ArHi SS: Inertia [Completed] - Page 10

05. Summer heat

She woke up at four AM even though it was an off day. Garima mentioned to maintain a proper sleep cycle so that she wouldn't feel too tired or sleepy while driving. Khushi had taken her worried mother's words seriously and decided to stick to the work day schedule. However, fifteen minutes after walking up - she was bored. She could, of course, read but she had rest of the day for that. The morning was cool and she didn't feel like tainting it by noises caused by various media. There was something unsettled in her bones and an itching need to move her limbs. She decided to clean the mess in her room to give her hands something to do.

She gave her room an appreciative glance two hours later. Her bookshelf wasn't organized and nor were all the DVDs. But for once they weren't piled together or made a new home under her bed. She had made a massive pile of old clothes in wanting to give them away for an orphanage. A shiver of satisfaction ran through her spine when she saw clean room, neatly made bed and organized desk. The sweat she had worked up during cleaning session didn't bother her as they did before.

"Morning Ma." She said softly, just a feet away from Garima who was yawning and standing in front of stove. Garima let out a strangled yell and poked Khushi for startling her.

"I thought only lunatics, institutionalized people and sociopaths woke up this early in the morning?" Garima grinned as she watched bubbling milk on stove.

"I have grown a lot since we last had that conversation." Khushi replied sagely.

"It was day before yesterday. Literally less than forty eight hours." Garima deadpanned.

"What can I say?" Khushi said loftily. "I am a superior human being who can adapt or change spectacularly for the greater good."

Garima rolled her eyes at that. "What are your plans for the day?" She asked.

Khushi shrugged. "Hanging out with Payal if she isn't too busy." Khushi maintained an ease in tone and didn't let bitterness show. It was her mother after all.

Garima studied her daughter for a full minute. She had observed the growing circle of friends around Payal while Khushi was pretty much the same. As a mother she had encouraged both her daughters to look for friends outside themselves so as to reduce the growing codependency they had going on. For one, it wasn't healthy. Secondly they needed to expand their perspectives to different things in this world and making new friends was one of the easiest way to do so. Though Khushi was the outspoken of the two, she wasn't a person who easily trusted others or made friends easily.

"If you ask her I am sure she will be happy to spend time with you." Garima said gently.

Khushi didn't look up when she said, "Yeah. Maybe." Before Garima could jump in and take away her distress, Khushi interjected. "How about I make your breakfast today? You can get an extra hour of sleep?" She asked pleasantly. Her smile was cheerful but Garima knew her daughter was begging to let the previous conversation go. Garima forced a smile and nodded.

"Don't burn down the house." Garima warned and left Khushi alone to her thoughts. Garima had an inkling what was going on between her daughters. She didn't want to intervene at this stage yet as both her daughters had to figure it out on their own. It was part of growing up and her babies were on the threshold of adulthood. This tension between her daughters unsettled her and made her stomach queasy.

Payal walked down to dining room to find her family finishing up breakfast.

"Thanks for making breakfast Khushi." Garima said happily, accepting lunch box from her daughter. She bit her lip to stop her smile that was practically splitting her face. Garima preferred homemade food but busy mornings didn't give her ample amount of time to pack something for lunch. She ended up eating food from cafeteria which didn't agree with her stomach all the time. "I feel like going to school and taking lunchbox from amma." She grinned at Shashi.

Khushi shooed her parents away with a put upon sigh.

"You are up early," Payal said and let out a huge yawn. Khushi placed a cup of tea in front of her sister. Payal let out a grateful moan and took a long sip.

"I am keeping my new sleep schedule so that I can get habituated to it." Khushi replied.

"Because of your job?" Payal asked, fully awake now. Khushi nodded. "Why did you take up a job that requires you out of the house all day for 3-4 times a week?"

Khushi blinked. "It was a nice offer and I have nothing much to do so I took it. It pays well and I get to drive a lot." She managed a weak smile by the end. And I don't feel so lonely anymore. She didn't add.

"We haven't done anything till now this summer." Payal frowned at her own words.

"It's okay." Khushi said, patting Payal's arm. "You have been busy." She said what she told her mother in the morning.

Payal's face fell at that. "I...It's just that..."

"I understand." Khushi stopped Payal before Payal could follow that thought.

"No, you don't." Payal said tightly. "You haven't had friends who are around you, in touch with you via calls or emails or text, want to do things with you on a daily basis, take you out, do new things, watch movies and hang out for most part of the day. So no, Khushi. You don't understand."

"Okay." Khushi said, defeated.

Payal took Khushi's hands in hers and looked her in the eye. "You are my sister. You don't get to ask me if we can go out. You tell me that we are going out. You throw a dress in my face, ask me to get dressed and move my ass. You tell me to cancel my plans and I will. Without question. Do you know why?" Khushi shook her head. "Because you wouldn't have asked me if it wasn't important otherwise. I trust your decision. I trust your judgment. I trust your input. I trust your actions are in best interest for both of us. You won't purposefully ever hurt me. I know that. I believe that. Nothing and no one can change that. Do you understand?"

Khushi nodded.

"So what do you want to do today?" Payal asked.

Khushi smiled softly and shrugged. "I am in your hands today." She said simply.

Payal looked surprised at that. Generally it was Khushi who had always planned their day, steered conversations and took Payal out. In that moment Khushi realized how much she had been ignoring Payal when they were hanging out all the time. When Payal had said "Hey, how about taking a walk around that new park opened last week?" Khushi's reply had been, "Awww, let's order super cheesy pizzas and marathon Game of thrones?" Payal had smiled and accepted her plan instead. Maybe it wasn't that Payal hadn't been talking. It was just that Khushi had failed to listen what Payal had wanted.

"We can do whatever you want. You plan and I will follow you like a toddler." Khushi said when Payal didn't recover from the surprise she felt.

Payal's eyes narrowed. "Like a toddler that throws tantrum every five minutes?"

Khushi let out a bubble of laughter effectively dispersing cloud of despair around them. "Like best behaved toddler ever. Even better than how you were as a five your old. And that's saying something."

Payal waved her hand. "Oh please. I am f**king Captain America of toddlers."

They both burst into laughter.

Khushi maintained her laughter and avoided analyzing Payal's words from earlier.

Payal had said Khushi was her sister. Not best friend. But sister. Just sister.

She wondered when did the pedestal beneath her feat was removed and was given to someone else.

So - Khushi can demand Payal's attention because she is rational and has good judgement. Not because she felt like it, not because they are close enough to demand an evening together, not because they are family or friends. Thats the most pathetic reason one would want from a family member, and that too one so close.

The friend bit - yes this is a part of growing up. No matter how painful, Khushi will have to come to terms with it. In fact, if she can somehow push herself to form a social circle of her own, it will do her a lot of good.

Khushi's understanding of the world around her needs to evolve. And Payal needs a little more sensitivity - this way she won't even have her friends for very long. There will come a time when her circle will expand, and if she treats these people the way she is treating Khushi now, she had it.