******* - Page 7

When Heart Says 'Yes' and Mind Says 'No'---- Loved the title! In fact, it made me smile..Always heart and mind is in conflict right?

Can't recollect the last time when we didn't celebrate Christmas. Midnight mass, carol singing, the treats, dressing up, gawking guys in the church...--- Wow! You have written those memories in such a fond memories manner that I couldn't help recalling my convent school days...And my thought was exactly Khushi's next thought ----Times change, Khushi Kumari Gupta. --- Yes indeed time & Circumstances change.----And in between all those, we get lost of the track of time and the changes happening to us..

Does it mean I have to change too? It means you need to grow up. --- Again I loved this mussing! People demand you to grow up! Society and the situations in which you are force you to grow up!

But what's the harm in wishing myself. --- No harm at all, you can pamper yourself like you want to be. Don't wait for others to do. But you do yourself! That's the best way!

You couldn't have dreamt of a better X-mas. Holiday with best friends."Sigh! One should be lucky for that!

There's something to be said of girls who grow up in convents - especially those who spent those long academic years living in that environment rather than commuting from home. No matter which religion one belonged to or didn't, celebrating Christmas enthusiastically becomes a common denominator. After all, what's not to rejoice? It is a festival of hope, a holiday season when exchanging gifts is the biggest job one undertakes and enjoys mouth-watering, finger-licking food. --- So true! So true! Well, holiday season, that word itself makes you fly high! And yes, you too keep hope for something better and good next year while being thankful for all the goodness this year and lessons learnt!

Each resplendent dewdrop clinging to the green tendrils of the lawn were spot lit by sunlight, lovingly.--- I loved the description of nature's simple beauty which could fill your heart with hope and happiness.

Come on, Khushi!

I stayed up because I hoped to see him last night.

Now I am up because I can't wait to see him.

The least I can do is to be honest with myself.

Then, why did I rebuff his attempt to talk last night?

Self-preservation.

Is that why I accused him of pawing?

Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!

Devi Maiyya!

I was merely trying to wiggle out of an awkward situation.

I know... I know.

It doesn't mean I accuse him unfairly.

You are right, Devi Maiyya!

Should I apologize?

That means I'll have to talk about the kiss again?

No way.

I loved Khushi's conflict, she want to give in but can't give in..its funny to an outside but the one who feels this conflicts feels so torn between their emotions and rationality. You have brought it out very well. The title is apt.

I think recalling a kiss is more erotic than the actual kissing (mouth probing, duelling, breast touching) also the feeling of marking each other (whiskers and nails)- I came to this conclusion after Khushi recalling how she kissed him. Man! You rock! He he------She wondered whether she had marked him with her nails as he had her with his whiskers.

I was hoping that Mami would be in a good role here because she was all loving and warming towards Khushi years back. But disappointed to see her Mami avatar---but that's natural if you think from a mother's perspective, she isn't that open minded and wouldn't approve Payal, an orphan easily, I don't how large hearted she is----However, it was impossible to like Manorama this time around, with her nasty comments and innuendos towards Payal.

Stupid Akash!

Couldn't he be more discreet?

If he wanted to flaunt his relationship with PalPal, he should have talked to his mother earlier.

Devi Maiyya! Please don't allow anyone to come between them.

We need to keep Pal away from Mamiji. ---

I liked the contrast in Khushi's thoughts, of course she loved Akash, but Khushi's priority is her PalPal. The need to protect her friend's feelings and the small doubt and fear in Akash's capability to stand up for Payal is lurking behind the exasperated Stupid Akash!

It is too beautiful a morning to sleep away. Really, Khushi Gupta! ---LOL!!

She had missed the cold climes and mountain air. In fact she had looked forward to it with as much enthusiasm as meeting her friends. --- Clime is a new word for me..and yes, you made me nostalgic now and longing to go for a trip to some hill station..Sigh!

The roadside was paved with silky bed of pine needles. The woods beyond remained in shadows as the morning light struggled to filter down through the gaps in the treetops. --- I tried to get a snap to show this effect, but nothing came to my liking, you have presented a beautiful scene of nature here! I dunno whether you watch Malayalam movies, but there are some movies, where this nature beauty has been captured, like in Summer in Bethleham, Dreams, hence when I read this part, that scenes came to my mind!

The kind of pain where he felt bereft of life despite living, breathing and going about everyday chores. --- You can't describe it more beautifully and precisely!

When he was old enough he had decided that romance and love were not his cup of tea. They are for the weak hearted and it also meant losing control. He had no desire to be either.---- Man can decide, but god decides too and executes according to his wish

One of the hardest things he had done was walking away from that train. --- I can't explain, but I loved it, this scene of him walking away from that train, without turning back! It's always the hardest thing to do to walk away from that person whom you want to take in your arms and never leave.

Only thing if at all that made it easier was the single thought that he was doing the right thing by her. He had nothing to offer her - nothing worthwhile because he was a cynic who anticipated and awaited trouble even before embarking on a task while she was the kind who looked for happy endings. He was the pessimist while she was the eternal optimist. He was too damaged for her. Period. - Loved his reasons, this is his rational and logical sense trying to convince the heart.

For the first time in years he felt the fear creep up on him - fear of losing something precious if he didn't hold on carefully enough. All of a sudden the solitude he cherished felt claustrophobic. Silence that he welcomed was deafening. - I liked these lines, you can get set in your ways and carry on with your life without actually living it, but when someone drops in and makes you realise what you have been missing, then the loneliness becomes a torture!

He couldn't wait to see her and be around her. He craved her infectious laughter and guileless words. ---Awwwahhh! So cute!! So unlike him but she brings the kid out of him, whom he had long ago buried within him.

He was not one who entertained romantic notions but now he questioned the stance for the very first time. The thought of living alone for the rest of his life didn't appeal as much as it did for as long as he could remember. ---- Aha! The mind is trying to reason out with the rational sense! I love this play of reasoning and counter reasoning!

His meticulously constructed life has begun to fall apart with his heart waging the war against his mind.--- That's a tough battle! Sometimes we call truce...but then after a break it begins again, need vs want

He knew who it was without any semblance of doubt. The erratic beat of his heart was a good enough proof of the person's identity. --- Does it really happen, I mean in real?? Curious!! ;-)

rest in next

They looked at each other ponderously for several seconds without blinking. He barely moved his hand to close the door yet seal them in the room, he did. The small enclosure continued to shrink in size as the second's hand ticked loudly on Khushi's watch. ---- Wow!! You raise my heartbeats by building up such a scene...Its beautiful..I can hear the tick tick...and see the eye-lock between them in my mind's eye...wonderful location!

Khushi through Arnav's eyes, wow, you reminded me of a pink rose in all its beauty and glory and Khushi's feelings on his staring - wow! The girl feels but is trying to hang on to her rational side.

It may have been the insulation in the room or the undercurrents between them, the end result made Arnav feel hot. ----LOL!! If it didn't he isn't a man!

His t-shirt moved up to reveal his flat stomach sprinkled lightly with hair and his tracks slung low on his hips. --- ahem ahem!! Gutter mind working!

You are mad, Khushi Kumari Gupta.

Certifiably mad. --- Yea! Love can make one mad!

She felt her heart lurch when she noticed the shoes moving towards her. --- ha ha! Oh god! Tick tick tick

There goes my decision to stay aloof and indifferent.--- Can't help it yaar!Even though his question is to incite a response from her, the feelings it created in her was lovely, it makes her floating in air without support, he remembering her activities, the way he says her name! oh cool! To hell with self preservation but I am glad she held on to her dignity even though she blushed. It's hard to recall self preservation points in those moments

"Nothing is troubling me. And even if it were, you would be the last person I would share with." She said curtly. --- Wow lady! That was a bang!

"Why not? I thought we were friends. Didn't we shake hands on that four years ago when you came to Delhi?" He was persistent. --- Oh man! How dare he say that now? He was the one who pushed her away!

"Sure I remember that holiday, Arnav. And yes, I did make few friends then who are very special. Like Akash and Aman. But you are not a friend. Not you. Friends keep in touch. Friends don't drop out of your life. Friends don't forget you and tell you to forget them." Khushi stopped speaking abruptly when she felt her thundering heart burn unbearably. --- Oh! Hugs Khushi! It might not be easy to say that! But its good that you said it..

An instant relief flooded her. The kind of relief one experiences after speaking the thoughts that had been bottled up for years.--- exactly!!

But the relief was soon replaced with mortification. Khushi was horrified to say the least. She had no intention of exposing her thoughts or emotions because it meant leaving herself vulnerable to hurt. --- It's ok Khushi..sometimes you got to be blunt and express how hurt you were by their actions. It doesn't show you as a weak person. Just show them that you have move on and doesn't hold a grudge, instead make them feel that it was their loss that they walked away..

"I didn't forget you." (complete silence and holding my breath)

Instead she spun around to face him.

If Arnav knew the damage his words had done, he didn't show it. He stood rather innocuously with his hands in his pockets; shoulders squared indicating that he was ready to face her while his caramel eyes bore into hers in a disconcerting way. --- I loved both of their stance..Confrontation finally!! At this point, I stopped writing my comments for each line and read the rest of the chapter in one go.

I dunno what I feel, a big part of me is happy that Khushi stood strong and threw it back at him, and admitted honestly what she isn't ready to. But at the same time, I can feel her pain, I can feel her longing, but the intense need to keep away to avoid being hurt is what touched me. Her pain at what Arnav has asked her years back is still hurting her. Naturally it would!

Arnav, on the other hand, I dunno this guy..he says her to stay away and now he questions her...he admits his wants and needs but he cant promise, his mercurial mood swings and desires without promises will break others- that's what he got to realise. If they are taking a plunge with him, then he need to assure them he would hold them and break their fall. Instead asking to jump without a parachute is thrill but it will break your neck. You cant force them to jump.

I loved this line --- Honesty is a brave value but she dashed it as an option.

Here it shows that she still remembers each moment, each gesture, each word ---"Sure I did. I firmly put you behind me. I don't think I have changed much and.."

"What suggestion? I don't remember." She equivocated once again. LOL!! I am loving her combat stance, answers like strong arrows.

She never understood how he could tell her to move on with other guys. It was callous. (Exactly!!!) As if their time together didn't matter. As if what they shared was a passing phase (It hurts badly!) . As if it was the sensible thing to do, to move on from one man to another. As if she didn't matter to him (Too terrible to ask her for). Therefore he shouldn't matter to her.

"Did you find a guy who was unlike me?" He asked with quiet intensity.

Khushi was incensed. She was horrified, mortified and furious.

"How dare you? How dare you ask me that question Mr Arnav Singh Raizada? Who the hell do you think you are? What do you think of me? You have no right to ask me that question and if you thought I would answer it, think again. Who do you think you are?" Her voice shook with indignation while she glared mutinously at him for a few moments --- Absolutely loved this tigress! She is doing well for herself, to preserve her!

1. Arnav noticed the turbulent emotions in those doe eyes. It was Psychology 100 that humans did what they had to in order to protect themselves when they fear getting hurt. In Khushi's case it was a clear case of once bitten twice shy. Hence her decision to hit out before getting hurt was something he understood.

2. His breath fanned her ear sending her physical awareness into an overdrive. His proximity set her heart racing like a bullet train despite her rage. Goosebumps covered her skin when his hand released her fingers one by one from around the handle, agonizingly slowly.

3. A long silence ensued while she kept her back to him with her eyes closed. Khushi trembled. She fisted her hands and gritted her jaw to control the shiver that ran up her spine. She then turned in the tight space he allowed her. Her heart continued to beat wildly in her chest while his caramel eyes bored into her doe eyes in that indiscernible way.

4. Arnav watched the hazel tints flash fire and her cheeks turn pink in anger. He felt her arms on his chest. He teetered dangerously before he steadied himself when she shoved him back. ---

These 4 points shows the intensity of her internal battle, amazing job! To hold her ground and fight when all you want is to give in, is tough really tough! And she lashed out using the final card and that got a reaction. He has no right to be angry

He looked angry and something else that she couldn't quite recognize. He stood in a combative pose with his chest open and his hands on his hips. --- well! Somehow I didn't find his combative pose appealing! Something missing..his eyes perfectly explained his anger..but chest open and hands on hips - reminded me of mythological characters like kamsa, duryodhana! He he..

"But it is. Remember yesterday. Remember, the kiss." His tone dripped sarcasm. "I know why I kissed you. Why did you kiss me Khushi?" --- I felt his tactic cheap...bringing in the kiss as a cheap act..

"You really are something. Aren't you? Guys should learn how to treat a girl from you." She countered calmly. --- I agree to Khushi!

"I agree. They should learn to speak honestly. I kissed you because I wanted to. Now it's your turn." - Ok, he amended by admitting he wanted, but still the earlier question sounded bit off to me! Since the kiss is taken as an act of lust instead of love from the current perspective of Khushi.

"You made a fool of me once, Arnav. I have no intent to take the same path all over again," she spoke with a finality that drove the last nail into the coffin. --- Hugs Khushi! Am really really glad she told him that, it will make her feel vulnerable but she admitted that she doesn't want that kind of pain again hence she is running away. There is no more words or actions which could explain better her feelings..

He thought he saw tears but it could be tricky reflection of the high intensity light in the green house. He thought he saw a longing in her eyes but it could be his mind playing havoc with his senses. He wanted to touch her, kiss her, consume her but he knew she would fight him every step of the way. --- Yes, to gain her trust again is a tough tough battle.. A shattered trust is not easy to build back..

"Bye," She opened the door to leave.

She didn't stop. She didn't turn. She walked away slowly but surely.--- Am proud of you Khushi Kumari Gupta!

You can try pretending that this doesn't matter, Khushi Gupta.

I'm Arnav Singh Raizada.

And I never give up. ---- You can try Arnav Singh Raizada! I am sure you will win in the end, since this is fan fiction and people love Arnav-Khushi to be together. ;-) But in real, if you two were real people, I wonder how long it would take you to change to a better man who is really worthy of khushi.

Do comment if you can spare a few minutes and no I don't cut and paste my note. (Means what?)

I'm just not as interesting as a couple of writers out there who churn up fantastic notes. (LOL!)

Please don't feel obligated to leave only praise.--- Never! But deserving praises should be delivered right? J

Intense chapter...the beginning was super...khushi's feelings...she want to be truthful to herself about her feelings towards Arnav...she is worried about payal...Arnav loves her so much...he has insecurities of losing her...may be jealousy is playing a role here...after knowing about Sanjeev in khushi's life...he knew that he cannot keep quiet...he might have said to khushi to move on...but he is now determined to get her back...lets see how is he going to achieve that...thanks for the PM