It Had to be you
"I can't live without you please don't push me away this time"
He stiffens at her plea but didn't feel even a twinge of emotions in his heart for this girl he felt like this place he had been given to someone else. He tried to ask this question to himself and when he closed his eyes Khushi's face roamed in his thoughts.
" Arnav, I've loved you with all my heart, when you had rejected my love the first time I confessed I wept a lot to think why did you reject me? Am I not beautiful or ugly or haven't wealth'i couldn't bear your rejection'you left the city and I had found you everywhere---every corner of the city but couldn't get even a clue about you'I waited for the day when I would see you again and when I saw you after many years those desires which were buried in my heart came out---my heart craves for you Arnav'my heart craves for your love'don't you feel pity on me?"
He seemed to digest her question with a certain amount of bewilderment, she stared him intently and he moved away his eyes as his mind was too numb to allow a quick riposte. A twinge of guilt pricked in his heart bringing the thought he had used her feelings for his benefit, he was selfish. He gasped with the sudden restlessness and then glancing down, he apologized and his honest reply startled her for a moment.
"I'm sorry; I never wanted to hurt your feelings Riya but I never thought about you like that---you were my friend and still I respect you, care for you like a friend"
"But I want more----"
She spat desperately clinging to him and he paused and gave her a startled look,she felt momentarily anger at his act but she stabled her composure.
"But I want more'I want your love not your friendship'I've waited for you long and now I want to see you beside me'I can't wait to claim you as Mine'Just Mine"
A sudden surge of irritation that swept through him brought anger in him and he wished to push away her hands from his body but he gulped down the air and holding her shoulders pulled himself away from her touch slowly.
"I've feared I can't give you what you wanted"
He tried to calm his voice fighting with the sudden desperation to see Khushi in her place pleading ---begging for his love. He amazed at himself to think what would have his reply if Khushi would say him the same words, she would say him that she loved him and couldn't live without him. He irritatingly shied away these thoughts with the jolt .What I'm thinking? What has happened to me? He let out the breath of panic.
"Arnav why don't you accept me in your life. No one can love you like I do"
She cried in desperation shaking him and he jolted coming out of his thoughts, she could see the play of emotions on his face but she had doubted if it was for her.
"But I---I-----"
"I love you Arnav"
He stiffened, he felt anger, and before he could react or could reply at her words, her long arm encircled his waist and she dipped her head into his chest.
"I love you'I know you won't love me but still I'll wait for you"
She pulled back and lifted her lashes to look at him.
"You can take as much time as you want but don't---don't reject my love this time..please"
He felt rigid but didn't dare to move, she raised her gaze to the face that was lost somewhere deep in thoughts, she touched her lips with his cold cheek and then walked out the house leaving him in the deep turmoil.
***********************
"Khushiii!"
Diya slammed the door in haste and rushed into her room through the door, Khushi startled leaving the door of armoire opened and turned to face her.
"What happened Diya?is everything alright?"An expression of panic on her face she spoke and Khushi stared up at friendly face which seems disturbed.
"Um, actually Newport there is a new"
Diya replied and Khushi heart sank to see seriousness in Diya's face.
"what---what happened?"
She gasped in horror staring and Diya couldn't stop her grin, "you've got the job my dear".
Diya announced happily still giggling with joy and Khushi froze for a moment giving her blank expression, "what? I got the job"
Her eyes shimmered with unshed tears and the smile touched her lips still looking uncertain and Diya steps closer to her and giving her a long hug, "yes, my dear'you've been getting the job in Sexsena's Industries where you've given an interview a day before'I just received a mail from them"
Diya pulled back still grinning and this time Khushi too grin with all her heart.
" I can't believe it" A lump formed in her throat and she gulped down the Tears.
Diya paused and gave her a concerned look.
"I never thought I've ability to stand on my own feet or I never thought about it before as I used to depend on Arnav-----"Khushi paused a bit and gasped the breath in pain.
"I just wanted him in my life'I just wanted his happiness'I never thought about me"
Her voice felt heavy with the hurt and Diya raised her hand to remove her tears. "Don't cry for that person who don't deserve your love"
Diya bit her words in anger feeling sudden desperation to confront that man and asked him why did he hurt this poor soul? Why didn't he care for her emotions? Why did he let her go away from him? Why didn't' he cares for her after knowing she was bearing his child?
"Don't say like this about him"
Khushi spoke hesitantly avoiding looking back at her and Diya smiled sympathetically, "you do love him deeply, madly don't you?"
Khushi felt an edge of sarcasm in Diya's last words and stared up at her as her feelings for him was so deep, so strong that she had doubted she could ever denied it, "yes, I love him very much---I love him deeply, madly though I know vey well he doesn't believe on Love'he wouldn't accept this unexpected child of his or wouldn't give name to this unnamed relationship but still---I love him and I can't help but love him more and more with the growth of his seed inside me" Khushi's eyes flared with bright sparks of love and Diya eyes momentarily held Khushi and then she jerked her head slightly still not getting why Khushi still loved that person after whatever he did with her? She wanted to shake her violently so she would wake up from her dreams as she didn't want Khushi to get hurt she had been already suffered a lot due to that person, she was carrying his child'his blood but that stone-hearted person wasn't accepting this truth.
She sighed and gave a quick glance to Khushi who looked disturbed at this argument, she mentally cursed herself realizing in this condition stress wasn't good for Khushi, taking steps closer to Khushi she reached at her side and then hold her hands in hers giving her a guilt filled stare."I'm sorry Khushi---I shouldn't have talked about him like that when I know what he meant to you, I know you love him despite whatever he has done with you"
The expression turned to relax on Khushi's face and Diya sighed with relief.
"He is after all father of my niece or nephew and my jiju"
Diya suppressed smile to see blush crept over Khushi's cheek listening the last few words and gave her a teasing glance enjoying that blush, "what if my nephew got angry with me to hear something bad about his daddy" She teased again Khushi and got a grin, and then sighed contentedly finally seeing the content expressions back on Khushi's face but she knew behind this mask of contentment there was deep love, longing for him, he had been become part of Khushi and his separation would make her heart hollow, empty and Diya didn't want her to became the old Khushi again, she had seen in her eyes dreams, hope to be loved'hope to get what she desired and Khushi's love, her hope was Arnav who could fill her life with colors removing the deprival of past.
Diya took a shuddering breath rousing from her thoughts when Khushi gave her a quick glance to see her if she was alright and she smiled with assurance in hope that her thoughts wouldn't have reflected on her face.
***************
He had passed the whole week in his room, sometime pacing aimlessly, sometimes throwing things on the floor, on the bed trying to spill out his anger'his helplessness'his desperation.
The chill night air touched his bare skin and he inhaled breath and then sipped the last drop of his wine throwing the glass on the floor, A week had been passed since Khushi had left him and he was clueless about her, he tried to find her every possible place where he thought he could've found her but all his efforts turned out fruitless. Riya had been contacted him many times but he wasn't gathering courage to confront her again.
How much he was trying to shy away Khushi's thoughts from his mind but it was effortless as he had been lost his grip on his thoughts, his decisions. She had been captured his everything he was feeling empty, hollow in his heart without her but the thought that she didn't even care to tell him where she was going burned his heart with anger.
He turned on the cool water in the shower and stood under it trying to soothe his pain, his anger that was burning him inside. He didn't realize how much time he spent there but when chill ran through his veins making his body shiver badly, he roused and quickly turned off the shower; he slipped into jeans and then didn't bother to wrap his shivering body with the warm clothes, he grabbed the bottle and poured some wine in it, he swallowed half the contents of the glass in one gulp he threw himself on the bed and closed his eyes. A chill seeped through from the open window panes and he began to shake and shiver violently in his unconsciousness. When he tried to open his eyes he felt room spin around him and he saw it as if through a long, deep and dark tunnel and he fall down in that tunnel until only a pinpoint of light remained and then it too vanished with a startling abruptness and now its darkness all around him and he is alone.
It was just a minute passed when he realized someone pulled the comforter and wraps it around his body, a warm hand caressed his forehead gently. He opened his eyes as she gasped his name still feeling weak wandering his eyes on the face who was leaning over him, a gentle soft smile touched her lips when she looked into his astonished eyes but caressing his shivering skin panic flushed in her eyes and she gave him an angry look.
"Arnav ,why did you behave like this? What if you get a chill? You know how badly you are shivering"
Her voice turned weak as she bent and kissed his cheek. He lifted her head and tried to speak, but his shuddering made his speech incoherent. He whimpered and fought with his voice and finally a desperate whisper escaped his dry lips.
"Khushi!!"
Their eyes met and he had let his face show his longing for her. She slipped into comforter besides him and then let him snuggled close to her, "why did you leave me?"He mumbled closing his eyes against her skin, a tear trickled from her eyes and she pulled him closer to her giving him comfort and then moved her fingers lovingly into his hairs removing the pain from his body'his soul.
"I'm sorry Arnav"
"I'm sorry---I won't leave you again'I won't leave you "
She murmured against his ears, kissing his cheek, moving her fingers on his cold skin, he deeply inhaled her fragrance in him and then smiled in assurance letting himself drifting into deep slumber.
*****************************************
Edited by Maria. - 12 years ago
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