Originally posted by: crazy2012
I need one help again :D
how can I describe a dead scene?
one of the lead is crushed under wheel of a bus and other is seeing it, bt can't do anything, so how can i describe the pain so that readers also can feel the pain??
thanks
To make the scene more impactful, the scene of death should be sudden, unexpected without any signs of the event happening at all. And it also involves what do you want the surviving partner to feel? Do you want him/her to feel guilty? Or just shocked?
If you want to make the surviving partner feel guilty, make them fight just before the death. If not, write one of the most romantic scenes just before it and when death follows later, the shock hits the readers full on.
Now how do you describe it?
If I were you, I would make them kiss just before it. So it can be something like: (assuming the girl is dying)
"The soft touch of her lips still lingered on his, as he walked away from her with a silly smile on his face. Even without turning back to glance at her, he could visualize her cheeks blushing, nervously chewing her bottom lip. But he did turn around, just for the fun to see her flustered up once more with his gaze.
He did see her smile, melting his heart with love for her.
Only that he didn't know it would be the last time he would be rewarded with that warmth.
And before he could grasp what was happening, time froze and so did he, his arm outstretched to reach out for her, the blood draining right down his face, his mind freezing numb.
He saw the love of his life freeze with time, the smile dying with her, being crushed under the wheels of fate as the bus slammed right into her.
Her name just died midway as it escaped his lips.
But there was nothing he could do to save her. The road separated them at that moment, but now, death replaced it.
Ok, this was me being dramatic.😆 and it was drafted in three minutes. So it may not be exactly good. But I think you have got some idea now on how to proceed with it.
And to make it even more dramatic, stop the update right there. That is one way to leave the readers speechless.😆