Aitbaar(Trust)(AK FF)Pt-29-31, Pg-74, 05-14-2014 - Page 5

Originally posted by: vamita

Good argument to talk about dear...You know in India, especially bombay, there are people who live in a one bedroom flat, never show off and increase their big fat bank balance...I had a friend, whose dad owns a famous saree shop in dadar...The shop is very popular and total of two storey with lots and lots of varieties and they run a very very successful business...But they lived in a one room kitchen house al their life...Can you believe it...? His daughter used to travel by bus, with me and I was like what the heck...? You earn almost 8-10 lakhs per month, and sending your daughter by bus, staying in a chawl, no less...!His wife is a nurse in Bombay hospital and their expenses are no more than 10,000 a month, for all 4 of them...! But if you really see the bank balance, they are capable of taking a flat in Juhu area and still have a big fat bank balance...! It is wierd to see this, but that is the situation...! It is not just them, but 100's of others, who seem like a middle class family, but earn like no one can imagine...I have a cousin, who has been living in bank quaters and thought that they won't be able to afford flat in today's rate, and bam...She took a flat worth 2 crores...I was like shocked...! Today, Indians earn a lot compared to abroad...Many can easily afford university expenses...! So, dont think that a middle class looking guy, doesn't have a good balance...Most of the time, people just don't let it show...You should see the gold people have in India...! You will be just shocked that atleast each average family in India has 100-200 gms of gold...This I am talking about average people...Who work as servants in peoples house...Not even middle class...So, you can imagine...India has become one of the costliest country now a days and many people are going abroad to learn instead...To be a doctor the average cost is 30 to 40 lakhs...! And people are giving it...Not rich, but middle clas...! So, you see, Dilip might be a middle class in people's eyes, that doesn't mean he has enough balance to afford good education for his kids, not to mention persuade their dreams...!

Okay I agree with what u said above but being mid class is one thing and to pretend urself to be a mid class is another thing.. the examples u have given are those people who are not from a mid class family at all but they like to show themselves like that.. fine, their choice! and all mid class looking people are not actually rich and have a good fat bank balance too.. so if u say someone is a mid class man it doesn't mean that I should also assume abt him that he is actually not.. in ur update u did not tell us that Dilip might be a mid class in people's eyes the way u are saying now.. for looking like a mid class family in people's eye, u have to live like that too.. and look at these Khannas.. they have a 3-4 bedrooms house, car, acha khana peena, children studying in good institutes.. vacationing in Singapore, andaman nikobar island and what not.. when Dilip is not a mid class man nor he has a mid class lifestyle then why did u write "but a mid class man" in ur update.. he is not even a mid class in people's eyes..

Kripa has been staying with Khanna's for 7 long years...! Have you ever seen some kids, who are taken by relatives and friends...Normally people like Dilip and Avantika tend to be extra careful to make the kids feel at home, not realizing that even extra love, can make them feel akward, making them acknowledge that they are someone else kids, and not the part of the family...There are people, who hate to take care of others kids, people who be extra loving so they don't feel outsider, people who act normally...Here if you see, Dilip and Avantika, never scolded her or let her do what she wants unlike Aliyah, Angad or Kartik...They tried to be extra cautious of her feelings, in turn making her feel as a outsider without knowledge...! They loved her in their own way, still were not able to see what she needed most...That is human psycolgy...Neither kripa is sweet here, nor she is too good...She is doing this because that is the way she feels...An outsider, though everyone loves her more than she could have imagined...But she somewhere feels that they are doing it because they feel sorry for her...She keeps quite and doesn't argue because she doesn't feel as a part of family...She tries to work her way, so they don't feel that she is a burden...She doesn't argue, because she feels it is not right...So you see, how a human mind works...It is different in different person...And this is one fact, which I came accross...! Feeling the need to do it...! She is not too good to be true, but she is having a huge problem, which Angad is trying to crack up...!

human psychology or human negligence? D-A themselves are good parents.. I m sure they understand that how much love and care should be given to the child in order to build a good personality of him/her..extra love and care either spoil a child or make that child realize that he /she is special from the rest.. in Kripa's case, 7 years is a long enough time.. u cannot be extra sweet and loving all those yrs without realizing the fact that how u are actually damaging her personality and her self esteem..

@ bold.. I must say this Kripa is aik number ki na'shukri (ungrateful).. seven long years have gone and she still feels that they feel sorry for her.. how weird is that? she needs to stop thinking herself a bechaari.. I m an outsider, I m a burden..what is this? stop playing this sympathy card here that ohhh these people are so nice to me bcoz I m an outsider.. if she has so much prob with their extra love and care then why she didnt talk abt it with D-A yet.. it seems like she herself doesn't want to be the part of the family.. she is living with them coz that's her majburi, cant go anywhere else..

And as for kamvali bai, people don't prefer them many times, because they are many a times not available, or are too demanding on time and further do the work very badly...Humare ghar mein kaamvali sirf jhadu pocha karne ati thi...We had a machine and did our laundry and then cleaned the dishes ourself after eating...! My mom used to hate kaam vali bai washing dishes, as they don't even scrub properly or sometimes keep the detergent in the vessel...That is how it works in many households, as it is difficult to get a good kaamwali in Bombay now a days...😆...

Well, when free ki kaam waali is already available at home then u really don't need to look for another one, no?😉 it looks okay when all the house chores are equally divided among them.. when Aliyah is not interested in doing all this then its Avantika's duty to find a good maid..

Angad has been watching Kripa since childhood and also sees something his own parents are not able to see...May be they see it, but don't feel that they should push it too much...! And so are keeping quite...! Sometimes, some people have this tendency to see through people and know what they are lacking and Angad is trying to see how she has confined herself to the family...As the story progresses, you will see, how Angad will try to crack this tuff cookie...!😆

but here Kripa's behavior is quite obvious so it's a bit strange that why they are not able to see.. both parties are at fault here..

Originally posted by: Iqbal Neha1

amazing part

it seems even after all these years kripa still does not feel part of the family and misses her parents. i liked the way u showed how angad is trying to take kripa out of her shell but their is always something that stops him getting any were. Kripa's charachter is really sweet but i hope she slowly starts socializing more and voicing her opinions.

cant wait 2 read the next part.

Originally posted by: spvd

part 2
awesome di...
Kripa is always keeping to herself...
has she not yet accepted the Khanna's fully by heart?
but understand her position too...
there doesnt seem to be any kinda feeling between Angad and Kripa...
but Angad is trying to make her come out of her shell...
poor Kripa...
cont soon dear...

PS - di edit ur title too...

Originally posted by: aroramaina

Amazing update di.Kripa is so shy and innocent.I dont think she will open-up easily.Angad has to work hard for it.Continue soon.

Originally posted by: vamita

Annu, In India, middle class people are the ones which have normal life, like a flat, good bank balance and good life style...If we go according to you, then it means, my family come in upper class as well...But still people will classify as middle class, as we are living like one of them...Upper class people own bunglows, villas and so on...That is what it is like diveded here...So, it doesn't matter what we have...The life style as people see is what they know...! Though my sis is in US university, I am staying abroad learning art, my dad travelled all over the world, we are still classified aa middle class in India...Standards of rich people are living in luxury...While middle class standards are, living in comfort and having what is needed for good education and a little fun...!

Okay apparently it seems like there is a big difference of opinion among us when it comes to the definition of mid class.. the people u call Mid class, I would call the same as 'UPPER MID' class.. see, its always mid class >> upper mid class >> upper class >> and then high or rich class.. Im not an indian but my close relatives are.. I have been to India twice so have a clear idea of class difference in India too.. Vamita, trust me in ur entire discussion u are actually talking abt upper mid class people.. they are ones who send their kids to abroad for higher studies in order to pursue their dreams.. you and ur family is def classified as Upper Mid class in india dear.. and the way inflation rate is increasing day by day, a mid class man never earns so so much that while full filing all the basic necessities of daily routine life, could save a big amount of money so that he could send his son to US to learn music and dance..

btw read this.. average income of mid class.. they earn around 15-20k.. so ur family and Dilip are from upper mid class.. http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110113164656AA4ABxU

And as far as vacations are considered many companies in India give a lumpsum amount every year for the families to go on vacation and even a normal person can afford it now a days...! We travelled all over India, even when my dads salary of around 5000 rs 20 years back...That is because we got vacation package from bank...So, going for vacation abroad, sending kids to study abraod is all the life style which Indian middle class families are able to afford as well...Rich call for luxury, while the middle class family try to save it and use it wisely...!

@ bold.. really?? how cool is that!!🤔 but which multi national or foreign/local bank of india u are talking abt here which gives this kind of luxury to their employees every yr.. can u name a few companies here plzzz!! don't u think if they would really do so they will get bankrupt easily.. my bro is a banker.. he said, bank pay u only half basic salary as LFA, Leave Fair Assistance.. that's it.. even if u work at a high post in Airlines then they just give u the air tickets for the families (baqi saarey kharchey aapke apne).. btw the whole world is facing recession in economy, companies are trying their level best to reduce their expenses so name those companies who are giving such a luxurious incentives to their employees in such worse economic recession..

Kripa here is doing what she is doing, without her own knowledge...She is not saying she is not one of them or is a burden, but she is doing her share, like every guest does, though she knows she is not just a guest...Obligation is something, a child as sensitive as her does it without knowledge...Even when my friends come home for dinner or lunch, they clean up all the dishes, saying you did the cooking, now let us help with dishes...That doens't mean they are my kaam wali bai's...They just do, because, they don't want me to feel the burden of having so many guests...And I do the same, when I go to others house...Help out as much as I can, not wanting them to feel like I am just sitting and eating doing nothing...Whenever I go to my parents house, even though they are my parents, I don't take them for granted...I don't want them to feel the pressure of work, and I do it for my own happiness...That doesn't mean that I don't love them...! It comes naturally...I go to guests house, and you know one hand of help and people are happy to have you...Why? Because they don't feel the pressure of having a guest and doing all the work...Infact theya re happy to see that you are helping and you try to be part of them at that moment...May be you never stayed with anyone, but I can tell you one thing...My husband used to stay with his uncle, and he did what he could to help them out...Bring grocerries, help out in the house, pay bills, go to bank whatever...It is just the way some people feel, to see that they don't burden anyone...And Kripa being shy and very very reserved, has this feeling...It comes very naturally at the age of 12 and 13...Here even my friends kids whom I know from around 7 years, who are around 12-13, they too try to clean up their plates, try to help out...It is natural, to feel oblized, when someone does so much for you...!

Okay I agree with u here but why are u giving american examples here when ur characters are from Mumbai.. their lifestyle is completely different from ours.. what ur friend did, is nice but they also knew that u didn't have any kaam waali for ur help, thats why they did all the dishes.. but in ind/pak, scenario is different.. yahan har baat ke liye aik maid mil jaati hai.. aur yahan log, friends ke gher ja kar dishes nahin dhotey..

My friend lived with her cousin for 6 years dear...And I know how the child feels when they stay with anyone but their parents...They don't feel totally comfortable, though they are loved...She used to not feel comfortable to join in their discussions, thinking it was not right, though they used to call her...It is not so easy to stay with others...Every step of the way there is some burden we carry in our soul...Still after marriage, my cousin never forgot what her uncle aunty did for her, and tried to do what she could whenever she could...! They loved her very much, still she couldn't be part of them...They felt her discomfort, and tried to divert it, without realizing it...

And some people just don't see too deep about what damage they are doing trying to do a little much to the adopted or others kids...They just don't realize it...! They don't understand here that they are doing a mistake, by not talking to the kids...They just feel that they shouldn't dig their pain again and think time will take care...That is why it is always said that in any healthy relationship, a person talks it out and tries to solve the problem...But here the problem is that they are not even trying to see the problem...They just think that time will take care, which is not...! And that is the mistake...That is what you will see in the future, when slowly these points will come forward...And Angad is the one who saw it...He tried to come in between, but his parents feel that with time, she will over come this gap...! They asked him to stay quite...That might have indicated Kripa, that may be he was jelous of his parents showring so much love on her...! You can't know what really is going through the human mind...! So, no one is perfect...Every one has flaws and these are the flaws which Kripa has to see through...!

Some people just can't express their thoughts, without someone trying to initiate them...No one here so far talked about Kripa's loss or her past with her, neither did they ask how she felt...They just did what they felt right...But it is not necessery that what they thought right is always right...They might be wrong too and they just don't realize it...

then its really amzinging that how no one could able to notice anything in her although they all are living together.. God knows what they kept doing all those years.. they know that she lost her parents and must be feeling very lonely.. then why they never talked abt it.. it sounds so strange..

If you tell that way, then mujhe bhi kaamwali bolna padega...! At my home, it was always me who helped mom...Neither my sister, nor my cousin, who stayed with us helped...They were simply not interested...But I did not mind...It is their own wish...! No one is forcing anyone...! My mom never asked me to work, but I just couldn't see her do it all alone, while we played and watched TV...And this was since when I was in 6th grade... In fact during diwali, it was just me who used to do most of the cleaning in the house...My mom took care of buying groceries at that time, while I cleaned as soon as my vacations started...My sister did not even come once near to help...So, do I call myself kaamwali...? That is what it is in many households and that is why joint family don't work...The person who does work keeps on doing, while the others sit and eat...So, the way you are thinking is wrong..

Wrong example.. here we are not talking abt what one does at her own home.. even in ur example its you who did all the work naa and not ur cousin.. why so? Why didn't u sit along with ur sis and just eat and it should have been ur cousin doing all the house chores.. but it didn't happen.. so sorry dear, keeping this ff in mind, ur example is not relevant here.. Vamita, did u ever stay at ur Aunt's place for atleast 3-4 yrs.. did all the dishes while ur aunt's daughter did nothing, no house chore?? If u did then fine.. u are indeed a great person.. but I m not that mahaan type.. if I stay at my aunt's place then I''ll only do the dishes if my cousin will do some other house chore.. lekin agar wo mazey se bethi rahey, TV dekhey ya study karey aur main unke gher ke bartan dho'oon, rotiyaan banaoon.. nope, ye mujh se nahin ho sakta! and its not like if u or me do the dishes at our home we would be labelled as kaam waali.. but def in anger we do say.. ye kya mujhe kaam waali bana ke rakha hua hai yaar..

.Avantika is herself a home maker and she does the work along with Kripa...If Aliyah would have worked and Kripa would have stayed back, then also she wouldn't have minded...It is just the way of thinking...If Kripa would have felt used, then she would not have got so attached...! Still she felt that it was her duty to do what she could at home...! She felt the need to do it and it is very very common...I go to my cousins house and I straight away start cleaning her cubby, because she keeps it in mess...! I just can't see it and she keeps laughing and saying that it will again be the same in a day or two and leave it...But I just say that as and then I am going to stay here for a week, so let me help you...It will lessen your work...!😉

my point is, when Aliyah is doing no house chores then why so much burden on Kripa.. ye ehsaas karna toh Avantika ka kaam haina ke jab meri apni beti koi kaam nahin kar rahi toh kripa se sab kaam lena thek baat nahin..

No one is perfect...Some try to see things differently, while others are just ignorant...Some try to reason, and some just try to get on with daily work habits, without a thought...So, you see, everyone has their own faults...!

These two were pretty long discussions, but I must tell you...I don't get enough time to write so much as I have two kids who stand around me all the time for one or other thing...! So, will make it short from next time...My kid is trying to count the emotion faces here on the screen while I type and it is irritating sometimes, when he keeps putting a hand on the screen...😆

aww sorry kids, Aapki mamma ko kis kaam pe laga diya..😆 actually u are giving too many american exampes in ur reply that makes ur post extra long.. but having said that I really appreciate the way u take so much ur time out and reply to me .. Thanks! 😳