Posted:
A note to all who feel Arnav's decision of not having a second child is wrong:
In this update you'll be reading what Arnav went through with Swathi, but do some of you still think that Arnav's decision on not having a baby is wrong? It isn't wrong, in my point of view. Why? Because Khushi hasn't told him yet, that she loves him. He beleieves she still isn't over Rishi. Also, Arnav has been burnt once by Swathi, and dropping hints clearly don't work for him. The woman whom he loved for the first time, left him alone with a child. His worry is, If Swathi- the woman whom he knew for a few years before getting married, could change overnight, why couldn't Khushi? What if Khushi, after having a child, walked away? Or even worse, what if she would love Samrat less, once she has a baby? Some of you who are already Moms will know what I mean. It is quite natural for a woman to love teh baby she bore, more than the ones she is merely looking aftre, no matter how much she loves them . A slight preference will always be there- It is human behaviour.
One more request, When you think of this story and its tracks, I wish you don't think of it in a "fairy-tale" manner. You'll understand various points of view when you think it rationally and as realistically as possible. The story and its characters will contain flaws, because this story is all about human emotions, and human aren't flawless...
On that note, I will now stop rambling and let you read the update... Do leave your comments as it helps me write better... Thanks a bunch, guys... XOXO
The minute Arnav's mind registered what Sharona had actually written to him, he clenched his fists in rage. His eyes turned red and his breathing turned rapid in anger. For a minute, Khushi was scared to even touch him because he looked like he was in a fit to kill. "Swathi! That bloody bitch!" he cursed while gritting his teeth, least bothered about swearing in the presence of his family, and walked in long strides to his room. "Arnav..." Khushi called out and followed him, only to be stopped by Ratna. "Let him be alone for some time, Khushi. He's too angry right now. He's not in his senses. Let him calm down first. Then talk to him." Khushi nodded as she saw her husband march into the bedroom and then bang the door shut, causing everyone at the dining table to shudder.
"What happened Mommy? Why is Daddy so mad?" Samrat asked innocently. Khushi's heaved a sigh and her eyes welled up as she looked at the boy. What could she tell him? That his mother, who was never a mother to him, has demanded his custody? That she was planning to take him away from the entire family he grew up with? That she was ready to fight to claim her rights on him and take him away from his Daddy? Khushi smiled and took a deep breath before walking to him. "Sweetheart, it's nothing you must worry about." She ran her hand over his hair, "Daddy just received some bad news from his friend saying that someone is trying to take away something from Daddy which he considers to be very precious to him." Samrat pouted, "But if that thing really is precious to Daddy, then why is that someone trying to take it away from him? Won't it make Daddy sad?" Ratna's heart contracted with emotional pain as she saw Khushi trying to convince Samrat in his own child-like way. "We don't know why, Samrat. Daddy's really angry because he doesn't want to part from his precious thing. He is scared to lose." Samrat smiled, "I know how angry Daddy gets when someone touches anything that belongs to him. He gets so mad when I jump on his bed." Samrat giggled causing everyone to smile at him, "But I know that Daddy will not let someone take away his precious thing. My Daddy is the strongest Daddy in the world; even stronger than Superman. He just doesn't fly around" Khushi chuckled at the imagery of Arnav flying around, "Of course Samrat, Daddy will never let anyone take away anything that is his. And Mommy too will fight for it." Samrat squealed in happiness, "Just like wonder woman with superman!!" Everyone smiled at the little boy's imagination. Khushi nodded her head, "Yes, just like that. No one will let Daddy lose. We will all see that he wins." Emotions overpowered Khushi and she simply pulled the little boy into a tight hug and kissed the top of his head after sniffing his soft hair. Everyone had a melancholic yet delightful feeling looking at the two of them.
Arnav stood near the window of his room and looked out to the garden lawns where the sprinklers were left on. Bruno was running after the water and Hari Prakash was trying hard to get him on a leash. However, Arnav's mind wandered to the letter he received a few minutes back. Swathi had filed for Sam's custody. How the hell did she have the guts for it? Did the woman have no shame? He wondered how he could stay in love with that woman for such a long time! After marrying him, she had changed into a completely different person. He hardly recognised her. Presently, he knew it had something to do with refusing a share of the ancestral property; he did not realise it back then, when he was blindly in love (or at least what he believed to be love) with her. Arnav always wanted to become something on his own, and had refused the share. Unknown to anyone else, Arvind had divided the property into three equal shares, which was to be granted to his three children after his death. However, none of them knew about it. Swathi began to nag and irritate him almost all the while. He recalled the time she used to complain about being pregnant with Samrat.
"I am so sick of being pregnant," Swathi whined. "I don't understand how people have more than one child. I feel like crap and even look like crap, too." Once again, Arnav found himself wondering if Swathi wanted a response from him. After four months of her pregnancy and less than a year of being married to her, he knew the correct times to give his opinion and the correct times to disappear from the room. He wondered if she was the same woman whom he fell in love with. He dismissed his thoughts, assuming that she was just going through mood swings, every single day since she discovered she was pregnant. He had to often remind himself that he loved her. It was easy to forget when she kept nagging him all the while. "God! When is your baby going to come out?" Swathi asked with an angry sigh. "My feet hurt and my back hurts and everything single part of my body hurts!" "Shut up, Swathi. Seriously. Just shut up. My head hurts from your whining, damn it" Arnav finally said. "Of course, your head hurts. But what about me? My whole body hurts. I wonder why I had to get pregnant so soon! Of course! Just because you wanted a child! I wish you men could get pregnant. Then you'd know how shitty it felt to carry so much of unwanted weight on you, every second of the day. Bloody hell!" And with a slap to his arm and a string of curses, Swathi left the room and locked herself in their bedroom.
Arnav found himself recalling those hurtful memories, all over again. Initially, he had ignored her tantrums, thinking it was one of her mood swings that usually happened during pregnancy. It was only after Akaash had told him that she had almost opted for an abortion, did he realise that Swathi never really wanted the child and considered it to be a mistake. She married Arnav for his money and to keep herself sexually satisfied, but much to her disappointment, she ended up pregnant. All of her irritation, nagging and her complaining made sense to him now and he regretted not listening to his Dad's advice of not marrying her. He sighed and looked at the lawns, with several thoughts in his head.
Khushi pulled away and carried Samrat in her arms, "Okay, now time to get ready for school!" Ratna too suggested that he'd better hurry or else he was going to be late for school. Samrat whined once he reached the bathroom for his bath time, "I won't go to school today, Mommy. My stomach hurts" Khushi narrowed her eyes and noticed that he had a small smile on his lips. "Really, Samrat? Where does it hurt? Here?" She said with a mischievous smile and tickled his tummy. Samrat wriggled as he laughed, "Okay sorry... sorry... time-please... stop... I was fooling. I'll go to school. Don't tickle me, Mommy... Stop..." She stopped tickling him and kissed his cheeks. "Okay, bath time. Get into the tub... And no splashing!" She said sternly with a glare. "Okay..." he said softly with a naughty grin. Apparently, Samrat's definition of no-splashing' was splash-as-much-as-you-can', causing Khushi to be completely drenched from head to toe. She had learnt a valuable lesson though which Arnav taught her. Always keep a set of spare clothes to change into, after bathing Samrat. Of course, it was a different thing that she could never be mad at Samrat, especially when he grinned sheepishly; which reminded her of Arnav's goofy smile. As Sam continued saying something about Abhi and school and Miss Gauri, Khushi studied his features like she did most of the time. A soft patch of dark black locks adorned the top of his head, a few strands falling over his forehead. She had often heard an infinite number of people saying that Samrat was a spitting image of his father. Even Ratna insisted that Samrat was an exact copy of Arnav as a child, except for the darker shade of hair. Samrat had the innocent face of a cherub, expectant and trusting. He differed from his father in the fact that his facial features were softer and not yet carved into the rough planes and angles of adulthood that Arnav presently possessed. She smiled as she looked at his expressive eyes and those chubby cheeks. She could sit all day watching her little boy. She loved him too much. And there was no way on earth she would let anyone take Samrat away. It was then that she jolted out of her thoughts when he poked her arm with his finger. "Mommy, we'll get late for school. Hurry" he urged her, and she nodded as she wrapped a fluffy towel round him after which she took him to the kid's room to get ready.
Arnav leaned against the window pane and closed his eyes. How he managed to live with Swathi, only he knew. He had been foolish not to accept it that she had changed after marriage. For five long years he kept telling himself that things could have been better between them. If only he knew and accepted her true intentions much earlier, it wouldn't have caused him so much pain. The only good deed that Swathi did in her entire life was to bring Samrat into this world. The day that she gave birth to Samrat was still fresh in his mind. It felt like it was just yesterday.
"AAARRRHH!" Swathi's voice woke Arnav up in the middle of the night. "Son of a... OOWW!" Arnav sighed and got out of the couch, walking over to the bed. He had stopped sleeping next to her, ever since she began to complain almost every second that she was having a hard time because he knocked her up. She treated it like it was a mistake. Arnav had learned to maintain his silence by then, letting her talk anything that came to his mind, because she was the one carrying his baby and was probably going through a hard time with the baby kicking her furiously, every time she cursed. The thought amused him but he knew it was not the appropriate time to speak his mind. "What's wrong, Swathi?" Arnav asked sleepily, stumbling around, looking for the lamp. "What's wrong? I'll tell you what's f**king wrong; your child is ready to come out while I'm trying to get my damn beauty sleep. If I don't get the recommended eight and a half hours of sleep, I could develop wrinkles as early at the age of thirty! That's what's wrong!" Arnav sighed as he helped Swathi out of bed and drove straight to the City Hospital. By the time they arrived at the hospital, Arnav was physically and emotionally drained with all the yells and curses that Swathi was throwing at him. He had sat in the waiting room for five hours because Swathi refused to let him in the labour room. She barely wanted the gynaecologist and nurses in there; heaven forbid somebody see her sweaty form with messy hair, sans her make-up.
***
"Mr. Raizada? Would you like to see your newborn son?" the soft voice of the elderly nurse woke Arnav from his half-sleep state. He rubbed his eyes and stood up, walking towards her and the blue-blanketed bundle in her arms. If someone had told him earlier that he would instantly fall in love upon first sight with a child he had made with Swathi, he would have recommended an A' grade mental health institute for that person. But nothing could have readied him for the sudden gush of emotions when he gazed at his pouting, wiggling baby boy in his arms. His throat choked and words refused to escape his mouth as he gazed at the round face of the innocent infant. Dark chocolate-brown eyes refused to open behind dark eyelashes. Arnav knew from that moment as he had held his son for the first time, which nothing in the world would ever come between them. He would make it his first priority to make sure nothing ever harmed the child he had created. Arnav had never loved anything more.
***
"Would you like to hold your baby boy, Ma'am?" the nurse asked Swathi, who had seemed to have a perpetual scowl on her face. "He has caused me enough of pain for nine months and taken me to hell in the last few hours. I'm tired now, so just let me sleep," Swathi scowled. Arnav sat in the rocking chair near the window of Swathi's hospital room, holding his newborn son, Samrat Raizada. The nurse suppressed a shocked look and shared a glance with Arnav. He knew a pity-look when he saw one. He had already gone through the same feeling a few minutes back when he had asked Swathi the same question and she had replied with a string of curses which made a sailor blush. "Very well, Ma'am" The nurse said, "I'll wake you in an hour so you can feed him." Swathi huffed at that. "I already told him before," she said, pointing towards Arnav, and then looked at the nurse, "...and now I'm telling you too. I'm not letting my breasts look like deflated balloons just so the kid can have his tummy full. I've seen what breastfeeding does to women. I refuse to have saggy boobs by the time I hit my thirties. Just give the kid some formula like the last time," Swathi said in an annoyed tone. The nurse stared at Swathi as if contemplating whether to laugh at her or strangle her with a pillow. Arnav had already considered the latter option. An hour after Swathi had fallen asleep, something that Arnav and the nurse were thankful for, he held his son and just stared at him. As if disturbed by being watched, Samrat carefully opened his eyes to blink slowly up at his father. Identical brown eyes stared up at Arnav, acknowledging his presence and his status of being a Dad. That had been one of the single greatest moments Arnav could remember ever since setting up his own business. Holding his son in his arms, Arnav knew he had made the right choice in convincing himself that this child will come into this world; he promised himself to prove to be a good father.
After Khushi had gotten Samrat ready for school, Akaash offered to drop him along with Kavya since none of them wanted to disturb Arnav. Khushi thanked Akaash and waved out to teh kids once they left for school. When she was back to the kitchen, Ratna asked her to check on Arnav. It had been a long time since he had come out of the room and she was beginning to worry about him. "I'll talk to him, Ma" Khushi said and walked upstairs. Payal held Ratna's hand in assurance, "Everything will be fine, Ma" Ratna heaved a sigh, "I hope so" Khushi entered the room and saw Arnav standing by the window, lost in thoughts. She closed the door behind her but he did not seem to notice her presence in the room. The painful look on his face told her that he was thinking about his past.
Three months had passed by. Arnav expected Swathi to return to her normalcy. But she never did. In fact, every moment he spent near her made him realise what a blunder he had made by marrying her. Where did the woman whom he fell in love and got married to, disappear? Who was this woman? She seemed like a stranger who merely resembled the one he loved. Yet, he couldn't come to hate her. He still had a soft corner for his Swathi, his first love, in his heart. After all, in spite of such a fuss, she had given him his life's greatest gift- his son. He sat on the chair, watching her filing her nails and painting them. "Arnav... I've met someone," Swathi said coolly as Arnav rocked Samrat in his arms while trying to feed him with the formula. "What?" Arnav asked her in a shocked whisper, as he suddenly stopped rocking his baby in his arms. "Yes, I've met someone. His name is Vikas," she replied, blowing on her nails "We're in love." Arnav placed Samrat on the bed and walked up to her. "What do you mean by in love'? You have a husband, a son, Swathi!" She rolled her eyes at him, "I just thought I'd let you know so that you can get time to settle for a separation." Arnav frowned and grabbed her by her arm, forcing her to stand up. "Ow, Arnav! Watch it!" she said, hoping the nail paint hadn't smeared. "You want a separation? What is wrong with you Swathi? You think marriage is a joke; something that you can just walk out of? What about me? What about us? We love each other, Swathi!"
She placed her hands on his chest, "Calm down Arnav. Stop overreacting! You need to accept that there's nothing left in this marriage. Hell, we don't even sleep together anymore! I'm a woman and I have my needs Arnav. Vikas treats me like a fine woman and fulfils all my needs." Arnav leaned against the wall and ran his hands through his hair, "Okay... Listen to me Swathi... You don't have to do this. Please. Tell me what I can do to make you stay. You want me to apologize? Fine. I'm sorry Swathi. I shouldn't have ignored you. But please, don't leave me. I promise we can set things right. How can you forget what we had; what we shared? Do you not love me anymore? And what about Samrat? How would he grow up without his mother? How can you be so disinterested in your own child?" In the meantime, Samrat began to wail loudly. Arnav rushed and picked him up in his arms, trying to hush him. Samrat recognised his father's cooing and calmed down. Swathi let out a deep breath, "Gosh, all this yelling, screaming and tension is giving me a migraine. Look, Arnav. I loved you. But that was before I met Vikas. Now I love him. He has much more to offer to me than what you have to give. Plus, I don't get any responsibilities with him. Whereas with you," she looked at the child in his arms, "the less said, the better. And what do you mean by how will the kid grow? There are a million kids who grow up without parents. Your kid has you. I'm sure you'll take care of him." Arnav stood speechless for a moment. But when she pulled out a suitcase, he followed her to the cupboard when she began to pack her things, "Arnav, I'll be leaving tomorrow morning. Vikas will pick me up. I'll send the divorce papers. Just sign them without a fuss, alright..." With that, she left the room after packing her things. Arnav looked at the empty cupboard, and then looked at the baby in his arms who smiled at him without any concern. He smiled back at the little one.
The next day, Swathi picked up her bags and was ready to leave. Samrat was placed in the cradle and was wailing loudly. Arnav was trying to convince Swathi not to leave him and Samrat, "Swathi please, don't make any hasty decision. Please stay back and give it some time. Everything will be fine." Ratna picked the baby from the cradle and hushed him, but Samrat only wailed louder. "What kind of a mother are you, Swathi?" Ratna screamed at her, "You're child is weeping and you hardly care!" Swathi looked at her, "You're absolutely right. I don't care at all. You're son wanted a child. So here it is. Let him take care of the baby which he wanted so badly. Only I know how much of pain I had to go through to bring him out, and then how much of money I had to spend to get my body back into shape!" Ratna shook her head, "Gosh Swathi! Have you no blood in your eyes? Have you no humanity left? Have you completely lost your mind?" Swathi ignored the older woman and walked to Arnav who was bitterly crying, "Arnav, please settle the divorce as soon as possible. I get ten percent of whatever assets you have. Also, the kid stays with you. Having him with me is not going to do any good to me. I need to move ahead and prosper; I need to see so many places. The kid will only hold me from achieving what I really wish for." Arnav held her hands and wept, "Please Swathi, for heaven's sake don't do this. Don't wreck out marriage. Don't walk out on me" Arvind who was watching the entire drama, folded the newspaper in his hands and raised his voice, "Stop begging that woman to stay, Arnav." He walked to Swathi, "Get out of my house, right now. And don't fret over the ten percent of the alimony. You'll get it" Swathi smirked at the old man. "Your Dad is a wise man, Arnav. See you at court" Saying that she patted Arnav's arm and left without a glance behind.
Arnav walked to his Dad, "Please stop her Dad. How can I love without her? I love her, Dad! Think of how will Samrat live?" Arvind crossed his arms at his chest, "I should have asked her to leave a long time back. And stop behaving like a baby, Arnav. Samrat will be better without her." Arnav grew angry and stepped away from him, "You never wanted me to marry her in the first place, right? I hope you're happy now." Turning to his mother, he said, "I cannot and will not stay with Dad under one roof. I'm moving out, right now" Ratna turned to Arvind to ask him to stop Arnav. But he said, "He did not listen to me back then, when I asked him not to marry that woman. Even now, he would do his own wish. Why should I ask him to stay back? Let him do what he wants. Once he knows how difficult it really is to look after a child, he'll be back on his own" Within a span of two hours, Arnav packed his things and asked one of his friend to look for a single bedroom apartment on rent. Within a week's time, he moved into his new flat. In a span of four months, the divorce was settled and Swathi received the alimony she claimed for. Throughout the four months, Arnav tried convincing her to rethink about the decision of opting for a divorce, promising her that he will try to change things between them. She turned a deaf ear to his pleas. And just like that, he was divorced and was left behind with Samrat, whom he considered to be his world.
Khushi walked up to him and hugged him from behind. He did not react for some time. A while later, he placed his hands on hers and gave it a gentle squeeze. She kissed his back and leaned her cheek into his body. "All that Samrat ever wanted from her was just a little bit of motherly attention and yet, she never gave him an ounce!" Khushi realised he was talking about Swathi. She noticed how his voice choked as he spoke to her about that woman. "She didn't look at him, didn't feed him; she never changed a diaper of his; she never played a single game with him. Samrat never even recognised her touch or voice." Khushi had tears in her eyes. How could a woman be so harsh to her own flesh and blood? How could Swathi be so stone-hearted towards an innocent soul like Samrat? Arnav turned around and it broke Khushi's heart to see tears in his eyes. She had seen him so distraught only once, when Samrat was in the hospital after she had shouted at him on the occasion of holi. Arnav closed his eyes and hugged her tight. He needed to hold on to her so that he could be assured that everything would be alright. "She hardly saw Samrat's face, Khushi. She never even called him by his name. Not one day did she sit next to him and hold him to hush him when he was crying." Arnav was now hiccupping. Khushi made him sit on the bed and rubbed his back while still hugging him. Like a small child, he lied down, placing his head in her lap. She ran her fingers through his hair and patted him, hugging him and telling him that it was all going to be alright. He continued to talk through his hitched breath, "Samrat's first word was Dada'. It was for me, not for her; not anyone else. I took him with me to work, I bathed him, fed him, changed him, played with him. That woman said that she'd rather not hear his cries because they gave her a headache. I looked after Samrat, Khushi. No one knows the struggles I've gone through, not even Ma. And now, one fine day, just like that, she comes back to claim my son. That bitch sends a notice that she wants custody of my son! Well, over my dead body..."
Khushi placed her fingers on his lips and shook her head. "Don't say that..." she said in a pained voice, "Don't you ever say that, Arnav" She wiped her own tears with the back of her hand before wiping away his. She cupped his face with one hand and patted his head in another, "If Swathi wants to put up a fight, we will fight, Arnav. We will not let her lay her hands on Samrat. Why are you scared, Arnav? I'm there with you, right beside you to fight for our Samrat. I will not let her hurt you or Samrat. Just promise me you will not lose hope, ever"
Her words seemed to fill him with a renewed hope. He sat up and held her hands in his, looking at her face. "Thank you" he said after a moment. When she frowned, he smiled, "Thank you for being with me whenever I need you." Khushi leaned forward and kissed his forehead, "I'm always with you" He pulled her towards himself and lay down on the bed together with her in his arms. She hugged him and kissed his chest. Suddenly, he felt her smile against him. Looking down at her, he noticed he wasn't wrong. "What made you smile?" he asked in a soft voice. She looked up at him, "I just remembered something that Samrat said." He looked at her inquisitively and she said, "He asked me why you were mad. I told him that you got a letter saying that someone threatened to take away something that is precious to you" Arnav's smile dimmed. Khushi continued, "But I told him that Daddy and Mommy will not allow anyone to take that precious thing away" Listening to her words, his smile widened. Khushi said, "Samrat said we would fight and would win because his Daddy is the strongest Daddy in the world. He called you Superman and then called me wonder-woman." This time, Arnav chuckled, "Samrat and his craze about these flying superheroes!" He paused for a moment and looked at her for a whole minute, "Sam was right in a way about you being wonder-woman" Khushi knit her brows in confusion. Arnav smiled mischievously, "I mean, look at all those frigging sexy curves!" Khushi slapped his arm and he looked at her in confusion with a grin. "Don't compare mine to another woman's curves" she said with a playful tone. Arnav, feigning shock, said, "Gosh, never. Why would you even say that? This superman is happy with his very own wonderful wonder-woman. He wants no other." Khushi looked into his eyes and saw that he meant it. She hugged him tight and closed her eyes as he absently drew patterns on her arm with his fingers.
Minutes passed by. None of them spoke, but were simply content in each other's arms. "Don't ever leave me Khushi. No matter what" he spoke a while later, in a soft voice. She knew it was the fear of his bitter experiences talking. She shook his head, "Never. I will never leave you" He kissed the top of her head, "I promise to try my best to keep you happy. But if I fail..." "Ssshh..." she hushed him, "I know you'll never hurt me. And I will never leave you, Arnav. Also, we will not let go of our baby; our Samrat" He smiled genuinely and she felt him relax himself at her promising words. He now knew that no matter what, they would not lose their Samrat. Swathi will have to accept defeat at any expense.
Pati Patni Aur Panga
Jaane Anjaane Hum Mile
Tum Se Tum Tak
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Mannat Har Khushi Paane Ki
Vasudha
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