Deep Thoughts:My Writing Index..New OS link PG-41

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Satnam

@Satluvsd3

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

#81

ok this time it would be a short comment.
since i read it with a break 😆
ok so this OS was beautifully written...the description of the atmosphere in the start n end (poor moon!😆)...the way SHE described HIS perfection in the start 😳
then HE came in no time in front of HER!!😆
then the cute little tom-jerry sequence ...with the scoreboard being updated 😆
the looks which SHE gave pre and post of him reading the diary loved all the expressions!!!!!!!!😳😉
great job di!!!!!!!!!!
keep writing ...😊 love you ...🤗

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Deepika

@_Deepika_

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

#82

Originally posted by: Satluvsd3
ok this time it would be a short comment.
since i read it with a break 😆
ok so this OS was beautifully written...the description of the atmosphere in the start n end (poor moon!😆)...the way SHE described HIS perfection in the start 😳
then HE came in no time in front of HER!!😆
then the cute little tom-jerry sequence ...with the scoreboard being updated 😆
the looks which SHE gave pre and post of him reading the diary loved all the expressions!!!!!!!!😳😉
great job di!!!!!!!!!!
keep writing ...😊 love you ...🤗

Hey baby..thanx for commenting...i know u were uncomfortable reading this OS...hope d romance was not too much for u...m glad u like the moon...n tom jerrry sequence ...luv u swthrt...🤗

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Yogini

@yogini64

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#83

Wow . . . . Amazingly beautiful 😃

lovely description of swaron . . . . . . I can totally picturise sharon lying on the bed 😛

& uska deewanapan toh d3 me dekha hi tha . . . . . . . Missing all the time her majnu 😉

& he's there kissing her . . . . . & she thinks he's imaginary 🤣

diary ki bet . . . . & score 1-o . . . . . Ufff... Ye competition

itne hott n sensous poem . . . . . . . Sahi kaha,, majnu ko bhi peeche chod diya 😉

loved the OS . . . . Damn interesting 🤗

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Crazy4AshVik

@Crazy4AshVik

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

#84

Mindblowing os!!

Loved the poem😃

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Roger

@HPHolic-3

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

#85

Awesome os
It was soo romantic n cute.Beautifully written.
The poem was soo good n sharon all blushy blushy thinking about swayam.N here our naughty boy teases his cute siren..:D
Loved it

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Meera

@MirageSwaron

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

#86

Beautiful one Deep...ur a master at converting emotions into words, what u wrote was no less poetic than the verses that you gave Sharon the credit for...fairytale settings, and Swaron luv at its very best 😊

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Sowmya

@Joshua_TANHA

Trailblazer

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

#87

Awesome OS..after I read all senti SS's i needed one romantic OS to pep up my mood 😆

This one did exactly the same 😆

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ananya randhawa

@Ananya.SwaRon

Voyager

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#88

THE DIARY,i think the title would be the best to start with. the title says it all. the OS was written nicely with some precise moments written meticulously. Sharon blushing on the mere thought of her husband,Swayam was nice. i liked how you wrote the dialogues. the dialogues were placed at specific places which added to the charm. the SwaRon aura could be sensed all around the OS. thus,it was a Sweet and Nice OS.thanks for the PM.

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pratik vyas

@pratik54000

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

#89

Hey Deeps I am back and read the os just now...and why you said in the end that it was bad, very bad or boring...i mean tell me the parameters to judge this os first...because i found it very entertaining full of romance and very adorable...to ab tu muje apne parameters explain kar firstly...kis basis pe ye work tuje acha nahin laga...

and i loved the way you started the story with explaining how sharon was lying on bed with pen her mouth..trust me i was just in dream land imaging sharon like that...and man it took my heart away at very moment...

again you rocked it with swayam's entry and the natural reaction of sharon..shocked, surprised and couldnot believed he was taking tall on her...but the kiss moment was just fabulous yar it made sweating on my head instantly...

than the scoring pattern you used through out the os was just added flavour to read...you used the scoring the point very well through out the os...i loved the scoring came like goals made in a foot ball game and game ended on tie as both were on 2-2 and penalty shoot out went to sharon because she made swayam loose hi pateince on her...

and the lines you used were just totally rocking yar...itni achi lines kahan se likhi...tum to poet bhi nikli yar...amazing work deeps...those lines really touched my heart yar...you are amazing with this os...you simply rock...swaron are one cute couple that can never allow you to imagine anything else beyond them...

loved this os to the core...

thanks for the pm...do continue writing more and more...

Pratik

P.S, I am sorry i am late but i was stuck in some work so could not be on time to read this one after the exams...so sorry for that...

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ShrutikaSwaRon

@ShrutikaSwaRon

Dazzler

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

#90

Luved the os...beautifully written...it was nice to see sharon write a poem...n then getting caught by swayam...she thought she was dreaming swayam when he was actually present there...aww how cute...they r so much in love wid each other...luv the way u described their romance...n the part of moon was also very well written.