FF: Arshi: 101 letters(22 Dec thread2 pg158) - Page 5

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tv_watcher thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#41
really-really nice...waiting for d next update
NothingLasts thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#42
im looking forward to this!
masam thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#43
Definitely looking forward to it!
Exprimere thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#44
Aw... I love the concept! Waiting to see where this is going!
smitzy thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#45
*None of my work can be copied without explicit written permission from me. It's not polite to steal ideas.*

writer's note: Thank you all for your lovely comments! I'm happy to see such a wonderful response! 🤗


Character sketch

* Arnav Mallik, 14 years old.

-- Rajeev Mallik, father
-- Kavita Mallik, mother
-- Anjali Mallik, sister (20 years old)
-- Deviyani Raizada *NEW*
-- Mahendra Raizada *NEW*
-- Manorama Raizada *NEW*

* Khushi Kumari Gupta, 13 years old

-- Garima Gupta, mother
-- Shashi Gupta, father
-- Buaji *NEW*

* Lavanya Kashyap, 13 years old

* Aman Mathur, 14 years old *NEW*


I'll update this later if more characters come into play. This story will not involve much of other characters, but I'll write about them as and when the story demands it. Hope you guys like it!

Cheers! 😊
Edited by smitzy - 12 years ago
smitzy thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#46

If you haven't read the character sketch, please scroll up to the previous post.

Part 1


The coordinator's voice announced for the participants of the 100m sprint to gather at the starting line. Clad in his school monogrammed tee-shirt and white running shorts, he came out of the stadium's dressing room and slowly walked towards the field. As soon as he stepped on to the track, the air filled up with the collective chants of "ARNAV! ARNAV! ARNAV! ARNAV!" 14 year old Arnav Mallik stood startled for a moment, his chocolate brown eyes slowly widening in surprise to hear such a rousing welcome. He could identify a solid mass of red in the stands at a distance waving his school flag; his school mates, all egging him on enthusiastically. A huge smile appeared on his face as he raised his arm and waved his acknowledgement to them.


It was the Inter School Sports Championship at the City Montessori School, Lucknow, one of the biggest events of the school calendar which invited schools from all over Lucknow to engage in a week's worth of sports events. Although, the initiative was started to bridge the gap between schools, over the years rivalries had developed between the schools and this annual event was the time for settling of old scores.


Arnav glanced at the other participants stretching near the start line. He could identify some of his old competitors from the last year. Losers, all of them, he smirked. There were some new entrants too. Well, it's too bad for them. They'll lose the very first time they decided to participate, thinking confidently to himself Arnav started performing the stretching exercises with careful precision. His coach had warned him not to exert his muscles too much but had also stressed that they needed to be warmed up enough before the race. At the next announcement, all the participants walked over to the starting line. Arnav focussed his complete attention to the track, pushing down every other distracting noise to the background. He arched his eyebrows in a frown of concentration as he kneeled on the track, his foot set on the grove behind him.


"On your marks... Get set... GO!"


Adrenaline surged through his veins and he leaped into action. Taking long powerful strides, he pushed himself into working up a slow steady pace. Around the mid of the track, he swung his arms more deliberately and picked up the pace slowly overcoming his rivals one by one.


If ever there was one thing that made Arnav feel absolutely free, it was running on the hard ground with the wind whistling in his ears. It was such an amazing feeling of liberation!


From the corner of his eye, he saw someone edging past him by a couple of inches. Determination fired into his being, oh no you don't! This is my race! He urged his feet to go faster and faster till he could see the shiny glint of the satin ribbon mere feet away. Raising his arms in a sign of triumph, he surged towards the finish line. And as the ribbon lazily draped his body, the entire stadium erupted in collective victory cheers of "Montessori!" He punched the air in exhilaration and moments later he was smothered in hugs by his school athletics team mates.


If ever there was one thing that made Arnav feel absolutely elated, it was the feeling of victory.


Basking in his win, he allowed himself to be pushed towards the stands where his friends were waiting for him. On his way, he passed the parents' seating enclosure. Someone tugged at his arm, disengaging him from the crowd of his supporters. Arnav turned around in surprise, but suddenly beamed a huge smile in recognition. Smiling back proudly at him was Kavita Mallik, his mother. She tried to hug him in congratulations but he stepped back pointing at the sweat he was covered in. His mother shook his head for a moment, and lunged for him and hugged him hard.


Even though he was a teenager, Arnav was far from being embarrassed at this public display of affections from his mother. It didn't matter to him if his friends would end up teasing him for days together afterwards. Right now, the warmth he felt in her arms could not be replaced by anything else in the whole world. He slowly withdrew from her hug, still smiling widely.


"I'm glad you came Maa!" he whispered to her.


"Did you think I would've missed seeing my son win?" she asked him affectionately. Behind her Anjali gleefully gave him a victory thumbs up. Arnav smirked and tried to hug her too. And as he had expected, Anjali shrank back in horror seeing how sweaty her brother was. Arnav laughed out loudly.


"I need to go and change Maa. I'll see you both at the prize distribution ceremony!" Arnav said and ran away towards the changing rooms.


Not once did his eyes betray his disappointment of not seeing his father there.

Edited by smitzy - 12 years ago
masam thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#47
Okay so a really interesting update.

Liberation.
Victory.
Determination.

All of the traits that our boy is known for.
And not seeing his father, a twist there? The happiness and warmth that he felt after embracing his Ma was heart tugging but clearly his parents have marital problems, and the effect is there. Even in the excerpt.

Great job, keep up the good work :)

Exprimere thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#48
ooh! CMS, Lucknow! My Mum's native place is Lucknow, although we're bengalis... And I LOVE that city!!!

A very interesting start... Since the prologue is disconnected, I'm really eager to see how you introduce new characters.
Edited by Exprimere - 12 years ago
aamirkhanfan thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#49
great start and
a lovely update
lazyblues thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#50
superb update !

arnav the superstar !! i luv it ❤️

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