SWARON SS; I DONT WANT U BUT U R MINE updt page 11 - Page 6

Originally posted by: medhasarkar

judging by the response actually...i think its probably not worth continuing

Originally posted by: medhasarkar

judging by the response actually...i think its probably not worth continuing

I shut my eyes...while he hollered.

"Sharon i don't have to give you any damn explanations. You...and your pushing away, seriously i have had enough of it. arrey doh bar laath khake toh kutta bhi samajh jata hai ki yahan aana mana hain ...but me? I'm sorry Sharon. I bothered you so much nah? My unwelcome presence tumhe aur pareshan nahi karega. You're finally rid of me. Happy independence day, ms. Raiprakash"

"swayam?" i asked, still with my eyes closed, the pain and the frustration of failing to get what he wanted most in life...me, was leaking out, oozing out of his words like pus from a deep wound.a wound i had given him, the one whom i love the most.

I had hoped, prayed so much that finally he would give up on me and move on...but today, i feel like...the only strings holding me was swayam...now i will scatter.

I am afraid...without his love being there i feel so... exposed...like i am gonna be out in winter without a blanket to protect me...or in a new –place without a map. But i had expected this...prepared for this moment and its awful finality. But if he leaves dance too? Then i'll be defeated, totally. He cant . i wont let him.

"why did you leave dance swayam?"

"i already said i don't have to give you any explanations;" he turned away again.

I moved closer, "you do ."

"no Sharon...i don't. I gave you a lot of rights over me...but i'm taking them back. Koi haq nahi hai tumhe mujhpar. Tum ho kaun mere liye jo mujhse justification maang rahi ho?"

"swayam...look at me?" and the dam broke.

"I WONT! I WONT LOOK AT YOU, I WONT TALK TO YOU. EVER SHARON DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? You are no one to me...you don't wanna be anyone to me. Sab aise hi hai. No matter how much i love them...they just don't reciprocate. Dad, you...fine . zarurat nahi hai mujhe. Dad bhul gaye mujhe...tum...ekdin kehti ho ki mai important hun...chali jaati hon...you, do you even know how much i missed you? wapas aati hon, to kuch nahi hoon tumhare liye.koi reason nahi...aur aaj chali ayi mujhse justification maangne. Nahi doonga explanation. kabhi baat nahi karunga tumse...picha chhoota na mujhse?chalo...tumhari koi bhi wish mai incomplete nahi rakhta...tumhari yeh getting rid of me wish bhi poora kar diya." His voice cracked...my swayam was broken.

I went and stood in front of him...he was sobbing...he averted his eyes and was about to move away. I stopped him.

"mere liye dance choda na tumne?"

"ha, choda. Toh? Dance mujhhe tumhari yaad dilane ke ilava aur kuch nahi karega. Pagal ho jaunga main agar maine dance nahi choda."

god i had been so wrong.of course swayam would do just what i had not predicted. He is unpredictable. And of course i could protect him from me and my disability but from himself? I could not. Or maybe its the same thing .him and me. Our lives are no longer separate...i had worried my disability would cause his sacrifice. I had not thought, that my complete absence from his life would cause more.

Now what?

thats it guys...hope you like it. and if you dont well, feel free to say so...anything is better than silence from the readers you know.

Originally posted by: Hoppy

The choice of words which you use na Medha just pierces through my heart.

For instance -

I am afraid...without his love being there i feel so... exposed...like i am gonna be out in winter without a blanket to protect me...or in a new place without a map.

and the best of all

His voice cracked...my swayam was broken.----> this one was 👏👍🏼 No words actually.

PS: Next time se bada update dena, and mujhe PM bhi karna, I didn't get any PM for this one🥺