The Kampilya ... I loved that whole idea of blue within black with its origin from flames. The naming is catchy as well as the whole backdrop surreal and enticing. For that matter even H360, krishnakali, the cover picture and the poem you've mentioned in the first post,the names of different characters and their professions.👏👏
The swaymvar was a smart set up in view of modern day situations yet had an old charm. Actually I loved your brilliance on the whole concept and its context... Though you've built it as a whole modern day scenario it still gives a feel of an era gone by ... they're all very urban yet while reading I feel transported to some place where nobles existed... there's this feeling of being at point where the slow motion of the story exudes on you to be there and everywhere at the same time. Are you getting what I'm trying to say or is it all a jumble the way my thoughts are at present????
Loved certain lines used, which later on got their full meaning in fulfillment or else in contrast - "Didn't need my words to speak to me. See without seeing and touch without even wanting to..." the ones on secrets, and the one with Shyama being his sakhi or his favourite cousin's wife.
Excellent description of nature of each character by the body language they exhibit... Suyodh's hand clasp speaking of his desire for more or being impulsive, Aditya's calculating eyes speaking of his need for exile from own set demons.👍🏼 👏
The part I loved the most and one which pulled me in completely was Meghdoot...❤️ From the start with the restaurant setting and the menu, it was excellent beautiful writing. 👏👏 The krishnakali and the revelation of her blue with association by Tagore's poem were so detailed writing with subtle hints and showed your eye for minute detailing. I loved how Vishwa is shown here by you... she trusts him and confides him without need for words between them, yet in her partner she seeks his shadow but accepts the one who's is alike yet different from Vishwa. As in with Vishwa she doesn't need her words to be the ones spoken between them and he knows it all , but with Arjun she wants to know it all without giving into her secrets but wanting to know all of his; there's no newness between Vishwa and Shyama as there's nothing hidden from him and yet their bond is unique and strong in its own way, while Arjun and Shyama have everything hidden in darkness as strangers are to be yet the unknown seems to excite her; Vishwa can't be her partner now as he can't meet her need to be his sole focus, while Arjun has it in built in his nature to be the one with single focus who can give her his centre allowing her to melt away all his world enhancing his senses thereby fulfilling each other in the emptiness of their own natures. And this all was well tied up by you with Vishwa describing their first meet which was somewhat similar to her first meeting with Arjun... You did show the end of their chapter so a new chapter of Arjun-Shyama could begin but even emphasised on both Arjun and Vishwa being two aspects of the same persona, in different moulds. And the end promise was so precisely shown of things to come ahead... Of giving away Shyama to his cousin (a formless of shadow of his own) yet in a way being the one to take her home. I seriously just loved this whole chapter in all the 10 parts read so far.
The songs incorporated in between scenes were like an additional finishing to the play of emotions going on. The febicole ad was another great idea to be brought in keeping with Arjun's innate nature. The mention of the Mumbai night life as well as the lifeline of Mumbai travelling with their reactions to it made it more real. I liked the emphasis given on their names to each other, the openness of Arjun towards Shyama , as well as all the intellectual and illusion arguments between these two...
I better stop now or you will get bored of my lengthy monologue on description of your own writing. Going now to read the remaining 10 parts updated so as to continue the walk in this labyrinth...
Will comeback and comment again on the remaining parts... but now I'm hooked to this FF and you will see me here often to keep bugging you with my words 😉😆
Mannat Har Khushi Paane Ki
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