Chapter 5
September 13, 2004
"Hi dad. How come you are here?" I asked as he sat down next to me.
"Well son, I was going home and I knew that you would be here." he told me shifting on the rock to make him self comfortable.
"How did you know I was here?" I asked trying to figure why he was here if he was going home.
"You see the thing is I didn't feel like staying in office today so I called home to see if you were there. You know after her death I don't like being home alone. I hate the quite and lonely environment. Any ways so when I called home Mrs. D'suza said that you haven't come home yet, and since I know that ocean shore is your favorite place I knew I would find you here." he explained slowly
We sat at the ocean shore for almost half an hour. We were sitting quietly and looking at the waves as they came and left the shore. I knew he was thinking about kripa after all she was his daughter. I knew he missed her more then any of us. She was his only support but now we were each other's support. I wanted to talk to him joining him at the office but I knew he won't let me. I had to try any ways. I wanted to finish college but I also wanted to work I wanted to take my mind off her death.
Finally he turned and looked at me. He was waiting for me to turn and look at him when I didn't he put his hand on my arm and turned me. I was facing him but still didn't talk. He knew something was bothering me and it wasn't kripa's death. It was something else.
"Angad, what's wrong?" he asked worried.
"Nothing dad. I just miss her that's all." I explained.
"Angad you know that you can't lie to me. She wasn't able to either. Nothing stays hidden from the parents angad. You should know that." He told me.
"I know dad. I know." I told him this time smiling a little as I remembered the day kripa told him about us.
"Dad?" kripa asked opening the door to his room.
"Yes beta?" he said looking up from his laptop
"Dad can I talk to you for a second?" she asked moving into his room
"Sure hon. Sit down. Come on." He said putting his hand on the bed.
Kripa moved to sit down next to him. She was trying to figure out how to tell him that she was in love. She opened her mouth and tried to talk, but nothing came out. She felt as if some one was holding on to her voice box to make her stop talking. She tried again and again but nothing helped. Now he began to look at kripa with suspicious eyes. He took his glasses off and put the laptop away. He cleared his throat which startled kripa. She looked at her father with fear in her eyes and looked down immediately as she saw the suspicion in his eyes. Mr. Sharma smiled looking at his daughter. Clearing his throat again he began to speak.
"Who is it kripa?" he asked
"Who dad?" kripa asked when she didn't understand what her father was asking
"Who is the guy? What's his name?" he asked her again smiling
She looked up immediately and was trying to figure out how her father knew. When Raj saw her scared and shocked face he started laughing. Kripa was even more shocked as she saw her father laughing. Raj sharma stopped laughing and asked again in stern voice.
"Kripa I am asking you something. What is his name." he asked sitting straight
"His name is …his name is…" kripa stuttered
"I got that part you can move on now honey." He told her quite annoyed now at her behavior. Why was she scared he wondered.
"Daddy his name is Angad. Angad Khanna. He goes to our college. I met him three years back. He wants to become a lawyer and I love him daddy." She said as quickly as she can.
Raj smiled at his daughter and looked at her with his arms open. Kripa saw the happiness on her father's face and quickly moved forward to hug him. Raj smiled widely as he rubbed his daughter's back.
"Oh daddy, thank you. Thank you so much." Kripa said smiling and jumping on the bed.
"Uh-uh kripa. I haven't said yes yet. I have to meet the boy before I say yes. So call him over for lunch tomorrow. He has to pass my interview before he can marry you sweetheart." Raj explained to his daughter
"I know he will pass the test dad he loves me too much to fail." Kripa said getting up from the bed and walking towards the door. Raj's eye followed his daughter till the door. Before leaving the room kripa turned around and smiled at her father.
"And, I also know that you will say yes to him." she said with confidence in her eyes and in her words.
"Don't be over confidence hon." He told his daughter
"I am not dad. I just believe in you and in him." she smiled again and left the room before he can say anything more. Raj smiled to himself and shacked his head side ways. He moved to the big picture in his room. He touched the picture with his hands and closed his eyes.
"Our daughter is all grown up Smita." He spoke looking at the picture moving his hand on the photo. "You left me when she was young and now she will leave me when I am getting old. You always said that daughters are someone else's treasure. I'll will all alone again and this time won't have any reason to stay in this world for longer period. I'll come to you as soon as she is married and happy in her life." He continued
"Daddy, don't you ever say that again. I am not going any where. If I get married to Angad he will have to move in here with us. I wont leave you even if I do get married." Saying this kripa hugged her father and Raj laugh at her comment.
"Sweetheart, daughters are meant to leave their parents house when they get married. Don't worry I wont go to your mom until I see my grand kids." He said smiling
"I don't care. I am still not moving out if I get married and you are not leaving me even if you do see your grandkids." She blushed as she said the last sentence.
Raj smiled and hugged kripa. Kripa quickly wiped the tears away before they fell from her eyes. Kripa broke the hug as her phone started to ring. Kripa excused her self and went to attend her call. Raj smiled and knew that it was Angad's phone.
"Hello?" kripa whispered as she moved out of Raj's room.
"Hello madam. So how did it go with dad?" I asked her from the other side of the line.
"Not good. Not good at all angad," kripa lied
"Are you serious?" I asked quite scared to hear what happened.
"Yes angad. He wants to meet you. He never wanted to meet any of my previous boyfriends. I don't know why he wants to meet you." Kripa said trying to keep her self from laughing.
"Kripa don't lie to me. I know I am your first and last boyfriend. So don't try to make me feel jealous." I told her
"Well are you?" kripa asked
"Am I what?" I asked not wanting to answer her question
"Are you jealous angad?" kripa asked the whole question sensing that he was avoiding answering her question
"Yes, I am. I get jealous when you talk about any one else but me. I hate it when you talk about other men when I am around. I even hate it if someone else looks at you. I will break all the mirrors in the world so no one can see how beautiful you are. From now on my eyes will be your mirror." I told her controlling his anger.
Kripa laughed as she heard the anger in his voice. "Ok. Ok. You don't have to break the entire mirror and get 7years of bad luck. You could have told me nicely and I would have agreed. No matter how many mirrors tell me that I am beautiful it wont mean anything unless you are not looking back at me through that mirror." Kripa said slowly
I smiled and asked what happened with dad. Kripa told me to come to her house for lunch tomorrow. As I heard that Mr. Sharma was going to take my interview many thoughts ran in my head. I started worrying what if I failed. Will Mr. Sharma still agree for the marriage?
The very next day I got to the Sharma residence around 12. I rang the door bell and a servant came to open the door. He showed me my way to the living room.
"Please have a seat sir. Mr. Sharma will be right down. Would you like anything to drink sir?" the servant asked as I took my seat on the black leather sofa. The leather felt really smooth when I ran my hands on the hand rest.
"Water would be fine thank you." I answer when I saw that the servant was still standing there. The servant left towards the kitchen and I looked around the living room. It was bigger then my whole apartment. I saw black color plasma screen TV. The coffee table in the center was quite big and mad out of glass. On the middle of the table there was a big crystal vase with different flowers in it. The side tables next to the sofas were also made out of glass. I saw picture of kripa alone, with her father and mother, also some pictures from her childhood. I got up and moved toward one of the picture that was on top of the big fire place on the east side of the room. I saw kripa about three months old in arms of her mother and her father standing next to her mom smiling the biggest smile he can. I felt the happiness Mr. Sharma was feeling at that moment. A smiled formed on my lips. I was startled when the servant knocked on my shoulder and gave me the glass of water. I took the glass and drank half of it without taking a breath. I placed the glass back on the tray and continued looking around the room. I was startled again when I heard a strong, confident male voice calling my name.
"Angad" Mr. Sharma asked coming down the stairs and behind him was the beautiful looking kripa. She was simple salwar suit but yet she looked beautiful. She had very light makeup on and shining lip-gloss. Now on the other hand Mr. Sharma wore casual blue shirt with a light blue tie along with dress pants. He walked down the stairs gracefully. He came towards me and shook hands with me. They moved towards the sofa and took their seats. Kripa sat next to her father and I sat on the single chair across from the sofa. Mr. Sharma called one of his servants and told him to set the table for lunch. The servant gave him a nod and left to follow his orders. Mr. Sharma took few minutes and observed me. He saw that I was dressed properly. He also saw the nervous look on my face and smiled to him self. He remembered the day when he had met Smita's parents. Before Mr. Sharma can ask questions to me the servant came and told them that the table was set for lunch.
"Sir the lunch is ready." Servant announced.
"We will be right there Chandu kaka." Mr. Sharma told the old man. I was amazed to see that Mr. Sharma had respect for his servants other rich people did not. They thought of their servants as their properties.
"Daddy I am hungry. can we talk while having lunch. I know you must be as well." Kripa said to her father rising from the sofa.
She walked towards the lunch table and we followed her. The lunch smelled delicious. There were about 15 dishes for lunch. Pretty big lunch I thought. There were three kinds of soup plain tomato, tomato with cream and the last one was the one with crumbs. I figured the plain soup was for me since the servants didn't know how I liked my soup. The subjis smelled excellent as the servants were bringing out the bowls. There was paneer tikka masala, palak paneer, malai kofta, and chicken tikka masala. Then they brought hot and fresh rotis. Two people were started serving the food when a woman came out with more fresh rotis.
"How would you like your soup sir?" one of the servant asked me.
"Crumbs and cream would be great thank you." I answered and the servant made my soup to my liking.
"So angad, who is in your family?" Mr. Sharma inquired drinking his soup. Kripa quietly sipped hers as well. I noticed she wasn't looking at me or at her father. I sensed she was nervous as well. I smiled and answered the question.
"Well, sir my parents passed away in an accident when I was 10. After them my grandfather is took care of me. Now I am taking care of him. We have a family business. My grand father takes care of it right now and I will follow in his footsteps once college is over." I replied to him keeping calm
"No you won't. You will become the best lawyer in town. I think some one else can manage taking over the business after your grandfather Angad." Kripa said something for the first time after they have started eating their lunch
"Kripa, it's not your business to speak in dear. It's angad's decision. He should choose what he wants to do after college. You shouldn't interfere." Mr. Sharma told kripa in harsh voice
"No it's quite all right sir. If she is to become my life partner she has all the right to advice me on things. After all what I do in future is going to affect her as well." I told Mr. Sharma defending his love
"Advice angad not order. I wouldn't have minded if she advised you but she ordered you and that was wrong." Mr. Sharma said slightly smiling
We continued eating lunch and Mr. Sharma asked me about how I was planning on handling the business and be a lawyer at the same time. We continued talking about general things. After lunch we moved back to the living room and servants brought out fruit plates. We shared light conversations about things. Mr. Sharma inquired more about who I wanted to work with and other things. Three hours passed since I had arrived and I got up to leave.
"I think I should get going sir." I said getting up from the chair
"Well son thank you for coming over and having lunch with us. You know why I called you over for lunch right?" Mr. Sharma told and asked him at the same time. I just stood there and nodded. Kripa was clutching on to her father's shirt sleeve. Raj sensed that she was nervous to hear what he was going to say. He smiled to him self and then continued.
"Someday you would make a great husband angad. I trusted my daughter's choice all along, but just wanted to meet you and that's why I called you over for lunch. I would like to meet your grandfather to finalize the date of your engagement and wedding with my daughter. I would get your number from kripa and talk to him personally. I know that I wouldn't find a better guy for my daughter even if I search the whole world. Welcome to the Family son." Mr. Sharma said to me and opened his arms for a hug.
Kripa squealed in happiness. She hugged her father before I can and kissed his cheek. She moves away and let me preside to the hug. I moved forward and hugged Raj.
"Thank you sir." I said smiling widely
"Uh-uh you can call me dad from now on angad." Mr. Sharma corrected angad and hugged both kripa and angad. Angad winked at kripa and made her blushed. I stopped smiling when dad shake me out of the thought. He was looking at me and he was trying to figure out why I was smiling. Before he could ask me I told him.
"I was thinking about the first day I came over for lunch and how you said yes for our marriage." I said sulking. Dad nodded smiling as he remembered the memory as well. Suddenly I hugged him and started crying. He rubbed my back and consoled me.
"Why did she hide the truth dad? Why? I miss her so much. Why does it always happen to me? Why does god take away everyone I love?" I asked crying
"Does he hate me so much that he loves to see me suffer? First he took mom n dad then grandpa and now kripa is also gone. Then someday when I would learn to live my like without her on your support he would take you away as well. I hate him dad. I hate him." I continued still crying
Dad pulled me away and wiped my tears. He smiled weakly at me. He wiped away his own tears and tried to answer my questions.
"He doesn't hate you angad. If that's so then he hates me too. He took my wife and my daughter. It's not about hate angad. He just wants us to learn to live independently and he doesn't want nice people to see the bad face of this world that's why he take them away. When Smita died I was depressed I was lost in my own world. At that time I didn't care about my three year old daughter I worked and worked until I was tired. Then I realized that I am not only hurting my self but I am also hurting the people I love. I don't want you to leave college angad." He said stopping the tears from falling
"Yes naina told me everything when I called her to ask if you were at college. Angad you have your whole life ahead of you. You have to move on. You see the ocean angad. Once you get lost in it you can hardly find your way out. I found my way out angad now it's your turn. I am not telling you to forget your love. I am not telling you to forget your wife angad but I am telling you to remember her. I want you to remember the good times you have spent with her. Those times will help you over come the bad times angad. She never left you son. She is here with us listening to our conversation the only deference is that she is listening to them while sitting in heaven." Dad said trying to make me understand
"Dad I can't move on. I don't know how to dad. I don't think I can ever move on." I told him
"Then let us help you angad. I loved my daughter a lot, but I know you loved her more then I did. We want to help you angad. Please we want you to help your self. Just remember that she will never leave once you keep her alive in your heart and in your memories." He told me getting up from the rock. He started climbing down the rock and started walking towards the car. He stopped and turned back to see if I was going or not. I climbed down and walk toward him. We drove back home without talking. I walked to my room as soon as the door opened. Dad didn't stop me he knew I needed to stay alone for some time.
(Guys I want you to read this part while listening to the song Bheegi Bheegi from gangster here is the link
http://www.raaga.com/channels/hindi/movie/H001041.html after you click here click on teh song Bheegi Bheegi)
I walked to her room instead of mine. With trembling hands and tears in my eyes I opened the door to her room for the first time after she passed away. Her room was dark and quite. I could smell her perfume. I didn't open the curtains or t turned the lights on. I can see her laughing at a joke I told her as she sat on the bed with me. I saw her cry as she sat in a chair because we had an argument. I saw my self coming to her holding my ears and making her smile. I saw my self taking her in my arms and twirling her around when she didn't smile after the fight. I looked around her room. I saw her looking out the window and at the moon when she missed me more then usual. There were picture of her with Naina, Amar and also with me. There were pictures from our college dance. Our first dance as a couple.
There were dim lights in the room. Kripa was wearing light pink dress that was up to her knees. I was wearing black tuxedo with pink shirt to match with her. We moved towards one another. I took her hand in mine and kissed it gently. She looked down blushing. I gently pulled her towards me and hugged her. I wiped away the tear that fell from her eye as I rocked her in my arms. I lowered my face and whispered in her ears.
"I am sorry. I didn't mean to fight." I said to her holding my ear with one hand. She smiled at me and kissed my cheek. I figured that she has forgiven me. We began to dance as the slow soft music began to play. I twirled her around. We felt as if we were the only people alive in the world and living happily with each other.
Today was the anniversary of our dance but instead of going to the dance I sat on the rocking chair holding one of her picture. Tears streamed down my cheek as I remembered her. I rocked my self in the chair trying to fall a sleep. It was no use only her thought ran through my head. Then I was a white light making my eyes squint. I was standing there in front of me. I got up from the chair and took her in my arms. I saw her smiling face. My feet slowly moved left and then right. I twirled her around and again I felt alive. I was dead after she has left this world. I stopped moving when I heard something break. It was her picture that fell from my hand. I realized that I was standing alone in the room without her. I bend down and picked up the broken glass pieces. Those pieces were the symbol of my broken life after she passed away. I picked up the broken frame and sat down on the chair again crying.
I opened the door slowly not wanting to wake her up, but I also knew that she won't be sleeping. I walked towards her bed. The room was dark and it had the hospital smell. I hated that smell since I came here to meet my parents for the last time. I didn't want to lose kripa here as well. I slowly walked to her bed. She moved and I stopped moving.
"angad." she said weakly and opening her eyes a little
"Yes kripa I am here." I told her moving towards her bed. I sat down next to her and took her hand in mine. I rubbed it slowly and tried to keep the tears from falling. I smiled at her and moved closer to seat on her bed. I caressed her hair and she smiled weakly at me.
"I am dying angad." Kripa said slowly she shocked me when she said those words I bent down and kissed her forehead this time I wasn't able to keep the tears from falling. She cried as well. I slept on her bed and curled next to her keeping her in my arms. I wanted to keep there forever. I knew nothing was going to happen to her. We didn't talk for a while then she talked in a whisper.
"I am sorry about our baby angad. It's all my fault. I should have taken more precaution. I am sorry." She said crying a little harder and clutching to my shirt.
"Hey, it's not your fault. I don't blame you for anything. I care about you too much. We can always try for another baby, but I know one thing I wont have ever have another kripa." I said trying to lighten the mood.
Then all of a sudden she started breathing hard. Her heart rates started to drop fast. She was holding me more tightly now. I got up from the bed to call a doctor but she held me back.
"Angad, stay here please. Please," kripa said breathing harder and harder each passing moment.
"Kripa I need to call a doctor for you." I said getting up from the bed and leaving toward the door. I screamed for doctor. The whole staff came quickly and started examine her. I stood next to her while they continued the examination. The doctor put oxygen mask on her mouth to help her breath. She started relaxing a little. She took off the mask and tried to talk.
"Angad I love you. I will always love you and please don't mad at me for leaving angad. Always remember that I will be around you no matter where you go." She said starting to breath harder now. I tried to put the mask back on but she didn't let me and then slowly the heart rate stopped and the machine went blank. Doctors said sorry to me and left the room. I stood there like a statue not wanting to believe what has just happened.
"kripa." I said moving her slightly but there was no answer. I didn't want to believe so I asked again.
"Kripa. Kripa honey, stop playing the game. Please talk to me jaan. I promise ill never fight with you. I promise ill do what ever you want me to jaan. Please wake up. Please talk to me." I said slowly breaking down as each moment passed. "KRIPA!!!" I said wiping the sweat from my face and breathing heavily. I looked around and I was still sitting in kripa's room.
Edited by zarna - 19 years ago
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