ArHi SS: Static Shocks - COMPLETED p.28 19/6 - Page 3

Chapter One : A Blast From The Past

... my dear husband"

Last time Arnav had checked, his wife had thick rimmed glasses and frizzy hair. And that she had been 19 years old. And that she had been drunk. In Vegas. And he had been 20 years old. And he'd been drunk. In Vegas. And they had been married. In Vegas.

But this beautiful trail of memory ended upon the annulment paper, with both their signatures on it. In Vegas. Had he remarried her, gotten into an accident, got regressive amnesia and then forgotten about her? But he did remember what had happened these past ten years. Or was she...

Oh shit.

"Listen, were you the chick NK puked on, the one who NK had married me off to later, because the girl's dress got ruined? Because he was drunk, and we're not actually married. Like, he just said it. For the love of god, are you one of those weird stalkers. Because yeah, I have my share of them, thank you very much. And for the record, exchanging garlands with my photograph does not qualify as an eternal whatever -"

"I'm Khushi. NK didn't puke on me. We married each other ten years ago, when I was 19 and you were 20. And we had annulled the wedding. Remember?"

"Then why did you call yourself my wife?"

"I just liked the idea of the theatrics. Like the typical vamp meeting the pure as ghee desi munda, if you know what I mean?"

"Why would you do that?"

"I assumed you'd remember me? Who the f**k forgets their ex-wife?"

"I... erm..."

This was, to say the least, awkward. Arnav wished there was a book which told you exactly HOW one should proceed to make conversation with one's ex wife, who he had been married to for exactly five days and five minutes. Oh well...

"So, exchanging garlands with your... picture?"

"You are not allowed to laugh"

"Oh I'm not laughing. I did once try to jump on Bradley Cooper when he... never mind"

"Bradley Cooper?"

"Not my proudest moment"

Arnav used the silence to study his ex wife. She had changed a lot. She was... and there were no two ways about it, sexy. The thick rimmed glasses had replaced wide hazel eyes. The frizzy, curly hair had gone and so had the pimples. Instead there was poker straight hair and as fair as milk skin.

"Are you wondering what happened to my puberty?"

"Yes, I am"

"After we got annulled and all, I took up wedding planning. The sense of irony, I suppose, appealed to me. But then, I really struck gold with the wedding planning venture, and so I decided to prettify myself. And then I decided, what the hell, I'm still young. So basically, I grew up"

"And" she continued "I had lots of sex. And then I met Shyam, who by the way, has the biggest..."

He's just met this chick. Like okay, she was his ex-wife and all. But hello? They were meeting after TEN f**kING YEARS. It's not like they were best friends either? Last time he had checked, ex wives didn't talk and talk and talk. They let you speak as well. And why was she telling him about Shyam or Anjaam or whatever his name was. This wedding planner wanted to take up scales against people's dick, fine. Why gross him out. He wasn't gay, for f**ks sake!