing to get his hands on this so called champion.

Yudi entered…and the moment he did …girls screamed…snaps were taken…whistles were blown. Every one wanted to have a look at the handsome, muscular…and brown eyed Yaduvan Sahani…. Lieutenant Yaduvan Sahani.

The large man sneered at Yudi and the audience. Yudi looked around and waved. The referee called both of them and asked them to exchange friendly gestures. Yudi and the man punched softly on each of their shoulders. The large man laughed at Yudi "You look like a Pup!!" To which Yudi replied "thanks… You are going to be one"

The referee blew a whistle.

The match started…

The large man tried to punch Yudi…Yudi dodged. The large man tried another…which again was dodged by Yudi. "Is this your best?" asked Yudi sarcastically. "Shut up Kid!"

shouted the man And aimed a hook at side of Yudi's head and hit him hard. Yudi jerked backwards spurting out blood from his mouth. "Aha!" shouted the large man amused. "Good!" answered Yudi, wiping the blood and gestured the large man to come and hit him again. The man got mad at Yudi and aimed another powerful punch, which Yudi dodged and Punched him hard and then knocked a Jab and punched again. The man fell backwards on the floor of the Ring. For a moment he didn't speak or stir. And last he got up, hardly able to stand. But still ran towards Yudi…yelling…as if to use his last ounce of power. And tried to punch…Yudi caught hold of his gloved hand with his left hand and Punched him with his right one. "So long Pup!" said Yudi smiling his way through victory.

Yudi won.

(some hours later)

"Ahhh! Stop doing that mom!" cried Yudi.

"Uff! Kitni baar kahoon yeh boxing chod de…hai mera beta..kitne bedardi se pita hai us kalmuhe ne… tu agar yeh sab band nahi karega main tere papa se kehdoongi"

"no mom!" Stood up Yudi…looking at her with a look of horror. "kya mom! I have just come from the valley..for a holiday and you want me not to do something which I am starting to enjoy immensely?"

"chup kar!, now come here I haven't finished bandaging you…" she went on bandaging applying the antiseptic at the wrong places and yudi responding to these by shouting and crying.

"Yudi…teri behen ki shaadi hone waali hai…tujhe yaad hai na…?"

Yudi gave her a suspicious look,wondering that why his mom is asking him such a stupid question. "haan….kya hua?"

"her fiance wants you to accompany them to Shimla…and I have agreed without asking you.."

Yudi looked angrily at his mother but instead found her mother smiling foolishly at him, pleading him to agree too.

"don't look at me like that…when do I have to go?" enquired Yudi, sounding cross.

"tomorrow morning"

"what!"

"please beta"

"fine!"

"Now I have to pack my bags now!"

"errr…I have packed them already"

"mom!!!!!????!!!"

"ab jaa soja…goodnight beta" said his mom wanting to run away as fast as she can and shut the door behind her.

Yudi stared at the door. "I had to fight another match tomorrow…damn!...I lost another chance to prove something.."

****************************************************** ************

i will write about the navin case later in my fanfic..😊
Edited by drymaple - 18 years ago

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sanyamalhotra thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#2
Start is definitely very guuuud Dear!!!!Bt do 1 thing....hold onto ur excitement so dat u write long parts every time....D longer d better!!!
Post ur nxt part sooon!!!
Prenz~13 thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#3
👏 👏 👏 gr888 work devu 😃 (i hope its ok if i call u dat.. 😊 )
i luved it...n m sply wanting 2 no more bout dat dream of nainas... 😳
its a gr88 start 👏 ..do continue fast 😳 ...n bout da long parts...jus keep dem cumin nice n long jus like dis..!! 😛 😃
Swapna-Mobile thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#4
Awesome yaar devyani 👏 ...its awesome...nice to c yudi confident...differnt from his conphoosed image 😉
Swapna-mobile 😳
angeliclooks_me thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#5
dat was awesome devu dear!! 👏 plzzzz do continu sooooon! 👏
drymaple thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#6
[Quote=sanya]Start is definitely very guuuud Dear!!!!Bt do 1 thing....hold onto ur excitement so dat u write long parts every time....D longer d better!!!
Post ur nxt part sooon!!!
thank you thank you!!!! 😊 i am glad !! 😳

Originally posted by: coolgirl_13

👏 👏 👏 gr888 work devu 😃(i hope its ok if i call u dat..😊)
i luved it...n m sply wanting 2 no more bout dat dream of nainas... 😳
its a gr88 start 👏 👏 👏..do continue fast 😳...n bout da long parts...jus keep dem cumin nice n long jus like dis..!! 😛 😃
thank uuuuuuuu prerna!!... 😳 😳 😳 i am more than happy to get comments from a super-fanfic writer! 😳 😳 its completely okay..if you call me devu...my friends often call me that! 😳 😳 😳
thanks thanks thanks! 😳

kanak1309 thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#7
Oh My Goodness.... this is absolutely awesome...
👏
keep it up devyani... u do hav the talent....
do write long parts coz its too small for me 😕 😕 😕

anyways... I loved all the dialogs and my fav was Yudi's mom's.... so typical 😆

and Naina.... kya kahe.... maine us part ko abhi tak 3 baar padh liya hai.... and hav been imagining it since then....'
i really wish this happens in the show too 😳

btw... one question... who is Neelu going to get married to???

do write soon
waiting eagerly for it 😳 😳 😳

luv
kanak
Edited by tere_bin - 18 years ago
drymaple thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#8

Originally posted by: tere_bin

Oh My Goodness.... this is absolutely awesome...
👏
keep it up devyani... u do hav the talent....
do write long parts coz its too small for me 😕 😕 😕

anyways... I loved all the dialogs and my fav was Yudi's mom's.... so typical 😆

and Naina.... kya kahe.... maine us part ko abhi tak 3 baar padh liya hai.... and hav been imagining it since then....'
i really wish this happens in the show too 😳

btw... one question... who is Neelu going to get married to???

do write soon
waiting eagerly for it 😳 😳 😳

luv
kanak

thaaaaaaaaankssssss kanak!!!!!😳

u know what even i love naina's part....😳😳😳

hey can you make a siggy for my fanfic??😳😳

i love all ur siggies...😊

and about neelu....that's a secret!😳😛

thanks a ton a million stars for liking my FF!!😊

i will post next part soon😊 i have my MODAT tomorrow...yeh IMS wale maar dalenge!😡

take care,

devyani.

kanak1309 thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#9

Originally posted by: drymaple

thaaaaaaaaankssssss kanak!!!!!😳

u know what even i love naina's part....😳😳😳

hey can you make a siggy for my fanfic??😳😳

i love all ur siggies...😊

and about neelu....that's a secret!😳😛

thanks a ton a million stars for liking my FF!!😊

i will post next part soon😊 i have my MODAT tomorrow...yeh IMS wale maar dalenge!😡

take care,

devyani.


umm.... i dont know much about the story..... is it a "only RN story" ? or is it like all the 6 cadets are there too?
seems like everything.....
plz clarify......
but if u just want Naina in the siggy I can make RN in love.....
FC ke liye banate banate kaafi practise ho gaya hai 😉😉😉

anyways.... il surely make it..... dont worry be happy😉😉

also.....plz could me PM me any specifications u want in the siggy... it wud be easier for me.....

btw... all the best for ur MODAT (dont know what it is... but seems like IMS hai to obviously CAT preps ka hi kuch hoga....😆😆)
all the best for that too😳

luv
kanak
drymaple thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#10

PART 2!

Ritu was looking aimlessly at the ceiling…sitting on her big chair, not being able to concentrate on her case studies. Just then her mobile rang…ritu picked it up and smiled.
"Hello jaan"
"Hi Sameer"
"Bas hi?…its been days I have met you and you greet me with just a hi?"
"What shall I say then?"
"Never mind…I was expecting something romantic…. hey tell me a thing."
"What?"
"Are all psychiatrists like you…beautiful and unromantic?"
"Shut up sameer…I am just too tired of these case studies…they end up nowhere"
"That's why I offered you to come with me…Australia is a very beautiful place…you could have felt nice here, and at least I could have cheered you up, I am getting worried about you honey, you sound too tired, shall I come back?"
"Oh no sameer…I am perfectly alright…and you will be happy to know that I am planning to go to shimla to meet Shalini"
"Wow! That's great. You should get out of that den of yours now and then…when are you leaving?"
"Tomorrow…I will call you up"
"Yeah you better do…"
"Hmmm"
"Ritu?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you"
"Yeah, I know"
There was an unusual silence that was growing more before sameer stopped it…
"Bye my dearest wife, I will miss you"
"Me too, bye"
Ritu felt guilty…she knew sameer loved her more than anyone in this world but she couldn't give her 100% in the relationship…she was still haunted by her past…somewhere…HE was still there in her mind…
---------------------------------------------------------
Naina was sweating profusely."Why can't I forget that incident?" it seemed like it happened yesterday. Just then her bedside phone rang loudly tearing away her thoughts apart. She ran towards it to pick it up, wiping her sweat and taking a deep breath. "Hello?"
"Ms Ahluwalia?"
She instantly recognized that voice…it was her boss.
"Yes ma'am"
"I think your presentation is ready for the meeting?"
"Yes ma'am…I just have to adjust the profit graphs"
"Good. The company's car will drop you at the airport, tomorrow. And don't forget to enjoy yourself. Shimla is a beautiful place"
"I will ma'am, thank you."
Naina admired her Boss, she was helpful, friendly, strict at the same time, she remembered someone familiar to her…and couldn't stop hating him.
---------------------------------------------------------
Pooja was in Delhi having the time of her life.
"oye pooja…kahan thi itne din! Mausiji ne bataya ki tujhe gwalior se aaye hue dus din ho chuke hain…aur tu ab aa rahi hai!. Ab yaad aa rahi hai teri behan ki!"
"Sorry prabho, woh mera network jam ho gaya tha…aur yeh sade hue army wale mujhe connection lagane hi nahi de rahe the. Aur waise bhi main aa gayi hu na…ab kya tension hai?"
"Gwalior posting kaisi rahi?"
"Thik thak thi…bahaut akeli pad gayi thi main…subah shaam training …saans lene ko bhi time nahi tha…bas incoming hi tha…outgoing ke liye saare calls unreachable hi reh gaye"
"chal chod in baaton ko, tere liye ek surprise hai"
"kya?!!"
"humare saare cousins ne yeh decide kiya hai ki hum ghoomne jaaenge!"
"ghoomne? Kahan?"
"SHIMLA! "
"Shimla?! Really!! Wow now this is a treat!...I am dying to have some time to myself"
"And you will…chal parson nikalna hai humein..ab ghar jaa aur packing karle"

Pooja sighed. She wanted to go somewhere desperately. But somewhere in her heart she felt odd about this trip as if it was going to be something she never wanted to see. Maybe she was too used to staying alone, she discarded that thought and looked forward to the trip.
--------------------------------------------------------
(A day later)
Ali and alekh….were heading towards shimla army headquarters. They had been warned about a possible curfew going to take place in the city.
"alekh bhai, do you know anything about this curfew?"
"why do you want to know, and what is there to know?…same old thing…clash of two communities, clash of limitless demands….aur kuch nahi…tu khali pili mera bheja mat kha usool..aur waise bhi…we are going to be under some new officer..we just have to follow orders" and started whistling enjoying the landscapes on their way.
"aap kabhi kuch bhi seriously lete hain kya?"
"leta hai na……daaru" and smiled mischievously .
"aap ka kuch nahi hone wala" replied ali defeated from the useless argument and went on driving.
========================================================

Shimla was going to see something which was equal to a storm…. storm of emotions, feelings and desires.
********************************************************

Edited by drymaple - 18 years ago

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