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This one was requested by Ankita ❤️ We all remember Jeevika's Karwa Chauth, when Viren was away for work? Well, this os has a different ending...
"Enough for me to feel as though you were with me."
Chand chupa badal mein sharmake meri jana
Seene se lag jaa tu balkhake meri jana
Gumsum sa hai gupchup sa hai madhosh hai khamosh hai
Ye samaa haan ye sama kuch aur hai
Seene se lag jaa tu balkhake meri jana
Gumsum sa hai gupchup sa hai madhosh hai khamosh hai
Ye samaa haan ye sama kuch aur hai
~ Chand Chupa Badal Mein, Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam
The moon had risen, clear and luminescent in the dark clouds of the night and Jeevika had touched her lips to the little tumbler of water, without drinking anything. Something in her did not want to break her fast.
While Manvi headed straight to eat afterwards, Jeevika did not feel quite so hungry. It wasn't the same after all, with no Viren to break fast with her. She escaped upstairs after half an hour, citing tiredness. No one suspected she hadn't eaten as she had been busy going around, serving the food. But, she knew if Viren had been there, he would have noticed. He would have stopped her and demanded she eat, if not by her hands then by his. But, Viren wasn't here. And it was making her heart ache a little to see Virat and Manvi feeding each other so sweetly when she was alone.
She stood in the balcony extending from their bedroom, closing her eyes to the cool breeze teasing her hair. If she closed her eyes, she could pretend he was with her; a warm, comforting presence to her back. He'd usually wrap his arms around her, press his cheek to hers while they spoke. And he would sometimes smile into her neck when he was feeling mischievous and spin her about in his arms so she was facing him. He liked it when their eyes met for that single, sparking moment before she blushed and looked down. And that was taken as an acquiescence from her to him.
She remembered their first Karwa Chauth during their engagement. When they'd fasted together because as he told her so openly, "If women can fast for their husbands' long lives, then can't men do the same for their wives?"
And then afterwards, when she had been so concerned over her younger sister and had forgotten to eat herself, he had noticed when no one else had. He'd fed her after asking her permission, so carefully, as though she might bolt at further contact. And then with a surge of boldness she hadn't thought was possible in her before, she'd asked, "May I?" The surprised smile that had risen to his face had made her so happy and she repeated his movements, his eyes never leaving hers all the time, not even when her fingers had lightly brushed against his lips.
Her fingers were at her own lips now, remembering him. She let them fall with a sigh and wrapped her arms about herself. It wasn't so bad, she told herself. He would be home soon in a matter of days, it wasn't as though he'd been gone for so long. But it had been too long for her.
She tried imagining him behind her again and for some reason, it did feel as though he was there...that warm, comforting presence...breaths caressing along her neck...
"I missed you."
That low, masculine voice was certainly no figment of her imagination.
She jumped slightly, but once her mind processed that it was Viren, actually behind her, she spun around to give him a hug. He let out a breath of surprise at the sudden movement, but hugged her back tightly, lifting her off of her feet and burying his face in her hair, "I missed you so much."
When she finally loosened her hold on his shirt and pulled back slightly, "Virenji, you never told me you were coming home tonight." She tried to sound reproachful, but there was no disguising the pure joy in her voice.
"As it turns out, I can abstain from food, but not from you," he grinned teasingly.
She folded her arms across her chest, waiting for a proper explanation.
"I just wanted to surprise you," he shrugged, "I was able to convince the others that they could handle the rest and I returned a couple days early. Or nights early, should I say."
She smiled up at him, "I missed you too."
"Is that why you weren't downstairs with the others?" he frowned, "They said you were feeling tired and left."
"Yes..." she looked down, "I didn't break my fast but they don't know that..."
"Jeevika!" he looked at her in exasperation, "You haven't eaten the whole day and you thought you'd just skip eating now when you can?"
"I wasn't hungry-" she protested, but he cut her off.
"I know you very well. See? I brought you a plate of food." He turned to retrieve a plate that he'd left on the table.
She watched him, with a growing smile on her face, as he brought it towards her. She sat on the floor and he did the same across from her. But, before he could hold the glass of water to her lips, she exclaimed, "Wait! The moon is still out." She didn't have the sieve with her, but she held up her transparent pale-pink dupatta, glancing at the moon's reflection and then at Viren, through the veil.
When her eyes met his, her breath caught. There was such intensity in them, they searched and found. His hand rose up to pull the dupatta, but rather than moving it downwards, he tugged it forward, so she was closer to him. "You look so beautiful."
She closed her eyes and he kissed her forehead tenderly before giving the glass to her to drink from. This time, she drank, happy that she hadn't broken fast without him. And when he fed her, she found that she was indeed hungry after all. But, something from his previous words echoed in her mind...I can abstain from food, but not from you.
"Virenji...you haven't eaten at all today either, have you?" she stopped the fingers that were about to give her a second morsel.
He didn't say anything, but waited. She shyly brought her fingers to his lips and just like their first Karwa Chauth, his eyes never left hers for a second, nor had their intensity diminished.
"Virenji?"
"Hmm?"
"You know when it was time for us to break fast, I tried thinking of you. I remembered our first Karwa Chauth. I thought it would be enough."
"Enough?"
"Enough for me to feel as though you were with me."
"Well, I'm certainly with you now," he declared, resuming feeding her.
She did the same, knowing only too well that he would forget about himself. "That's why I couldn't bring myself to eat or drink before."
"And what if I hadn't come?" he asked sternly.
"I would have called you. And then at least I would have been able to hear your voice and we could eat together," she replied sincerely.
He smiled at her, his worry fading, "Or I would have called you. I couldn't spend another moment without you, so I came as soon as possible. I needed to see my moon to break my fast."
She blushed, looking away, "And if your moon decided to hide in the clouds?"
"I'd find her," he said confidently, "I'd bring her out of her shyness. She can't hide from me."
Their intricate little word game was bringing flares of heat to her cheeks and her heart. She was warmed all over. "You didn't have to look for her today...because she wasn't hiding. She was looking for you too."
She absently fed him another morsel, then was startled at the mischievous graze of his teeth on her fingertips, eyes widening, "Virenji!" He caught her hand, kissing each fingertip, "I really, really missed you. Seriously. I'd be at some meeting and I'd lose focus because something you said would come to mind. Or I'd be eating my bought dinner and imagining you making it instead."
"And was it enough?" she asked. He knew what she was referring to.
"Never. Because nothing can replace the feel of you in my arms, right here, right now," he wrapped his arms around her and sighed contentedly. She agreed. Nothing could replace him either.
Twisting in his arms slightly, she turned to face him, "Virenji?"
"Jeevikaji?" he grinned, waiting for her to continue.
"You kept fast for me...even though you weren't here?"
"No matter where I am, I'm thinking of you," he told her, "Besides, if you were to fast for my long life and I didn't for yours, just think, what in the world would I do without you? So, you see, it's for my own selfish gain."
She laughed, "Selfish? You're many things, but never that."
"Many things? Like what, Mrs. Vadhera?" he tucked a stray strand of hair behind ear.
"A complete shaitaan...sometimes I think you love teasing me too much!"
"I do, I really do," he agreed, leaning down.
"And you leave me to go on business trips," she pouted.
"But I always come back," he murmured.
"And you always look for my happiness before your own," her breaths came faster as he inched nearer.
"You are my happiness," he told her lips, stopping all further words from her.
She yielded, pressing closer to him, while he undid the clasp that held her hair back.
Kisses were such delicate, lovely things. Like secrets. Only between him and her.
And she felt dazed, entranced after each one of them. Lost in an intoxicated haze.
She let him know how much she missed him in every sweet little kiss. And he responded in a tender line down her neck, removing her heavy necklace. She felt a weight being removed; from her skin, from her heart.
She truly was his moon, he thought. She was incandescent with happiness, with love.
"It was definitely never enough," he whispered into her skin. So, so softly. Like another secret.
He touched a finger to her kiss-swollen lips, "But, I found my moon again today."
Aaya re aaya chanda ab har khwayish puri hogi
Chandani raat mein har sajani apne sajana ko dekhe ki
Chandani raat mein har sajani apne sajana ko dekhe ki
~ Chand Chupa Badal Mein, Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam
Yes, I was feeling nostalgic for that scene where Viren tells Jeevika "Mera chand bahut khoobsurat hai."
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