Hey Gayu and Risha,
I am grateful that i landed up here through a PM received from Ms. Happilyunkown whom luckily i know quite well by now 😆 If i hadn't ? Well i would have missed out on this thread, which would be completely my loss.
Now lets get to reviews :D
Route no. 753: Lovely beginning to the story, such a warm welcome- Risha you added a certain calmness to the picture while talking about the daily hustle bustle, a feat in it's own. Among the pushing, pulling and grumbling all of it silenced by the depth in hearts, of doing it all for family, for peace. Simply brilliant outlook. Arnav's demeanor - very apt for a person like him, and isn't it true some people have that aura which makes others feel cautious to even approach the person but what is he doing here in a bus? Surely he doesn't belong here something you explained further, his car broke down.
Khushi clearly overlooked any of those signs as she rushed in, glad of her accomplishment on catching the bus and sat next to him in the process doing the biggest crime! Stepping on nicely polished shoes. I personally get very annoyed when that happens! lol
Khushi is full on filmy, naive and a chatterbox. Yet there is something very different in her which lifts her from being categorized among the group of mindless girls, she is not the one to be intimidated by high-class, mean eyes and money. She knows her stand and doesn't believe class, richness or beauty separates her from the likes of any other.
I couldn't believe when you showed that Khushi fell asleep, really she fell asleep? I haven't traveled much on bus so i wouldn't know, but how can you go to sleep with Arnav Singh Raizada in the vicinity, wouldn't she be more alarmed to be next to the man she has gained instant dislike to? hehe You again explain later she had been tired.
Arnav courteous though he was, woke her up like a smart man would, but here something very earth-breaking took place, he stayed. For her. Moments ago wasn't he waiting to get out of this bus? It's not just concern anymore, he is drawn to her, he felt protective. Wasn't she one of the many when she entered the bus, so wasn't she perfectly capable of going through a bus ride, he could have nudged her awake and left, she would surely find her destination.
To no surprise Arnav followed, he isn't the man who would follow someone in hope of a thank you for his act of kindness. Nope but Khushi is special alright which is why even he doesn't have an answer ready to the question. Khushi's response is completely understandable, one may expect and acknowledge help received from a person all smiles, but not from an arrogant and annoying seating partner. Her quick apology shows her modest nature, and her smile on seeing the rain, shows she has no reservations about herself, she will laugh, smile, cry at her will. For her face shows what the heart feels.
Arnav's thoughts on rain and Khushi. Beautifully explained, Isn't it peculiar when we see others doing something we have never done or dreamed of doing. Funny to see others enjoy it, while we ourselves myt cringe at the thought, and with it comes the temptation to try it and see whether it really is that enjoyable?
And you skip from there, without giving any romantic inclinations from thereon, i love the fact that you left it there :D
A married couple entering a bus, the man not so happy while the girl chirpy and joyful at the prospect of being there. What can be better than to relive a journey they had once taken completely unaware of the future and to be there again and reminisce the days that have passed and with it the beauty it carried into their lives.
And the ending, you couldn't have made it more beautiful! With all the darkness in the world there is still light in the hearts of hearts, in the city known for it's alarming rate of crimes. You weave magic with your words, this has been an amazing read and am already looking forward to your next, Hats off to you and a huge thanks for sharing a wonderful part of yourself, your imagination with us :)
Flying Finally: Gayu, the beginning showed us Khushi's predicament, she is going to get engaged, yet is he the right one? she doesn't know. Nothing about him makes a cross in her check boxes of future husband, but there's something missing. Her mother and sister are little comfort as they talk her into the situation making her feel unimportant, her own opinion irrelevant, her fear uncalled.
Arnav, an important man. Successful and accomplished, with confidence brimming from him, nicely written :) Even the driver fears him and he doesn't fail to bank in on it, poor driver 😆 This showed that Arnav wasn't grumpy but also up for a little fun at times and i really liked that trait you added to this already stunning personality. You know it- Arnav Singh Raizada demands attention! 😳
I somewhere felt that Arnav's question of who would marry him, wasn't the right one he asked, it was rather who would given him such a family. With whom would he share such love? Was it even possible? For then he thinks of the girls who would marry him for all his riches and looks the very next second. His point of view has dry humor clinging to it, which makes him very interesting. He doesnt fail to show his amusement, the girl doesn't challenge him, she amuses him. haha! nice!
He already has a prank up his sleeve, this didn't seem unusual at all, i was reminded of the nat khat Arnav Anjali talks about, the prankster Arnav, just that in your OS this trait is prominent in his adult years as well. But the similarity dies soon - this prank isn't meant to be lighthearted, this prank is cruel. Like him. I Liked the events of the ride from then on.
Loved they way Arnav stopped her, Khushi's innocence and the trust she laid on him became a burden. Arnav may have been harsh to others before, and some might have even deserved it, but a pure soul like Khushi's didn't deserve to be insulted or humiliated like that. Perhaps the fact that he never came across someone like her made him think of his actions bringing the overwhelming sense of guilt.
The ending leaves one wishing that they meet again, and they might as well, who knows? But that is not the point, the point is the lesson Arnav learned, the change he felt within himself, and although you never showed a perfect happy ending, i can already see him as a doting father the one who had entered with his wife and two kids, the family which made him wonder if he would ever be blessed with such a blessing 😳 Overall a wonderful read ! Simply amazing :)
Beauty and the Beast : I haven't seen in IF a better version of B n B in the form of writing, and by that i speak not only of the story or the characters but the definition of beauty and beast. The introduction was so lovely it drifted me off into the world you presented and i was in there until the beast in question was mentioned. I was instantly reminded of a quote i had read long back, and google here has helped me quote it to you -
"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen."
And i think it falls so apt to the orphanage kids, to Khushi, to Buaji and to you :)
I chuckled merrily on Buaji's abrupt scolding to the girl for eating sand, you have got a knack for these small moments which leave a smile really.
The beast is then introduced, thundering, raving, mad and annoyed. Barking orders as he stands in that position of power and strength.
And then you take us back to the place of calmness not the material one but one found in the hearts of those who do good. The joy, the love, the merriness- it's all so lovely that for a moment you want to be a part of it too :) The books Khushi handed over, i recognize Nancy Drew and Harry potter, nice choices you made, these kids books are lovely with meaningful messages to offer. I could sense your love for books, i mean aren't they amazing? You penned it so amazingly, that i have fallen short for words at the moment.
Khushi starts narrating the story disturbing Arnav who should really remember that he is in an orphanage, but he is the beast afterall, doesn't like to be disturbed. The effect Khushi had on Arnav was very peculiar, it was her laugh which reminded him of his mother and calmed him to an extent. I was stunned and surprised, another one of your brilliant skills. It made so much sense. He found her comforting, loving and affable, a reminiscent of his mother. Nicely done.
He then sees her beauty which was Simplicity.
Buaji thought like an endearing elderly lady would, wisdom shines from her. For she is so right in her judgement regarding the two, not about them ending up together, that's the romantic in her, but their character and personality.
The conversation between the two was again beyond amazing. ASR talks about what he values most, money. Khushi talks about what she values most - time and love. It's a battle which turns into slight humor all thanks to Khushi, and surprisingly amazingly Arnav isn't angry rather he is enjoying himself. Then Khushi declared him as the beast, bound to offend him lol but he merely disregarded it and decided to leave. But Khushi had to provoke the beast 😆
The resultant, two of them face to face again- Buaji sensed that it wouldn't lead to something bad hence she left, otherwise the wise lady in her would have stayed looking for any chances of damage. I liked their conversation from then again, and Arnav's threat to not be in the premises again. How dare he! that's what crossed my mind, and that's what Khushi thought as she stormed towards him. I chuckled through and through merrily, to me it all seemed so cute.
But then matters turned serious, and i liked all of it, till the point Khushi running after him with the book, his response, true that actually. The book was a gift, but doesn't that become quite materialistic? The book was lifeless true, but the mere memory is enough for him,there's so much of good in it if that book brings a smile on someone else's face too just like it once did for him, But he takes it back anyway. Khushi's silence was also wonderfully done. At times we are left speechless, times when we ought to say the right thing, but we are just unable to at the spur of the moment, only to be haunted by the incident in the rest few days like it did with Khushi. That one line -Will this one do. I had the biggest smile on reading that. Buaji peering from the window was cute too, and the children who were very much a part of the story have their space at the end too, a happy world of Arnav-Khushi and the kids, every week sharing smiles and Love. Lovely read! Loved every bit of it! You have a way with words Risha! ⭐️ You are an amazing writer! :)
Broken English: I Loved the characterization of Arnav. You have a knack for presenting fresh ideas and characters. Loved the introduction. Arnav's thoughts, his background, and am glad you gave him a loving father whom Arnav respects and loves.Hats off to you, for not making me think for even once how odd it is for Arnav to have such a background, Perfectly living up to the theme parallel universe of this thread. 👏
Then the title plays out but it intrigues one all the same, he doesn't know Hindi then why is the title - Broken English. Surprise Surprise,' got to read this now' kinda feeling enveloped me :D
I could completely relate to the NRI bit and not knowing the language, with parents insistence that their child ought to know their mother tongue, their attempt to speak hindi at home. All of it very well-explained and very real.
Arnav's thoughts are very well explained, he is a very strong character, one who decides to make the most of the situation however much his heart wish to make a run from there.
Surprisingly Arnav feels immediately drawn towards Khushi's beauty and quite intrigued by her style of dressing. It is understandable how he couldn't understand her, When one doesn't know a language they ought to really concentrate, plus Khushi would be having the lucknowi dialect, much more harder to understand as she spoke away in a flurry.
Arnav being the NRI, straightforward person, immediately did the essentials and hoped to have further contact with the girl, passing over his card.
I liked Khushi then arriving at his office with her dabba service 😆 The conversation between Mohan and her was also insightful, and her gesture to send in the pasta- lovely. You surprised me although it shouldn't come as a surprise, but ofcourse Khushi doesn't know english, and his accent, ah makes so much sense! Again you have the same knack as Risha in linking the small moments together. Wonderfully done! 👏
You make me grow fond of this Arnav, as he decides feverishly that he is going to learn hindi no matter what, and him wondering that one night would be enough lol Adorable is the word! 😳
The culmination to the whole story was sweet and at the same time hilarious! 😆 In a Good way! :D Khushi copied Arnav's words in response 😆 How cute is that. The title : Broken English- Wonderful Gayu! Simply Brilliant! 👏
Going by the length of my post, you guys would clearly know i had one hell of a ride in this thread, such brilliance, i don't mind the long post, hope you guys don't either 😆
It's such a wonderful blend, While Risha you have maturity and depth in your writing Gayu has such lovely ideas and a young heart. Risha your work makes me ponder over the meaningful messages and you have the effect of a movie running in your writing and Gayu your work leaves me with a cheerful heart and a huge smile. You are beyond amazing at building characters, doing complete justice to them. You guys are such wonderful writers! Please carry forward and keep posting here, i would like to receive future PM's, have sent a buddy request. Sorry for such a long post, i hope you guys didn't doze off halfway somewhere really *shakes her head* But i enjoyed all of it really! Thanks for such amazing reads! :D Bundles of talent here! :)
Gayu i promised i would post in this morning, but i wanted to post in a nice review, so took time...anyways Thank You once again! Oh am so glad i didn't miss out on this thread.
Loads of Love
Zeejay :)
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