~Arhi FF~#5~The Hands of Time ~ New Banner ~Sep 5 2020

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Srilatha

@Srilathalolla

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#191

Originally posted by: AquaSandhya

What can I about a writer's reader like you? Fortunate to have you with me on this ride :D

Shukriya Shukriya

Edited by Srilathalolla - 9 years ago

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jujubee

@jujubee

Explorer

Posted: 9 years ago

#192

My updated comment here Hope

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bolt

@bolt

Dazzler

Posted: 9 years ago

#193

Originally posted by: AquaSandhya

DAMN GIRL! You read everyone of those 4800 words..you are a far patient reader than I am...my eyes tend to glaze over one or two sentences at least. Kidding...😆 and thank you.

I am trying to figure out ways to improve my writing (so I can edit parts when I rewrite and stuff) and hence the questions :D

😆 😆
Felt your pride in your mention of 4800 words, so I made sure to not let you down.

On a serious note; readers opinions and reactions vary and I try to stick to major moments and the emotions tied to that and the rest I will leave to the author. What I might skim over may make sense to another and I recently discovered that even a mild critique or question could have a significant adverse affect when you least expect it (another story). We have just met, and to be honest I really enjoy how you tell your story and as time passes I might be brave enough to rattle you. 🤗

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AquaSandhya

@AquaSandhya

Sparkler

+ 8

Posted: 9 years ago

#194

Originally posted by: jujubee
Another festering wound erupts... Akash's vicious venting, an outpouring of 10 years worth of suppressed feelings of abandonment, of survivor's guilt spews forth as a vitriolic diatribe. Yes, Aarti needed to hear the bitter truth that she emotionally sidelined both her young sons in her single-minded quest to find her missing daughter Anjali, but Akash's tirade was both disrespectful and wrong.
Aarti like any other loving mother is clinging to hope, praying that her lost child is alive and well. Akash's callous outburst unleashes the protective motherly instinct in Aarti earning him a resounding slap. She is completely mortified by her uncharacteristic reaction, she is not a violent person, never raised a hand on her children and now this... What a mess !!
Arnav like always is caught in the crossfire... I admire him for his patience and especially for his perseverance and resolve to turn this dysfunctional family around. It will be an uphill task, but I have faith in his unflinching determination and tenacity.
Akash is suffering from withdrawal symptoms... Alcoholism is a disease and like any disease needs proper and timely treatment. He needs to enter rehab NOW if he wants to win this battle and have a chance at a happy, love filled future. He is extremely fortunate to have a loving, levelheaded and supportive girlfriend Lavanya. I am hopeful that with her love and encouragement and the unwavering support of his brother Arnav he will stay with the program and beat this addiction.
Sandhya, I love how you have sprinkled the narrative with striking, colorful images of a warm and inviting home in the Nilgiri's... Floors covered with ethnic cotton rugs, wooden couches strewn with varicolored bright cushions, kitchen shelves lined with mouthwatering pickle jars, corridors adorned with lush greenery and above all the fragrant aroma of freshly brewed filter coffee !! This is what I love about your stories, a gripping account peppered with vivid, vibrant visuals.
Now to answer your questions... The story begins for me with the first word of the chapter and has been the same for all the preceding chapters. I never skim, in fact I go back to re-read to savor and enjoy !!

I think you are someone who aces in her literature course, such beautiful words (I don't think I'm wrong). You analyze the situations and setting like a pro. And you are too kind.

But I wouldn't mind hearing if the characterization falters somewhere or if the imagery is overdone or something else doesn't work. I know literary essays don't do them...but book critiques do :D

Glad to know you go back and reread. One doesn't unless there is something that interests you and that is a plus one for me :)

I'll be asking more questions over the next few chapters :)

Edited by AquaSandhya - 9 years ago

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AquaSandhya

@AquaSandhya

Sparkler

+ 8

Posted: 9 years ago

#195

Originally posted by: bolt

😆 😆
Felt your pride in your mention of 4800 words, so I made sure to not let you down.

On a serious note; readers opinions and reactions vary and I try to stick to major moments and the emotions tied to that and the rest I will leave to the author. What I might skim over may make sense to another and I recently discovered that even a mild critique or question could have a significant adverse affect when you least expect it (another story). We have just met, and to be honest I really enjoy how you tell your story and as time passes I might be brave enough to rattle you. 🤗

I don't rattle that easy. I welcome critiquing because it helps me write better by incorporating multiple perspectives.

However, one thing I do not do is give explanations as to why my characters are behaving a certain way in a written note. You'll have to bear with me until I reveal my reasons for their behaviour.

I know it is the IF way (critiquing is mostly not welcomed) but you don't need need to worry about "adverse" reactions from me (As long as you don't bash me personally 😆).

P.S - word count mention is to assuage my guilt over late update since I have yet to put up the second half :)

Edited by AquaSandhya - 9 years ago

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canapoem

@canapoem

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 9 years ago

#196

Unres on page 21

https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/132627971

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jujubee

@jujubee

Explorer

Posted: 9 years ago

#197

Originally posted by: AquaSandhya

I think you are someone who aces in her literature course, such beautiful words (I don't think I'm wrong). You analyze the situations and setting like a pro. And you are too kind.

But I wouldn't mind hearing if the characterization falters somewhere or if the imagery is overdone or something else doesn't work. I know literary essays don't do them...but book critiques do :D

Glad to know you go back and reread. One doesn't unless there is something that interests you and that is a plus one for me :)

I'll be asking more questions over the next few chapters :)

Thank you for your generous and kind words. ❤️🤗

I love stories rich in visuals and have strong characters... both of which are a hallmark of your works. ❤️

Edited by jujubee - 9 years ago

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AquaSandhya

@AquaSandhya

Sparkler

+ 8

Posted: 9 years ago

#198

Originally posted by: canapoem
Sandhya, sorry I am late again. Next time, pukka promise, I will try to be in time.

Coming to update, I loved it.

How well you have described Akash's condition in this update.

I have heard too that letting go of addictions are tough. Though I have never seen it first hand, but today after reading the update, I got a better understanding of how tough it is for an addict to kick the habit.

It is not just a state of mind, but how the body craves for the substance makes the person so weak and vulnerable. No wonder many go back to being addicts again and again. It takes so much will power to beat the urge to indulge in the substance abuse again.

And how much irritability becomes their companion was also sad to read. I also understood how much the support of family and loved ones are required at that time.

Arnav was indeed the good brother. He knew Akash's temptations, he understood why he was irritated, yet he dealt with him calmly.

I felt sad that Aarti did not understand how agitated Akash was, but I do not blame Aarti.
Just like all the fingers in our hands are not alike, similarly all are not equipped to be sensitive enough to understand other people's vulnerabilities.

And over that she herself was in a bad state of mind with Anjali's birthday approaching.

Anyway glad that Akash did not drink to forget his pain especially after the unpleasant episode.

And my respect and admiration towards Lavanya increased many folds today.

It would have been so easy for her to ask Akash to leave. Why should she enter into a relationship with him, after knowing his entire past and his addiction?

But kudos to her strong character and resolution to fight the challenges thrown at her instead of running away from it. She is just the person Akash needs in his life.
Someone to silently support him when needed and yet push him when required.

I just hope that Akash stays true to his commitment regarding his addiction and seeking help, and fighting back at the adversities along with her.

This update also further made me realise how much Anjali's disappearance has made this family so dysfunctional.

Aarti just got lost in her own miseries and did not even see how her other kids are suffering.

Arnav tried to maintain sanity not just in the family but within himself too. But how much can a person do alone.

Akash just got lost, totally lost. He tried to look for love everywhere and failed in that too.

And the senior Raizada just ran away from everything thinking a solution would come up on its own.

Feel so bad for everyone in this family.

And now add Khushi into this situation who herself is suffering from guilt in last two decades.

What would heal all these people?

PS: I loved the pictures of the pickle jars. I remember my grandmother used to make pickles in such jars. Brought back some fond memories.

I found the story interesting from the prologue. But never thought that it would be such a thrilling ride until Shyam made his entry.

And I definitely do not skim through the updates. I actually read it atleast twice to grasp what is happening or what you are trying to tell completely.

Time heals many wounds...not miraculously but through change in situations, circumstances and people. That is why this is "Hands of Time" 😃

Wah! You are the second person who has taken Shyam's name and change in pace. I'm happy :)

Pics courtesy Kerrie brought back many memories of my grandmother too...she is too old to sweat it out over pickle making now and we don't eat as much pickles at home anymore. Thank you!

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AquaSandhya

@AquaSandhya

Sparkler

+ 8

Posted: 9 years ago

#199

Originally posted by: Polkadots78
Sandhya,
Regarding your 2 questions:

For me, the definite starting point of the story was when Arnav met Khushi on the mountain trail and she realized who he was.

I don't think I skimmed through any part of the story or may be just a tiny little bit of Madhu Bua, though I do love her character and personality.😳

Awww...thanks for letting me in on Madhu and skimming :D I think I need to rework the first 3 chapters :D