Arhi FF: Labyrinth - Thread 2 Link posted

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Nutcase

@dreamymaya

Voyager

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

#231

Just read the last two updates. Interesting and I should say the raw edge of this story is what gives it a refreshingly fresh feel and aura and which keeps the reader hooked. I am tuned in for more of the volley of conversation between Arjun and Shyama

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-Mitra

@-Mitra

Navigator

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#232

Originally posted by: dreamymaya
I should say the raw edge of this story...

Raw edge? Care to explain? Perhaps with an example?

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mklam

@mklam

Explorer

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

#233

Arjuna's famous line, the the secret of his success.."I can see only the eye of the bird" . I loved your description which highlights this principle and like Shyama I too am fixated over his words - We all need that single-minded focus to achieve our goals and Arjuna is a great example for concentration and perseverence.
We get a clearer picture of the family history and what makes Arnav stand out - the ivy league education, commitment to familia, good looks (am partial to Hrithik Roshan so will visualize him in Arnav's role)
I sense your reluctance for not wanting the night to end..

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-Mitra

@-Mitra

Navigator

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#234

Originally posted by: mklam
Arjuna's famous line, the the secret of his success.."I can see only the eye of the bird" . I loved your description which highlights this principle and like Shyama I too am fixated over his words - We all need that single-minded focus to achieve our goals and Arjuna is a great example for concentration and perseverence.
We get a clearer picture of the family history and what makes Arnav stand out - the ivy league education, commitment to familia, good looks (am partial to Hrithik Roshan so will visualize him in Arnav's role)
I sense your reluctance for not wanting the night to end..

Indeed! Arjun is nothing, if not for his perseverance, thence it will be affirmed throughout the story.

Not ending this night...Argh! I know.

In the first draft, I had written for Dhri to give her the juicy details about Arjun after he drops her off at home. But somehow, in this time and age, a woman falling for a man only after the first meeting, that too only after speaking with him for an hour or so, didn't seem credulous. So, to make it impactful, I'm having Arjun speak for himself, as humbly as possible ;) Arjun was proud at heart, remember?

I'm going to need one more update to cover exposition; rest as it comes...

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J P

@TwilightStar_JP

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#235

Taken

*edited&

First things first! Your story is so damn intriguing, now you may say what the? But like I mentioned before if you do not know the epic completely most of the read in between the lines would be missed for example the brothers their profession their actual characters!!

And these two about how they live at the edge of falling in love with the other! Mostly khushi since arjuns pov about her hasn't come up yet!

His laurels, achievements, passions etc everything I can relate to both epic and the actual ipk story!

Marvelous as usual!

I'm not going to give a face to vishwa because I feel none would fit perfect! he's this lord kind of aura emitting personality!

Cheers

Edited by TwilightStar_JP - 11 years ago

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SIMI

@dieforasr

Rocker

+ 7

Posted: 11 years ago

#236

""You American bred ones certainly need one..." I said before picking up a few peanuts off his palm for myself. "

I think I don't need to mention why I have posted these lines..😉 Just loved it..

Edited by dieforasr - 11 years ago

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Raila1014

@Raila1014

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

#237

How can one not fall for this guy? He's good looking, got a way with words (I held my breath while reading that description of his passion for archery), raised by a single mum (not a mama's boy but someone who can appreciate a woman), smart, good looking,. . . This night does not feel like never ending to me, it is a night of discoveries and them getting closer to each other. Love it!

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chavvi16

@chavvi16

Stunner

Posted: 11 years ago

#238

dont want the night to end
and their journey to end either

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Jay

@jduke

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#239

As usual super update. Arjun learn some manners and offer some boiled peanuts to Shyama :). Wow he is so talented. Their journey is very interesting.

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Kishmish

@Kishmish

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#240

Wow ... he had me as mesmerised as her

"Every time I hold the bow in my hands," "the world falls from my vision, blocks of it melting like its only ice. Then a stupor begins, I dream of only the center, the mark and all that holds to fall prey. In this fragmented world, I'm whole again. There is only one will that courses through my arms and my meditation begins. The nock leaves my fingers and I go over the edge, fall with the arrow as it pierces through the air. I wake up when the dream disperses, my pursuit having culminated." 😳

That was beautifully written ...

Arjun ... the self made man ... plays an important role in keeping his family together ...

Loved the way they are slowly but surely getting to know each other ...

Like all the other readers I too want this night to go on and on ...

Just love the songs selection ...

Thanks ... can visualise Amir Khan as Vishwa :)

and love the pictures ...