Arnav-Khushi: Perfectly Imperfect - Last Part [12/04] Note-Page 50 :D - Page 15

Part 15

If Khushi was forced at gunpoint to pick out just one quality of hers that she was most proud of, her USP as it was, she would probably say that it was her self-confidence.

No matter how hard people tried to crush her spirit, attempting to convince her that it was unrealistic to pursue her dreams in the way that she did, she strived on. She had long since decided that she would either make it, or die trying, but she would never give up. She did not care that she was just one amongst hundreds of thousands of other strugglers trying to find a foothold in the film industry. She did not care that her portfolio pictures were often casually thrown in the bin without so much as a second glance, or that people sniggered during her auditions because they had already chosen beforehand who would get the part... There were some moments of uncertainty and awkwardness, sure, but in general, her faith in herself had always been unshakable.

But for the first time in her life, she was finding herself riddled with self-doubts, with the overwhelming feeling that she was just not good enough. For if she had been good enough, then she would not have been on the wrong side of an unrequited love story.

She understood that Arnav had something of a commitment phobia, that he valued his freedom too much to put it at stake and trap himself in a relationship. But she also knew that he was at heart a sensitive and caring person, and that his dispassionate and aloof businessman image was just an image after all. Something told her that he just needed to find that very special someone, who would understand who he was, and his need for space and independence, and at that time, despite his best efforts, he would fall irrevocably in love with her.

And it broke Khushi's heart when she realised that, as much as she understood Arnav and as close as they had grown as friends, she just was not that special person. She could sense that there was a wall between them, and she doubted that she was good enough for him to want to break down the wall, to go that extra mile.

The engagement ring that he had placed around her finger would always just be a part of their charade. A lie.

She stifled a small sob in her throat and averted her eyes away from his, as she made him wear his ring. For her, it would be a promise. A promise that she would stand by him always, even if she would always be relegated to the role of a friend, just a friend. Not the main lead, just a side role.

She directed her gaze back at Arnav to find that he was looking at her very intently. There was a strange expression clouding his face, a questioning look, or was it hurt? Something was amiss.

But of course there was no time to probe further into this, seeing as they were surrounded by the amalgamation of the Raizadas and the Guptas, all of whom had gelled perfectly thanks to their aptitude for filmi melodrama, and all of whom seemed to be observing Arnav and Khushi with dangerous keenness.

It seemed that the two were not considered very trustworthy by their families after all. Even though everyone had happily bought the story that the two were in love, given that both Arnav and Khushi had fended off the marriage issue for so long, it seemed that some skepticism did remain. Besides, the family members on both sides had been briefed to curb their insatiable thirst for gossip and to not mention any details of Arnav and Khushi's relationship to each other, and the inability to cross-check their versions with one another must have come across as ever so slightly suspicious.

Khushi moulded her face into a loving smile for their benefit, but resolved to talk to Arnav at the earliest opportunity.

The said opportunity manifested itself during Manorama Mami and Madhumati Bua's singing face-off. The two families had been playing a harmless game of antakshri but the inexplicably ruthless competitive spirit of the two ladies had soon caused the game to escalate into a tournament of epic proportions. The other family members had now stepped back and were now watching the fierce to-and-fro of rebuttals, as the two formidable aunts tried to one-up each other with their encyclopedic knowledge of Hindi film songs.

Grateful for the distraction, Khushi reached for Arnav's arm and mouthed, "We need to talk."

He nodded and muttered "Poolside" almost inaudibly so that nobody else would hear. She nodded back and discretely made her way to the swimming pool to wait for him.

When she reached there, however, after having gotten lost twice on the way (because that's just how big that lucky Raizada's mansion was), it was only to find that the poolside was already occupied. Khushi felt herself go bright crimson as she came across Lavanya and Akash who were kissing each other furiously as though their lives depended on it.

She cleared her throat awkwardly, and they broke apart. Khushi fought a strong urge to burst out laughing at how mortified they were looking at being caught.

"It's okay, Akash," Lavanya said, "She knows already. She saw us at the Taj the other day... um, kind of."

"And Arnav bhai?" Akash asked Khushi, "Does he know too?"

"No, but why are you so scared of him?" Khushi replied, "I'm sure he won't tell the other family members even if he knew."

"He might try to dissuade me though," Akash said, looking extremely nervous, "I mean, not - not because of Lavanya... but because he thinks love is nothing but a waste of time. And I can't risk any of the family members knowing. They'll get way too interfering. And we're just getting to know each other at the moment and want to be left to ourselves."

"Hm, well, anyway, you guys had better leave then. He's on his way here."

"What?" the two love-birds said in perfect unison.

"There he is!" Lavanya said, her eyes widening in panic, as she saw Arnav through one of the French windows walking in the corridor leading to his room. Within the span of just a few seconds, she had disappeared into the garden, leaving Akash standing there, looking completely befuddled.

Arnav was deep in thought as he walked towards the poolside, wondering what it was that Khushi wanted to talk to him about. He had been trying to avoid her, only because whenever he even thought about her, the next thought that occurred to him was of her being besotted with Akash - a thought that made him want to break things around him, most notably Akash's stupid head. It also made him wish that there was a way of keeping Khushi all to himself. He recognised that this strange possessiveness was one of the symptoms that were commonly associated with romantic love, and realised that it was time that he resign himself to the fact that that probably was it. He was falling for Khushi in the most cliched, soppy way possible.

Of course, having never bothered to give much consideration to this whole love business, he had absolutely no idea what to do. Given that Akash had a girlfriend anyway, should he tell Khushi how he felt? Should he do some of those things that those idiots did in romantic movies? It was all so unlike him though. He hated the very idea of changing himself and doing things just because they were the conventional things to do.

A sudden fear gripped him. As awesome as Khushi was as a friend, if they did miraculously end up in a long-term romantic relationship, who was to say that she would not be just the same as the other archetypal girlfriends and wives, nagging him all the time and invading his space and freedom? A part of him wanted to believe that she would not change or want him to change, that she would continue to be his buddy, his partner in crime and otherwise. But what if all romantic relationships were the same? What if Khushi and him were not the exception? He would lose out on an amazing friendship. Was it worth it?

He wished there was someone he could talk to about this. But the person who could have advised him, who understood him best, happened to be Khushi herself.

He sighed as he pushed open the sliding door, only to find that Akash was there with Khushi by the poolside. Once again, jealousy coursed through his veins and he felt a strong urge to push Akash into the pool. Yes, love was decidedly the stupidest, most irrational thing out there.

"What are you doing here?" Arnav asked Akash, perhaps a little more brusquely than he had intended. The sight of the two together was definitely irritating though. Why couldn't Akash hang out with his own girlfriend?

Akash, meanwhile, looked scared out of his wits. "I... uh... I was... Khushi and I were..." he stammered.

"We were talking," Khushi said quickly. Arnav knew her well enough to understand that she was hiding something. Her eyes had a tendency to grow wide when she did.

"I'm sorry to have interrupted you then," Arnav said coolly, trying to appear as though he couldn't care less about what Khushi did.

"No, Bhai, I was just leavi-"

"Your buttons are undone," Arnav commented, and for some reason, Akash looked extraordinarily flustered as he hastily fastened the buttons of his kurta.

Khushi, on the other hand, seemed to be trying very hard to hold back a smile.

Arnav felt his eyes burn and prickle slightly as he realised what Khushi and Akash had probably been doing, and he turned around and began to walk away so that his eyes or voice would not inadvertently betray the emotions that he felt.

But before he could leave, Khushi had held his hand to stop him.

"Akash, can you please leave?" she said quietly but firmly, "Arnav and I need to talk."

Originally posted by: penrith

akash is so silly

Originally posted by: Arshi67

I'm happy Khushi rediscovered her self confidence at the end! Or at least, I hope she has. Those tears welling up in his eyes was just :( even though Arnav was trying to be all clinical about this love business.