~Arhi FF~#5~The Hands of Time ~ New Banner ~Sep 5 2020

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Posted: 9 years ago

#201

I m glad dat akash told everything to lavanya..
She deserves to know.. Awsm part..

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Arshi67

@Arshi67

Sparkler

+ 13

Posted: 9 years ago

#202

At no point did I find myself skimming! I just don't in your story Sandhya, simply because your writing doesn't allow me to. As regards question 1, that would be when I read of "The charming blue and ivory Nilgiris toy train" :)

Akash's thoughts, as he sat at the table, were so telling of the power of a craving. The need that pushes itself to the fore, regardless of your best efforts. The self loathing that accompanies it. The tumult within him, as his body fought with his head, was beautifully contrasted with the normal everyday actions of a family at breakfast. That implosion, when it came, was vicious. But, as you have said, this part of the story is "disintegration". The hurt and pain which come with it will have to be borne.

Again, you contrasted beautifully between words that kill something in you and ones that give birth to hope, as had Lavanya's words. And it's the existence of hope of something better which gives us the impetus to carry on.

On a separate note, I totally see Aarti wanting the Panditji to come set up the previous day. That element of leaving to the last minute would be anathema for someone as controlled as her!

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orchids8888

@orchids8888

Voyager

Posted: 9 years ago

#203

Thank you tons for updating chapter 16-part 1.😛

I loved the update.🤗

This update is intense. It happens a lot of times in real life... We ignore the people that are with us & continue to wait for those that are not with us...

Here Akash spoke the truth but its difficult to digest for a parent that her daughter is dead...😭

You have brilliantly written this update.👏

Lavanya is a good influence on Akash... She is helping him to change for better...⭐️

PS: Dear I genuinely feel that I began getting the grip of this story from the beginning itself... I absolutely have no complaints... I go through every chapter in detail... So for me, this story is perfect...😃

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bkamber

@bkamber

Rocker

Posted: 9 years ago

#204

😊

My thoughts - Ayur Devta
..

❤️

Be back later to read other comments!!

Edited by bkamber - 9 years ago

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Aaradhaya1688

@aaradhaya1688

Dazzler

+ 5

Posted: 9 years ago

#205

Loved d update

Thanks for the pm

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orchids8888

@orchids8888

Voyager

Posted: 9 years ago

#206

Originally posted by: bkamber
😊

My thoughts - Ayur Devta
..

❤️

Be back later to read other comments!!

Dear I loved your DP. .. 😛

Downton Abbey is my favourite... I loved it... 🤗

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mpat

@mpat

Dazzler

Posted: 9 years ago

#207

Originally posted by: AquaSandhya

The story began when the three doors slammed...Hmmm... interesting :)

My biggest concern was skimming but almost all of you are saying ...you don't skim. You gals are being #SuperNice to me :D

😊 Doors. I see three people, Aarti, Arnav and Akash retreat into their own space, but with a difference this time. Each behaved differently then they usually do. Start of reflections and revelations thru the storm!

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thechaigirl

@thechaigirl

Inactive

Posted: 9 years ago

#208

Nice update Sandhya...

When the story began I must admit I felt that Arti was being unfair to her other children, that somewhere she had lost the ability to be a mother to them. Somehow this one showed me her struggle to balance that out...I realized that she is tried in her way tp still be a good mother even though somewhere she carries the guilt of not being there for Anju.

Arnav what do I say...he had to grow up too soon.His commitment to his family and his understanding of all concerned aspires me to develop a heart/mind/soul with wisdom like that. At the same times his want of wanting to run away makes him human and appealing. One doesn't always have to be a super hero to save the world that matters to them.

Akash and Lavanya...this update just gave me peace. I like it when stories talk about people willing to go the extra mile for the ones they care about. As these stories inspire me to be a better person in real life. Clearly Lavanya is stretching her comfort zone and embracing uncertainity head on. Second Chances can make a breaking life...

About your question... I would say this story for me began with the first chapter. You are a wonderful writer, having read DND I know you will beautifully unravel each aspect so I read each chapter with interest. If you remember the scene in DND when the statue breaks it gave me a hint about who was the adopted child. I dont know how many people felt the same way as me but for me that one stood out..

Though must say with Shyams re-entry I felt now the story will gain momentum.

Edited by thechaigirl - 9 years ago

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bolt

@bolt

Dazzler

Posted: 9 years ago

#209

Originally posted by: AquaSandhya
I don't rattle that easy. I welcome critiquing because it helps me write better by incorporating multiple perspectives.
However, one thing I do not do is give explanations as to why my characters are behaving a certain way in a written note. You'll have to bear with me until I reveal my reasons for their behaviour.
I know it is the IF way (critiquing is mostly not welcomed) but you don't need need to worry about "adverse" reactions from me (As long as you don't bash me personally 😆).
P.S - word count mention is to assuage my guilt over late update since I have yet to put up the second half :)

🤗
Totally respect your take on critiquing and character explanations.
Behavior of characters in a story manifests as the story unfolds and the author should not have to offer separate explanation.
😆 No bashing from me ever, not my style.
Patiently waiting for part 2, whenever you post it.
Hugs galore!
Bess

Edited by bolt - 9 years ago

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Archna

@archnahardik123

Dazzler

Posted: 9 years ago

#210

Sorry sandhya I took so long to comment. These days are very very busy.

About update, I feel so sad for this family who is suffering from the day princess of this house is gone.

Aarti what can I say, for a mother it's very hard to let go of her children as long as she lives. She will keep on praying for anjali as long as she lives. And if anjali is some where alive maybe her prayers might be keeping her safe. Prayer of a mother held lots of power in it. But what Akash said is also true. In her misery she forget to give attention to other kids. And Akash need his mother lots of time. Of course Arnav was there but he needed his parents too. But I can't be angry on any of them but on bad time. Which is not ready to leave their house. Her husband is also it there with her to Help her in this time.

For me Akash is still like a little boy. Anjali was taken away from her parents and here his parents leave him. Maybe they were not there when he needed them. After them he was not lucky in having right partner. Payal make bigger hole in his heart. And there he try to forget every bad thing in his life through alcohol. But glad that he wants to change this habit and trying to move on.

Lavanya is sweet lady. She come at right time in akash's life. Any other girl might have run away from him but she did not that means she loves him with his drawbacks. When you love someone you stay with him other in bad times too.

Loved how you write this update. Marvellous.

About questions

1. For me story starts with prologue itself and it becomes more and more exciting with each chapters.

2. I never skim for a moment.

Edited by archnahardik123 - 9 years ago