Part 12: Do Deewane Shehar Mein
Khushi looked at Anagha curiously while they waited for their soup to arrive. It seemed that it was the season for everyone to arrive in London. First, Nandu, then Shyam and now Anagha, the place was teeming with people she knew. Somehow this did not excite her too much. Though by and large she liked people and their company, one of the best things about being in London was that most people she knew were one slightly expensive plane ticket and a complex visa process away. But she was happy to see Anagha, especially since she now knew for sure that Anagha had come to the UK to unite with her husband David, and therefore was no longer a threat to her sister Payal.
Payal, Khushi sighed, was really going to be her death.
"The weather is not too shabby," Anagha said, a contended smile on her face as the soup arrived and she took in a spoonful.
"Fresh off the Boat and we are already discussing weather? How English," Khushi said as she stuck out her tongue at her friend.
"Oh shut up. So what is new? You look kind of different. What have you done? Haircut? Lost weight? What? And how is Payal? Have the Raizadas driven her nuts already or not," Anagha asked giggling.
"Too many questions," Khushi responded as she distractedly peeped into her phone. Nope, no message from her "real fiance", whom she briefly thought was fake. Payal was right, Arnav was not the kind of guy who would fake propose. Like ever. She was high on morphine and her normally fanciful brain was further addled, but it really was no excuse. And now thanks to Payal and her bigmouth, Arnav wouldn't even speak with her. When Khushi had agreed to marry Arnav after the Anuj fiasco, she was completely in her senses and sober. So, she knew it was the real deal. The proposal at the hospital, the one from Mr Darcy was the one she hadn't taken seriously. But that stubborn boy would not even give her a chance to explain and gone ahead and jumped to his own conclusions. She tried calling him a dozen times, but he was determined to ignore her. She had even called him from her fixed line in office, but Raizada was two steps ahead of her and did not pick up her phone. Damn this caller ID nonsense. She had texted him, sent him emails and had Facebook friended him even. If she kept this up, she would probably get a restraining order. From being engaged to a restraining order in under forty-eight hours, sometimes her life was truly mind boggling.
"Arnav is such a baby," Khushi said, not realizing that she spoken out aloud.
"Eh? Arnav Raizada? He is an asshole," Anagha said, making a face.
"No, he is not," Khushi said, almost indignant.
Fiance trumps friends, even if they go MIA and may or may not be your fiance anymore. Good lord, why did she feel so depressed now.
"Eh? That was quick. Way too quick. What is happening? Oh wait, I completely forgot, he is your new BFF cum eye sex partner," Anagha said looking at her curiously.
"Yeah, whatever. So what do you plan to do now? Get a job or look after the family business" Khushi asked, determined to change the subject.
Anagha put down her spoon and sighed.
"If you are trying to switch topics, it aint working. I guess it is safe to tell you this now. You know how I met Aakash, right?" Anagha said conspirationally.
"Mmm hmm," Khushi said, wondering where this was leading.
"Well. This club I went to, both Arnav and Aaaksh were there. And to be honest, I saw Arnav before I saw Aakash and thought he was cute. So when a waiter said that Mr Raziada had sent me a drink, I assumed it was Arnav. Much later I realized that it was Aakash and thought he was not bad either. The rest as they say is history," Anagha concluded.
"Wow! Aakash Jeeju was kinda smooth," was Khushi's point at the end of the conversation.
"Yup, he was. Arnav Raizada was a snob and never approved of me for his precious brother. Nobody would be good enough for him or his siblings, I suppose. Of course, he loves Payal I am sure. Everyone loves Payal," Anagha had hastily assured her.
Khushi was now finding herself sucked into a never-ending whirlpool of sadness. She wished Anagha would shut up. So distracted she was that she did not realize that their food had arrived and when she placed her palms on the table found that she had placed her fingers on a hot plate of steak.
She passed out.
--
An hour later, Khushi found herself in the emergency room, her left palm all bandaged and her fingers looking completely red. This kind of shit could only happen to her. She really needed to speak with Daadi, somebody had probably cast their evil eye on her. It was the only explanation for all these freak accidents. Or maybe Raizada had cursed her.
Anagha was waiting for her outside the nurse's station a quizzical expression on her face.
"I am sorry to have ruined lunch, Ana'" Khushi began, walking towards the friend.
"Shut up, Khushi! Do you have anything to say to me," Anagha asked, folding her hands, looking on most sternly.
"Umm. Like what?" Khushi wondered what had turned Anagha so belligerent.
Anagha pulled out Khushi's burnt fingers and pointed at her very expensive and beautiful ring.
"Yeah, it is a ring," Khushi said, hastily pulling her hand away.
Anagha now gave her the stink eye.
"Fine, don't look at me like that. I got engaged two days ago. To Arnav Raizada," Khushi said, waiting with dread for her friend to react.
"OMG! OMG! OMG! That is so wonderful. You guys are so perf together. Arnav and Khushi! Khunav? Arshi? Jo bhi. You guys will look so cute together. Ooh, cute babies," Anagha did some inappropriate squealing at the ER and enveloped her into a hug.
"I thought Arnav Raizada was an asshole and nobody was good enough for him," Khushi said as they finally headed out.
"Oh, pish posh! He gave you the ring. It is obviously not fake or anything," Anagha has said happily.
That was enough and Khushi began to sob while a bewildered Anagha looked on.
**
"No, I don't agree with this and that is final," Arnav said, while Balwant Kaur looked on bemused. He really should not have agreed to this movie nonsense. He was a writer, not some puppet in the hands of a very sleazy-looking producer, with more rings than fingers. And as if that was not bad enough, there was a director who believed that when people fell in love, they literally fell into each other's arms to fall in love.
"But Arnav that is what audience likes to see; falling, tripping and catching. Fictional love stories have to be more dramatic than what happens in real life. Surely as a writer you understand that," Balwant Kaur said in her genial tone.
"Just because it is fiction, it needn't be stupid. No offense, Balwant," Arnav said while sleazy-producer simultaneously spoke on two mobile phones. Wow! That must be a fantastic superpower to have, Arnav couldn't help but think. And jeez, what kind of crap he had got himself into, he wondered.
Lauren, his agent looked anxious as usual whereas Asya was the most unruffled of the lot, using her practiced manager smile on everyone.
"Balwant Aunty, I think Arnav has a good point," said a preening Sunaina Kapoor.
Arnav rolled his eyes and swore under his breath. He didn't expect that the only person who would get him would be this still-in-her-teens young girl.
But he was not going to look at a gift house in its mouth and smiled at her gratefully. Sunaina preened some more.
"Arnav, I know this is silly, but I want to be a writer too. I wrote this short story and was wondering if I could mail it you and get honest feedback. Please," Sunaina said earnestly.
He was pleasantly surprised. Sunaina did not seem like the kind of girl who would be interested in anything other than make-up and new diet fads. He then felt guilty immediately for judging her so uncharitably.
"I would love to help Sunaina. In fact, mail it to me and we can discuss it over breakfast tomorrow," he assured her as she beamed.
Good job, Raizada, classic over-compensating that is. First you judge her and then you feel guilty and have basically agreed to an almost-date. But it was done. He avoided Asya's eyes, who was looking at him, one eyebrow raised.
Just then his phone beeped.
Sunaina Kapoor wants to be friends with you on Facebook.
"I just sent you a Facebook friend request," the girl creeped up on him.
Everyone in the room looked on them curiously, but were polite enough not to say anything.
"Where is Shashank Kapoor," Asya asked, in a bid to steer the subject elsewhere.
"Shashank is in the gym. He should be anytime here soon. He really is serious about his body," Sleazy Producer said, almost with a hint of pride.
"Ewww. I am totally not into beefed up guys." Sunaina Kapoor announced making eyes at Arnav.
Arnav wasn't sure what to make of all this attention he was getting from this teenager. At one level, it was flattering, but he also knew that this needed to be discouraged. Not to mention that he was engaged. Or was he just fake-engaged?
He checked his phone, there had been no texts or mails from Khushi for over six hours now. What was wrong, he wondered? Was she alright? Had she got hit by a bus or something? Na. She probably just got bored of pacifying her fake fiance, he thought moodily. When Anjali Di had called him and warned him about not getting his hopes up over the engagement he had been crushed. He had just given Khushi a ring and was still unable to wrap his head around the fact that she had said yes to him only in mock-seriousness. But now that it had been over three days, he had cooled down considerably. He realised that he should not have raised the topic of marriage when she was in a hospital and that too high on morphine, but he still felt the right to feel indignant for a while longer. So now he was annoyed that Khushi was no longer stalking him.
Listen to yourself Raizada, Arnav thought to himself, Balwant Kaur's trip and catch routine sounds more intelligent already.
"Fine, let us do the whole trip and catch routine. Not like I have to do anything. But no item songs, please," Arnav said turning around the group.
Everyone looked relieved and there was a collective sigh that went around in the room.
"Girls will go crazy over Shashank and Sunaina. I heard tumblr is already calling them Sha-Sun and there is so much positive buzz over the leaked photographs," Sleazy Producer announced gleefully.
Arnav rolled his eyes and Sunaina seemed completely disgusted by the portmanteau of Sha-Sun.
"I think Arnav is right, we should certainly not have any item song in this movie. It will take away from the purity of the story," Sunaina, his unerring fangirl said.
Just then Shashank Kapoor, Greek God, the star of the movie walked in, all ripped muscles and what not.
"Sorry folks, I had a great training session this morning and got carried away. What are we discussing," said Shashank.
"I am leaving now, Balwant Aunty. I will mail you my story, Arnie," saying this, Sunaina flicked her hair and walked out.
Why the hell was she referring to him as Arnie?! He also could not help notice that Shashank Alpha Male Kapoor looked heartbroken.
Young love, Arnav thought amused.
Or not so young love, he sighed. Maybe he should call up Khushi after all. He was about to call her when Lauren walked up to him. She had the expression which suggested that there was something grave that needed to discuss. He put his phone away.
"What is the matter, Lauren? You look kind of worried," he told his agent.
"Arnav, don't be mad. But Balwant and I were discussing this. You really need to get a haircut. This," she said pointing at his now very long hair, "cannot be your movie look."
"No, I will not cut my hair," he said, glowering at everyone and walked out of the room.
**
Arnav Raizada is friends with Sunaina Kapoor and 83 other people.
So Arnav Raizada accepted her friend request after all. And that of 82 other people. Hmpfh!
She went to his wall and found gushing posts by 1000 fangirls. Whatever.
The newest post was from Sunaina Kapoor, future superstar and the newest kid on the Bollywood Block. It said: "Arnie, thank you so much for the chat this morning. It was truly a sunny side up morning :)))))))" Bleugh.
She was going to ignore him and his fangirls. That was her plan. Rather that was Anagha's plan for her, after she had regaled her with the entire story. Though given that it been four days now and Raizada had not established any contact with her yet, the plan seemed dubious. But she was going to wait and watch.
She went to Payal's wall and wrote: "Payalooo."
**
Arnav was sitting in Asya's office as they went through the proofs of his book.
"So how is Sunaina," Asya asked finally, a hint of mischief in her eyes.
"Oh come now, Asya, don't start this again," he had groaned.
"Well, she is crushing on you and you seem to be enjoying the attention," Asya said, looking just a trifle worried.
"She is not. I am not. Okay, maybe she is. And maybe I was. But not anymore. She is just a child and plus I am.." he did not know what to say.
"Plus, you are engaged to Khushi," Asya finished his sentence.
"What the," Arnav swore, "Did she tell you?"
"Nope. I actually heard it from a friend. You know that guy Shyam Jha, the chef," Asya said, looking uncomfortable.
"Ah," he said, realization dawning, "Are you' okay?"
"Yes, of course. We were dating a long time ago. It was good to catch up with him," Asya said.
"I bet he is disappointed that Khushi was.. is engaged," he said sighing.
"Eh? Why would he be disappointed that Khushi is engaged. He and Payal were dating. But he is over her too. He is a nice guy, you know," Asya said in a wistful tone.
Wait. Payal and Shyam were dating? Then why did Khushi and Shyam let him believe that they were an item. Of course, they did it to protect Payal from unnecessary scrutiny. He felt a begrudging respect for Shyam and Khushi. But he was still upset about the fake-engagement bit.
"By the way, how is Khushi now? Is she feeling better," Asya interrupted his thoughts.
"What is wrong with her?" he asked, immediately alarmed and guilty.
"Some fiance you are. Didn't you know that she had burnt her palms recently. While having lunch," Asya said.
What the hell?! How can one burn one's palms while having lunch?! This could only happen with Khushi. Wait. Could this explain why she was not obsessively texting or mailing him anymore?
Beep.
Sunaina Kapoor tagged you in a note on Facebook.
Jeez, he needed to make this stop he thought as he checked Facebook. Oh look, Khushi had updated her Facebook status ' "Watching Gharaonda. In a Bombay State of Mind"
Obviously her fingers were perfectly capable of sending messages and mails, he muttered sullenly.
**
Rapid-fire with Sunaina Kapoor
1. Favourite Vegetable
Aubergine.
Which the rest of humanity calls brinjal or baingan. Hmpfh.
2. Dream Destination
Lucknow.
By which you mean Sheesh Mahal, Taj Lucknow or some other 7-star property. Hmpfh.
3. Favourite Movie
Les Enfants du paradis
But, of course. Because an Indian film wouldn't just do. Hmpfh.
4. Favourite Book
Too many. But just finished reading The Great Indian Family by Arnav Raizada. It was brilliant. He is brilliant.
Bitch.
Rapid-fire with Shashank Kapoor
1. Favourite Vegetable
Potato.
Mine too.
2. Dream Destination
No place like home. Bombay.
Totally agree.
3. Favourite Movie
Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge
Abso-f**kingly-true.
4. Favourite Book
I am embarrassed to say this, I am not much of a reader. But I can still read anything by Roald Dahl.
Aww. What a cutie-patootie.
**
"What news of my parjaiji," NK asked Arnav as they finished their game of squash.
"Your who," he asked, almost out of his breath.
"My bhabhi, bro. Khushi Bhabhi. What is up with her," NK asked cheerfully, as he picked up his bag.
"She is not your bhabhi," Arnav said moodily.
"She is not. Did she dump you," NK said, sounding almost ecstatic at the prospect.
NK was such a gossip, always on the look for a good story.
"No, she did not dump me," Arnav said, his anger now thinly-veiled.
"Woah! No need to get intense A-dawg. You dumped her, didn't you? I knew you would mess up," NK said as he dumped his bag into the back of the car and hopped in.
They drove on for a bit, with Aranv wondering where Khushi Bhabhi had disappeared to. It had been seven days now and there was no news from her. His thoughts were interrupted by constant static sounds as he found NK fiddling with the radio.
"What do you think you are doing, NK," Arnav swore at his cousin.
"Trying to get this to play us some music. Ah, here it is, let us listen to Drivetime," NK said finally satisfied and ignoring his cousin giving him the look. An RJ who spoke highly anglicized Hindi mumbled something about it being a 'blast from the past' hour.
And coming up next is a song from the film Gharaonda, the RJ began to say..
"OMG! Let me call Khushi to tune in. She loves this movie," NK almost jumped from his seat as he picked up his phone to call Khushi.
Arnav watched with a mild melancholic feeling as NK excitedly called up Khushi and asked her to tune in.
"K-Star do you want to speak with your fiance," he asked over the phone and poked his cousin while at it.
"Hahahahahaha. You are right, of course," he said and hung up.
Arnav was determined not to ask NK what Khushi had said.
Do deewane shehear mein, raat mein aur dophar mein'
**
Ten Ways to Woo Raizada?
1. Stalk him ' Fail
2. Subject him to the silent treatment ' Fail
3. Use feminine wiles ' The system cannot recognize this command
4. Realise
5. That
6. You
7. Have
8. No
9. More
10. Ways
**
Beep
Khushi Gupta has invited you to play a game of Words with Friends.
Really Khushi? At 2:30 am? Arnav sat up on his bed. This girl was crazy.
Khushi Gupta played QI for 34 points.
Arnav played MARKET for 16 points.
Khushi Gupta played QIS for 36 points.
Arnav played REPORT for 14 points.
Khushi Gupta played QAT for 28 points.
Khushi, stop cheating.
I am not cheating. I never cheat.
Next time you get Q, please don't make words like QI and QAT, okay?
There is going to be a next time?
Depends. You need to stop playing fake words.
Fine. If you would stop fake proposing. *giggle*
Hmm.
Sorry. Too soon?
Yes, I guess. Why would anyone fake propose, Khushi?
I don't know. It happens.. in the movies and TV soaps.
Are you Balwant Kaur?
I wish.
Eh? Why?
I could being all casting couch-like with Shashank Kapoor.
He seems very devoted to Sunaina Kapoor.
Oh really? Wow. I am totally shipping Sha-Sun. So truce?
Truce. Maybe we should take it a little slow you know? Not jump the engagement bandwagon just yet.
What? No, no. You can't break off the engagement with me.
Why not?
Well, firstly I love you and all that. Plus Anagha thinks we will make cute babies together. And most importantly the damn ring won't come off. I have been trying for the last one week.
What if you lose weight and the ring comes off one of these days?
Are you saying I am fat?
I don't know what you are, Khushi. But I think you are perfect the way you are.
I know.
Eh?
I mean, thank you.
Do we tell the sisters about how we are no longer fake engaged?
Sure, we will do it tomorrow.
Okay Khushi, now you have woken me up and I am hungary, will speak to you tomorrow.
You are Hungary? Why don't you go and Czech the fridge.
Khushi, I really fear for the future of our children.
Whatever. They will at least be cute.
**
Edited by TabassumR - 12 years ago
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
Jodha Akbar
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