As Khushi made her way to the willow tree off a desolate part of the Delhi-Lucknow highway, she walked past the tree into the empty patch of land with beautiful flower bushes and fallen leaves, marking the change of seasons.
She collapsed to her knees, as she looked up into the sky, wishing to see her real Amma-Babuji once again.
'Amma...Babuji...it's been 15 years. 15 years since you left me and went. Why? Why didn't you take me with you? Why did it have to happen so close to here? We had so many great memories here...and now I'm so scared I'm losing them. Amma, Babuji, i'm scared of losing you. Not only scared of losing you, I'm scared of losing Arnavji. You understand right? You understand why I'm doing what I'm doing. Aarav and Arnavji are just too similar...I can't help but feel that there has to be some relationship between them. And Sheetalji, acts different around Arnavji. She's so much better suited to Arnavji than I am. She's sophisticated, beautiful, she speaks English well, wears Western clothes, plays all these sports and she's independent. I'm not good enough for Arnavji. Why did he even fall in love with me? I can't share my pain with anyone, because no one understands. I have to live up to my name, so I hide all my hurt and pain beneath this mask of Khushi. Amma, all I want is for you to sing me to sleep again. Babuji, I want to dance on your feet again. When did life get so complicated? And while all this is going on...today is today. Today marks the 15th year of you both going.'
Khushi started weeping silently, as she made her way back to the willow tree, to feel into the hole in the bark as she retrieved the chest that had 'Khushi Sharma' engraved on the front. She opened it, and picked up the photo lying on the top, that showed a young happy couple, with a grinning 6 year old on her dad's shoulders. She determinedly wiped the tears from her eyes, as she walked back to the meadow, and sat down and started praying, doing her parents' barsi in her own way. As much as she wanted to, she didn't want to do the pooja of her parents' barsi publicly, because she knew that her adoptive family would feel bad, as though she still felt like they weren't her real family. So every year she made up some excuse or the other, to come out here, to the place where she held some of her most cherished memories with her parents, and prayed that their spirits were in peace.
After she finished, she went back to the willow tree that had her parents initials carved in it, 'S+R' enclosed in a heart. Her dad had carved his and her mum's initials into the tree when they had expressed their love for each other, they told her when she was a little girl. They used to come here all the time, and have picnics and she would play while her parents would look into each other's eyes, filled with love and tenderness. She leaned against it and hugged the chest closer to herself, as fatigue slowly washed over her and her eyes closed, as she let the sleep overwhelm her. Her dreams were filled with memories of her childhood, memories she had locked away for the past 364 days, and the grief she hid away in her heart finally was allowed to spread its shadows and make its way into each part of her body.
đawesome.
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