PART 15:
Wajood mera hai tere dum se
jagamagati mahfil tum se
Meri manzil tera saath hai bus
kabhi milao kadam kadam se
Riddhima's birthday party lasted till late in the night. After everyone left, Armaan offered to drop Riddhima, "Chal.main tujhey drop kar deta hoon.aur tera birthday gift bhi de deta hoon."
Riddhima smiled and followed him to his car.
They drove around the city and finally Armaan parked the car outside the famous Rang Mahal in Patiala. They stepped out and found a bench nearby. It was a warm summer evening, but pleasant for outdoors at this time of the night. The palace gates were closed, but the beautiful romantic Rang Mahal glowed in the moonlight.
"Achha bolkya chaahiye mujhsey?" Armaan sat next to her on the bench and inhaled the fragrance of the flowers in the air, "mmm.kya khushboo hai!"
"Armaan..Armaan," Riddhima said shyly, looking away, "main.mainmain," she hesitated
"Ab bol bhi! Yeh bakri ki tarah main main kya kar rahi hai? Tajmahal ke siwa kuch bhi maang le..main Bunty nahin hoon jo Taj Mahal chura kar le aaoonga tere liye," he chuckled.
Riddhima laughed a little, "tum bhi na.kabhie tho serious ho jaaya karo."
"Armaanwo.wo.TUM MUJHSEY SHAADI KAROGE?" She shut her eyes and stiffened up from embarrassment, but she could not resist herself tonight. That nagging question had been gnawing her constantly over the last few days, especially now that he would be leaving for the US soon.
Armaan was stunned. The color drained from his face; he could not believe what he had just heard.
"Kya kaha tuney?" he finally spoke.
Riddhima's heart was beating rapidly in her chest; she could not face his gaze at this moment. She turned away and blushed profusely, in anticipation of his answer. How would she react when he would grab her in his arms and say YES?
Instead, Armaan turned red with anger; he got up and clenched his fists, "Tum ladkiyon ki yehi problem hoti hai! College mein admission mila nahin, aur shaadi ke khwab pehle lene lagi! Riddhima.tu ab 18 ki hai.koi 8 saal ki bachhi nahin! Shaadi koi guddi gudiya ka khel nahin hai Riddhimait's serious business.abhi teri umar hi kya hai? Aur tuney soch kaise liya ki main tujhse shaadi karna chaahta hoon? Main shaadi ka faisla jald baazi mein nahin karoongamain tho 4-5 saal tak soch bhi nahin sakta! Yeh khayal nikaal de apne dil se!"
Riddhima was stunned, heartbroken, shocked, humiliated, and embarrassed.
She closed her eyes as her tears flowed from her eyes, "Armaanyehyeh maine bahut soch samajh kar sawaal kiya hai.koi bachpana nahin hai."
Armaan grabbed her shoulders, "bachpana hi hai.jaise tumhari wo gudde gudiya ki kahani hoti hai na..tera dimaag kharaab ho gaya hai! Shayad Padma kaaki ke guzar jaane se tu bahut insecure feel kar rahi hai..iss liye aise khayal aa rahe hain.itni jaldi hai shaadi ki tho dhoond le kisi ko.koi Prem ya Rahul jaisa aashiq tujhey bhi mil jaayega jo 19-20 saal mein shaadi karna chaahta ho!"
Riddhima shrugged her shoulders away from his grip and sobbed; the pain in her heart reflected in her voice, "bachpana haitho uss din wo outhouse mein kya tha? Wo koi bachhon ka khel nahin tha Armaan."
Armaan's nostrils flared in anger, "wo bhang thi.aur kuch nahin! Main tujh se pehle hi maafi maang chukaa hoon uss din ki..koi bhi khubsoorat ladki aati mere saamne tho shayad wo hi hota."
Riddhima had never felt so low, so humiliated in her life, not even Naina's abuses made her feel this way, "auraur wo cycle ka tire jab badal rahe the?" she hiccoughed.
"Riddhima.tu bhi na..18 ki ho gayi par abhi bhi 19 th century mein rehti hai..ho jaata hai kabhie kabhie.aakhir hum dono abhi jawan hain.hamari umar mein physical attraction ho jaata hai..aur tu aur main bachpan se saath rahe hain..tho aisa ho jaata hai kabhie kabhie," he became a little softer and felt bad as she was sobbing hysterically.
"Armaan.kya main tumhare liye sirf ek khubsoorat ladki hoon?" the hurt was evident in her eyes.
"Uffo Riddhima! Tum ladkiyan bhi na! Itni senti ho jaati ho!" Armaan sounded frustrated now.
"Tumhare liye jo sirf physical attraction hai.wo mere liye zindagi bhar ki puja hai..maine hamesha apne aap ko tumhara hi samjha hai Armaan.tumhari amaanat hi samjha hai..koi physical attraction nahin," she covered her mouth to suppress her sobs. She could not believe that her best friend, the man who she depended on for everything, the man who was supposed to be her knight in shining armor, could be so insensitive, so ruthless, and so callous about their relationship. Did he not understand her feelings? How dare he call their relationship just a mere physical attraction- he was not only insulting her, but also insulting their beautiful relationship?
Armaan shook his head, "tu koi car ya khilona hai jo main tujhey apni amaanat samjhoon? Riddhima..tu bahut na samajh hai..you need to grow upchal ghar chalte hain..kuch din mein tujhey khud samajh aa jaayega ki main kya keh raha hoon."
"Armaan.jo baat mujhey 18 saal mein samajh nahin aayi, wo ab kya aayegi?" she said sarcastically.
"Riddhima," he put his arm around her gently, "you are being very emotional Riddhima.apne aap par kaaboo rakh."
Riddhima took a deep breath and wiped her tears, "Koi baat nahin Armaan.tum theek kehte hoyeh mera hi bachpana hai.chalo ghar chalte hain.'
Armaan looked at her sad face; he hated tears in her eyes, "achha chalne se pehle apna birthday gift tho maang le."
Riddhima smiled sardonically, "tumne sab kuch tho de diya.ab aur kya chaahiye?"
Armaan rolled his eyes, "Riddhima please! Ab yeh rona dhona bandh karhum ache dost hain aur hamesha rahenge..teri jagah meri zindagi mein koi nahin le sakta..chal ab mujhey achhi si smile de deapni birthday ke din tho kam se kam mat ro..hamesha main hi kyun rulaata hoon tujhey?" He tried his best to comfort her.
Riddhima walked ahead and said, "shayad jo sabse zyaada khushi deta hai, wo hi sabse zyaada aansoo bhi deta hai."
Armaan felt guilty and just followed her to the car.
As they were driving, an awkward silence stood like a wall between the two. Riddhima looked out of the window; she would never forget her 18th birthday, the day when she bared her heart completely to the man she had always loved and worshiped, the day when he shattered her heart into a million pieces.the day he trivialized the meaning of her life and her dedication to him in a span of five minutes so heartlessly.
Even Padma's death had not made her feel so emotionally parched; as Armaan's hurtful words did tonight. She was used to his offensive tongue; she had been a prime target since she could remember, but she had always accepted his razor sharp words with open arms as she considered herself to be a part of him, but tonight Armaan had rudely isolated her from his life. Had she had lived a life of illusion all these years?
Finally, they arrived home. Armaan grabbed her wrist as she got off, "please Riddhima.don't cry..ro mat..tere aansoo mujh se dekhe nahin jaate."
Riddhima looked at him, "Armaan.aansoo dena jaante ho tho unhey sehna bhi seekh lo," she pulled her wrist away and shut the car door.
Armaan watched her walk back to her house. He got off with a heavy heart and sighed, "samajh jaayegi.kuch din mein samajh jaayegi..par aaj ke din hi kyun hona tha yeh sab? Uske janam din par hi kyun hua yeh sab?" he kicked the tire of his car and shut the door of his car loudly. He looked up, hoping to see Riddhima respond to the noise, but she did not stop and was home after her memorable celebration.
That night was the longest night in the lives of both Armaan and Riddhima.
Armaan made several trips to the balcony and paced up and down all night. He was upset with himself for making Riddhima cry, but more upset with Riddhima for having such thoughts and expectations from him, "kya wo itne din se sirf mujh se shaadi ke baare mein hi soch rahi thi? Kaash main uske kareeb na gaya hota! Kya aisa ho sakta hai ki ek din main sach much Riddhima se hi shaadi karoon?" he grinned as a warm feeling filled his heart at that thought, but then he took a deep breath, "pata nahin.meri biwi Riddhima jaisi nahin, balki koi badhe sheher waali smart ladki hogikoi professional..koi smart ladki jo apna dhyan khud rakh sakey..independent ladki..Riddhima ki tho har baat ka dhyaan mujhey hi rakhna padhta hai..galti meri hi hai jo maine usey itna dependent banaa diya.usey mere alaawa kuch nazar hi nahin aata.I am glad I am going to the US..mujhse kuch din alag rahegi tho achha hoga."
(Yes.Armaan is one confused guy.when he was with Suhani, he told her I prefer desi kulfi to icecream! I guess he does not like Suhani as she is his mom's choice, and he does not want to marry Riddhima as she wants to marry him..kab akal aayegi iss ladke ko????)
Riddhima hid herself in her room all night. She sat on her bed with her knees crawled to her chin. She cried till her eyes were dry. She did not mention anything to Shashank, nor call Muskaan to confide her sorrow. Armaan's heartless words pierced her like a dagger all night. She got up and took out old photographs of her and Armaan. She caressed his face and remembered all the good times they had shared growing up. There were several photographs of their birthday parties as Armaan's birthday was a day after hers. Padma always celebrated Riddhima's birthday the following day, as she wanted Armaan to feel more special on his day. Riddhima never cared, as long as she could be a part of his celebration. Padma always baked cake for Armaan, and sent it to him first thing on his birthday morning.
She suddenly remembered and looked at the wall clock- it was 2 in the morning- it was Armaan's 22 nd birthday. Riddhima wiped her tears and thought, "shayad Armaan tum theek kehte ho.maine hamari dosti ko shayad dosti se zyaada samajh liyaaakhir tum mere sab se ache dost ho..main apni dosti ka farz hamesha nibhaaoongi," she walked out of her room and went to the kitchen.
'HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARMAAN," she wrote on his favorite chocolate cake after the icing had set in.
It was morning now. Riddhima's eyes were swollen and red, but she walked out with the cake just as Padma did every year. Riddhima had resolved to never go to the Mallik house again, but she had to break her resolve for his birthday.
Riddhima knocked at their door.
'OhRiddhima beti?" Billy opened the door, "Ohhaan aaj hamare puttar ka birthday hai.aao.aaoandar aa jao..Armaan tum logon ki cake ke bina apna birthday nahin manaata."
"Aap de deejiye unclejeemujhey ghar par kaam hai," she said softly and left without waiting for Billy's reply.
Armaan came down after a sleepless night.
"Happy Birthday Armaan puttar!" Billy greeted him, "yeh leteri favorite cake time se aa gayi."
Armaan looked at Billy curiously, "cake? Kaun de gaya hai?"
"Gupta logon ke yahan se aayi haiunke yahan naukar chaakar tho hai nahin..iss liye Riddhima aayi thi dene," Billy
Armaan felt a lump in his throat; he took the cake from Billy and stared at it. It was beautifully decorated, just like kaaki used to do every year. He felt really guilty now, "Riddhima ne raat bhar jag kar mere liye cake banaayi, aur maine usey uski birthday par kuch bhi nahin diya," he rushed out of his door and walked towards Riddhima's house.
"Arre Armaan puttar!" Naina called from behind, "apni maa ka aashirwaad tho le le pehle..jab dekho uss khasmaanu khani ke peeche lagaa rehta hai!" she cursed Riddhima again and gnashed her teeth in anger.
Armaan was used to just barging into the Gupta's house, but this morning, for the first time in his life, he knocked on their door. He felt odd about knocking at the door, but he did not have the courage to just walk in this morning.
'Aao puttar!" Shashank opened the door, "janam din Mubarak ho puttar."
Armaan touched Shashank's feet, "unclejee, Riddhima kahan hai?"
"Shayad mere liye chai banaa rahi hai.aaja puttartub hi pee le chai," Shashank let him in.
Armaan walked into the kitchen and saw her pouring tea in 2 cups, "ek cup mere liye bhi.zyaada cheeni ke saath," he sat down at the kitchen table with the cake in front of him.
Riddhima turned around and saw him at the table; she forced a smile, 'Happy birthday Armaan."
"Aise nahin.mere saath baith kar cake khaani hogi.waise hi jaise Padma kaaki hum dono ki birthday saath manaati thi," Armaan replied.
"Ab jab mummyji hi nahin rahi, tho unke rivaaz bhi nahin rahe Armaan," Riddhima said sadly.
Armaan cut a piece of cake and walked over towards Riddhima, "mooh khol!"
"Nahin Armaanmera mann nahin hai," she turned her face away.
"Theek haiphir yeh cake main bhi nahin khaaoonga," he said firmly
Riddhima looked at him; her eyes glistening with tears again, "harr baat mein zidd kyun karte ho?"
Armaan held her chin with one hand and placed a small piece of the cake in her mouth, "meri birthday par meri marzi chalegi!"
Riddhima chewed on the piece and turned her face away, trying to control her tears.
Armaan held her shoulder, "harr saal ki tarah mujhey nahin khilaaegi?"
She bit her lower lip, and then took the piece in her hand. She fed it to him, just like she had for years. Their eyes met; they were both trying their best to hide their tears, but could not hide the pain in them from each other. Riddhima saw the tears flow from Armaan's eyes- she knew at that moment that Armaan was so clueless about himself, about his feelings, "Armaan mere dil ko hi nahin, shayad apne dil ko bhi nahin pehchaanta," she said to herself as she stared into his eyes. She knew at that moment, that he loved her as much as she did, but was afraid to confess
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