Chapter 37
The first few days passed in various prayers and vrats. Khushi's attendants were mainly women who had been married for some years so they could guide the bride-to-be. These women were not critical of her but nor were they overtly friendly. They treated her with courtesy, leading her to understand that these women were likely to be in the Raizada employ, therefore, they did not want to do anything to antagonise the new Maharani.
But they were kind when they explained things, rituals and such. In a way their polite courtesy helped cement Khushi's backbone further. Amongst strangers she learned to reign in the fear and helplessness that threatened to overcome her at times. After all she had Garima with her. In front of her adoptive mother she could relax. But her relief was short-lived.
A day before her mehendi ceremony, Shashi Gupta and Mamta Raizada came to visit Khushi. As per custom males were not allowed in the cottage and Khushi contented herself with waving at her father from a window. Even that was not allowed but her attendants indulgently turned a blind eye for the new Maharani. After all, they reasoned, there could be no harm in seeing her father and anyway, it was a treat to see the solemn young girl's face wreathed in smiles!
Mamta Raizada came inside to see Khushi who quickly pulled her pallu over her head to touch her mother-in-law's feet.
"Bless you child," Mamta murmured. Drawing Khushi to her feet she studied her. "You look very beautiful in this sari Khushi."
"Shukriya Maharani Saheba."
"Maharani Saheba? What madness is this Khushi? I thought I asked you to call me Maa. But then you call Garimaji Maa. Is that why you are hesitating child?"
"No Maharani Saheba. I mean M-maaji. Forgive me." Khushi blushed and held her breath. She was lost there. How to explain?"
"No need to apologize dear. You can call me whatever you want to."
Mamta smiled and brushed Khushi's apology away although a small frission of disappointment remained somewhere. She had so hoped that her daughter-in-law was getting comfortable with her but ... Mamta sighed and was about to continue when Khushi interrupted her.
She had seen the disappointment in Mamta's eyes. This lady had shown her only kindness since they had met. Was she too timid to return the affectionate gesture? Or was she too scared? Something made her bold enough to ask Mamta.
"Kya hum aapko Maharani Maa bol sakte hai?"
Happiness suffusing her at the child's sweetness, Mamta replied, "Maharani Maa nahi. That is formal. Rani Maa kaisa rahega?"
"Ji. Rani Maa."
Khushi smiled shyly and unable to help herself, Mamta kissed her forehead. And then she teased Khushi.
"To Khushi batao, have you learnt how to wear the sari on your own?" Mamta was well aware that Khushi still had problems managing the sari on her own, courtesy of the attendants!
Khushi squirmed and shook her head negatively. Mamta laughed before telling her not to worry. There were many women in Devgarh Palace to help Khushi every single time!
One of the attendants found Garima and told her that the Maharani was here and wanted to meet her. She hurried out instantly, looking nervous.
"Namaste Maharani Saheba. Kaise aana huwa? Kya baat hai?"
"Garimaji slow down. Sab theek hai. I just wanted to discuss something with you."
Catching the undertones, Khushi excused herself, going back to the garlands she was making for the evening prayer in the mandir. Once Garima and Mamta were alone, Mamta told Garima something, urging her to take a decision. But Garima was unable to take a decision. She didn't want to let her daughter down but Mamta was optimistic. She had observed Khushi well!
One of the attendants ran to fetch Khushi and when Mamta recounted her story and asked her for her decision, Khushi didn't disappoint her. In fact her joyful response was something to see. Her eyes sparkled and she clapped her hands excitedly.
And so it happened that the following day, before her own mehendi ceremony, attired in a blue and purple lehenga, her hair falling in loose curls over her shoulders, Khushi with Mamta, Devyani, Anjali, Prithvi, Thakur Alok and Garima's elderly father witnessed Shashi and Garima's simple wedding ceremony in the mandir.
The reason for the quick wedding was quite simple; Shashi and Garima both wanted to give Khushi away in her wedding. Khushi herself only objected on the simplicity of the wedding ceremony. But being in her thirties, Garima did not feel comfortable with an elaborate ceremony. Straight after the wedding, the ladies came back to the cottage for the mehendi ceremony.
Khushi's clothes, jewelry and the mehendi itself came from Devgarh Palace. Apart from the ladies of the royal household and the attendants, quite a lot of other women came as well. Some of them Khushi recognised as being from other prominent houses of Devgarh. Some others were unfamiliar and these, she learned were close famil members of the Raizada's. Two stern looking women, she was told were Prithvi's sisters. All in all the mix of women was impressive and inwardly shaking with nerves but outwardly holding on to her composure by a mere thread, Khushi greeted each of the women politely and graciously.
And here was her first experience of prejudice. Devyani introduced Khushi to each woman. Some were elderly while others were quite young. They all were expensively dressed and wore their social status just like they wore their khandaani jewelry. A handful of the ladies were kind to her, greeting her with gentle smiles while the majority, while greeting her politely enough said something else with their eyes. Their eyes were openly hostile, their manners verging just on the edge of condescension. But the surprise was from the stern looking sisters of Prithvi. They greeted her genuinely, their stern features relaxing in gentle smiles for her as they remarked on what a very beautiful girl she was; just like a small fairy.
Khushi held on to her composure, calling on the lessons she had received and relying on Devyani's approving smile directed at her whenever the women exhibited surprise on her gracious manner and beautiful looks. Finally the introductions over, Anjali guided her to the flower decorated main room of the cottage, helping her cover her head with the dupatta and starting off the ceremony with the arti. A small group of women had arrived with musical instruments and they took their place in the background, launching in to folk songs shortly. Khushi had a flower festooned seat right in the middle of the room while other women settled around her in a semi-circle. Another group, of artists appeared with the specially prepared mehendi and the ceremony started.
The attendants got to work on her hands and feet, making flowers and vines in long spiralling patterns. They covered her nails as well. The last bit was writing her intended's name amongst the design. Khushi herself, unable to read that well even though Garima had started teaching her, was unaware of this fact until one of the young mehendi artists giggled, telling her to make sure the Maharaja found his name in her mehendi before she allowed him any liberties.
Khushi paled slightly, lowering her head as the other women heard and laughed. She knew that apart from the Raizada's, Shashi and Garima and Thakur Alok, no one else knew the reality. The general story was that the Maharaja had seen and fallen for the niece of Thakur Alok's equestrian and trainer friend, Shashi Gupta while the rumours that floated around of the Maharaja's infatuation with a gypsy girl were ignored. Technically speaking she was not of the upper class, falling somewhere in the middle class but being Shashi's niece, she was completely respectable in everyone' eyes. Many women suspected that she was the gypsy in question but her looks belied her heritage and they did not have the courage to voice their thoughts in front of the ladies of Devgarh. After all the Raizada's were the leading family of Devgarh!!! So they contented themselves with trying to infer something from her manners but Khushi had accepted Mamta's challenge and learned her lessons well!
But the comment on her mehendi brought her unease back and she looked down. Her unease was put down to maidenly shyness and when she didn't even laugh at the comment, the older women nodded approvingly. The girl knew how to behave herself in public, they thought.
When her mehendi was done, she sat quietly, waiting for it to dry off while other women had theirs done. Anjali finished her mehendi and joined Khushi near her seat. Khushi smiled gratefully, glad to have someone to talk with; she was tired of people looking her over while she held on to her nerves. She was fairly new to this whole thing.
"Khushi, let me see your mehendi."
She obligingly held her hands out for Anjali to admire. But Anjali had other motives. Under the guise of studying the mehendi, she spoke.
"Don't let these women bother you!"
"Ji?"
"These women. I know some of their behaviour is not good but just remember one thing; they may be looking down on you but that is because they are insecure. They are jealous of your looks. But just remember, for all my brother's faults, there is one very important factor about him. He is the Maharaja; all these people are below him in status. I'm not saying status is the most important thing but at this point in time, it is very useful, especially to you. They might try to be rude but they don't have the courage to do anything about it. Just uphold that courage. You are doing beautifully. Just keep it up and you will be fine."
Khushi listened, storing the facts in her brain. Finally she smiled back.
"Shukriya Di. I truly am nervous. But what you have told me helps. It really does."
"I am here for you Khushi, you know that don't you?"
"Ji. But Di, your nanad's are very nice. They look so strict but they are not, are they?"
"No they are not. We women born in royal families are taught to keep a tight hold on our emotions as other, lower class women supposedly look up to us for examples. Many of the older women, you'll see appear stern but they are not. I for one have always wished I could just be myself at all times instead of presenting a faade! But as you will learn, these facades have their own use. In this society where some people look for weaknesses to exploit, these faades help a lot. As I said, they have their uses!" Anjali finished ruefully.
Anjali and Khushi chatted on. In the midst of this, servants appeared with trays of food; a selection of savouries and sweets and passed them around. The other women didn't have elaborate designs like the bride so they could manage to eat on their own but Khushi and Anjali could not manage their food. But her attendants appeared to feed them. Anjali ate well but Khushi could not manage more than a few mouthfuls of kheer.
Occasionally one of the artists flicked drops of sugar water on her mehendi so that the color would be dark until it was time for Khushi to remove her it. The mehendi ritual was a long one. It started with the bride having her mehendi put on and ended with the bride's dry mehendi removed and the color of mehendi blessed. It was late afternoon and the attendants hurried to bring in silver utensils.
Khushi sat with her feet in a silver plate while an attendant removed the dry mehendi, brushing it off before washing her feet with rose water. She repeated the same process with her hands. The guests watched silently. It was considered rude to say anything until the process was complete. One washed, the attendant dried her hands and feet with a soft cloth before applying oil and massaging them on her skin. She finished and presented the bride-to-be to the guests.
Now guests could comment and they all did in admiring tones on the darkness of her mehendi. Sure enough the color was dark and created a vivid and beautiful picture against her fair skin. Her mehendi was a success and once again, Anjali did the arti and the guests blessed the bride-to-be as she sat in her flower decorated seat, her mehendi displayed for their eyes. At this time they also presented small tokens or shagun to the bride. A silver tray was set on a low stool in front of her and all the guests placed their shagun in it before blessing her. The tokens were all in small boxes and Khushi had a suspicion that they contained small pieces of jewelry but she could not confirm. For after all guests had blessed her, Mamta Raizada, as her future mother-in-law placed the whole tray on a red cloth and tied it on the top. With appropriate ceremony she handed the tray to Garima for safe-keeping. This tray would be given to its owner, the new Maharani when she would visit her parents' home a day after her wedding for her pag phera. She learned then that the same process would be repeated during her haldi ceremony.
Finally the guests left as did Garima. Mamta had taken the responsibility of overseeing the small ceremonies in Shashi's house to welcome his bride. Khushi clung to her mother for a moment but before Garima could get worried she let her go with a smile and maintained it until the older women and guests left. She maintained the faade during the evening pooja in the cottage; she was forbidden to leave the cottage now until the wedding ceremony. Finally in the privacy of her small room, in the night she could admit her nervousness and fear of each moment as it carried her close to her wedding.
During the pooja ceremony a few days back, she had been truly stunned and scared when the Maharaja took her hand to kiss it. Did that mean that after her marriage he would expect his marriage rights? Although to be honest, she had no idea what this marriage rights entailed. She had never had friends in her banjaara community to discuss these things. All she knew was that it involved a male and female and their bodies but not the details. But whom to ask now? Devi Maiya, she truly was a doomed soul, Khushi thought with sudden black humour. It was really rich, she mused, that she got in trouble with her tribe after the Maharaja insinuated that she allowed him liberties she should not have. Today, the artist told her she should not allow him any liberties until he found his name in her mehendi. The Maharaja himself had been interested in making her his mistress, presumably for these same liberties! And she, Khushi, had no idea what these so-called liberties were! She really was doomed, she thought with a rueful smile. She got in to so much trouble because of them but had no idea what they were!
And there lay the big question; whom to ask? Baba or Maa? No. Dadi Maa or Rani Maa perhaps? Oh no! Anjali Di or Prithvi bhai saheb? Prithvi bhai saheb? Khushi, you really are a Sanka Devi, she thought. Where did Prithvi bhai saheb come in the picture? But Anjali Di, maybe. But for that she would have to have the courage! She didn't know what all it was about but even she knew that it was personal, really personal. She could just imagine herself now, asking Anjali Di while her face was fiery red!!!
There is one person you can ask, her mind slid in slyly.
Whom?
The Maharaja!
What? Nahi! How can I ask him? Him unse kaise pooch sakte hai?"
Very easily, came the answer. In fact he owes you this answer. You can ask him before he takes the liberties. He has to tell you. After all he got you in trouble over them. It's only fair he explains. All you have to do is ask him!
Ask HIM? Devi Maiya, she thought hysterically, my mind has turned against me! How can I ask him? I can barely think about him without panicking, when he comes in front of me I can barely stop myself from running and when he touches me, I freeze! What a quandary, she thought.
She quickly sat up on her pallet and folding her hands in front of her, started praying to her best friend, Devi Maiya to make things better for her. There were so many issues in her mind and no one she felt comfortable asking! Please, Devi Maiya, hamari madat karna, hamari raksha karna!!!!!!!!!!!!
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
Jodha Akbar
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