OS: It Must Have Been Love

First Previous

Page

Next Last

Frequent Posters

Smriti

@serialjunkie

Rocker

+ 5

Posted: 12 years ago

#91

munchy - lovely os.

i guess i see the tables turning affecting people to question their judgmental attitudes towards the single mother.

What if the shoe were on teh other foot? would we still hold the other woman responsible?

I think single motherhood is such a complex issue there is no single prescription that works. One can only hope to do what is in the best interests of the child. If a child is incessantly curious about his/her dad, then he/she needs to be told in age-appropriate language about the reasons for a missing parent. Most kids are very resilient and especially those that live in the US, since they see family structures that come in many shades, shapes and sizes.

Single motherhood is not a curse. Sometimes its a choice and at other times a circumstance. What Khushi did in your story was to reach out to the dad when the child wanted to get to know his dad. However, if the dad is not ready to take the responsibility, she will need to work with her child to cope with the new reality.

Finally, if a man is decent and he figures out he has fathered a child, it makes sense for him to support the child and be part of his life. Clearly, Arnav failed here in that respect.

Vivian Richards fathered a bas***d child with Nina Gupta. The kid is Masaba Gupta. She has blossomed into a lovely young woman and Vivian had to come clean with his family about the child and include her into his primary family. Sheetal has a right to know if her husband has a child from a previous relationship.

Quote

Tia.0

@Tia.0

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 12 years ago

#92

Originally posted by: CravingKhana

Tia.O...very theoratial right now...there is much more to it than physical abuse and verbal abuse...
yes while men and thier rights are not given much space...to walk in the shoes of an unwed..mom...would only be the bigining of understand why many chooose the fire over the burning pot...

I completely understand single motherhood because I was raised by one. I have a lot of sympathy towards single mother for that very reason. However, that does not mean that I call a single mother a saint for choosing that path.

Single motherhood is hard, being unwed single mother is harder. But she made that choice. It was not forced on her. If a woman choose to adopt a child because she does not want to go through the unpleasantness of childbirth, I won't call her a saint or sinner, I'd call her a human being who made a choice. The same way if a mother choose "the fire" over the "burning pot" and chooses the easier (or harder) way out, I can't call her a martyr.

Nor I can blame the father for not being ecstatic to have a 8 year old child dropped into his lap suddenly. She had 9 months and 8 years to prepare to be a mother. The father did not have 8-9 mins to come to terms with it.

We always look from a mother's perspective because we are woman. But my mother was a single divorced mom. Being a single mother wasn't a choice, it was circumstances. I have full sympathy for her courage and sacrifice to give me a better life.

But a. She didn't lie to me about my father and b. She didn't hide me from my father.

At least if you have made the decision, have the guts to admit it. Tell your child that he wasn't rejected by his dad, you denied him his father? If you can't own up to your decision proves that even you know that you are wrong.

Edited by tia.o - 12 years ago

Quote

Looks like you are new here. Register for free, learn and contribute.

Srija Singh

@srija.singh04

Voyager

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

#93

Just what namesakes can do.

U really made me cry😭

But loved it and would actually love to see something like this happening in the show as well

and truly saying to the forum's attitude regarding this issue really disgusts me, and sadly we were supposed to be in the 21st century, after all that feminists went through, here we are

Quote

CravingKhana

@CravingKhana

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#94

Tia.

I hear what you are saying and dont wish to take anything away from your experience...and being the child of a single parent brings its own history and view...

the choices here of a mother "choosing" as you say to go it alone are slightly demonised...in the hurry to give the father a voice...or to anti the vision of the blase father that has been portrayed in this OS...

i am just saying that as far as fiction goes we can get down to the subdivisions of analysing a charactor but in life you are exposed only to a few facades and you tend to paint your world that way...

be weary of what and how you paint those whose lives you are but a spectator of...even given your upbringing.

Again in this story we are not privy to why if she did make that choice why she made it ...only her dicision to come back...

and while I do agree that the Arnav of the story was not given a voice ...or a chance..(niether was Sheetal).it is an OS ...with limited scope...

and i think the intention of the auther was to raise awareness...that the Kushis of this world are but humans making choices...and they do have stories...in the light of the rampant venom spewed on her

the pain of being pregnant, giving birth and then raising a child...sans the guilt is hard enough...while they may not be matyrs they are woman living out thier lot in life...it would be kinder not to dble guess ...what is right and wrong in those choices...from the proverbial armchair

Quote

Tia.0

@Tia.0

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 12 years ago

#95

Originally posted by: CravingKhana
Tia.
I hear what you are saying and dont wish to take anything away from your experience...and being the child of a single parent brings its own history and view...

the choices here of a mother "choosing" as you say to go it alone are slightly demonised...in the hurry to give the father a voice...or to anti the vision of the blase father that has been portrayed in this OS...

i am just saying that as far as fiction goes we can get down to the subdivisions of analysing a charactor but in life you are exposed only to a few facades and you tend to paint your world that way...

be weary of what and how you paint those whose lives you are but a spectator of...even given your upbringing.

Again in this story we are not privy to why if she did make that choice why she made it ...only her dicision to come back...

and while I do agree that the Arnav of the story was not given a voice ...or a chance..(niether was Sheetal).it is an OS ...with limited scope...

and i think the intention of the auther was to raise awareness...that the Kushis of this world are but humans making choices...and they do have stories...in the light of the rampant venom spewed on her

the pain of being pregnant, giving birth and then raising a child...sans the guilt is hard enough...while they may not be matyrs they are woman living out thier lot in life...it would be kinder not to dble guess ...what is right and wrong in those choices...from the proverbial armchair

Let's agree with you for a moment. Let's say she had a valid reason for not telling Arnav the truth at that moment.

What excuse do you have for her not telling the child the truth? What is her excuse for lying to her own child who will believe anything she tells him?

How can she keep on lying to him when he obviously wants to understand why his father is not with him?

Or does being single mother gives you the right to twist the truth to suit your purpose?

Quote

chavvi16

@chavvi16

Stunner

Posted: 12 years ago

#96

i guess you are trying to tell us how sheetal is feeling had she been in his place if she were sheetal and sheetal was khushi
guess we should se it from her pov too huh
but what if he isnt the father of the child
lets see what happens
very enlightening that

Quote

CravingKhana

@CravingKhana

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#97

Originally posted by: tia.o

Let's agree with you for a moment. Let's say she had a valid reason for not telling Arnav the truth at that moment.
What excuse do you have for her not telling the child the truth? What is her excuse for lying to her own child who will believe anything she tells him?
How can she keep on lying to him when he obviously wants to understand why his father is not with him?
Or does being single mother gives you the right to twist the truth to suit your purpose?

the child desreves the truth (tho i firlmy believe there is no THE truth only versions)...and the mother has to be ready...to be completely naked with it...the time and place...too...

While I am not saying yeh or nai or right or wrong i merely say dont judge...

there is no right way...

As far as the story goes it was a whip lash knee jerk answer...and that is very reflective of the truth...so heres hoping Arav and Khushi do talk it out...before Arav makes judgements...of his father...or has here say to deal with...

and Arnav has a chance to digest this and talks to sheethal as she too has a right...

@bold...harsh words those...and this is what I say be wiery of...

Edited by CravingKhana - 12 years ago

Quote

Smriti

@serialjunkie

Rocker

+ 5

Posted: 12 years ago

#98

its funny how many interpretations we have drawn from a One Shot.

Here is an OS within an OS.

A boy 18 yrs of age was home alone. It was raining hard that day and the boy was in his room doing homework. He looked out of the window and to his horror found the neighbors daughter dancing in the rain, buck naked. He didn't know whether to keep quiet or call out.

What do you interpret from this story?

What should the boy do?

What do you think about the girl?

What moral lessons do you draw from the story?

Your interpretation will be based on your experiences and colored by your biases.

Quote

egle

@egle

Dazzler

+ 6

Posted: 12 years ago

#99

Being a single parent and that too when parentage is hidden from one of the parties- what did she expect?

Sure, Arnav is a bas***d. But eight years changes a lot so can anyone really expect him to jump on the fatherhood bandwagon immediately?

In comparision to the TV show though, I feel terrible for Sheetal. Poor thing. And worse, for Arav. The boy who wasn't at fault at all.

Never did understand all the hate that Sheetal is getting. The fans must be feeling that their rabba ve couple is being threatened but c'mon, Arnav was a man with a past. Having this child is a distinct possibility and should they choose to show Arnav accepting that responsibility, people should be proud of that character. I'd feel most sympathy for Khushi and Sheetal (assuming she's in luuurve with ASR) at that point. The former because having to make the decision to live (or not) with her husband's past would be a horrible situation to be in. The latter because, well, tough noogies. You waited eight years to tell a father about his son and possibly lost your chance at a happily ever after with him. Also, kudos to being a determined single parent. 👍🏼

Edited by egle - 12 years ago

Quote

Sonia

@sonia_92

Rocker

+ 6

Posted: 12 years ago

#100

Hahaha god I am so glad. Finally SOMEONE who thinks with an open mind and isn't a hypocrite.
I have been living on written updates ever since the new entries in the show and have been going through topics on the forum, a lot of people are obsessed with the idea of sheetal being a bi**h or with the idea of prioritizing arnav and khushis marriage over a child's need for a father, its disturbing.

the message was very well incorporated into the story. I absolutely loved it. I really hope if things come down to THIS in the show, arnav doesnt refuse to acknowledge his own son just because it MIGHT jeopardize his marriage or hurt his pretty wife who has already been through a lot, because that would just be shallow and disgusting.

Quote

1 ... 8 9 10 11 12 ... 15

OS: It Must Have Been Love - Page 10

Related Topics

Explore Topics