Software Symphony 66 Care & Neglect

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Ashu25

@Ashu25

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

#1031

This!!!!

Ayyo...

I dont even know what to say!

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Nisha0604

@Nisha0604

Sparkler

Posted: 8 years ago

#1032

Shru

I agree

Especially among cousins you have to tread very gently, you cant say anything bad abt SILs kids BIL's kids everyone ultimately is protective of their own only

Tan is a very rare guy that cares for all kids equally

Women generally care for their own

Its just the beginning, as Nivi grows the competition for R&B's attention is going to intensify. II recognizes that Nivi is shy and quiet like her own husband, Lasya will walk all over her for sure

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taramira

@taramira

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#1033

Originally posted by: Nisha0604
Shru
I agree

Especially among cousins you have to tread very gently, you cant say anything bad abt SILs kids BIL's kids everyone ultimately is protective of their own only

Tan is a very rare guy that cares for all kids equally

Women generally care for their own

Its just the beginning, as Nivi grows the competition for R&B's attention is going to intensify. II recognizes that Nivi is shy and quiet like her own husband, Lasya will walk all over her for sure

I tried to be tan once and my daughter has never forgiven me till date. We joke about it now but then it was quite something. I gave something that belonged to her to my niece just out of the goodness of my heart thinking I will buy another one for my own. Gosh till today I haven't stopped hearing What a insensitively mom I was.

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Nisha0604

@Nisha0604

Sparkler

Posted: 8 years ago

#1034

I unfortunately Shru, DO IT ALL THE TIME

With friends in the community, I must be needier and must lack self respect I suspect...

I always take the side of my kids' friends. I am afraid my kids will lose their friendship I guess.

I always believe what the other kids say in an argument, teach my kids to apologize, force my kids to give up stuff.

I do it all the time

Later make peace with my kids, and say something like "Its OK it teaches you to be the bigger person, show some compassion" etc etc

I am unable to meet them eye to eye, I know I am unfair to them

Due to a catastrophic event I have woken up and now am more objective, or atleast try to be

I am no longer afraid of my kids being unpopular or losing that "one" friend.

I apologized to my oldest not too long ago, telling him how embarrassed I am and what all I did in order to make him more appealing to this other kid

I came clean, I told him how much I detest that kid's Mom and how liberated I feel by not pretending any more

I guess loss makes you realize nothing is important enough to lose self esteem over

Edited by Nisha0604 - 8 years ago

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Errantnomad

@Errantnomad

Inactive

Posted: 8 years ago

#1035

Sometimes, when we see a relative playing favorites, we as mothers get more hurt than the children themselves who don't get preferential treatment. And the worst bit is whoever is playing favorites genuinely believe that they have a reason to do so for and turn it on the parent instead for being over protective.

We have all gone through moments of parenting where we have compromised by not taking care to validate
Our own children's feelings first. In real world we only deal with flawed people... the degree of flaws is varying.

But I feel, that it's our generation. I believe that it's not going to happen with our kid's kids. The current system teaches the kids now to as priority validate their feelings first and then the parents. So when it comes to the next gen, I feel they will be more clinical, than we as parents ever managed to be.

The toughest thing as a parent is to draw a line between pampering and being protective. 😭

Edited by Errantnomad - 8 years ago

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taramira

@taramira

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#1036

Originally posted by: Nisha0604
I unfortunately Shru, DO IT ALL THE TIME
With friends in the community, I must be needier and must lack self respect I suspect...
I always take the side of my kids' friends. I am afraid my kids will lose their friendship I guess.
I always believe what the other kids say in an argument, teach my kids to apologize, force my kids to give up stuff.

I do it all the time
Later make peace with my kids, and say something like "Its OK it teaches you to be the bigger person, show some compassion" etc etc

I am unable to meet them eye to eye, I know I am unfair to them

Due to a catastrophic event I have woken up and now am more objective, or atleast try to be
I am no longer afraid of my kids being unpopular or losing that "one" friend.
I apologized to my oldest not too long ago, telling him how embarrassed I am and what all I did in order to make him more appealing to this other kid
I came clean, I told him how much I detest that kid's Mom and how liberated I feel by not pretending any more

I guess loss makes you realize nothing is important enough to lose self esteem over

Nishaaa!! Ditto ditto...these lines of becoming the bigger person, how does it matter, we know we ard right, I get scoffed at now if I use them so I simply don't. I too have made my peace with my oldest because she has had to face the brunt of my inability to stand up for her growing up.

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Sonal Gupta

@sonalgupta2004

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 8 years ago

#1037

I think we all do favouratism... may be the scene and motive be different
But it happens and no one can do anything bout it
You tend to get protective bout your kid and sometimes relations take an upper hand
I myself hav done that many times
And wht I feel it don't harm an elder relationship in long run as we all are mature enough to understand the situation
Uneasyness may be momentarily but you forget...

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Sonal Gupta

@sonalgupta2004

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 8 years ago

#1038

And wht I hav learnt best is
that one should never get in between the kids as after sometimes they will again play with each other like nothing happened and you will feel like a fool so it's the best thing to keep yourself out of kids matters
👏
😆

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Ashu25

@Ashu25

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

#1039

Nisha...shruti...

The same thing happens with me...personally.

I am this cow who goes around forgiving people...giving them chances to exploit me all the more..demean me all the more...disrespect me all the more...dont care if I exist...dont bother to talk or meet...its always me who takes the initiative in beginning the cleaning . friendship is sooo careless and worthless these days. I wonder sometime if I am so happy going around convincing people of my existence.

I have no self respect literally.

I pity myself.

Dontvknow whwn I will start bwing opinionated. .judgemental...ruthless..

This world is f**king hypocrisy

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taramira

@taramira

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#1040

Originally posted by: Ashu25
Nisha...shruti...
The same thing happens with me...personally.
I am this cow who goes around forgiving people...giving them chances to exploit me all the more..demean me all the more...disrespect me all the more...dont care if I exist...dont bother to talk or meet...its always me who takes the initiative in beginning the cleaning . friendship is sooo careless and worthless these days. I wonder sometime if I am so happy going around convincing people of my existence.
I have no self respect literally.
I pity myself.
Dontvknow whwn I will start bwing opinionated. .judgemental...ruthless..
This world is f**king hypocrisy

ASHU, people can be mean, insensitive and generally horrid, but the world is not such a bad place afterall. Try to find a good fit and don't give everything you have. At the end of the day you are your own best friend and no one can strip you of that. Expectations from any relationship are bound to hurt, you just have to change the way you view people and relationships. Not easy but for your own happiness, you've got to do it.

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Software Symphony 66 Care & Neglect - Page 104

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