SwaRon SS: Come and Heal Me (LAST part - page 22) - Page 14

"I am afraid it's bad news.."

Sharon covered her mouth to stop a strangled sob from coming out. She still remembered how her heart sank hearing that line. That line had been the worst thing she had ever listened to. Yes, that also included the time Kriya turned out to be a better dancer than her, or the time Team Weaklings won against Team Dazzlers, or the time Shivam had copied their dance routine, causing other team members to doubt her. It had been devastating, and her first thought had gone to Swayam. How would he react to this? An acute fear had gripped her in that instant, and it was not even due to the news she got. It was due to his reaction.

She had come home that day, curled herself in her bed, and cried herself to sleep. This trend had continued for several days. Her father had been there for support, trying to assure her that everything would be alright. However, she was not a little girl anymore. She realized that if her pet was growing weaker and weaker, day by day, then he would eventually have to bid her good bye. She knew that people don't just become stars in the sky after dying. She knew that life was not fair. She knew that hoping for a miracle now would be something very childish. She knew. Yet, she still hoped.

Eventually, it had been a five weeks since she had left St. Louis. She knew how much she had wanted to see her friends, talk to him. However, she didn't. Whenever she had wanted to talk to him, she had written a letter for him. It was another case, however, that she hadn't ever sent any. The only letter she had the courage to send was the one she had - to break all the ties with him. Yes, she was scared. She couldn't tell him. It may have been due to the fact that she didn't have the courage to reveal anything to him or the fact that she didn't have the courage to see his reaction to her revelation. She couldn't do that to him. So, she had to let him go despite knowing that it would shatter him.

Albeit the letter would break him for the moment, she knew he would learn to live on. He would despise her for some time. He would also wait for her for some time, but he would eventually give up. It was better than this revelation.

After hearing it, he may feel obligated to be with her as a duty. She couldn't bind him to her. He had a long way to go and she couldn't become an obstacle for him. She owed him that much.

Rey hurried his way down the hall. Where was Swayam? He had been trying to call Swayam for the past hour and a half but he wasn't picking up. Rey tapped the call instruction again, on the touch screen of his IPhone.

From the day Rey had seen Sharon, he was sure that Swayam wasn't fine. No matter how much Swayam tried to reassure him, he just grew more worried. He knew what it had meant for Swayam to finally decide to let go of Sharon. He wanted to be there and help him through this.

He stopped abruptly as he heard soft sobs coming from one of the rooms ahead. He slowly walked towards the room, without making any noise so as to not intrude. He tried to not look inside the room, trying to give the person the privacy they deserved. However, the sobs grew louder and transformed into hiccups. He gritted his teeth in order to restrain himself from intruding, but his eyes traveled to the room in order to get a better look. His eyes narrowed in shock as he saw the sight in front of himself.

Sharon. Sharon, his former best friend, was hugging herself and crying uncontrollably.

His body reacted by itself and he moved inside. He put his hands on Sharon's shoulder and turned her around. She looked surprised for an instant. However, only for a second. the next thing he knew was that she had wrapped her small, shaky hands around him. Feeling the familiar warmth, he engulfed her in a friendly hug. God, how he had missed sharing little things with her. he was just glad that she still thought of him as someone dependable. He suddenly opened his eyes. Wait. Why was she hugging him? Why was she crying? His eyes narrowed as he broke the hug.

"Sharon what happened? Why are you crying?" He asked her in concern.

She didn't respond.

He put his hands on her cheeks gently in order to get her to look at him.

"Did Karan do something? Is he the reason you're crying?" he questioned in an angry tone.

Sharon shook her head negatively.

"Then what happened? Are you hurt?

Sharon nodded her head meekly, and pressed her head in his chest.

He didn't know how to react. He just pressed soothing circles on her back to calm her down. If he wasn't paying attention, he wouldn't have heard what she had said next.

"I am sorry...for everything," she whispered.

It had been 15 minutes that she had said those words. Rey had wanted to know why she had said that. Why was she crying like that? Did something happen between her and Swayam? He took a deep breath, and tried not to bombard her with questions. Yes Rey, one question at a time. Poor girl was crying uncontrollably just a little while ago, remember that!

"Sharon. What happened?" That's all it took. He didn't need to ask anything else. He knew that she would understand what he was referring to. She may have changed for him, but he was still the same best friend that she had left behind.

She broke the hug, and simply looked at him. Seeing her best buddy after such a long time was a pleasure, but her happiness knew no bound due to the fact that he still cared so so much.

"Rey, I..." her voice broke, but she gulped down the tears that were re-forming on the edges of her eyes.

"I have cancer. I mean, I had cancer. I was going through the chemo sessions for that for the past few years. I am better now. I mean, the doctors are keeping me under observation and they have to wait till 4-5 years to see if I am going to have a relapse. If I do, then..then my chances of survival will be..." She closed her eyes in an attempt to control her emotions.

"And you didn't think it was important enough to mention this to us before you left?" Rey looked at Sharon with a mix of anger, sadness, and shock.

"You don't think I wanted to tell you?" She smiled at him, sadness dawning at her features.

"Did you know that my mother died of cancer? Do you remember the time I was coughing a lot during the dance camp? The doctor at the camp said that it wasn't a big deal because they didn't have all the equipment to determine the reason behind my cough so they rubbed it off as a cold. When my dad heard, I think he realized because the cancer is genetic. My dad was already warned beforehand by the doctor. As soon as I arrived in Delhi, my dad took me to the hospital for some tests. I had no idea what was going on. But then, they told me.." She paused and took a deep breath. This was harder than she had ever imagined it would be. She stole a glance at Rey and wished that she had kept this to herself. But it was too late for that now. She had to finish explaining everything. He deserved that much.

"My first instinct was to pick up the phone and call you. And I did. When I called you guys, I wanted to tell you. But every time I called, I couldn't. On one hand, it became really hard for me to keep it in, but on the other hand I couldn't tell you guys because of all the tension that went on in the college with the dance ban. What was I supposed to do? What would you have done Rey?

By this time, Rey kept his silence. The revelation was too much for him to handle. He sat down on the bed in the nurse's room. His gaze went up to meet hers. Tears were threatening to come out, but he didn't let them.

"Alright fine. Not that time, but things did get better. You could have told us. Why...why did you break all connections with us? You could have told us later too. Then why Sharon?"

"But things didn't get better. Not when I was still in contact with you. There was one problem after another for you guys. I just couldn't. And when things did get better, it was another matter. How was I suppose to ruin all of your happiness Rey?" Sharon bit her lips saying the last sentences.

"Seriously Sharon? That's your excuse for keeping this from us? Forget us! What about Swayam? Huh? His happiness was connected to you! You can make that excuse for any of us because we may not love you as much, according to you. But you can't do that to Swayam. He deserved to know. He earned that right!!" Rey gritted his teeth as anger overwhelmed him.

"I know. But I was...I mean, I am scared. Rey, I can't tell him this. He would die, hearing the news. He never said it, but I know. He had so many dreams for us. I just didn't have the courage to take that away from him.."

"So you thought that if you went away, then all of his dreams would disappear? Sharon, do you realize how absurd you sound? Swayam loved you. How the hell do you expect..." And suddenly a thought struck him. He looked at Sharon shocked.

"Wait a minute! You only called us the first two weeks. You never called us after that. The only time we received any news was that letter you sent to us. Did you talk to Swayam at all after you send us that letter? What did you write in that letter Sharon? Swayam never told me what happened. All I remember was that he was crying while saying that it's over between you guys. Did you do that so he would move on?"

Rey looked on to Sharon, horrified.

"I don't know Rey. I don't know what I had wanted, expected. A part of me didn't want him to forget me because he was the most beautiful phase for me, but another part of me did. So when he hears the news of my death, he wouldn't be as shattered. I was never planning to tell this to anyone. I was going to tell that my death was due to an accident. I had made my dad promise me that."

Sharon's eyes grew distant as she took a deep breath to relive the distant memory of those terrible days when she was going through the treatment.

"When I was going through the chemo therapy sessions, it was a terrible time. Every time a strand of my hair fell while I was combing, I would break out in sobs. I imagined you comforting me, finding ways to cheer me up with Vikki and Bharat. Every time I felt too weak and lifeless to dance, I imagine Simmi and Rinni being my support. Every time, I had to go for the sessions, I imagined Swayam being there, holding my hand through it all. I imagined him telling me that everything will be alright Sharon. But he wasn't. You weren't. They weren't. No one was.."

She looked away and moved to the edge of the bed, breaking eye contact.

"I know it was my choice. But it hurt like hell. Karan was always there. And Sharanjeet? She would always be there whenever I felt nauseous because of the medication. She would always be the one to force food down my throat. And my dad? He would never leave me side. Can you imagine that? My dad, being a workaholic that he is, always came home early because of me."

She hugged herself, as a shiver ran through her. Rey wrapped her frail body with his jacket in an attempt to sooth all her years of pain.

"I am still weak. I barely restarted dancing. I wasn't allowed to. Can you imagine Sharon being away from dance so long?" She chuckled humorlessly.

"You have to promise me that you will never tell this to Swayam. Rey promise me that!"

Rey turned her around gently. He shook his head negatively. This was too unfair to Swayam.

"I am sorry Sharon. Swayam deserves the truth. You can't tell him that but I can. He still thinks that you didn't love him. He doesn't even know if what you had was something special because he doubts everything that happened. You need to tell him that!"

"No. It's not the right time yet. I will tell him. But when I am sure if I will survive or not. I wasn't even supposed to come in front of you guys until that happened. Until the doctors were sure."

"No! You're just chickening out again. Stop making excuses Sharon. Please. You have the chance right here. If you won't then I will!"

"No you won't! I am dying person Rey. Consider this as my last wish. Please.." Sharon clasped Rey's hand in urgency.

"No Sharon, that's all the more reason that you should tell him."

"Rey I trusted you with this secret. I will tell Swayam myself. If you or anyone else does that before me then I will never, and I mean never, forgive you for taking that right away from me!"

When she didn't hear Rey responding, then she continued.

"Tumhe meri kasam, don't tell him anything. I know that I don't believe in superstitions like that but I am dying. I can take whatever I get. If you care for me even a little then please don't."

Rey frowned as an expression filled with sadness and anger filed his expression. He nodded in frustration.

"You have to help me get out of here Rey. I can't face Swayam like this. I need to go away from here. I know that he will ask me the questions that I can't answer right now."

"Only on one condition Sharon. I won't tell Swayam anything if and only if you keep in contact this time. As soon as I realize that you stopped contacting, I will tell him everything! This time, you will tell me where you are going. You will tell me what's up with the treatment. Everything. And this time, you will make sure to call me when you need me. Understood?"

Having no other option, Sharon nodded. She rested one arm on Rey's shoulder as Rey led her out of the room. After making her way out of the building, she saw her cousin waiting for her. Before making her way towards him, Sharon turned to Rey.

"Rey does it ever stop hurting?" Sharon asked, knowing that Rey would understand.

"No. But eventually, you grow numb to it."

----------------------------------------------------

Part 5 (b)

Four and a half years later

Swayam felt jittery as he stopped his car in the parking lot. He slowly opened the door and got out. He gestured his automated keys to open the trunk. He slowly reached down to take out the bouquet lying there. He closed the trunk gently and stood there, looking at the bouquet.

He took in the fresh aroma of the bouquet of flowers that he had bought. He smiled sadly as he remembered how her smile lit up when she saw those flowers. This had been his ritual for the past two years. He looked at the cemetery as his eyes started to well up with painful memories.

She had always been one of the most important people in his life. She had always understood him, and had a unique way of showing that. His only regret was not having enough time to spend with her. Why? Oh, why was she gone so soon? He never had the chance of telling her how much he loved her, adored her. His heart pierced with an acute pain when he realized that she had deserved much more than what he had given to her.

All the time, he had been sad over the separation. He never realized how much it must be hurting her to see him like that. He had talked rudely. He had taken his anger out on her, without realizing that he was hurting her so much in the process. He had really hurt her a lot.

He slowly made his way towards the place where the grave was located. He had come here far too many times in the past two years. Every time he felt that his regrets were too overwhelming, he would come here to vent. Of course, today was different. It was her death anniversary. This was another thought that sank his heart.

He was walking slowly towards the grave, when he realized that there was someone leaning on the ground near the grave. He smiled sadly. Of course, how had he forgotten her? His wife had always been there for him when she died. If it weren't for her then he would never have gotten out of the depression caused by her death. He walked quietly, and stood behind her, observing her.

Sharon felt someone's presence behind her. She turned around to look at Swayam. She gave him a reassuring smile. She got up, and offered a hand to him. When he took her hand, she led him in front of the grave.

"Mom, thank you. Thank you for always being there for him when I couldn't be, and thank you for always being a mother that I never had before. Thank you for accepting someone as broken as me. Even though I wasn't worthy.." She felt hand on her lips, and she knew that Swayam doesn't like it when she talks like that. She looked in his dark eyes.

"And thank you for coming for me, even after I left without saying a word for the second time." Saying this, she wrapped her small hands around him.

Yes, it had been a struggle to get her back, but he succeeded.

**Flashback**

"Rey does it ever stop hurting?"

Rey looked at him, shocked at Swayam's ironic quesiton. They had both asked the same question. For a second, he didn't know what to say.

"No. But.." Rey started, but was interrupted by Swayam before finishing his statement.

"'you grow numb to it?" Swayam finished in a whisper and looked Rey in the eye. Rey's heart stopped for a second. Was this Swayam's way of showing that he knew what Rey went through or was Swayam trying to tell him something between the lines? His answered was answered when Swayam raised his eyebrow at him. Crap! He knew.

Rey looked onto Swayam, horrified, as his heart thudded uncontrollably in his chest. After an intense game of dare with their eyes as they looked onto each other, Rey heaved a sigh. He felt a bit of relief that Swayam knew, without Rey having to tell him.

"So now what? Are you finally ready to leave her alone?" After brief moment of silence, he heard his best friend laughing uncontrollably. Rey looked incredulously as Swayam. What had Swayam meant? What was he up to now? That laughter never meant anything good.

"Leave her? Rey do you see the time I have left? I should have been there the whole time. I should have been the one to take her to the hospital. I should have been there to offer her a hand when she falls because of fatigue. I should have been the one to call her every hour to see if she was alright. I should have. But I wasn't. This is the time when she needs me again. I am not about to leave her alone!" Swayam closed his eyes to slow his pumping heart down.

"I love her and I want show it to her that it doesn't matter. We all will die one day. To me, all it matters is that I can be with her in whatever time she has left. It's not only because I want to be there, but because I need to there. If...if she dies, then I would never get a chance to tell her...I would never get a chance to show her the things I want us to do together. If I can't fight with god, I can at least show it to him how much I need her. Maybe that will change his mind. Maybe he will let her stay with me.."

Rey's heart broke at Swayam's expression. Swayam looked like a person who is clinging onto that one hope. He didn't know what to do exactly. To hug him and comfort him, or give him Sharon's address so he can have his timely happiness. After a minute of weighing his options, he decided the later.

"Alright I will call her for you. After that, you can handle. I am sorry that I can't help you more than this but I know that you can handle it."

Rey dialed Sharon number, and he was quickly answered with a 'Hey Rey!' He gave the phone to Swayam and gestured a good luck as he distanced himself to Swayam to give them some privacy.

"Hey Sharon..." Swayam whispered.

There was silence between them. Both of them had so much to say, to vent, yet none spoke for a while. They just took each other's presence. On one hand, Sharon was in dilemma of hanging up the phone or not. On the other hand, Swayam was trying to find the coherent sentences for what he had wanted to say to her.

"Don't leave again. Please.." That was all he could muster in the instant. He held his breath as the silence stretched on. For a second, he thought that she hung up on him but her slow breathing gave him assurance.

"How?" her voice broke as she tried to finish her questions. Her efforts were futile but Swayam understood what she wanted to ask.

"It wasn't Rey. When he saw you crying, he was on the phone with me. I don't think he even realized that I had actually picked up with phone." There was another pause of deafening silence.

"So...you know?" Sharon asked in horror.

Swayam: "Don't go Sharon. Please don't. I promise that I would never cry. So please. Don't go.."

Sharon: "Even when you see me go through the therapy session with the doctor?"

Swayam: "No. Instead of crying, I will hold your hands right through it all to let you know that it will all be alright. To let you know, that I am here and you don't have to face that by yourself anymore."

Sharon: "Even when you see me get tired and out of breath after doing little things?"

Swayam: "Then, I will be there to be your support. If you want to dance, then I will dance with you to make sure you won't fall. If you want to cook, then I will cook with you to make sure that you won't hurt yourself. And if you want to go out, then I will make sure to take Sharanjeet with us because I know that you are independent, so you get embarrassed really easily. You wouldn't want me to hold onto you."

Sharon: "What if I don't want to get up in the morning? What if I want to give up?"

Swayam: "Then I will make sure that you have a reason to wake up to every morning. I will make sure that my enthusiasm will become your strength."

Sharon: "What if..what if I have a relapse? What if I don't ever get cured?"

Swayam: (After a long pause) "Then I will make sure that the time that we do have remaining is worthwhile. I will make sure that you give cancer a good fight, because Sharon I am not letting you go that easily. I can't fight God, but I will pass his test and he never disappoints us. I have full faith that we will get out of this!"

Hearing his words, Sharon's eyes welled up with fresh tears. She choked those tears on each answer. God, how she had missed this optimistic attitude of his.

Sharon: "Don't make this harder for me Swayam. You have finally decided to get over me. I don't want to be the one to change that."

Swayam: "I can never get over you Sharon. You will always be a part of my life. It's true that there was a time that I was really angry with you, but I never hated you. It's also true that I was shocked and devastated at this news. I don't think I had enough courage to face you. No, I don't think I have enough courage even now but I want to. We have wasted so much time thinking how we will face the other person already. We don't have any time to waste.."

Sharon: "I am a dying person Swayam. The doctors are sure that there will be a relapse. I am not faring well Swayam. I am broken. Don't hope for too much.."

Swayam could hear her crying uncontrollably on the phone.

"Sharon? I am coming to get you!" He didn't wait for her answer.

He went towards Rey to ask for her whereabout. Thankfully, she hadn't left yet. She was still at Karan's place.

When Karan saw Swayam at his doorstep, he was more than surprised. However, Swayam only asked him where Sharon was, and went past him.

After reaching Sharon's door, he stopped. There she was, hugging the phone and crying. His heart ached as he sped to her side and engulfed her in a hug. She stiffened at first, but then she eased into the hug as she realized who it was.

After few moments, she whispered: "I thought you didn't love me anymore. I heard when you were talking to Rey in the parking lot. I thought you had decided that it was time..."

Swayam chuckled. It was the cruelty of their timing. They always misunderstood each other because of that.

"Sharon how can I get over the girl who I dream about every night? I can never forget you. For a time, I was angry at myself. After seeing you at the engagement, I thought I had been betrayed. I felt cheated. After years of waiting for the answers, I felt like I had lost my rights completely. I thought that what we had was a lie. The part of me that was hoping that you had some other reason for the break was shattered. I am sorry I didn't realize this sooner. I am sorry that I didn't come to you sooner Sharon."

He hugged her even more firmly. He wasn't ever letting her go. If he had to fight death, then so be it.

**Flashback ends**

The fact that she had cancer killed him. When he heard that through Rey's phone, he had been in his office, trying to locate the nurse's cell phone number. His feet gave up on him when he heard the news. And he had cried. He didn't have the courage to face her. How could he not have noticed? It was all right there. She seemed frailer now. Her body seemed weaker due to the treatment. Her hairs were shorter because she lost them already. She seemed paler because she kept on vomiting due to the therapy. He had fisted his hair in an attempt to feel her touch. When that didn't sooth him, he had reach inside his wallet to take her good luck charm out. That had calmed him down. It was then he had decided to face her.

Their fight with cancer had been a constant struggle for the both of them. There was a time when things looked up after Swayam and Sharon got back together. However, her body started reacting negatively to the treatment as her health deteriorated more and more. Swayam's heart cried for Sharon, but he made sure that she never finds out because he had promised her. However, things were better now. There have been no relapse. She was still under observation. The doctors still called her for check-ups but it was fine now.

He was snapped out of his thoughts as he heard her speaking.

"You know it's alright. Your mother is not angry with you. She always wanted you to be happy, that's all. You know what she had told me one day when I was helping her in the kitchen? She told me that she was content. It was her dream that you marry someone you loved, not someone who she arranged." Sharon turned her eyes towards the grave as she broke the hug.

"She said that finally she could die peacefully. So, you don't have to be sad anymore Swayam. She will always be here for us. Right here." Her sad eyes smiled at him as she pointed at his heart.

"Then I guess she would never be happy Sharon." He said mischievously.

"Swayam Shekawat. Do you intend to reveal your deep dark secret at your mom's grave?" Sharon raised an eyebrow at him.

He smiled as he leaned down next to her.

"Thank you mom. Thank you for letting me marry not only someone who I love more than life itself, but also someone who is my life. I don't know how I will ever thank you, because you have done so much for me. However, I will try to always keep her happy so you can feel proud too."

Sharon smiled as she smacked him playfully on his chest. She always got embarrassed whenever he would say corny things like that.

He wrapped his hands around her. Yes, time heals all wound. His mother's separation would still hurt, but she would always watch over him. For now, all was well.

This part concludes this SS. The last line was inspired by Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I am going to write my full sentiments about this FF in the end note below. Do read it as it is the final note. It took me forever to write, so the comments would be much appreciated. I really do hope that you guys like this part because I am not fully satisfied with it just yet. I wanted to put in so much more. I hope this final part cleared your confusion about everything.