Ankita's ~ AR One Shot Gallery ~ Nothing without you PT2 PG9 18/04/14 - Page 3

It had been a few blissful months to their marriage. Armaan was his charming self, always wanting to do whatever it took to please his dear wifey, pampering her, showering her with all the love. He was happy like never before, the feeling of loneliness in his life had entirely vanished now with Riddhima by his side. He finally had a family, and he was a happy, content man.

Riddhima ,the perfect daughter, the perfect friend, the perfect doctor was trying to be a perfect wife to her best. She wasn't so vocal or expressive with her love as was the case when they had been courting but she had begun to value Armaan's love more than ever and reciprocated it all the same.

But she was a wife, and that too an Ex- Gupta, a family who would even come to know if a speck of dust lying in the dustbin would change its place. Reeling from a cleaning disorder, Riddhima genuinely seemed like a soldier on mission in the morning totally opposite to her half sleepy husband who was in no mood to let her out of his arms.

"Armaan could you please leave me, I am trying to clean the house." Riddhima said trying to wriggle out of Armaan's arms. He had caught her cleaning the shelf in the hall room, trying to perfectly place what was already perfectly angled on it over and over. Not listening to her, he was nibbling her earlobe, kissing her neck, making her struggle between controlling the sensations he was causing within her and cleaning her home.

"It's already clean yaar Riddhima, isse zyaada saaf karogi na toh furniture ka polish aur walls par se paint hi uttar jayega. I've spent a lot on it you know, please don't ruin it," Armaan teased her.

"Armaan tum toh safai ki baat hi mat karo, you're the most unorganised person I've seen, jo jaha mann karta hai wohi rakh dete ho, why don't you keep things in place," Riddhima reprimanded him making him press his head in exhaustion.

"Who has that much time to waste yaar Riddhima, the more time I waste on being as perfect as you are, the lesser time I get to romance with you," he retorted.

Riddhima rolled her eyes and giggled, "Kuch aur nahi soojta na, bas sirf shaitani ya romance."

"Yeah ab hum dono mai se kisi ko toh apni age ke hisaab se behave karna padega na," he said tauntingly.

"What do you mean Armaan? Kya mai buddhi hun?"

"Ho nahi par behave toh waise hi karti ho. Keep everything in place, brush your teeth, have your food, sleep on time, tumhara bas chale toh romance bhi time table bana kar karogi," Armaan complained almost sulking about her strict ways.

"Haan toh? Someone toh needs to behave sensible between the both of us na."

"If that's called being sensible then I am better off being a scatter brain," Armaan remarked sitting down on the couch pulling Riddhima along with him, nesting his face in her hair.

"Armaan chodo, ye kya kar rahe ho.."

"Dekha dekha, whenever I try to be naughty, tum ye stupid, exasperating question poochti ho, like seriously don't you know what I am doing."

"Kyunki tum kahi bhi, kabhi bhi shuru ho jaate ho Armaan, tumhara bas chale toh you'll glue me to yourself and keep me in your arms all day, all life," Riddhima teased him even as she enjoyed the feel of his arms around her, and his soft breath on her neck.

"In all this bakwaas, this is the first time you spoke some sense. That is exactly what I want, you in my arms forever, so you can never run away," Armaan mumbled as he nestled her closer, his eyes closed blissfully.

Riddhima turned to look at him in surprise. Did he think she would leave him?

"Armaan what are you saying? I am never going to run away, kuch bhi kehte rehte ho.." Riddhima reprimanded him.

Armaan looked up at her, sorry to have offended her," I know you won't, but what if I trouble you so much one day that you are left with no choice," Armaan said in a tone Riddhima couldn't gauge was serious or naughty. Seeing her lost in thought Armaan opened her palm that he had clasped and tenderly kissed it making her smile and bend down to kiss his forehead.

Such little moments were what defined their relation, words weren't required. A kiss on the forehead, an innocent touch conveyed more than what a volley of words could never do.

The rest of the morning was spent how Armaan liked it the best. He insisted on a shower together to save water, which they ended up wasting even more. Riddhima was miffed even though she had secretly enjoyed it but what Armaan didn't know was, it was a ploy to get him to make her breakfast, which he did with all his heart. He loved making her breakfast, he usually tried to get it for her in bed, even though the toasts were usually half burnt and the eggs had no salt, or lots of it, she ended up enjoying the breakfast only because of how excited and eager he looked when he made it and fed it to her.

**************

That night Armaan came back extremely exhausted, ready to drop. Muskaan and Atul had both taken an untimely off, leaving a pile of work on him since they managed the OPD together. He entered the hall room to find Riddhima half lying on the couch watching TV, flipping the channels distractedly. He hadn't seen her all day, since they had been working on different floors and he had had practically no time to even eat lunch. All he wanted was to get into bed with Riddhima and sleep while cuddling her close.

"Hey," he whispered as he sat on the perch of the couch and bend to kiss her head. She looked up and smiled slightly.

"Let me get you your dinner," Riddhima said getting off the couch.

"Did you eat?" Armaan asked concerned as he followed her to the table. She nodded and served him his food, while his eyes followed her everywhere.

He was surprised when instead of sitting with him while he ate, she began walking up towards their room. Maybe she was tired he thought and nibbled on his food not used to sitting alone during dinner. After toying with his food for a while, he ate little and put the rest away. Cleaning the kitchen as she liked, he moved up to their room.

When he entered the room she was already in bed snuggled under the covers with her eyes closed. He showered, changed and got into the bed next to her. Kissing her temple he rested his cheek on hers, her touch was his only way to unwind after a tiring stressful day; what would he do without it?

She seemed upset and distracted today, but he knew better than to prod her into telling him. He knew when she needed her space, so he let her be, hoping that next morning she would feel better and if not she would tell him whatever it was.

*************

"Hey Armaan what's up?" Rahul greeted Armaan that afternoon in the cafe while he was eating his lunch alone. He had paged Riddhima, but she had replied saying she was busy.

"Aaj akele akele?" Where's your wife? Preparing for the big shift?" Rahul inquired.

"Kya bakwaas kar raha hai? What shift?" Armaan asked confused.

"I thought it was bakwaas too when I heard about it, can't believe you're ready to send her away for a year."

"Wha.. uh.. Rahul what are you talking about?" Armaan asked on the verge of losing his patience.

"Riddhima's going to Singapore na, Dr Shashank wants her to work on the hospital he's dreamt of establishing there, it's a yearlong project. Tu toh aise pretend kar raha hai jaise you don't know anything at all. By the way I didn't know you two could survive so long without each other,"Rahul commented in a surprised tone.

"I didn't know either... until now," Armaan said stunned, dejected and hurt.

*************

"Hey how was your day?" Armaan hugged Riddhima, as he opened the door to welcome her home.

"Same old, how was yours?"

"Exciting," Armaan said smiling, a smile that didn't reach his eyes Riddhima thought.

"Come on in, I have something for you," Armaan said shutting the door.

"What is it?"

"See for yourself," Armaan said pulling her to the table. There were some overcoats, some ready to heat food packets and a few documents lying amidst the pile.

"Ye sab kya hai Armaan? Riddhima asked curious, but her heart beat doubled, guessing the reason.

"Oh I thought you would need all of this when you shift. Seeing you didn't have the time I shopped a little for you, and got some brochures, they'll help you around," Armaan said it as if it was the most obvious thing to do.

Colour faded from her face as she grew pale," So you know?" she asked in a whisper.

"Yeah thankfully I got to know, before you left that is.." Armaan said chuckling derisively.

"Armaan.. I was going to .."

"Have you eaten anything? I am not so hungry today but I warmed the dinner anyway, eat it okay?" Armaan said avoiding what Riddhima had wanted to talk about and turned to clear the mess he had made of his shopping and repacked it.

"Arma..Armaan listen to me.." Riddhima fumbled embarrassed and extremely scared with Armaan's cool demeanour.

"Haan bolo na Riddhima.." he said looking away.

Riddhima's palms grew wet, she wanted to say so much, but words just shuffled in her mouth. She was unable to string a word together, to explain or justify herself.

"Armaan this was a surprise to me also, the other day Papa called me to his cabin .."

"I don't want to know, you've decided to go and you will, what's there to explain?" Armaan asked coolly.

Riddhima was taken aback at the tone, but she knew he was angry; or rather hurt and he deserved an explanation even if he pretended he didn't.

"Please Armaan mujhe bolne ka mauka toh do.."

"But what's there to say, when I don't want to hear it. Anyway, not like there's much to understand anyway. Your dad wanted you to go and without a question you will, simple logic," Armaan stated bluntly.

Riddhima's brows furrowed in confusion on hearing his taunt, which sounded more like an accusation, " Armaan?"

"There's nothing to be so confused about Riddhima. If your dad asks something from you, you would do it at the blink of an eye and that is quiet clear to me, so what's the need to explain anything to me when you didn't find the need until now," Armaan remarked, the anger he had restrained rising and finding its way out.

"It's not like that Armaan, this has been his dream from forever. He was so enthusiastic when he called me, excited to send me for this venture, he had it all planned. I couldn't refuse it knowing it would hurt him terribly," Riddhima spoke without breaking into tears hoping Armaan would understand her, he always did.

"Did I say you had to refuse to go? Why are you justifying yourself? This is the best career move for you, you should definitely go."

"And you? You wouldn't mind me going. It's about a year, not a week or two Armaan."

"Oh so you know it's for a year?"

"Armaan please look at me, why are you talking in riddles? Tum aise kyun pretend kar rahe ho as if this hasn't affected you at all?" Riddhima appealed guiltily.

Armaan turned around seconds later, anger ablaze in his eyes, his posture stiff but the throbbing vein in his forehead alarmingly threatening.

"Do you even know me Riddhima? If you do how are you even asking me this question in the first place? You're going away to another country for an entire year, and you want to know if it hasn't affected me? You've taken this decision I don't know how many days ago and I got to know about it today, but not from you but from someone else. Do you even know how embarrassing it was to find out from Rahul that my wife had decided to leave me for a year and not even let me know, forget ask me for my opinion. When that is all the importance I have in your life, why are you behaving like you care and standing here trying to give me baseless explanations I care a damn for?"

Riddhima was rendered speechless, the enormity of the situation hitting her at last. But he had taken it all wrong. She cared for him, just as much as he did for her. She wasn't excited at the prospect of going either, no matter how huge it might be for her career, but how was she to refuse her dad anything. He had given her a new life, a family; she was what she was because of him. How could she refuse what he had so eagerly asked her for.

"Armaan baby I love you, and you know I wouldn't go away from you for a day, this is killing me too, I don't want to go.. but I.." Riddhima said placing her hand on his shoulder to turn him around which he did but only to corner her angrily.

"You don't get it do you? This is not about you going away Riddhima. This is about you not finding it important to talk to me about it, not finding it important to tell your dad to give you a day to think about it, not finding it significant to inform me if nothing else. Do you think I am so selfish I wouldn't let you go? If that is what you wanted, I would organise everything for you, from your tickets to your stay everything. I can give away my life for you, a year is nothing. This isn't about the decision you made, this is about you not finding me worthy enough to let me know you were going to walk out of this house two weeks later for a year, for 365 days. It's suddenly struck me how damn important I am to you, and I am supposed to freaking understand you?" Armaan said shaking in anger, his eyes boring into hers as she stood frozen listening to his every word.

She saw tears glistening in his eyes and the tears that had been brimming in hers trickled down furiously blurring her vision. She lifted her hand to caress his cheek and wipe the tears even before they flowed, but he pushed her hand and moved back.

"Don't do that, don't pretend to care about what I feel when you don't."

"Armaan? You think I don't care about your feelings?"

"Do you?" Armaan questioned accusingly, and she had no reply to it.

"You know Riddhima if I were in your place right now, you would have me thrown out of your life, probably doubting me for cheating on you with a girl who was in Singapore waiting for me," Armaan said unmindfully, not realising a word he was saying by now, but she saw it in his eyes, he meant it all.

"Armaan!" Riddhima shouted at him, shocked to hear his words, to know he thought so low of her trust on him.

"Dare me?" Armaan challenged her.

"I would never and you know that. Is that what you think of me? Do you think I am going there because.." Riddhima mumbled her voice shaking.

"Is that all you know me for?" Armaan questioned barely in a whisper.

"Actually forget it, I don't think you understand why I am hurt, and why would you? I don't think you've ever cared enough. Armaan ka kya hai? Woh toh pagal hai. Bachon jaise behave karta hai, he'll sulk, brood for a while, I'll go sweet talk, give him a few kisses, spend a night in bed, one shower in the morning, go down on my knees and he'll be happy as ever as he always is. Who cares if he'll be all alone, who cares if he'll be lost and lifeless without me, who cares that he is my husband, my partner, who cares that he has a right to know if not to question or change my mind?"

"Armaan.. what.. are." Riddhima whimpered now crying uncontrollably, her knees almost giving away, not being able to support him anymore.

"You know I am just glad that your dad didn't refuse your marriage to me this time around, I am sure if he had, you would have agreed without a question to that as well.. like you always do," Armaan uttered what had pinched him the most and what hit home the hardest and the most painfully.

Riddhima's knees gave away at his words as she finally realized how her careless decision had hurt Armaan, where his insecurities crept up from, and why he always feared her running away. She had never let him be her priority, while she was his first, last and his only priority.

She hadn't bothered to ask him, and she had gone and taken a decision all by herself to stay away from him, for a damn year. He had no one but her, how would he survive, how would she survive.

Why was Shashank's every word so important to her that she ignored that one man's feelings for whom she mattered the most, who gave her precedence over himself, unlike her father who hadn't even thought of her wishes or her married life before he ordered her to go. She didn't deserve her Armaan, she never had. She had always hurt him, always taken him for granted. But this time she had crossed all the limits there were, she had made him part of her life forever, but by one action made him feel how he didn't matter at all. She had made him feel unimportant, unwanted and lonely.

How was she ever going to make it up to him? How was she going to look into his eyes ever again and not feel shameful? What was she going to do to earn his love, and pull together their trust and togetherness that she had ruined with her own hands.