Posted:
I've all of a sudden been silent here...stopped posting at 999 posts...finally...i let my heart speak up...here is an extract from my Diary which I would love to share with everyone for my 1000th post here at IF...
05 June,2014 10:55 am
Saturday,
Dear Diary,
How quickly can mood change...in split seconds!!! Seconds ago...i was shattered to see my social state. And then, all of a sudden, some faces in front of my eyes and in my mind, it just changed things...that too, i believe, forever. And honestly, I don't know how, I don't know why, I don't know when, I don't know what...things just happened in split seconds,you know, and they...they just happened. Some time ago, I was so glum with such a serious expression on my face that I couldn't even bear to return a friendly 'hi'. And then, I became really hyper, so hyper that i literally stopped caring of what the world would think or if they would laugh at seeing me talk to myself. I was jumping on my seat, sorry, my friend's seat(i had changed my seat to sit besides the open window), and smiling like a nutter. But i didn't care, I had become really happy with myself all of a sudden. I was satisfied with myself, 'prasann' infact, all of a sudden. Okay, a lot of all over the place stuff. Now...lets come to the point...
...amongst all the people sitting in the group, not everyone was an Odyssian. Not everyone present there had got a chance to work and live together in the same room, the Odyssey room, for two months. And yet, they were so open, frank, and easy-going with each other, while I, being an ex-Odysseyian, I was standing there like a voiceless person with sealed lips, not uttering a word. Those moments I spent there with all those people, they reminded me, yet again, of my unsocial self. Those people were joking with each other, while I, I was standing there as if I knew nobody. I didn't know where to jump in inside the conversation, nor did anyone seem interested to make me a part of it. I was feeling really lost and hurt. These people, who I loved, I seemed to be invisible to them. I don't even remember receiving a proper Hi from them. And then, after standing there like a soul-less body for quite some time, I was asked to call another person. With a very blank and lost expression and not the slightest sign of a smile, I said, "Haan, theek hai..." and just walked away. As i exited that place, my walk became an angry one. I guess I was angry with myself. I was reminded of all the unsocial encounters I had with some people who I really liked as friends, but I was nowhere near to becoming their good friend. I was in a 'hi-bye' relation with them, nothing more than that. But before I could really feel helpless and alone, with not a single good friend in the world , I was reminded of some of the most amazing people who have crossed my path and always stayed by my side, and made my life really beautiful and given me some worth and value. All the fun with my two friend-footballers, all those laughing-at-everything talks with the cutie friend, my long distance but closest to heart friends cum sissy's, my dancer friend, my most amazing dance instructor, my crazy girl(s) from the opposite section, and my most frequent and beloved IF friends...my frown instantly broke into a smile...those people for whom i had spoiled my mood, maybe, they weren't just my type, why was i letting them influence me??? i have so many better people in this world, specifically at this place, in our AT...who i adore...whose hidden faces have always made me smile...they have inspired me, given me value, and made me realize my worth again. They made my life so beautiful...they appreciated me for what i really am, not what the world saw me as...honestly, those people...they have made me happy each day, the replies on my stories have left me overwhelmed each time...whenever i just go down the philosophical-type path to reply someone...i get amazed to see what they think about me...things i never really imagined, things i never really thought i was...they made it so beautiful for me...i honestly wanted to shed a tear, a single tear out of happiness...how much love this place, these people have given me...i never expected so much...honestly now...these people are so close to my heart that i can't live a day without them...however angry i become at them, i just can't stay away from them for long...even though i decided not to post, I still came back here, time to time...just to see them...these people here have become so essential for me...they have made me smile, inspired me, guided me, made me a better person, and...they have given me a home...a real home...where the doors are always open...where my sorrows evaporate into thin air...where I can be myself, just the way I am, I actually am, I am me, and everyone loves me the way I am...oh I got to be a part of this place, the AT, I'm so grateful and overwhelmed and honestly, speechless...thank u so much to everyone who made it so real for me...u all actually made me see my Dreams being fulfilled...can i ask for anything bigger than that...???Although I haven't mentioned any names, still, I know they know...
I love u guys, I love u to the core, n I seriously mean it when I say... i Can't Live Without You all...thank u so much...thank u from the bottom of my heart...I Love u all...!!!!
Okay...sorry diary, I actually forgot I was writing to you...i got so lost in their memories... :P
Bye...will see you soon...
- Aru :*
Thats it guys...that was a little extract from my Diary...i know u all must be thinking what an over-emotional and weird person I am...but then...thats just me...n whatever opinions U may form about me after reading this...honestly...I will still love u all forever, ever, ever...i've refrained from taking any names...if I started...the list wud be endless...but then...I know u all know... ;)
thank u so much guys...thank u so so much...my journey till this 1000th post has truly truly been commendable and full of memories...thank u so much...
*group hug*
Yayayayyayayayy!!!!!
CID
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
